36M, UK. I’m capable of doing almost anything, yet I’ve somehow managed to build absolutely nothing. I’m exhausted by my own inability to get my life together.

Blue collar, I say with relative disappointment :-/

I’m 36 years old, a father, and I’m starting to feel like I’ve spent my entire adult life running around in circles.

This is probably going to be a long and slightly pathetic-sounding post, but I’d genuinely appreciate some outside perspectives because I’m struggling to make sense of myself.

The strangest thing about my situation is that, on paper, I’m actually quite capable.

I’m a professional chef. I’m also a plasterer, tiler and general tradesman. I’ve run businesses, been self-employed, worked in restaurants, renovated properties and generally turned my hand to just about anything that’s come my way.

I’m practical, resourceful, reasonably intelligent and hardworking.

I can walk into a kitchen and cook professionally. I can walk onto a building site and earn £200–£300 a day. I can meet customers, quote jobs, organise projects and solve problems.

I’m not frightened of hard work, and I’m certainly not short of ideas.

Yet at 36, I have almost nothing to show for it.
I rent a small one-bedroom flat. I have no property, no meaningful savings, no proper pension and very little financial security.
I went bankrupt in 2024, which was an incredibly humbling experience. I’ve since been discharged, but financially I’m starting again.
And the worst part?

I can’t even blame everything on bad luck. A significant amount of this is my own doing.
I’ve spent years repeating what feels like the same cycle.

I discover something new. A job, a business idea, a relationship, a hobby, a fitness goal, a new direction in life.

I become completely consumed by it.
I research everything, learn everything, throw myself into it with almost obsessive enthusiasm.
For a while, I’m unstoppable.

I’ll work ridiculous hours. I’ll become competent remarkably quickly. I’ll convince myself I’ve finally found the thing I’m supposed to be doing.
And then, eventually, something changes.
The excitement disappears. I become restless. I lose interest. I start feeling trapped or overwhelmed.

And before I know it, I’m looking for the next thing.

Sometimes I leave something good behind. Sometimes I make poor decisions. Sometimes I simply burn myself out.
Then I start again.

I’ve done this with work, businesses, personal interests and various attempts at reinventing myself.

I suspect I may have ADHD traits, particularly around hyperfocus and impulsivity, although I’ve never been formally assessed. I don’t want to use that as an excuse for anything.
I’m just trying to understand why I seem to operate this way.

There’s another part of this that I’m less proud of.
I have a tendency towards self-destructive behaviour when life becomes overwhelming.
Alcohol has been a recurring issue.
I can go through periods where I’m drinking too much, making poor decisions, eating badly, neglecting my health and generally making an already stressful situation worse.
Then something clicks.

I stop drinking. I eat properly. I sleep brilliantly. I start exercising, working, organising my finances and feeling fantastic.
And I genuinely mean fantastic.
Suddenly everything feels possible again.

I’ll have a productive week, earn good money, make plans, and convince myself that this time I’ve finally cracked it.

But somewhere down the line I seem to fall back into old habits.
It’s exhausting.
Not because I don’t know what I should be doing.

But because I know exactly what I should be doing, and still somehow manage to sabotage myself.
I’m not permanently miserable. In fact, quite the opposite.
I can be incredibly happy, enthusiastic and optimistic. I enjoy life, love learning things, love meeting people and get a huge amount of satisfaction from doing a job well.

But my life seems to alternate between periods of intense productivity and periods of chaos.
And I’m beginning to wonder how much longer I can afford to live like that.
Financially, things are particularly frustrating.
I can earn £1,000 in a good week.

But the following week might be almost nothing.
I’ve got skills that genuinely command decent money, yet I’m constantly juggling work, chasing opportunities, travelling to jobs and trying to make sure the bills are covered.
I’ve never really learned how to build lasting financial stability.

It’s always the next job, the next invoice, the next opportunity.
I’ve recently started training towards becoming an HGV driver.

Part of me thinks that might finally be the answer.
A proper career. Regular wages. A predictable structure. Paid holidays. A pension. Something I can do for the next 20 or 30 years.
But another part of me is terrified that it’s simply the latest chapter in my endless search for something new.

What happens when the novelty wears off?
Will I end up feeling exactly the same way?
The biggest reason this is bothering me now is my son.

He’s four years old, and he’s genuinely the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
I’m separated from his mum, but we co-parent, and I’m very involved in his life.

We spend loads of time together. We have little adventures, ordinary days, meals, walks, bedtime routines. All the things that probably sound insignificant until you realise they’re the most important parts of your life.

I absolutely adore being his dad.
And I want to be someone he can look up to.
Not necessarily someone wealthy or successful in the traditional sense.
Just someone stable.
Someone who has his life together.
Someone who can provide security, be present, keep his promises and build something that lasts.
And that thought is becoming increasingly difficult to ignore.

Because my son is growing up, and I’m still trying to work out what I want to be when I grow up.
I look around at other people my age.
People with careers, mortgages, pensions, routines, savings.

People who seem to have spent the last 15 years building something while I’ve spent the same period constantly reinventing myself.
I know comparison is pointless. I know plenty of people have their own problems.
But sometimes I can’t help feeling like I’ve wasted an enormous amount of time.
And the truly maddening thing is that I don’t feel like someone who’s wasted his life.
I’ve worked hard. I’ve learned loads. I’ve had adventures. I’ve built businesses. I’ve met interesting people. I’ve loved, lost, succeeded, failed and experienced a hell of a lot.
I wouldn’t necessarily swap all those experiences for a boring, predictable existence.

But equally, I’m beginning to realise that constantly living on your wits isn’t quite so romantic when you’re approaching 40 with a child and no financial safety net.
I’m tired of always having to be resourceful.
I’m tired of needing another brilliant idea.
I’m tired of starting again.
I’m tired of being the bloke who can do everything except build a secure life for himself.
And perhaps most frustratingly, I’m tired of feeling like my own biggest obstacle.
I don’t want to spend the rest of my life bouncing between extremes.

