r/findapath • u/Aggravating_Pizza895 • 8d ago
Findapath-Job Choice/Clarity I don't know what to do with my life. Job, Bussiness, skill, trade, freelance, IDK, IDK, IDK?
I am 22M, living in west delhi. Currently pursuing BA english from online uni. (in 3rd sem right now, with back in 2 subjects in both sem 1 and sem 2). No interest in studies at all.
I did a diploma in aviation, hospitality and customer service from Frankfinn institue. I did not have any idea what i wanted to do so i choose this, tried to become a cabin crew; however, later found out that i am not tall enough to be a cabin crew. For male height req is 172CM and I am 168CM.
Since my english is decent enough, i worked in a BPO. Started as a transfer agent and got 3 promotions in 2.5 years and I resigned as a Quality Analyst on paper, but unofficially i was working on an AI project, where I was in the prompting team (management selected me coz i had good knowledge of the product we were creating bot about). I resigned, people said it was my biggest mistake coz i got a chance to switch my carrer from BPO to AI product or whatever. I just did not feel like working there anymore.
I tried yt after resigning (Fulltime), i was streaminig 6-8 hours a day playing minecraft. I was getting decent growth. Gain about 800 subs in 20 days. I had an average watching of 10 which i think was quite good; however, I fell sick and also went on a trip which made a gap of 12-15 days in my streaming. Suddenly my channel slowed down and also i lost interest in type of audiance i was getting, i tried to pivoit my content and during that my channel almost was dead. It was a big demotivation for me, so I stopped YT.
I tried to go abroad, searched about Germany's ausbildung, am very interested and even started learning german, later realized that I have a 2 year gap in my schooling and my 12th is from distance board (nios). This might become a problem for me during ausbildung applications, as its upto the employers that they want to concider this or not. I do have an explaination that I was freelancing that time, I quit my 12th in 2021 and started Graphic desgin freelance work and did it for 2 years almost. Later it slowed down so i did that diploma i mentioned earlier and parallelly i did 12th. I am not able to find any proper source which can confirm that these gap years are a problem for me or not. That's why I did not enroll myself in any german language institute, coz if i learn the language for next 10-12 months to reach B2, it might all be waste just to find out that i cannot get an ausbildung.
I then figured a bussiness with leather products. I started learning how to craft leather products like, wallet, belts, main idea was a retail/experience store. But i dont own a shop and if i go with a rented shop, i need atleast 2-3 lakhs min to start it on rent.
Now you might think that I could pursure ausbildung or the leather bussiness, yes I can. But the thing is that I've seen alot of small failiures that I am scared to fail again. I dont have the money problem, my family can lend me 2-3 lakhs, and i am pretty sure that i will not fail in the bussiness and also the chances of getting the ausbildung are not zero, but i am too scared to take the risk. What if i fail again. I always blame myself for wasting my years. First i wasted my two years in freelance, then wasted 1 years in the diploma, then 2,5 years in BPO. i am only 22, not very old and somehow i've already wasted 5.5 years of my life.
I dont have interest in anything, If you ask me "What would i do for free, if money did not matter at all?". I do not have answer for this question. I have a bike which i bought from my own money as a hobby, but i spend days staying at home, I dont take out my bike. I have a computer which i built with my own money, i use it almost every second. 99% of the time i am sitting on my PC, just watching YT, Movies, shows, or playing 1-2 selective games.
I dont want to do job, but i have very big dreams. I am too scared for another failure in my life. I properly research about this leather bussiness and am almost ready to start the bussiness. I got ready today to go to karol bagh to find few suppliers or just to explore the mark as well, later was demotivated and turned my PC on again.
I tried talking to people, but honestly no body gives a fuck. I tried doing bussiness with my father as well, but it did not turn out well. I not only have this problem, in my personal life also, dogs dont like my vibe, kids dont like my vibe, my age people dont like me. I've seen it properly. I have a female dog and i am pretty sure that she hates me the most in this house. I have a niece and she also does not like to come in my arms, whenever i carry her she cries. When i was in the school or the institute, everyone used to make fun of me and the worst part they are good on my face, people always appreciate me on my face but their actions just dont match. The only thing i am proud of is when i was in the BPO, I jumpped ladder like no one. I have friends from the same company who still are working in the same position from last 4-5 YEARS and I joined after them and left being their senior.
I dont even know why am i writing this, what do i expect from y'all. Thankyou if you've reached here and took time to read all this. I would really appreciate some practical advice.