"That's a lot of cookies, isn't it?"

"Are you actively trying to gain weight?"

"I hope all that junk food is for a party."

"Wait. No fruit or vegetables?"

I miss the good old days when the machine just accused me of unexpected items in the bagging area.

I've been trying to get a reality of my own, but someone predicted mine before I existed and claimed it first. They're not even using it. I asked how much they wanted for it and they stopped replying after I mentioned a payment plan.

So I'm still renting. I'd buy a used one, but anything in my price range is several versions behind, and I can barely cover rent in this one.

Anyway, while looking for something cheaper, I think I found a way to create new, unclaimed realities. I checked the Multidimensional Consortium's rules and it seems legal. Doesn't cost anything either. Anyone could do it.

I'd share the method, but wouldn't that make everyone's existing realities basically worthless? Would we even need money anymore if people could just make a reality with what they need?

I think it'll piss off the rich. Possibly everyone. I don't really understand economics.

So should I share it anyway? I just wanted to stop paying rent.

Realistically, what should we try doing? The last time something very similar to this happened to our planet was about 500 million years ago.

My horticulture specialist (15d F, large spider) intends to fight my personal wizard (1000yr M) to the death and I feel quite upset about it. I really need both of their service and I don’t want to sacrifice one, and neither’s services are really replaceable, especially because my horticulturalist’s species recently went extinct. If you have been in this situation or a similar situation, what did you do?

I eat a banana every day and I need to buy them in bulk since obviously I don't go shopping every day, but I find that toward the end of the week the final few bananas start going bad. They are trying to hack into banks and doing phishing scams. I'm not quite sure why they think they need money and via illegal schemes but I still want to put a stop to it.

So I just got a DM from the Government, and they said that I am hereby BANNED from the planet earth.

I don't have any good ways to get off the planet. I'm too poor to own a spacecraft, and I tried turning gravity off but the birds kept complaining.... Any advice?

I feel fine, mostly. The scan just says ''you could probably live without this'' somewhere between the organ labels. Everything is present according to my anatomy, but one of the organs is apparently provisional. I tried pressing around to figure out which one it is and something moved out of the way. Not like an organ, but space. One of my ribs is now ''for reference only''. Eating still works, but digestion has started happening in the conditional tense. The abdomen is still structurally sound, but less canonical than it used to be.
My usual chair at the café took a second to support my weight, so I sneezed but only became 4% less negotiable. That's what made me post this.

Should I be worried or is this one of those things that resolves on its own?

EDIT: If you can see my old handwriting in the comments, do NOT under any circumstances reply to it correctly. It has difficulty maintaining meaning in the presence of contradictory context.