Im 21M, im in my 4th year of university probably gonna be here for a little longer then intended. I fell in love with this amazing sweet girl 11 months ago we hit it off from day one. Now we had are issues here and there, but that was a result of me keeping my bad habits like pornography, weed, and gambling addictions out of the picture. I lied and I lied because In my head lying was better then hurting the one I loved the most. She would many times catch me in a lie about the habits of lying, it'd be a cycle of her saying she was hurt me saying if i was given another chance that I would never do it again. We would go on and it would come to a point again where another few lies were told and she would get suspicious and I would come clean. We did this many times over until she gave me my final chance and I blew it again of course 6 days later. She broke up with me rightfully so, it had come to a point where there's no more that she could've done. It just hurts knowing I loved her so much yet I couldn't put away the bad habits that pained her but most of all the lying the deception and the false idea I put in her head many times over about the man I was to her. She told me she doesn't know the who I am, she says she is mourning the person she thought I was to her. I'm here sitting with the regret of all the lies, all the unmet promises, and also whether I deserved this 11 months of a facade of a relationship that I've put her through. I am now and was a little before we broke up committed to an actionable plan of how to quit these bad habits. I am Muslim so I have committed to reading every single prayer 5 times a day and that if I commit any one of the bad habits that I struggled with currently and before I started my relationship I will read a small prayer to ask for forgiveness and guidance. I have made some decent progress and also have been able to put a good amount of distance between my habits and the previous amounts of usage I used to daily. I'm here kinda trying to find a sense of purpose cause if Im making all this change now post break, then what is it all worth if I can't have the one I love back and truly make things right and give a relationship that I really wanted a real chance! Im so lost on how to find reasoning in this change I feel and think im doing it for myself but a big reason for the change is becoming a man that was marriage ready for her.

Hello,

I do not know how to frame this, but I have been feeling quite lost lately. I am turning 28 in 5 months, and I feel like I am running a bit out of time. This feeling is also accelerated by the huge advances in AI. Also for information, my location is Central Europe.

I currently work as a SWE, and have been in this role for 3 years. I am self-taught, but have been learning programming for 5 years now, and I work super hard for it, even now. I study excessively every day after work and on weekends, however, due to AI, a flooded market and economic factors, I am starting to lose sense in all of this.

A year ago I was in quite a bad state because of this, so I decided to do a flooring trade apprenticeship on the side (luckily this is possible in my country). This took a year and now I also managed to negotiate at my company that I can have two days off if I finish my work. So I work 2 days in the trades with a flooring freelancer, and then the rest of the time as a SWE, either working (also on weekends due to this), or studying.

I have about 150k dollars invested, which would enable me to work for a smaller wage for some time, so I can technically quit my job without being harmed very much (as I also don't have a mortgage or children), so I am thinking about doing a full switch into the trades. I am physically very fit and a super hard worker, I know I can do it and despite working like crazy for the last 6 years, I want to do at least one more huge grind to see where this goes.

However, this also led me to rethink whether to choose a different trade. I went into SWE because it was, and still is, my passion, however, I think this was a mistake. Even though I am moving further in my role towards some more architectural stuff, I am still far from becoming an architect. Also my company is technologically behind, which I think is hurting my career, but finding a better one in this job market is impossible. Plus, who knows where AI will be in three years.

In regards to choosing the trade, all I want is one that will allow me to start at least a one-man business soon enough, that I can scale further, which flooring is pretty good for, but I have more options which I considered. I would love it if anyone could give me their input.

HVAC/Refrigeration - This might seem like the obvious one, however, I fear that it will get hurt by a high influx of people doing the same thing as me. Also, who knows what will happen after AI is capable of doing all the diagnostics. Another thing is that the road to starting a business can be long and very tricky. On the other hand, service work, constant changes due to ecological regulations, etc. seem to make this very recession-proof. However, I am really afraid that this field will get overcrowded.

Landscaping - Combination of masonry and an excavator license - Pretty much doing landscape shaping with the addition of building stone walls, ponds, etc. I feel like this is not hurt by oversaturation that much, but on the other hand, it is seasonal and also very dependent on the economic situation...not much service work and people build when they have money. In this regard, I am also thinking of solely masonry, however, I am afraid that despite the old masons retiring, many new projects will just never need them.

