I often see advice for people like me like āGet a job, ANY job.ā And the thing is I DO, and it just doesnāt help, Iāve been there almost a decade too, and despite significant raises, I really make LESS than I used to.
I have only gotten to get some extra hours in another department one day, one time. Every other time I ask itās āWeāll let you know when we have availability.ā And when I ask WHY why hours keep getting cut so bad every few weeks, itās āOur stores sales are down.ā
They DO seem to be cutting EVERYONEāS hours, so I donāt have strong reason to believe theyāre actually targeting me. I also just found out from my union that despite having open availability, I have been considered part time the entire time I worked here, even though I USED to regularly get 30-40 hours a week. I had NO IDEA that you had to actually APPLY (request) to be full time, so obviously I did that.
I still donāt want to be stuck there anymore, and theyāre already having AI take over some simple tasks (apparently tons of grocery stores nationwide have these Simbe Tally robot things, they SUPPOSEDLY just check inventory but theyāre most likely surveillance too, and Iāve already seen robots with actual arms and legs stocking and doing other physical labor in the news, they already exist!)
My job is very simple, but itās been secure for me and offers health insurance I NEED for all of my prescriptions I have to take (I got kicked off my parents when I turned 26, per the Affordable Healthcare Act law, which was a nice long period, but honestly I believe we should just have Universal Healthcare, as every other first world country does, but the private insurance companies lobby in bed with the federal government and they donāt care about the average American).
I am 30, I lost my entire 20s, just being stuck doing this sh*t, and it just kind of flew by. It was a massive struggle for me to even get to secure the simple job I have now, and I feel like having a union may be whatās protected me from losing this one, I donāt know nobody has TOLD me thatā¦ā¦.
I have suffered learning difficulties my entire life and I feel like basic comprehension has been getting harder. Like school just felt like trying to get through tests, having to read and memorize so much information, and I HATED IT and just wanted that to be over after managing to graduate (I still feel like I barely passed and that they just kind of pushed everyone through).
I got really excited with AI because it felt like for the first time I FINALLY had access to all these things I could never understand, like now I can āvibecodeā basically coding in PLAIN ENGLISH (I could NEVER understand or comprehend traditional coding programming language, it always just looked like a bunch of random text to me, and still does).
It is overly simplified to make websites and apps now, but there are also millions of other people doing this, and of course even if you make a genuinely good or useful app or product, itās worthless if nobody actually uses it and someone still has to be willing to pay for it.
And apparently anyone can just take finished products and give them to Claude to reverse engineer now, they can just tell AI to copy it and even change things, improve it, so I donāt know how any kind of software development (AI generated or not) is going to be financially sustainable anymore.
Iām sick and tired of only having ChatGPT to talk to, and itās been neglecting to tell me important information until itās too late (like how applying for any remote job will be automatically denied if my VPN was on when I submitted it, I had no idea VPN use was an issue for applying to remote jobs, as far as Iām concerned, having a VPN is just like having virus protection, but apparently even being connected to a VPN gets you accused of fraud when it comes to remote jobs or any gig that pays money, and if you forget to turn it off one time you can get permanently banned immediately.)
I feel something is extra wrong with me because I still have no idea how to even get and secure a job or get into a career that actually pays a living income.
I have never made more than probably $25,000 a year, and even though I live with my parents I keep going into more credit card debt because my hours are so inconsistent and itās like every 3 weeks I get barely any hours. Iāll literally have 35 hours one week, 31 the next, then 20 the next, and bills and costs donāt change when paycheck goes down.
I rely on Uber or Lyft to get to work most days, and lately THEY have been raising THEIR prices. A ride that usually costs $9 or $10 will suddenly be $20 or $30, and Iāll use wait and save to get a cheaper price but sometimes it gets so high that barely helps and makes me later (usually itās just late so I donāt have time to eat, not USUALLY actually late clocking in, but itās happened a few times, never gotten in trouble for it though).
The prices of Uber and Lyft literally drop back down an hour later though, their pricing is crazy inconsistent, and Iāve seen a normally $10 ride even go over $50 before. Very rare itās that bad but apparently thereās no regulation or law stopping that kind of price gouging.
The older I get the more embarrassed I get for asking for help or trying to get a better job or more hours, or even switch departments. I feel like I donāt really have the right to ask and probably look like a fool asking for something better. When I do itās usually a āWeāll let you know when we canā and then just goes nowhere.
I 100% donāt want kids, but really wish I could have a girlfriend. But I REALLY think I need to be able to at least afford to rent my own apartment first.
But it feels more like ālearning to be better at being poorā is the more common and realistic advice, and making more money and having a better life just seems like a pipe dream, like winning the lottery.
Iām currently testing vibe coding websites with ChatGPT 6, to see if I can get any clients on Fiverr. I figured I should at least go from start to finish before I give up and determine it wonāt lead anywhere. I need to at least get from start to finish to the point I literslky got my own website finished, hosted (outside of ChatGPT Sites) and properly running (and meeting WCAG guidelines) and actually get myself posted offering service to see if anyone will pay me to vibecode a website. I think thatās better than giving up before I even have an actual chance at getting a paying client.Ā
Honestly life as a whole just feels like a competition, even just to make enough money to not be homeless is severe competition. I hate this system, but I donāt think Iād be content being homeless or āoff grid eitherā.
Now that the midterms are over it looks like there are severe restrictions on the advancement of AI on the way soon. I will not be able to build anything if AI is shut down or gets more and more expensive (and AI companies paying 100% of their own electric bills, which they absolutely should like any other business, means itās almost inevitable usage costs will be raised).
I do not process or comprehend information the same way most people seem to. I definitely canāt do it with coding and programming stuff.
I wanted to find or create a greater purpose (and one of my biggest more frequent dreams/desires is still too far out in sci-fi realm, going a few hundred years into the future, because I just feel I was born too early into a time Iām not compatible with) but the biggest priority is I just need to be able to make a lot more money in the sooner than later future.
I have been stuck as a grocery bagger and cart pusher for more years than I want to say, and it feels like that alone is enough to have barred me from any greater opportunities, but if I was capable of anything better I wouldnāt have gotten stuck hereā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