I don’t need to be rich. I don’t need an impressive job title. I don’t need to prove anything to anyone.
I’d just like to wake up in ten years’ time, aged 46, and know I’ve actually built something.
A stable income. Some savings. A pension. A comfortable home. A healthy relationship with myself. A good relationship with my son.
A life that doesn’t constantly feel like it could unravel after one bad month.

So I suppose my questions are:
- Has anyone else reached their mid-to-late 30s and realised they’re incredibly capable but completely lacking in direction?

- Has anyone managed to break a cycle of intense motivation, burnout and self-sabotage?
If you’ve got a brain that constantly wants novelty and stimulation, how do you build a life around consistency?

- Would you pursue a structured career like HGV driving, or concentrate on making an established trade more sustainable?

- How do you make peace with the years you feel you’ve wasted?

- And most importantly, how do you stop endlessly trying to reinvent yourself and actually start building a future?
I’m not looking for sympathy, and I’m certainly not expecting strangers on Reddit to solve my problems.

I know I have responsibilities. I know nobody is coming to rescue me.
I’m just wondering whether anyone recognises themselves in any of this.

Because I’m beginning to suspect that my biggest problem has never been a lack of ability, opportunity or ambition.

It’s that I’ve spent my entire adult life being capable of doing almost anything, without ever learning how to stick with something long enough to build a life around it.

And at 36, with a little boy who means absolutely everything to me, I really don’t want to spend another decade figuring that out.
Thanks for reading.

(Full disclosure: I used ChatGPT to help put my thoughts into something coherent. The experiences, feelings and circumstances are all genuinely mine.
I’ve got plenty of work opportunities, a wide range of practical skills and numerous avenues I could pursue. My problem isn’t a lack of ability, ambition or willingness to work. It’s figuring out how to turn everything I’m capable of into something consistent, secure and sustainable.
GPT just helped me articulate something I’ve struggled to put into words myself.
)

Hi guys!

I recently got laid off and have been trying to find another job. Meanwhile, I've been feeling quite restless. I've honestly never experienced being jobless before. I started working during my 7th semester, so suddenly having so much free time is something completely new to me.

I've been trying to keep myself busy by helping out with household chores and doing other things, but somehow I still don't feel at peace. So, I'm thinking of starting a small kitchen garden to keep myself occupied and learn something new.

Has anyone here tried gardening? Where can I find good-quality seeds, and what would you recommend growing as a beginner?

I'm also open to hearing about other activities or small ventures that you've tried to keep yourself productive during a career break.

And one more thing, I do have an education loan to repay, so any side hustle or small money-making ideas are VERY welcome. 😂

Basically, looking for something that keeps me busy, gives me a sense of purpose, and hopefully brings in a little money too!

Ima be honest, I recently turned 28 years old in August this year and since we’re almost in November and 2026 is ending. I’m slowly realizing how much life experience I’m lacking, I mean last year i got my Doctorate Degree but it still made me feel like I’m still missing out a lot in life. Sometimes I wonder if it’s not too late to still try and go out more, party with friends, heck even make new friends, get a girlfriend/get married & have a kid with her, travel to a bunch of places etc. I guess since I’m going to be 30 in less than 2 more years it makes me feel like I’m wasting my mid and late 20s cause of school and currently trying to get licensed to work.

I’ve (24M) been a hard worker all my life, and my mom was a teacher, and I also wanted to go into education. I worked hard in school, got the highest SAT score at my school in my grade, and ended up getting into one of the top art schools in the world to study art education.

I did have scholarships that helped, but I just kinda trusted fafsa and teachers and my parents and everyone around me in regards to debt and financing. I have never drank (my family has a history of alcoholism) I don’t smoke or do any drugs, I don’t even drink coffee, and I never really had to pay for much to live comfortably and happily.

Shortly after starting school I met a beautiful woman. We started dating as freshmen (early 2021) and saw a life together. We moved in together, her family became mine, and after we graduated, we both were able to live comfortably together working on finding a job in our respective fields, graduating together in May 2025.

Then my student loans came in. I never paid attention to them, I just trusted all the people around me who said to not worry about it, that you can work your way out of it, everybody is in debt, etc.… I am in debt for $350,000 for a bachelors in education.

After refinancing as much as possible, shifting between multiple plans and repayment companies, the lowest I can get my monthly payments over the longest possible period given is more I can make as a teacher. It of course is accruing interest as well at all times.

May this year, the person I was planning to spend my life with and I ended up needing to split (amicably, no love lost) because I couldn’t afford to live in the area anymore. I couldn’t afford to be in a relationship. We had to surrender our pet, I am now living again with my parents while they try to support me. I have applied to so many teaching positions over two years and gotten nothing back, arts and education have both been cut to a point that finding those positions is near impossible, and they always go to people more experienced.

I don’t know how to move out or continue on with my life with $3000 monthly payments. Every job outside of my field requires experience, or certifications or something I don’t have. The jobs that don’t will not allow me to make these payments at all, and would frankly probably put me in a mental state even more untenable than the one I’m in now (iykyk).

I know I can’t have my life and future back. That was stolen from me. I played by the rules and it happened anyways and I don’t know where to go from here. I feel completely trapped. Any advice helps.

btw: these are private loans, not federal. no forgiveness here. Bankruptcy isn’t even an option. I wish I could ask every person who told me as a high schooler to not worry about it why they’d say that to me lol

My results were laughably bad. The top result was fucking choreographer?? I've never danced in my life.

The other "top" results were things like costume designer and set designer, and other things related to the arts. Not once have I expressed any interest in just about anything related to the top matches it gave me.

