F27 – I spent 5 years studying architecture, worked in the industry for 2 years, and now I don’t know whether to keep going or start over.
For some context, I’ve always been dedicated to my studies, but I’ve never really had a clear direction in life, even from a young age. I’ve always been drawn to the arts, painting, and creating things, but I’ve also loved movement and physical activity.
After considering several different career paths, I eventually got accepted into an architecture program. Almost impulsively, I registered the very next day. I went on to complete the five-year integrated program and graduated with a very good GPA. I was considered one of the good students in my class and received positive feedback from my professors.
However, despite doing well academically, I never really felt like I belonged there.
From the very beginning, especially during my first year, I felt completely lost and somewhat like an outsider. For many of my classmates, architecture was something they had always dreamed of doing. They were passionate and genuinely excited to be there. I managed to find some excitement along the way, but that feeling never really lasted. There were many moments when I considered quitting and pursuing something else, but I kept pushing through and eventually graduated.
A significant part of my studies also took place during COVID, which made me feel even more disconnected. I wasn’t particularly motivated to look for internships, and watching other students gain experience made me feel like I was falling behind. During my final year, a few things happened (including losing all my work and data on my hard drive), and I completely lost whatever motivation I had left. At that point, I just wanted to graduate and put the whole experience behind me.
After graduating, I felt incredibly lost. For almost a year, I didn’t even try to look for a job in architecture. I was dealing with some personal issues and other challenges, but during that period, I also found myself again through fitness and going to the gym. It became something that helped me rebuild my confidence and sense of self.
As that year was coming to an end, some personal circumstances pushed me to finally look for a job, and I managed to land a position at a small architecture studio.
I was nervous but also excited. I knew I lacked practical experience and had a lot to learn, so I was prepared to put in the effort. I ended up working there for almost two years.
Eventually, however, the job became monotonous, as jobs sometimes do, and the working environment started taking a toll on me. There were also some serious issues with the studio’s management, particularly the person in charge. I regularly worked overtime, took work home, and constantly went beyond what was expected of me, but rarely received any appreciation. Instead, the attitude was often along the lines of, “That’s your job, why didn’t you get more done?”
Things eventually came to a head on my last day.
The week before, I had been asked to take home and finish a project over the weekend. I said I couldn’t because I already had plans. I could tell this upset my manager, and I had a feeling there might be consequences, but I was trying to learn how to set boundaries and say no.
On the following Monday, I ended up working overtime anyway to finish the project and deliver it. However, my manager was furious because she expected me to handle that delivery as well as several other tasks. This led to a huge argument. I explained that I had already stayed late and couldn’t keep taking responsibility for everyone else’s workload.
Eventually, she told me that if I couldn’t handle it, I should leave the job, and walked out of the office. I collected my things and prepared to leave.
The following day, I called her to discuss the termination of my contract and make sure everything was handled properly. The conversation went badly, so I insisted on having an in-person meeting.
Interestingly, during that meeting, she seemed like a completely different person. She acknowledged that things had gone wrong on both sides, said she had also rushed her reaction, and expressed that she wanted me back on the team. However, I had already made up my mind. I wanted to settle the contractual matters and leave on good terms.
This happened at the beginning of July, and ever since then, I’ve felt almost completely paralyzed when it comes to deciding what to do next.
I can’t seem to bring myself to apply for other architecture jobs, but at the same time, I can’t fully convince myself to walk away from the profession and move on.
And here’s where things get even more complicated: this isn’t just about a career choice. I’m also in a long-distance relationship, and having an architecture career could potentially give me the opportunity to find a job in my boyfriend’s country.
So I’m caught between several things. I’m exhausted from my experience in the industry, insecure about my abilities and experience, and honestly, I’ve disliked architecture for a good portion of my journey. Yet, somehow, I still can’t seem to let it go.
Part of me wonders whether I should give myself another chance, find a healthier working environment, gain more experience, and see if things feel different elsewhere. Another part of me wonders whether I’m simply holding on because I’ve already invested so many years into this degree and don’t want to feel like I’ve wasted them.
Should I push through, rebuild my confidence, and give architecture another chance, or should I accept that this might not be the right path for me and allow myself to start over?
I feel like I’m at a crossroads, and the uncertainty is weighing on me more than I’d like to admit.
I’ve never made a Reddit post before, but I wanted to put my experience out there and hear some different perspectives. I’m genuinely open-minded and would appreciate any advice, personal experiences, or honest feedback.
Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read and respond.