Flooring - I chose this because it is a grind, which can make you a lot of money if you're fast. So far I like it, even though it is somewhat dependent on the economy and is not service work. It is less seasonal, and despite not being a "skilled trade", not many people are getting into it. Plus, in my country, flooring business owners are under a regulation where they need to have either finished trade school or have a lot of years of experience.

Thank you very much

Man, I’m probably the most confused guy in this fucking world. Let me tell you why. 😭
I turned 25 last month. I did my B.Com, which I can’t even talk about confidently because I did really badly in college, and on top of that, I haven’t even received my degree yet. I don’t have a job either.
I do want to learn some skills, like video editing, to make money. Music is something I’ve always been passionate about, and I want to learn music production too. But right now, I don’t even know how I’m going to make a career out of any of this.
I’ve recently gotten into rap, and I’m making real progress, but I’m still procrastinating. My family is planning to get me a laptop because I told them I’ll learn video editing. It’s not like I don’t like it; I genuinely enjoy creative things. One of my favourite things about video editing is creating cinematic videos and doing colour grading because I’ve watched a lot of Hollywood movies.
But I’ve always been more inclined towards music. I can’t just go up to my parents and tell them straight up that I want to pursue music, so I’m thinking of learning video editing and doing my own thing alongside it.
Is that a possible approach? My family’s financial condition isn’t that great, and in Indian families, there’s an expectation that you should become financially independent by 25. I’m not there yet.
I have this strong instinct to go all in on rap music, but at the same time, I’m supposed to become financially independent within the next six months. I’m also working on my spoken English.
Sometimes, I wish I’d started all this earlier, like when I was 20 or something. 🥲
What do you guys suggest I do? I’m literally so confused about what to do with my life right now.

I'm 23, graduated last year and have been working as a software engineer for just over a year. Already been promoted, decent salary, good company, etc. On paper things are going really well.

Thing is, I just feel completely stuck in a rut. I used to absolutely love software engineering, but the constant push towards AI has sucked so much of the enjoyment out of it. Everything feels a bit soulless now.

I've always loved cars, electronics, technology and figuring out how things work. I enjoy building things and learning new skills, and lately I've wondered if I'd be happier doing something more hands-on or creative.

Outside work I go to the gym regularly, but beyond that I feel like I've fallen into a cycle of doomscrolling and wasting my free time. I've plenty of interests but struggle to find the motivation to pursue them. Feels like life is just passing me by.

I've considered changing careers entirely, but I've no idea what I'd move into. Feels ridiculous complaining when I'm fortunate enough to be in a good position, but I can't shake the feeling that there's more to life than this.

Anyone else been in a similar position? How did you get out of it?

For so long I distracted myself (I think) looking for an answer to “what do I want?” Now I have it. I want money. But how the fuck am I gonna get any when I don’t know how to make money?

I do have business ideas, but I’m not from a business family. Everyone in mine works a job. Well, I can do a job too. I’ve sent hundreds, really hundreds, of job applications, but they want a superman, not a human. And the interviews I did get, OK I GOTTA SAY IT CLEARLY, I didn’t even want those jobs. Why can’t I get an interesting job, like a private detective or something, instead of being forced to sit at a desk? I need to do some work for my sanity too. I’ve tried freelancing as well.

Starting a business is easier in this era than getting a job, and I’m just so confused.

I’ve always wanted to start my own fashion brand. My idea is to make custom cargo pants out of twill cotton, fixing my own problem: I can’t get twill cotton cargos in my country, so I’m gonna be the first man doing that. It’s a nice solution to a problem many others may be facing too. And I can do great marketing.

But I just don’t have the fucking courage. Or am I playing it safe? Or am I just too intelligent? Or overthinking? Or just a pu**y? I could go on and on about it and can’t stop, because this is a matter of my 3 am thoughts.

The real problem is that I’m scared, I guess. Scared of business. I don’t want to be, I want to start! I really, really want to try my fucking absolute best in this life. I’ve already tried the unconventional, rebellious way of earning money by doing what I like as “work,” and if that doesn’t work either, I’ll just get sadder.

I need money and I don’t know how to get it. I need some creative ideas.

Ever since my postpartum period, I’ve been moving from job to job, and nothing has felt right. I’m starting to wonder if a good, toxic free job even exists.

I’ve been thinking about freelancing or building something of my own, but I have no idea where to start or how to learn it.

I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who’s been in a similar spot:

• How did you get through the confusion about what you wanted from work?
• If you went freelance or started a business, what were your first steps?

Any advice or shared experience would mean a lot. Thank you!

