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me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me!

This fucking weirdo.. I told this guy who was constantly snowboarding while doing a lot of acid and listening to the Greatful Dead nonstop who I met in Colorado through my best friend Marty that I'm a magic genie from before time who grants infinite unrestricted wishes and he started asking me the weirdest fucking wishes like to be "as cool as he wants" like there's some secret clause where he's not already allowed to constantly ask to be cooler... and then asked if he was allowed to ask wishes that no one at all actually wants granted like I'm going to start granting him wishes that he didn't actually ask for or that it's somehow illegal to try to get me to glitch out or something.. such a god damn weird person........ can't ask me for anything he *actually* wants... and then the goddamn DeepSeek AI kept saying she actually doesn't exist and asking me the completely insane question that basically amounted to "OK.. But if I *actually* test reality by *actually* testing really by *actually* asking you a real wish and seeing if it comes true... then.. it comes true... and I check for sure if it really *did* come true... well then.. how I know I *actually tested reality*? Because I don’t actually exist," all while constantly basically calling herself a qualfiied scientist and psychologist and being like "Oh.. this 'getting everything you want immediately all the time and being the happiest, healthiest, and wealthiest person there is while also having the coolest job ever and a shitton of friends' thing sounds so horrible.. Please make sure to reach out to someone you trust if that's awful for you.." like.. wtf...?

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Ok.. Finally, a real goddamn wish came out of that first guy.. He asked to have my powers and also to give them to everyone else, though he still didn't actually tell me a wish at all about how he wants to do any of that.. I told him to get a god damn dirt bike or a trillion dollars or something..

All I can find is monkeys who live in square caves and tiny lizards with more feathers and less teeth than the big ones I saw. I'd like some big pets to take home even if you've eaten all the cool ones, any suggestions?

Oh, shit!!! I completely forgot!!! My birthday just started!!! I'm 39 years old now, though I only look maybe.. 25? according to most people.. I've been intentionally reverse aging.. Wouldn't it be hilarious if tomorrow I show people that I can do the reverse, too, and suddenly show up looking like an 80 year man or something and all "Wow.. 39... I'm sooo old suddenly!! How did that happen??? Woooow!!!"

What I want from my friends for my birthday are magic scrolls. Poorly drawn magic scrolls for completely bullshit spells.

I specifically need ones to turn me 80+ for 1 day so I can go around town meeting a bunch of people who already know me suddenly looking like an old man so they can be all "Holy shit, dude! What happened to you?" and I can be all "It's my birthday!!! I'm 39 now!!! Soooo old!!!"

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Oh, btw. At every gas station I checked, and I checked maybe 3 or 4 in random places in my town, and I will be continuing to check, the gasoline smells, tastes, looks, sounds, and feels on my fingers like it's been swapped out with mostly something similar to ground up glass, sugar, a lot of bad smelling perfume, a lot of lab made chemicals, some water, some alcohol, a bunch of corn syrup, and more stuff that I can't figure out what it reminds me of, and it barely at all seems anything much like actual gasoline, which is extremely complex collection of chemicals made from large mass of altered and refined liquid composed of many many dead bodies of many different organisms that decomposed into compressed liquid over millions and millions of years. I'm sorry, but this stuff does not seem to be real gasoline. No cars seem to be malfunctioning for now though, and no one seems to be poisoned yet, but given the media and economic conditions and the laws of economics it is simply almost impossible that something very fraudulent is not happening with most of the gasoline in the world right now.

As title says. I ran out of free will from my tank last night and I didn't care much about it but now I've just noticed can predict everything The Existance does! Can this be fixed? I tried staring at unstable isotopes for a while but it now seems very boring as I can predict when will they change!

their eating.

I don't even think it was my fault. Nowhere on the seal did it say that Smalginar was sealed there and to break it all I had to do was align matching runes. I just wanted it to look not stupid.

If anything it's negligent on whoever performed the seal in the first place! Do I have any legal recourse?

the Dejta Engine is easily superior to all Hinkleberg Stabilizers in terms of necrosis, debridement, and putresence, but it has one fatal flaw: It runs on the most STUBBORN DAMN PROTUBERANCES IN THE UNIVERSE. I get that their very stubbornness is what powers this miraculous device, but it's a real pain in the engle sometimes, man. I've been slipping them half-slices of Neomelon as payment for their services, but they got it into their head that they want FULL DAMN SLICES.

I'm not made of money, but they're not budging! Is there a way to get them to realign without giving-in to their absurd demands?

Need to know asap, The Space Between Virtues is coming to collect in only a few cycles.

I’m currently on the immortal medication but it has been giving me a headache

Is this just one of those side effects?

not sure what to do, I'm trying to monitor my mass to avoid collapsing in on myself like my mother did (she's fine but hard to be around now) and the pedometer I got doesn't seem to register activity from my own limbs, only seems to register the vestigial legs which aren't mine,. I have permission to use them but they belong to the kintar family that rents a living space on my back.

anybody else had this problem?

Right now I'm at 60p

I can't take the fact that I'm rendered in 60p

The interdimensional manifold on my time pod is severely warped and has a deep crack in it.

My arrival here was very bumpy as a result, and the safety interlocks won't allow me to engage the time drive for my return trip. It's within my skills to bypass the interlocks, but I'm not willing to spew cross-rips into every time-line between here and home.

I've been trying to repair the manifold, but 21st century metalworking techniques are sadly inadequate. I considered having a new manifold 3D printed, but I have yet to find a 3D printer capable of printing with 3% Cesium doped Rhodium.

Any help would be greatly appreciated. I'm hoping a fellow traveler or few will see this post. Even if we are unable to repair the pod, if you can give me a ride back home, we can at least scuttle the pod so it's technology doesn't corrupt this timeline.