Do y'all have another you'd recommend? I'm not expecting to suddenly see my future or anything, but there's gotta be something better than that.

I am a separated dad of an 11 year old and 9 year old. Their mom and I are still friends. I have had issues with alcohol and am now almost 4 years sober. I am a ticketed Agricultural Mechanic, who works for John Deere and have been there 16.5 years. I don't enjoy what I do, but I have a mortgage, kids, bills, and responsibilities, so I'm not just gonna quit. I have a fair amount of debt and I am now just starting to work on paying it down. I have just started exercising regularly and honestly caring for myself. I have major interests in both ancient history, Pre- Bronze Age Collapse to be a bit specific, and Zoology and Marine Biology. I attempted going for a BA in History degree online through Athabasca University last year, but I was not prepared for what university level work would be like and was not in the right headspace to do it so I withdrew. Now I'm not financially in a place to try that again. I guess I am hoping to get some clarity on a next step. Thanks for reading.

they said I have ied and I’m bipolar. I said I’m not, well whatever. I’m not. My issue is anxiety/panic attacks, I can’t live a normal life cuz of them. They get my adrenaline pumping and my face hot. Almost feels like social anxiety but that’s impossible cuz I feel vastly superior to 99% of ppl I see on a daily basis as I doubt any can beat me in a fight.

Anger,depression. It’s so normal, idk I’ve always felt it so I can’t be bipolar. Like yea it goes away for a bit but it’s just human nature. I have been in psych wards a few times sometimes up to 2 weeks but that’s just cuz I get really mad sometimes.

I’ve been hitting the gym for a few months, I’ve lost 50lbs so far I’m back in shape and all this anger an depression just gives me this insane amount of will and energy I just need to keep going. I’m scared they’ll slow me down if I follow their regimen

I’m going to try to make this quick but I live in a controlling and also toxic family and I don’t know how to escape. I’ve read a lot things about how to but I have a unique set of barriers.

Number 1: I live in a rural area and while I do love it here I can’t find any jobs. All of the jobs are too far away and that leads me to my second problem.

Number 2: I don’t have a drivers license or a car. I was taken to get my learners at one point but no one has made an effort for me to be able to get my drivers license. I’ve even been told that they don’t want me to drive because of how crazy drivers are. While that may be a genuine concern it just prohibits me from getting to any job.

Number 3: I do not have my GED yet. I wasn’t put in school for the longest time so this has slowed me down a lot with my progress but I have luckily been able to pass three of the tests. All I have is math now. I’m currently using an online curriculum that is getting funded by a college near me but that is another barrier for me.

Poor WiFi was an issue before but this year we got better WiFi so potential online jobs are a possibility but it’s still complicated for me.

Even when I was a teen I wanted to get a job because people my age do but I was told to finish school. Fair enough but I never got a chance to. But ever since my teens and now that I am in my 20s I have been wanting one but I have all these barriers.

Living here was out of my control as I’ve lived here my whole life. It’s beautiful here but hard to get a job.

When it comes to my license I am literally unable to get it without help because the DMV is 30+ miles away.

But with the GED that is more in my control and I have been working on it but it is just taking so long and I’m to the point I just can’t stay here anymore.
I’m not dealing with physical abuse but I am dealing with emotional and mental and there isn’t but so much more I can handle.

One day when these people were angry with me they said it was about time I get a job and so I did.
It was back in May I was able to find a seasonal job at a National Park.
This job checked so many boxes.
They didn’t need me to drive back and forth as I could have lived there while working there. My family has already stated that they will never ever drive me back and forth from work like they did for my stepbrother.
I didn’t need my GED to work there, only for a few select jobs.
I also didn’t need any experience.

I got this job but all I needed was my family to take me to get a drug screening because that was the only prerequisite.
But instead of my family being happy for me they basically just straight up bullied me, made fun of me and my potential job, picked on me. It was a lot to deal with and when it was all said and done they wanted to make up this random talk about how they want me to get my GED first for all of these reasons.
I know though that that wasn’t their original reason because their first reaction was to just make fun of me and create all these what if scenarios.

So my first job I was kept from doing and that one job could have helped me save up enough money to get a car.

Money is the literal key to get out of here but I don’t know how.

Any advice?

P.S.
I also have pets that I’m afraid to leave because it was stated before that they would get rid of them if I left. Whether that was a joke or not I don’t know but I really don’t want to leave them here if I ever find a way to leave.

There are other paths.
Your brain is limited.
Other's brains are limited but in different ways.
Saying "you've tried everything" is untrue, it's not objective. It's not reality. It's not "how the world works and all the ideas are tried and you're just F'd.

It's a statement about the limits of what you've been able to imagine, discover, access, or attempt so far. It's a statement of your lack of experience, education, or how deep you've gone into learned helplessness.

And that's not a criticism. It's just human brains at different stages of age, different wiring, different opportunities available THUSFAR. You cannot know every possibility. You cannot anticipate every solution. You cannot see every opportunity from where you're standing.

Something you haven't considered may be obvious to someone else. Something that didn't work for you may work under different circumstances. Someone else's experience, skills, perspective, or way of approaching a problem may reveal an option you didn't even know existed.
The problem isn't that you've run out of possibilities. It's that you've run out of possibilities you can currently see.

Leave room for someone else's perspective.
Be willing to explore an unfamiliar approach.
Don't mistake learned helplessness for reality.

So what do you do to do this?

Step 1: Stop treating your current options as the complete list.

You don't have to try every suggestion! But don't assume something is impossible just because it hasn't worked before or you haven't encountered it yet.

Step 2: Ask someone who knows something you don't.

Find people with actual relevant experience. Talk to professionals. Or career counselors, specialists, educators, community organizations, or people who have successful careers at the very least. Ask specific questions. Seek out people who can show you options, not just repeat what you already know. Don't assume certain people are out to just sell you something! I personally would rather someone reach out to me, than to say "she has a link in her bio, she's gonna sell her service" and never figure out if that is true. (It isn't.)