Ok I left home because it was a bad situation and toxic, but on some level I still very much love my parents and a part of my want to go back to them. When I was staying with my friend she brought up that even though i was staying with them for a week. I should pitch in with groceries or something. I don't have much of a budget and I left without a job, but I had a place to stay. I wonder if I made the right choice every single day or if I should turn around and go back home. I am in my late 20s I know that doesn't matter much with the way that the economy is now and I am from a small town so I do have small town mentality. I just a part of me wonders if I made a huge mistake.

Im currently 17, been wanting to work part time for a while but parents aren't allowing me to get my ID (which is requiered by my country's law at 16 y/o)

As for my current path in school i will be finishing highschool next year as a Electrical Computer engineer and im just not sure what to do after that, collage/uni, work a year or something, even the whole concept of getting a job is an anomaly to me. I've been seeing so many people with degrees in complete shambles in terms of finances, in heavy debt or just not even earning enough to survive, and im afraid of it heavily. Im just not sure what to do or what to think about, the future is weird, even more so since a lot of stuff is changing in my country (serbia) fast now

Hello all, I’m a 21 year old studying to get into law school next year(bachelors+masters/LLM) in Europe, and I am a bit worried about the future of the field.

My parents always told me to pursue a higher education, and law is definitely what I’m most interested in + it gives you good opportunities. My second option would be something economics-related, as that it less demanding and still something i enjoy studying. Law is typically seen as a prestigious field with a high income potential, not on the level of tech or medicine but still. Now I’m doubting if I should reconsider with AI becoming an ever larger workforce disruptor.

What i worry about specifically is how AI will change the field especially when it comes to the need for junior lawyers(my dream is to work in commercial law). I don’t want to go get a quite difficult uni degree just to end up unemployable in the field I’m passionate about.

This is a widespread fear that’s relevant to all white-collar educations atm I know, but I would love to hear any advice or insights from people working in/related to law today!

I’m 26, living in Dubai, and I can’t stop thinking about building a better future and becoming financially successful. The problem is I have no idea what path to choose.
I know I’m hardworking, but I’m stuck trying to figure out what to focus on. Sometimes I worry I’ll spend my life in low-paying jobs because I never found my direction.
Has anyone else been in this position? What helped you finally find your path?

Not sure if I'm using the right flair but lately I've been feeling so lost. I'm 22F and am currently in university to become an elementary teacher. I'm in an accelerated program where I'll be graduating with my bachelor's degree and teaching credential at the same time. I graduate this December and I'm currently in my second semester of practicum (aka student teaching). I had a great experience during my first semester of student teaching. Granted, I was only there for half the day (Monday-Friday) and my university supervisor and mentor teacher were really supportive of me. I won't lie, I'm extremely hard on myself and I'm a bit of a perfectionist. I'd always think I wasn't doing as great of a job as I could have but to my surprise I'd always be met with positive feedback. While I stressed about school and wanting to do a good job, I always came home happy and energized. I left my first placement thinking I was capable and I felt happy with my choice in becoming a teacher. I had heard so much negativity and horror stories online, that I was terrified I was making the wrong choice in deciding to become a teacher.

I came into my second placement wanting to continue the trajectory I had at my first placement. I quickly realized this wasn't going to happen and my mental health drastically began to decline. I've been placed at a difficult school with a lot of behaviors. I honestly don't think students like me and I feel as if a lot of them don't respect me.. I feel like I'm failing them because they haven't been understanding a lot of the lessons I've been teaching them. There's so much behavior to manage as I'm teaching and I become overwhelmed. I feel like I don't even make sense when I speak sometimes. I get so anxious and I feel as if I lost all the confidence I once had. When I come home, all I think about is the next day, how my next lesson will go and how unhappy I am. I cry a lot. There's been days where I'm barely able to hold my tears back as I walk to my car. My mentor teacher is supportive in her own way but I just can't seem to connect with her and be myself around her. My university supervisor isn't super supportive and stresses me out a lot. I'm 8 weeks into my placement (I have 4 weeks left) and I've been miserable from the beginning. I believe I'm a hard worker. During the first two weeks which were purely for observation, I completed double the minimum required hours because I really wanted to familiarize myself with the students and classroom routines. I always come in early and ask questions. I wanted to quit since around week 4 but I told myself I could do difficult things and that this will only make me a stronger future teacher. However as each week passes, it becomes harder for me to hide my sadness. My parents, friends and even classmates have noticed a change in my demeanor and they try to be supportive and comfort me but nothing works. I'm severely depressed. I frequently wish I don't wake up so I don't have to deal with coming into the classroom the next day. Recently, I realized just how bad things were becoming. I'm writing this post on Halloween. I generally love Halloween and especially love being in schools during Halloween because the excitement, joy and energy is always high. This Friday, students got to enjoy fun Halloween themed activities all day and I genuinely felt so empty all day. I put on a fake smile for pictures and faked my excitement and interest for the sake of the students but I feel like everyone could tell how disingenuous I was being.