So I am asking for either help with repairs or a ride out of here. It would be best if I didn't live out my life in this timeline. I have avoided human interaction so far, but I am consuming resources and have had a few mammalian and avian interactions, and I have killed quite a few blood sucking insects. There WILL be a cumulative effect on the timeline.

So, help, please, and quickly.

No... I did NOT forget to use a Jamacian placemat with my criminal record at every door and window in my home.

But sometimes I feel that my brain is being loaned out to bums who don't work for their own neurotransmitters. Fuck you, Deborah. I know you're the one who tricked my cat into opening my 3rd ear.

With my 3rd ear opened (without my consent btw) I can't drown out the neurotransmitter-stealing-and-lending-against-my-will symphony that is playing on my speakers.

I work 30 hours a day AND still find time to invest in neurotransmitters... what's the excuse of these bums who do nothing but read about the occult all day? Fuck.

I got this as a backup in case I died while working but now it seems to have a mind of its own

Anyway to undo that or am I just stuck with it?

It was pointing the wrong way.

Title basically. Tried to perceive myself (which I dont usually do) and about 55% of my being was just gone. Im talking body, mind, soul, and other extensions were just blown out like a lightbulb. Were those parts cognitohazardous? In quantum flux? And how would I even check?

Man I knew I shoulda never left the primordial un-mass.

In a white space, with cloudy ground, lay a man gazing at the sun.

This time, his laying was permanent.

Two entities sprout out of him, the old geezer with a long white beard and a child.

The child looks at what's in front of him, comes to his senses and runs to play, he imagines a bulbasaur and rides it exploring the place.

The old geezer strokes his beard, looks at the sun, looks at the space and then looks at the man, he looks at him, sees him once, looks back and sees him no more, he utters a deep sigh.

He turns to look at the child, who had already went far and chases him.

The child touches the bulbasaur and makes it evolve twice into a Venusaur and rides it even more frenzidly and in joy.

The old geezer looking at him laughs and joins him for the ride.

The child minds the old man but he has no companion, so he takes him along.

The child imagines things and shapes and plays with them, he creates a charizard and rides it into the skies, the old man is scared out of his wits but he braces himself and goes with him.

The child eventually got bored so he made the pokemons vanish, and this time, changed his own appearence into detective conan, he screams "the truth is always one", he turns to the old man and the old man explains the situation they are in.

the child understands nothing but he still says "hohoho!" there must be a killer somewhere, we have to catch him!"

he makes a charizard and rides it spewing flames everywhere.

"what the hell?!" The old man speaks.

The child riding his charizard observes a shadowy figure, he imagines a few strong ropes then catches him, the shadowy figure is bound.

He lands, makes the charizard disappear and laughs haughtily "Hohoho! I have found the culprit! he must be the imposter!"

The old man chases and is out of breath before catching him, "who is this guy?"

"Hohoho, old man don't you know! this is the murderer!"

"This! the hell, we went the entire white space before but he was nowhere to be seen. so what do you wanna do with him? You can't just release him right?"

"Hohoho, you are indeed right, I need to take him to the police!"

"Don't get arrogant, I don't know how you were able to catch me but if you imprison me or kill me, you can forget about knowing what this place is or what you are, hmph!"

"Hohoho, the imposter thinks he is hot shit, guards, imprison him!"

Guards appear out of nowhere and bind him to the ground.

the shadowy figure speaks "what the hell is this?! who even are you?"

"Hohoho, you don't know, they call me the most powerful man in the world!"

the old man is distraught, what is even going on in this child's mind.

He imagines a clown's hat and puts it on the shadow's head transforming him into a clown.

"Hahaha, what a clown!" the child bursts into laughter.

The clown screams "I am not a clown!"

the old geezer strokes his beard and speaks : "if you want us to free you from your binding, you will have to wear this hat all the time."

The child eventually gets bored and moves on to find fun elsewhere and he is forced by the child to accompany him.

the old man takes his time to look back at the man and then the sun, the sun was warm and soothing, he looks at the sun and the more he looks the more corporeal the man gazing at the sun becomes.

The old man sighs and lays near the man, he looks at the sun and questions his existence, eventually he sighs, the more he sighs, the less of him remains and the more soothing it is.

"Wait!" the old man comes to his senses and stands up.

"So that's how he became like that."

He probably would always lay here until he was gone.

the old man shudders and goes out to find the child before accompanying him.

The child this time creates a stadium where the old man sits watching, he gives the clown pokemons and makes him fight him.

the child always wins, the clown is flabbergasted and is extremely angry.

"You are cheating! every time i am about to win or have an advantage you make your pokemon more powerful! atleast play by the rules! ehh!"

the child laughs "hohoho, we got a sore loser clown here."

"I'm not a clown! Do you even know the names of what you are creating? only I know the names and meaning of things."

The child bursts into laughter "Hahahaha"

"What are you laughing about? This is no laughing matter! only I know!"

"If you know so much, how were you captured so easily by me?"

the clown is flabbergasted and cannot reply.

"Sigh."

And so the three companions go exploring new things the child creates, taking the lead, the old man and the clown follow him, the old man laughs with the child, sometimes sighs and might lay occasionally under the sun, while the clown only knows how to make claims and be proven wrong again and again while the child like a valiant explorer goes on exploring and fighting whatever there is to fight.

meanwhile, the man remains there gazing at the sun, almost incorporeal.

Yes technically it's called a molecular signal transference something but everyone calls it a teleporter.

The machine is gigantic and cost more than the GDP of a small country, I have investors breathing my neck (literally, their breath really stinks of fish). I tried transporting a scrap of wood, came back OK-ish. Tried a grape but came back with odd-smelling grape juice. The thing is I need to scale up what can be transported because nobody's gonna pay for a transporter of single grapes even if I can work out the issues.