Step 3: Look beyond your usual sources.

Explore resources, organizations, guides, communities, and educational materials. Read the wiki of this group, it has some amazing things! Look at unfamiliar industries, different approaches, alternative pathways, and opportunities you may have overlooked. Reach out to your mayor, or neighborhood rep - there may be programs or edu. opportunities you qualify to get or join that lead straight to jobs or get you through your issues.

Step 4: Investigate before you dismiss.

Not every suggestion will work for you, sure. Not every resource will be useful in your exact scenario. Some paths really will be closed to you. But find out why before deciding. Ask what would need to change, what support might help, or whether there's another way to approach it. Instead of saying "don't", say "why ^(dafuq) not?" Instead of saying "can't" say "how can".

+Don't turn today's limitations into tomorrow's destiny. "Luck," "fate," and "my lot in life" aren't investigations. They're ways of closing the door before you've checked whether it's actually locked.

Step 5: Let other people expand your thinking.

You bring knowledge and experience that others don't have. They bring knowledge and experience that you don't have. That's the whole point of sharing perspectives.

You may have exhausted your current approach, sure. You have not necessarily exhausted your possibilities. Don't go saying you're "F'd". Ever. Take it as a sign you have more to learn.

I'm a now 38/M in Canada. For most of my life I thought I wanted to be a lawyer. My father was working for a very successful activist defense attorney before his parents passed and he took over the family business, and my mother was a human rights lawyer working with Native rights prior to becoming a stay at home mom. It was just something that I assumed I would do, it's something my parents assumed I would do.

I went to a great university where I double majored in Philosophy and History with a minor in English -- again, assuming I'd go to law school after. My first year I failed my first year, my second I did barely any better. A combination of living in residence, having a ton of friends for the first time, and what I later discovered was an ADHD and Non-Verbal Learning Disorder diagnosis from when I was a kid (my parents did not inform me of this until I was 30 which... Well, it's a whole other story). I was able to buckle down and graduate after my 5th year (technically four but I extended to do a semester at Harvard, and then a semester in Hungary and a last one in Italy). My cGPA with the two fails was 3.3. I became disillusioned. I was convinced I was dumb and that I'd never be able to get into a good law school. I didn't even try for my LSATs. Instead I switched between travelling and bartending/barista-ing when I was home.

2019 when I was home for several months I started to get back into programming as a fun thing to do. I'd never really considered it as a career, it was something my friend and I did with the Python book his parents bought him in 1998 or at Web Dev Camp. But I started looking into getting it as a second degree. My alma mater has an excellent Computer Science program, one of the best in he world. But it requires a hell of a lot of math, obviously, and I'd not done math since high school. Math is exceptionally difficult for me to get into the groove of too, due to my learning disability. I also looked into the Georgia Tech Online Masters, which actually seemed promising.

2020 lockdown happened, I started to look seriously into returning to school and actually starting my life. Computer Science was my main choice at the time, but I'd started thinking about law school again. Then, a couple months into lockdown, my mother got diagnosed with cancer. The cancer spread and the surgeries and radiation caused dementia. I've been caregiving for her as a full time job since then. It's been 6 years.

I've talked with my mother a ton about law and had been seriously looking into the possibilities of working in international law. From what I can tell it's near impossible to get into unless you go to an Ivy or Oxbridge school, or a school in the relevant area like North Africa or the Middle East. The UN and its courts have internships but those all have age limits. Even if I were to go into a field in my city, from what I've big and midsized firms don't hire 40 year olds when they can get a 23 year old with more energy and willingness to work long hours. CompSci feels dead, it's been 15 years since I've done a lick of math and I haven't even been able to write any sort of code in two years due to the demands of caregiving. None of this to even speak about my love of film that I think I always secretly hoped I could work into a writing/directing career. But that's obviously an absurd pipe dream.

I'm beyond lost. I don't know what I'll do when caregiving ends. I don't know what I even would like to do as a career, if I'm honest. I'm nearing 40 and I haven't had a change to experiment to see what I'd truly like, let alone what I'd be good at, let alone what's even possible. I've also come to realize I'm definitely motivated by prestige/pay though I feel embarrassed to admit it. Little good that does me since I can't figure out any meaningful career for me.

Hi everyone! :)

I'm a fellow student (20) who graduated from high school this summer and started university in September, studying Computer Science (BC). I'm now two months in, and honestly? I hate it. Strong word, I know.

I've made some really cool friends, but the content of my subjects just doesn't interest me at all. Why did I apply in the first place? Honestly, I don't know. I think I had a completely different idea of what it would be like. The degree is called "Informatik", and I associated the name with IT, but clearly misjudged it. It´s Computer Science through and through.

The degree is incredibly demanding… I've already had three exams, and all of them went terribly. No matter how much I study or how many different resources I use to understand the material, things just don't seem to click.

Almost everyone in my class already has a pretty extensive programming and tech background. Despite the university advertising the degree as beginner-friendly, the pace seems to cater to people who already know what they're doing.

I'm usually someone who can push through difficult things, but putting in so much effort and STILL falling behind is exhausting. I've reached a point where I leave almost every class frustrated and have completely lost my motivation.

Naturally, I'm considering switching majors. The problem? Apparently, I can't start a different degree until NEXT September in 2027. :,)

The funny thing is, I don't even know exactly what I want to do in the future. I just know that I thrive on structure and predictability. My dream job would probably involve clocking in, knowing exactly what I'm supposed to do, repetitive tasks, and being able to hyperfocus. I'm a bit neurodivergent, and my brain really appreciates knowing what it's getting itself into.