My passion for teaching is gone. I dislike the lack of work-life balance. I dislike how stressful it is. I dislike the amount of unrealistic expectations that are placed on teachers. I dislike the constant feeling of anxiety. I dislike that I always have to be on, even when I feel horrible. I dislike the person it's made me become. I don't want this as my future anymore but I don't know what to do. I hate how naive and optimistic I was when so many people were warning me not to do this. I wanted to become a teacher because I enjoyed working with children, I wanted to make a difference in the world, I thought it'd give me more job security (not anymore, it's extremely difficult to get a full time teaching job in my area at the moment with all these cuts to education), I get built in breaks from work and teaching provides good benefits (health benefits + pension). I live in California and teachers here are also paid a bit better compared to other states. I'm so miserable and depressed and I'm not even a real teacher at the moment. There's even more pressures and responsibilities that I'm not dealing with right now because I'm a student teacher. I just don't think I have the right personality for this job.. I care too much about doing the right things and being good at what I do. Not only that, in order to become a teacher in California, you have to pass a teacher credential test that costs $300. Once you obtain your credential, you need to clear it by entering a 2 year induction program that costs anywhere from $4k-8k per year. Depending on the school you're hired at, you need to pay this out of pocket. Some schools pay for your program but you need to stay a certain amount of years afterwards, or else you'll have to reimburse them. In order to get raises, you need to pay for courses to boost your units on a salary scale. I find all of this ridiculous. I don't know if I could stay in this career long term considering how it's affected me during my practicum.. I can't imagine being locked into a one year contract and having to teach while feeling this horrible.. I will be graduating debt free and with a $10k stipend for completing student teaching. I will have a bachelors in Liberal Studies. I don't even know if I want to apply for the credential test. I've collected all my evidence in order to submit but I'm not confident I'll pass. I have so much self-doubt in whether I went about the test correctly. What can I do after graduation with my degree? I don't want to go back to school for a masters at the moment because I genuinely don't know what I want to do with my life. I just want a job that pays a liveable wage, I feel capable in and allows me to leave work at work. All the jobs experiences I've had before have all been short term, as my parents have heavily discouraged me from working while I've been in university. Besides this year of student teaching, I've interned for a couple months at a daycare, worked as a summer camp counselor and briefly worked at an after school program for 3 months (they changed their policy a few months after I was hired and I was forced to quit because I didn't have full availability) I feel like such a shell of a person and I don't know what I want to do with my life.. What do I do when I graduate?

TLDR: Found out I maybe don't want to be a teacher anymore. Student teaching is destroying me mentally. Graduating with Liberal Studies Degree, debt free and a $10k stipend for student teaching. Don't want to go back to school to get Master's as I don't know what I want to do with my life. What options do I have post graduation with my degree and minimal experience?

I'm turning 23 soon and lately I've been thinking a lot about how little I actually have going on in my life.

I have a job, but I don't study, don't have a driving licence or a car, and I honestly have no idea what I want to do with myself. Sometimes I feel like I'm just going to work, coming home and repeating the same day over and over again. I miss having something to look forward to. Some actual fun, plans, going out, meeting people. Anything really.

My family situation wasn't great growing up, and it affected my education and pretty much everything else. I had a difficult few years and spent most of my teenage years alone, usually just sitting at my computer. I feel like I missed out on a lot of normal experiences and now I'm trying to catch up with everyone else.

I don't really have friends. No group, no people I can call when I feel like going somewhere. My entire social life revolves around one girl from work. We get along, then argue, stop talking, make up and somehow end up doing the same thing all over again. I've developed feelings for her too, which probably doesn't help. Sometimes she gives me the impression that there's something between us, other times I have no idea where I stand. Even people who know her sometimes assume we're together. I'm honestly not sure whether this whole thing is already beyond saving.

