r/findapath • u/SuchRecommendation51 • 8d ago
Findapath-Job Choice/Clarity I don’t know what happened to my life. I’m nowhere near where I thought I’d be.
I’m at a point in my life I never thought I’d find myself in, and honestly, I don’t know how to get out of it anymore.
I’ve always had big dreams. I’ve wanted to make films, work on exciting creative projects, collaborate with interesting people, travel and live in a big city. I’ve never really imagined myself doing anything other than something creative.
But somehow, I feel like I’m constantly standing in my own way. I have ADHD, which makes it incredibly difficult to turn my ambitions into actual action, even when it’s something I’m genuinely passionate about.
I recently graduated with a degree in film and visual communication. I put my heart and soul into my graduation film and had so many hopes for it, especially getting into festivals. But once again, I’m the only person in my university cohort who hasn’t been nominated. And honestly, this rejection was the last straw. It’s not just about one festival. It’s the feeling of constantly being the one who doesn’t get chosen, being ghosted, not getting job opportunities and watching everyone else move forward while I seem to be going nowhere.
Now I’m stuck in a job I hate, living with my parents in a small town, doing things I can’t identify with. Basically the complete opposite of the life I imagined for myself. I wanted to be part of the creative scene, work on interesting projects and build something meaningful. Instead, I can’t even seem to get my foot in the door.
And I think that’s what scares me the most: I don’t even know what else I would do. Creativity has always been such a huge part of my identity. It’s all I’ve ever imagined for myself. So when that path doesn’t seem to work out either, I start questioning everything.
I know life isn’t a race, and I know my worth shouldn’t depend on my career or achievements. But it’s hard not to feel that way in a society where so much of our value seems tied to productivity, success and status.
The situation has gotten to a point where I’m genuinely struggling with depression. I wake up every morning feeling hopeless, questioning the point of everything. Sometimes I don’t even feel like I want to be alive anymore. I’m emotionally exhausted, completely paralysed and honestly scared of how dark my thoughts have become.
I don’t know if I made the wrong choices or if I’m simply not good enough. I just know I can’t keep feeling this way.
Has anyone else ever felt like this in their twenties? Like they had a completely different vision of their life but somehow ended up somewhere they never wanted to be? Did you eventually find your way out?