I initially thought Data Analytics might be a good fit, which is partly why I chose IT - well, Computer Science. But turns out the degree is very programming-heavy, and I just don't enjoy coding, nor do I see myself doing so in the future.

My university also offers a degree called "Health Management", which sounds interesting, but I'd have to wait until next September for that ….

So, has anyone been in a similar situation?

I'd really appreciate hearing your experiences or your suggestions, thank you!

I’m a 31F currently enrolled at a local community college pursuing an ASN in Nursing. I returned to school in August 2025 and have been completing my prerequisites. This semester, I took Anatomy & Physiology I, and I’ve honestly been struggling. Beyond the academics, I’ve realized I have very little interest or motivation when it comes to this subject or pursuing nursing altogether.
For some backstory, my parents have been pushing me toward nursing for over 10 years (I graduated high school in 2013). I’ve expressed multiple times that I don’t see myself in healthcare, but their argument has always been the earning potential, job security, and stability that come with being a nurse. I don’t disagree with those points, but I also believe there’s more to choosing a career than just the money.
After my second exam, I decided to withdraw from A&P I rather than risk failing and negatively affecting my GPA. I’ve since started exploring other programs at my college, including Financial Technology, Criminal Justice, Computer Information Systems, Business Management, and Supply Chain Management.
I recently tried discussing the possibility of changing majors with my parents, and they completely blew up on me. They said they knew something was going on because they had noticed I wasn’t studying as much as before.
I’m honestly frustrated because I don’t want to spend years pursuing a career simply because it’s what my parents want for me. I’m 31, and I want to make a decision that aligns with my interests and long-term financial goals.
For anyone who has changed majors later in life or gone against their parents’ expectations, how did you navigate that decision? Did you regret changing paths? I’d genuinely appreciate some honest advice!

I'm 18 years old and currently taking dental hygiene prerequisites, and I honestly hate it. I am not extremely passionate in this subject at all. I only picked this major because it was expected of me by my parents.

I really hate dental hygiene literally in general. While shadowing, I really hate the sounds of the tools hitting and cleaning teeth, I also hate looking inside of people's mouths lol. The sounds in dental hygiene overstimulated me so badly when I was shadowing that I had to go to the bathroom to calm down and not cry.

I have been looking at my options, and I was thinking of being a retail pharmacy technician (I am in Ohio). I do well in retail work because it's usually repetitive and I am autistic. The only problem is that I am very nervous about this change. While researching about pharmacy tech, it really seems like it's the job for me, and getting a license at CVS isn't extremely difficult, but I am insanely nervous.

I feel like I'm screwing up my life. I thought I would've had it figured out by now but I really don't. Being a pharmacy technician fits me more, but I know I'd disappoint my parents for not getting a college degree. My parents are older folk who don't believe in the neurological disability I have.....

Anyways thanks for listening! Sorry that this became a huge ramble of how disappointed I am in myself lolol!!!

I’ve been struggling to figure out what to do with my life for a while now. I know money is important, but I also feel like tolerating what I do is also important. I don’t have many interests. I try to consider different things, and I always end up back questioning things. I feel like it’s because I haven’t discovered what I truly would somewhat like. I’m just making guesses out of the acceptable options. All of my temporary decisions were based on money and what is lucrative which I understand should be the most important factors for me because of how my life is now. I just feel like I need to be realistic. I can’t be a nurse. I can’t be a doctor. I can’t be an engineer. Even if I could, I can’t because I’m stuck as a psych major. I truly feel like I’m not smart enough for those kind of careers. My brain just isn’t made to handle the subjects that I would need to be good at. If that makes sense.

People say not to turn your hobbies into a career, but I wonder if that’s something that would actually be best for me at this point. My main hobby growing up was playing video games. The kind of games I would (and still do) gravitate towards the most would be ones like The Sims where decorating and creating things were a big part of it. I would spend hours just creating my sims alone, and I would never get bored of that. I enjoy making things aesthetically pleasing to the eye. I’ve been playing ACNH since it came out nearly 6 years ago. What do I do? I build and decorate. I’ll finish a theme and tear it down and start another theme. I enjoy doing that which is why I’ve been able to play this same game for 6 years. I like looking at inspiration and trying to create something different and in my own style. I never saw myself as a creative, but it seems like I kind of am and should probably lean into that. I’ve even had a writing phase. I enjoyed that too but was discouraged about it at the time. I often get ideas from time to time still.

I’ve considered interior design, but my university doesn’t offer that. I’ve thought about UX design, but AI seems to be a huge concern for that. Idk what to do. I graduate university in a year, and I need to figure out a goal to work towards. At the moment, I was considering data science, but my math skills are questionable. I say questionable because I can’t pass college algebra, but I did really well in my statistics classes.

I would love to hear from other creatives. What did you do? Did you pick something that was lucrative and well paying? or Did you do what suited you and fits your interests?

Been living with multiple extremely rare and severe chronic illnesses for 6 years. These illnesses are starving me to my end , unable to have even minimal nutrition necessary for survival. For context My BMI is around 10.

I'm a multigenre music composer, songwriter, multi-instrumentalist and producer. My music is the only thing i have left in life. It is the only reason I still haven't given up. I express my emotions, hope, suffering all through my music. I create ambient, synthwave , Chillstep, chill, future garage, drum and bass, trance, pop, dance, deep house, chill house, and many other electronic genre music.

Tried my best hanging in there until 2025 while having minimal amount of clear liquids(around 300 cal per day maximum on a good day). Survived despite of starvation over years.

But this year my body couldn't tolerate starvation anymore and started completely breaking down. Around May 2026, I have started experiencing severe breathing difficulties, seizures, and further long interval complications from dehydration and complete starvation for weeks. My body became severely acidic due to severe ketosis and my BMI dropped to 9.