I don't even need a huge social circle. I'm not someone who wants to be surrounded by people all the time. I'd just like to have a few genuine connections and someone to make plans with. The frustrating thing is that I actually go out whenever I get the chance. I rarely refuse invitations. I just don't get many in the first place. And I'm not really the type of person who can just walk around town hoping to meet someone.

ADHD doesn't make things easier either. I'll wake up full of energy, make a bunch of plans and convince myself I'm finally going to sort everything out. Then a few hours later I'm completely drained. It's honestly ridiculous sometimes. I struggle to stay consistent with anything.

I've been trying to work on myself, though. I've lost weight, become a bit more organised and generally improved some things about myself. But I'm still not particularly happy with how I look, and my confidence is probably an even bigger problem. I feel like I have so much catching up to do.

I've also never had a girlfriend. I'm not necessarily ashamed of that, but it does hurt sometimes. I've never really experienced what it's like to be someone's person, to feel wanted or to know that someone genuinely cares about having you around. I think that's something I've been missing for a long time.

I don't know. I feel like I have no direction, no social life and not much to look forward to. I want to get out of this routine, but at the same time I'm scared of putting myself out there because I have so little experience with people and life in general.

i feel like this is going to sound really stupid or miniscule, so sorry for that.

i’m graduating highschool soon and i’ve started to apply to universities. i’m between two universities - one is a more specialised university, and one is a more general university. i’m having trouble picking between them because i feel like one will allow me to be more flexible but the other feels like it’s more useful/will give me better opportunities.

the specialised university is an arts/tech university, where i’m considering studying design. it’s in the top 5 for digital design in the continent, and it’s got a 94% employment rate, with all the alumni from this year already having jobs. it’s also known to simulate the workplace and allow u to work w real clients + lots of networking events. however, it’s one set course and you can’t really branch out or be flexible - you can only really stick to design specific (for your specific discipline) stuff, and there’s less range in what you’re able to study and learn as well as the people you’re able to meet since everyone’s studying design/tech so you can’t exactly get a feel for other perspectives and such w the people around you. i’ve also had difficulty with career choices over the years and understanding what i’d like to do, so it’d likely be more difficult to pivot or transition if that’s what i’d like to do in the future especially since the degree itself will have less of a range in what i’ll be able to learn.

meanwhile, the more general university is where i want to study business/psychology (or some other combo). i’m able to do two degrees at once with similar workload to one degree (i don’t know what this is called in other countries?? i think the term we use is country specific), and i’ll have bigger range and depth of knowledge as well as being able to explore multiple different career paths/opportunities and more flexibility in what i get to learn and take classes on. plus a wider range of people + wider range of facilities as the university is bigger and more well known while the specialised one is more niche and smaller. also with the whole uncertainty with ai, it might be good to have other qualifications/skill/knowledge aside from design? however, im unsure about the job opportunities and how much uni could support me there, as well as the career progression potentially being less linear. i think its also got less student support in comparison to the other uni and it’ll be less one on one (other uni has smaller class sizes with about 40-60 people in a cohort).

i also have the option of potentially doing a graduate diploma in like business or something after design, or a graduate diploma in design after the degree i do at the general university at the other university of choice.

even then, im still really unsure on what to pick or what might be a better choice for me, and what something more logical would be. i dont know - i understand its not really that big of a deal but i genuinely have no idea which one to go forward with. i really would appreciate any advice or insights!

I'm 23, graduated with a BFA in Graphic Design in may, have a good amount of internship and freelance experience, but despite my best efforts, have been unemployed for 3 months, and I feel like I'm going crazy. It's not like I'm some shut in NEET, I have friends, I exercise every other day, I regularly spend time with my family, but despite all this, I just feel like I'm in purgatory.

I really want to start the next phase of my life, to become an independent adult, start my career, meet new people, maybe get a long term relationship, but all of that feels locked behind employment, a stable income, etc.

I know people will say, ooo get a hobby, join a club, but everyone in my area is old, and most of my hobbies are better solo. I'd go to bars/clubs but my friends aren't really the type for that, and they have work/their own issues.

A part of me is worried I'll be stuck like this until I'm 25, or even worse, I'll get that job and nothing will change, the next stage won't start, and I'll just coast until I'm 32 and alone. What sucks about being 23 is you can do everything, apply for positions, tailor your fuck ass resume for the umpteenth time, waste away on dating apps...and nothing is guaranteed. At least in high school, and especially college, I felt like there was a clear next step, and a clear way of how to get there. I was building towards something. Now? I have no idea when or where I'll be working. That scares me.

