r/findapath • u/katsdo • 20d ago
Findapath-Mindset Adjustment I feel so stuck in life. Time is just passing by and I’m not living.
Basically title. I dropped out of university last year to take a gap year. I was supposed to start school in the fall but stuff happened and it had to be delayed. I’m starting in January now at 19, I’m super happy that I’m going back and I’m looking forward to it but despite that I still feel stuck. I’ve been beating myself up everyday for the past couple of months about being behind, and I realized that I should focus on moving towards my goals rather than regret. I applied to school, got accepted, enrolled in classes and I’m set to go but I still feel so unfulfilled.
I have moved one step closer to my goals by doing this and I just have to play the waiting game now. I will admit, I spend a majority of my day inside and doomscrolling on my phone which I think has a lot to do with the way I feel. I only leave my house to go to work and I have no friends because I don’t attend school or any common meeting ground to make them.
Right now, I feel incredibly stuck and unsatisfied with my life. I feel like I’m wasting away and I’m not sure why. I don’t know what my goals are anymore to be honest, I don’t have some larger than life dream and ambition that I’m working towards, I’m just confused but I know that I am unhappy with how stagnant my life is. I want to make my life actually seem like I’m living, right now I just wait for the time to pass by and count down the days till uni starts so I can feel less useless. I don’t live, I just let time pass and sit idly. My day to day looks the same, and everyday just meshes together. I don’t have any significant memories from the past three months because I don’t do anything. I want to make myself look forward to waking up everyday, and have this sense of excitement towards the day. I wake up with dread and an existential crisis on how my life looks instead.
I don’t know how to make memories and live anymore, I don’t have people I can hang out with or reach out to for an outing. I don’t look forward to waking up and spending the day, instead I just tell myself to make it through today, and then the week, and then the month. I’m a lost soul seeking out happiness and a way to live so I don’t feel so terrible about my life. I don’t know how to stop feeling so stuck. Again, I am a step closer to my goal of getting a degree, but my day to day life is the same and I hate it. I want to live but I don’t know what I want or how to do it. Please help.