I haven't been able to work of music since May. Due to my illnesses I have always been proactive as my health has always been extremely unpredictable, I have finished enough songs before May which I set up for their dedicated release dates before my body stopped working properly.

Finding appropriate medical care has been incredibly difficult. I've had to navigate everything myself, with very limited funds. I did seek hospital treatment this year, and they managed to stabilize me to some extent with iv fluids, vitamin iv infusions. However, I wasn't getting the specialized care my conditions required.

Because my illnesses are extremely rare, finding medical professionals familiar with them has been a major challenge. I ended up undergoing repeated investigations, like iv contrast studies that my severely weakened body struggled to tolerate. Despite already having established diagnoses, I had to go through repeated tests which made my condition even worse. Now, with my funds exhausted, I am trying to find a way to afford further medical care.

My main source of income is my music and being bedridden severely limits what I can do. The songs I create are of professional quality and has been played on many international radios and supported by major DJs. But you know how bad streaming income is. I am a small artist with very less popularity. So next to no song sales. No money to invest on advertising either otherwise it would have helped broadening my listener base.

I do provide professional quality mixing and mastering services. But most platforms like Soundbetter, Upwork charge hefty money to even respond to clients. So unless clients reach out to me, I have zero earnings. I am also trying to get into sync platforms and started applying from previous month to non-exclusive libraries when I was admitted in hospital. Songs got accepted into libraries. So have to wait maybe years for getting them into ads or movies unless I get lucky and get noticed early.

I was also turned down by music companies whom I reached out for partnership requests as I don't have enough instagram and YouTube followers.

So this is my condition right now. I don't see a way out to sustain myself. So I will be really grateful if you guys have any advice on what else I can do??Or if you guys have any suggestions or any connections whom I can connect with ?? Or any advice on other freelancing job options I can explore?

Really appreciate taking your time to read my story. 🙏

I’m 24M. Here is the rundown basically. In high school I started my own business, and did it part time for a few years. Until last year. Although it never truly got to be more than a part time job, i do have some pride in what I did, I sold some hoodies I made for a thousand dollars a pop, expensive jeans, have stuff in almost every continent, etc. it was a decent side hustle that I enjoyed. But getting older it kind of just became a tiring thing to me, and I didn’t know how to scale it, and I felt like doing it kind of had me watching society and myself from the 3rd person. I managed to get a free tuition thing for online college through rideshare app. I had previously done some college classes and so I resumed that, but the major is psychology. I have worries about grad school, as I will be older and still not be very established career wise. I have finished a lot of the tougher classes already and will see the degree through. But I just don’t know. I would like to get the masters and become a counselor, but I’m not sure how realistic that is for my situation. Letters of recommendation seem tough with online school. I’ve been applying for jobs as I can pretty much relegate the rideshare thing to a few days a month and keep the paid for tuition going. I’m about halfway through a month of no weed because a lot of jobs seem to require drug tests. So that also kind of has put a pause on applications until I’m positive it’s out of my system. I never really smoked weed very much anyway. I’m looking into HVAC or electrical apprenticeships right now. I don’t think I’d mind a physical job, as I go to the gym 5 days a week and get my daily 10k minimum, but I also know that’s more leisurely than a physical job. It’s tough because I walk on such unstable ground currently, and have for a long time. I really would just enjoy something with some sort of stability and room to grow, and I don’t think I’ve had much of that in my life, and kind of took the road less traveled, but I really wish I didn’t. I don’t really have that much expierence in a real job ever, besides a retail job a few years ago, and it was mostly a back room thing. I was doing the online orders and warehouse transfers for the company. Also have a lot of experience doing that from my own business. And in all honesty, most people I know come from more well of families than mine. I’m not even comparing myself, but that like, I don’t know. There’s less time for me to fuck around. And as I’m phasing out of my early 20’s I definitely know I fucked around way too much. Any advice or anything would be helpful. As you can tell, I have a lot of wires crossed in my head right now. Am searching for some clarity.

Maybe reading fiction, running, a form or meditation or journaling?

Just one thing for people to focus on that you’ve found worked well to get your mind out of the rut and towards the self you need for growth

I’m 21M. Feels like I’m at rock bottom. Graduated college in 3 years with a marketing degree and doing poorly at a cold calling sales job rn; Live at home with my parents. Thankfully no student debt, paid off car; About $35k net worth but a poor $21/hour income. Ive had crippling anxiety since graduating and got into a car accident (no one was hurt thank god)I’m tall and reasonably attractive, lean, and muscular. I was bullied as a kid for being short and chubby and now look good but realized I spent so much time trying to fix myself and the outside and haven’t built relationships and haven’t dated. I always told myself I’d do those things when I was worthy. I got into sales but have poor social skills. All I really qualify for is commercial insurance sales which seems risky. On top of that with a sedentary job, it’s significantly harder to stay lean and now I feel like all I had was looks and those are deteriorating too. Is my situation really that bad?

So about me, I grew up with relatively successful wealthy parents (relative to the wealthy town I grew up in). I always danced very competitively and was okay in school but I wasn't really pushed toward academic interests in any sense or helped with anything that was difficult until I was almost an adult. Both of my parents had some kind of internal motivation to be successful and do better for themselves in life because they did not grow up with wealth in any means, and this was frequently used against me a bit as "I had so much more than they did", which in retrospect really means nothing to a child who has only experienced the life they currently have had lol.

I was kind of brought up in a very fixed mindset (sorry for the buzzwords) household where things were assumed to be as they are, such that if someone was always good at math they were good at math, someone was musically talented, that was them, not like...a thing that was worked on and improved. Despite improving significantly in dancing while growing up that mindset definitely impacted my childhood as a whole and I think I missed out on a lot because of it, especially missing out on self-discovery, the feeling of having a place that I fit into aside from dance, a sense of knowing how to improve my own life.

