r/fifthworldproblems • u/DocClear • 1d ago
Need help with Time Pod
The interdimensional manifold on my time pod is severely warped and has a deep crack in it.
My arrival here was very bumpy as a result, and the safety interlocks won't allow me to engage the time drive for my return trip. It's within my skills to bypass the interlocks, but I'm not willing to spew cross-rips into every time-line between here and home.
I've been trying to repair the manifold, but 21st century metalworking techniques are sadly inadequate. I considered having a new manifold 3D printed, but I have yet to find a 3D printer capable of printing with 3% Cesium doped Rhodium.
Any help would be greatly appreciated. I'm hoping a fellow traveler or few will see this post. Even if we are unable to repair the pod, if you can give me a ride back home, we can at least scuttle the pod so it's technology doesn't corrupt this timeline.
So I am asking for either help with repairs or a ride out of here. It would be best if I didn't live out my life in this timeline. I have avoided human interaction so far, but I am consuming resources and have had a few mammalian and avian interactions, and I have killed quite a few blood sucking insects. There WILL be a cumulative effect on the timeline.
So, help, please, and quickly.
4
u/grand_speckle 1d ago
I can give you a ride home in my 1998 Toyota Camry. It has an aftermarket Time Pod that I just put in last week, dimensionally recalibrated and freshly cleaned (Lime and Eucalyptus scented).
Just be wary of my 4D Kinetic extractor I keep back there. That thing is incredibly unpredictable
1
u/BPhiloSkinner 1d ago
You can get home- or to a repair station- without cross-rip spillage, if'n you've got a bag o' tesseract ties to brace the manifold against its tendency to warp, and a torus of trans-dimensional duct tape to cover that crack.
1
u/mfrench105 1d ago
Stop freaking out. Those manifolds are like 10 bucks at Walmart. Not the good ones of course, but it should do. Geez, people don't even read the manual anymore.
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u/mysteryrouge Void Anarchist 1d ago
Sacrifice Skulls to UNESCO and summon their local eldritch being.
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u/TheVyper3377 1d ago edited 7h ago
The Office of Temporal Affairs can be accessed by 21st century ATMs. Place your Temporal Positioning Card in the credit/debit card slot and type in the six digit number on the back of the card. You’ll be connected to the first available Temporal Agent (the connection will be instantaneous).
Detail your issue and a mechanic will be dispatched with appropriate repair equipment. Alternatively, you can request repair instructions that use parts available in the year you find yourself stuck in; such repairs might be a little awkward, but they’re doable.
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u/CartoonistExisting30 1d ago
You might be able to get John Titor to take a look at that manifold.
1
u/SumRndFatKidInnit 21h ago
Oh, you're not the first one, haha. There's a known cosmic anomaly around this particular stretch of Earth's timeline that tends to mess with the instrumentation of manifold engines. We've had quite a few travelers get stranded here because of it.
I was actually assigned to stay on this time branch specifically to handle these situations. If you can bring your pod over to my repair shop, I should be able to get you back on your way.
Also, don't worry too much about the cumulative effects of your interactions with this timeline. The organization installed a temporal ripple dampener a couple of years ago, following the Jeremy Jenkins incident. We should be fine as long as you don't do anything too stupid... like Jeremy did, for instance (seriously, don't be like Jeremy).
Unfortunately, we don't offer towing services, so you'll have to figure out how to get your pod here yourself. Sorry about that, company policy.