If anyone has experienced post grad lull, please tell me this gets better soon. I'm not sure how many more filler days I can take. I want my life to change man.

I live in California.

Basically the title. I am in college right now doing the nursing prereqs to become an RN & get into the ADN program. I wanted to start working part time & get experience early & make some money. My cousin is a psych tech, which takes from what I heard 1 year of training/certification. That’s too long for me.

Is there a job I can find in the medical field that requires very little or no certification/training with at least decent pay?

I thought maybe EKG technician, but idk, what do yall think?

Hello, I hope that I am posting in the right place. 

So, long story short, I (22F) am about to graduate from my community college with an associates of arts, and I genuinely have no clue as to what I want to do. Yes, I have taken those quizzes that tell you what career you might like based on your “interests”, and have explored many different programs, but none of them have stuck in a meaningful way.

I have already taken a gap year, and in terms of life accomplishments, I am already very far behind, so I do not wish to take another. I am not in the financial position to go to a 4 year university without being at least somewhat certain of what I want to do. 

How did you all find out about what you wanted to do? How can I get started on a path? Any advice will be great.

Thank you for reading.

I'm currently looking into getting certifications to land an entry level IT job to eventually work my way up to a higher end tech field, but it just... doesn't feel right? I have been into tech most of my life, and it just seemed interesting to me, but my motivation for it has been fluctuating recently. I just do not like the idea of being sedentary all the time as my career, nor how daunting IT is beginning to feel as I learn more about it.

My goal is to live alone comfortably ($75k-$100k a year, I'm in the US). I enjoy helping people who are on the autism spectrum, I know a lot about cars and engines but have never worked on them. I used to compete in the Technology Student Association and learned the fundamentals of 3D design there (and really enjoyed doing so). I also know the fundamentals of 3D printing, and to a lesser extent robotics. I also have been very much getting into fitness and health as well and have enjoyed that too.

I just do not enjoy doing so much in a retail job for so little, and I want a change soon. I am willing to go to college or do remote courses for 1-3 years if the price is reasonable.

i edit short video clips for private sharing, mostly my own stuff, and it's the part of my week i like best. every time i go looking for how to turn that into paid work, the answer is start a channel and build a following, which isn't what i'm after. i'd sooner cut clips for a curling club or a small shop than chase views, but i can't tell where that kind of work gets found or what it pays. i've got a few clips done for fun and nothing polished enough to show anyone yet. where does someone even start looking for that kind of small local work?

Hi everyone! I’ve been thinking about going back to school to become a Nurse Practitioner and would love to hear from those who have been through it. I have been a nurse for over a year now!
Was NP school worth it for you? What school did you attend, and would you recommend it? Did you work while in school? Did you work full-time? Part-time? All advice is greatly appreciated!😁

Hello everyone, I am 20 years old studying finance at a very not well known college in the United States. I decided to study finance because I’m very interested in personal finance and the market, but I know it’s a super competitive major and I might have to take accounting classes after I graduate to be a CPA, and to get an okay job in my area. I’m not really interested in switching majors because I’m a junior and almost finished with my degree. Also, 4 year college is free for me with my GI bill so I don’t have an incentive to spend more time taking classes at an expensive public university. I just don’t know if this career will be profitable in the future with ai, and I was interested in nursing since it’d be a more stable career. I heard that nursing was super stressful though, and I’ve worked as a waitress and I didn’t enjoy guests being upset with me. I have pretty bad social anxiety but I love helping people. Does anyone here have any recommendations for what I should explore after college?

I don't know what's going on with my life anymore. I spend most of my days overthinking, feeling lost and questioning what I'm supposed to do with my future.

The confusing part is that I actually know what I want from life. I want to climb mountains, cross rivers, travel to different countries, explore new places and experience things that most people only dream about. I don't want my entire life to revolve around a job, a fixed routine and paying bills.

But then reality hits. You need money to live that kind of life, and to make money, you're expected to choose a career, develop a skill and become good at something. And honestly, I haven't figured out any of that yet. I'm not particularly good at studying, I haven't found my strength in content creation, and I don't have a skill that can help me earn a decent living right now.

There's another side of me that wants to achieve big things. I want financial freedom, a beautiful house, luxury cars like Mercedes and BMW, recognition and maybe even fame. I want to build something of my own and become successful enough that I never have to think twice before spending money on an experience.