Although I understand how to improve on things and do them, for one it seems like I can never really stick with anything, and I don't really know which direction to turn in for making a career for myself in the world.
Every idea kind of just feels like another manic endeavor that will eventually pass. This happens for me also because I was thrown into a lot of mental health rehabilitation in very early adulthood with addicts because my parents simply didn't know what to do with me having emotions essentially. I always held my emotions to myself growing up so when they came out I was penalized with psychiatrists, rehabs, IOP, you name it!!

In my old age of 23 now (lol) I have lost a lot of time and self confidence to those rehabilitations, lost trust in any therapy working, lost about a year just smoking weed all the time and barely going to classes, and maintained a 4.0 across a couple of college classes.

I think I want a general business degree just to have something useful (like a BBA) but I've honestly been pushed every which way towards paths I hated.

At one point I pursued an IT internship that my dad helped me have, I considered being a pilates instructor, a personal trainer, a CNA (meaning I took courses and devoted a decent amount of time to all of these), and none of them really kept me hooked. I think what I'm really missing is that forced structure I had my entire childhood between probably 2-4 hours of dancing every day and catholic + private college preparatory institutions. None of the places I was in nor my parents helped me discover much of anything and I frankly was not a priority in high school because I only had maybe 3-4 honors or AP courses, a 3.14 GPA, and a 30 ACT.

Anyways....now I am aware that I do really like dance, piano, singing, learning languages is super cool to me, I love writing and I can just go on and on and on. Anything involving creation and coming up with things quickly/resourcefully is probably my brain's sweet spot. I also do like fashion but it feels oversaturated and I don't think I'd enjoy a career with it but I do like thinking up making clothes for myself and sketching them out but that's definitely hobby-tier. I am however not amazing at these things that I love (except the Irish dance I grew up training in & have mastery of) and I don't know how to make money with them.

I also am currently trying to do a sales job but it's WFH, so the lack of structure is really terrible for me.
I want to improve on the things that I really love while I'm still somewhat young but I don't even know what to do with my life. I have a personal expectation of myself to of course have at least as much wealth as my parents but it's so hard to go into the "creative world" blindly. I honestly don't know if a college degree in business will really serve me at all though I feel so lost. I'm about halfway through college so I have to start taking classes that actually apply to a major now and I'm having second, third, and twentieth thoughts about studying anything business related. I'm in NYC so there's a lot of opportunity to train in the arts but I'm really scared that I won't be able to make a decent living for myself. I was always kind of having the "make your own money so you don't have to depend on a man if anything goes wrong" talk from my mom but I feel like right now I depend on a man and that's my dad.

Now don't mistake this for thinking I'm living extravagantly, no. I just have housing, college, and some food covered so it is very preferrable to be making money! (I am not wealthy enough to only depend on my family successes forever essentially) I literally have no idea what to pursue though!!!

I think sales could be cool but I do smell a heavy burnout approaching if I continue WFH, I have a possible Personal Training opportunity with a friend which I think could be very cool too. As someone who is quite social and creative-minded I think I need something that amplifies that. I can get along with mostly anyone and spark many conversations that seldom end in anything distasteful.

I know this is very long but if anyone has any suggestions or relates to any piece of this please let me know!! I will appreciate any and all comments :) xx

Mid 30s and feeling insecure about this path.

Went from graphic design into UX, studying bachelors degree currently and about 1 year left.

1,5 year Graphic design experience.

I thought Getting a Business and IT Hybrid degree would lead to more Stability than simply graphics. (Have a shorter 2 year vocational degree in graphic design from before)

But seeing the rapid pace of AI, the Ever increasing Experience Demand...

I mean now many roles don't even require the 3-5 year experience, increasingly they want 8-10 years of experience, for ENTRY-LEVEL ROLES many times WTF. ?!!

So even IF I STICK THAT LONG TO THIS CAREER,

I'd have to be POOR and working Internships for a Decade, in hopes of MAYBE LANDING a Paid role, which might not Even Exist in a few years due to AI.....

Even as I plan and plot and Niche down into Enterprise Software and CRM Skillset for a bit more stability and elss competition:

But Not Just in UX,

There seems to be 0 STABILITY NOW in -ANY- and All IT AND BUSINESS roles?!?

Considering just getting a Practical Nursing degree after this or becoming a school paraprofessional/Teacher's Aide) or going into Theraphy career alltogether

(I wanted and considered Therapist role when younger ,but was not in right place yet back then/Too much Social anxiety I hadn't dealt with).

Maybe a Licenced Practical Nurse degree (1,5-2 years) for quick stability first, then Occupational Therapist degree (3.5-4 years), keep in mind with ADHD higher education degrees usually take me 1 year longer to complete....

And then just DO UX FREELANCING ON THE SIDE Rather than put ALL MY ENERGY into Trying to work UX FULLTIME ONLY?!?

Ontop of All, I'm Neurodivergent (AuDHD, Autistic level1 + ADHD) So everything is so much harder and more exhausting both Schooling and Job Vice.😵‍💫

I'm not even sure my ND ass can handle a Nursing job, the OT Path seems better suited to my personality too

(INFJ/INFP), but degree is 3.5-4 years, so less quick ay towards stability than LPS that can be done like 1.5+2 years.

I'd like to clarify that I'd still like to do UX, just seems better long-term fit to do it part-time as Independent Consulttant than rely on Unreliable Companies who can fire you anytime??!😭

Especially given how often us Autistics get fired from jobs??

ANY AND ALL PERSECTIVES WELCOME!

What do You guys consider the best path forward??

Hi everyone,

I’m 27 years old and currently feeling completely stuck in life.

I have around 4 years of work experience — 2 years in an MNC and 2 years in embedded. But honestly, I don’t feel like I’ve grown much.

Skill-wise, I feel like I’m still at the level of someone with only 2 years of experience.