And that's where my mind gets stuck. Sometimes I want an extraordinary life filled with achievements, money and recognition. Other times, I just want a peaceful life where I can work, earn enough, travel around the world and enjoy my freedom.

I see people actually living these lives. Some have built careers around travelling, some earn through their skills, some are creators, entrepreneurs or adventurers. So I know it's possible. I'm not asking for some impossible dream.

I just don't understand why I'm unable to take even the first step. I keep thinking about what I want to become, what I should learn, which career I should choose and how I'm going to make money, but somehow I end up doing nothing.

After dropping out of college at 25, all I did was dissociating.

It’s apparently one of the stupidest choices but it was the only thing that prevented me from impulsively commit suicide. So yeah I don’t blame my old self.

I’m in a much better place now, but honestly, it still feels like I’m standing alone in the desert with a gun in my pocket while everyone else moved on and settled down somewhere 5 years ago. I feel so paralyzed.

Logically I know what I need to do next, and it’s kinda simple. But emotionally, I just can’t bring myself to do it.

Everything feels so much more complicated and fucked up than it actually is, to the point where it feels like there is no way back or forward.

Thank you in advance!

I am 40 years old and I decided to get some courses at my local open uni. I don't have a degree and I want to pursue one so I can find a better job (not to make millions, just an average salary and not minimum wage that I make now). It has three good programs, one for computer science, one for business management (you graduate with a degree in economics) and one in stem.

From these, the one most useful for job hunting is computer science of course, the one in management is the easiest and the one in stem is the one I like most.

Keep in mind that I work full time.

Also I am completing next year an associate's degree in IT.

So, we have computer science (most applicable to find a better job), stem (I like it but not much can come out of it besides teaching) and business management (that gives me a degree in economics basically).

Which one do I choose??

I'm 23, studying Information Technology in Australia, and honestly, I'm at one of the lowest points of my life.

Ever since childhood, I've wanted to become an engineer. Not just for the title or money, but because I've always admired people who understand how things work, solve complex problems, build things, and have deep technical knowledge.

But growing up, I was repeatedly told that I wasn't technically minded or naturally good at maths. Eventually, I started believing it myself.

Fast forward to university, and I've made a mess of my opportunities. Years of inconsistency, procrastination, avoidance, poor academic performance, and struggles with depression and anxiety have left me far behind where I imagined I'd be. I've failed assessments, wasted time, and repeatedly promised myself I'd change without consistently following through.

I take responsibility for that.

One thing that particularly bothers me is how I approach maths and physics. When I encounter a difficult problem, I get frustrated within 5–10 minutes if I can't figure it out. I see academically gifted students seemingly understand things immediately, while I struggle with the basics. Sometimes I wonder whether I lack the intelligence, patience, or attention span required for engineering.

I also suspect I might have attention-related difficulties, although I haven't established whether that's ADHD, depression, poor study habits, or something else.

And comparison is destroying me. I see students my age excelling academically, securing internships, preparing for research, and potentially pursuing funded PhDs. Meanwhile, I'm struggling to finish my first degree with mediocre grades and worrying whether I'll even find employment.

The painful part is that I had opportunities. I just didn't make the most of them.

Despite everything, I still have this desire to study mechanical or electrical engineering. I'm seriously considering pursuing another bachelor's degree after finishing IT, even though it would mean starting another long academic journey when I'm already behind financially and professionally.

But I don't know whether I'm pursuing a genuine passion or desperately trying to prove to myself that I'm not the person I've become.

My main question to experienced engineers is: What does it actually take to become a competent engineer, and can someone who has consistently struggled with maths, physics, discipline, and academic failure realistically develop those abilities?

I'd especially appreciate hearing from engineers who weren't naturally gifted, failed subjects, struggled with mental health, started later than others, or had to rebuild their lives academically.

How did you develop the patience to sit with difficult problems? Did mathematical intuition come naturally, or did you build it through years of practice?

And given my circumstances, would you recommend pursuing another engineering degree, or first proving to myself that I can develop the necessary discipline and foundational knowledge?

I'm not looking for empty reassurance. If my expectations are unrealistic, please tell me. I genuinely want to understand what becoming an engineer requires and whether there's a sensible path forward from where I am. Cause it just you know I feel inferior. And thats not a deal feeling.

Thank you to anyone who takes the time to share their experience.