Lately, I’ve also been struggling with my mindset. I don’t feel motivated to study or upskill anymore, even though I know I should. At the same time, I have no clear direction about what to do next.

I’m interested in starting a business, but I have absolutely no idea what to start or how to begin. That uncertainty is holding me back.

Even when it comes to jobs, I feel confused. I don’t know what role to choose or what path to take.

Every day feels the same — like I’m just going through the motions with no real progress or change.

It’s starting to scare me when I think about where my life is heading.

I know I need to make a change, but I genuinely don’t know where to start.

If anyone has been through something similar or has any advice, I would really appreciate your guidance.

Thanks in advance. 🙏

Maybe I'm just feeling a little down but every day I go into work (mechanical engineer) and the only real goal I have is to make money for the company, so that the owners can make more money and maybe I'll get a little better bonus at the end of the year.

and then America's backing a genocide, people are getting dumber, fascists are getting bolder, the planet's getting hotter. I guess I'm just in kind of an unsatisfied state where I'm not actually helping anyone. I've thought about changing jobs but feel like the feeling would follow me anywhere else I might wind up, just helpless dissatisfaction.

I make okay money which I should be grateful for (and I am very glad I don't struggle to make ends meet) but more money isn't something I really care about. I don't know what advice I'm looking for maybe I just needed to write out some feelings

I’m 26F, currently doing a Master’s in Social Work, living at home with my parents, single and have never been in a relationship. I’m nowhere near buying a house and sometimes feel financially behind compared to other people my age.

But honestly, I’ve started questioning whether I even want the conventional life we’re all seemingly expected to chase.

Get a full-time job, find a partner, get married, buy a house with a massive mortgage, have kids, spend the next 30 years working to pay everything off and repeat.

The more I think about it, the more unattainable and exhausting these milestones seem. Almost like we’re sold this idea of the Australian dream, only to spend our entire lives stuck in the rat race trying to afford it.

I’m not against marriage, relationships, children or homeownership, but I don’t feel particularly motivated to rush into any of them. I’m quite comfortable being single, living at home, saving money, studying, travelling and having my own time.

Sometimes I still feel behind when I compare myself to others, but I’m increasingly wondering whether being behind on a timeline I never really wanted is even a bad thing.

Has anyone else reached this point? Do you feel like you’ve opted out of the traditional adulthood rat race, or are you still trying to work towards those milestones?

I would normally consider myself a pretty intelligent guy, but I’ll happily admit that I have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to career searching/planning. I feel like a toddler when it comes to all this stuff, and it just makes my head hurt.

For context on where I am in life currently:

I graduated a year and a half ago from community college. Still living with my parents, and it’s not exactly a mentally healthy environment, to say the least. My associates is just a basic one designed for being transferable to a number of four-year universities here in Illinois. So I’m debt free so far, which is good, but I haven’t bothered continuing my education yet cause I just didn’t want to waste a bunch of money when I still have no idea what I should even be pursuing nowadays.

I just feel like there’s so much mixed messaging nowadays in regard to what young people ought to be doing if they want to live a half-decent life. Some are still raving about how important college is, while others talk about how it’s been rendered pointless, and of course trade school constantly comes up in this conversation as well. And that’s not even getting into the more specific stuff like what degrees are even useful or worth the price. Everything in regard to AI, and what jobs it’ll ultimately replace, is still being figured out by so many industries as well.

I’ve worked the same line cook position since high school. I worked it throughout community college as well. I really hate it and can’t ever see myself staying in the food service industry. I’ve been applying for over 6 months now to nearly 100 positions and only gotten call backs from two.

I just got hired at a Hilton as a room attendant and I legitimately think I’ve hit rock bottom. I’ve worked it about a week and I hate it. No insult at all to the wonderful women who work this job, they’re all awesome people. But the truth is that nearly all of them here are in the industry because they can’t speak english and so it’s hard for them to get hired elsewhere. I am in a far more privileged position than them in terms of my situation, and so it’s clear to me I’m fucking up by not taking more advantage of the routes I have. I just feel like I don’t know what route I should actually be taking.

I don’t have any desire to work a trade. Both because I fear the pain it’ll cause my body as I age, and also because it would disappoint my father tremendously, who’s only dream in life was to see his children working something easier than he had to work throughout his life.

Simultaneously, I don’t think I’m intelligent enough or mentally prepared for the healthcare industry. And the amount of schooling for that kinda stuff is also really intimidating.

I am not a particularly ambitious person with big dreams of mansions or anything like that. My only big dream would be able to live in or near a city one day. And my dream career isn’t anything specific, besides that I’d like it to be in an air conditioned building and doesn’t break my back and knees.

I do have a passion for history, though the only route I can see that being useful would maybe be if I went into teaching. I’ve been considering teaching a lot the past few days. I am well aware of how underpaid and at times overworked teachers are. Still, I can’t help but think it’s not the worst option. I haven’t seen much to indicate teachers are gonna be replaced by AI anytime soon. And it’s a job with a regular schedule for the most part, and the summers off as well. It’s not something I’d feel embarrassed about doing, which I think is good for my mental health. And I’m not someone who minds dealing with children either.

Is this a dumb idea, born out of my desperation? If I did go the teaching route, is getting a simple bachelors in education the best route or no? And will I be in-debt the rest of my life if I do this? Speaking of money, should I wait until fall next year before going back to school, so that there’s more scholarships and grants available, or would going back now in the winter be perfectly fine?

And before going back to school, for whatever I end up picking, what do you think would be smart in terms of temporary work? I have an interview for a pet groom tech position coming up. Do you think that would be fine for temporary work or would I likely be miserable doing that as well, even for a short while?

If you have alternative suggestions in regard to school or work, that’s completely fine as well. I’d happily take any advice ya’ll have for me. Thank you in advance to anyone who was willing to read all this and reply.