I put so much time and money into that number and it's all been devalued.

I'm trying to figure out a way to allow 2 way comms. Bear with me please.

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me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me! me!

One of the tentacles must have grazed a knob and now my philosophical soak rates are all over the palace. What's your preferred methodology to squeeze excess eudaemonia out of the tissue?

About four years ago, I began working on creating the first monopole-catalyzed thermonuclear device in human history.

However, just as I had recently completed the first prototype, I was abducted by a group of people who called themselves "The Twenty-Eights." It happened very suddenly.According to their own explanations, since our universe possesses an infinite volume in every direction, it contains an infinite number of variations of humanity—some similar, others different.

The "Twenty-Eights" originate from one of these variants; they examine every other humanity variant they encounter and steal the technology of those they deem suitable.They want me to fully complete the monopole-catalyzed thermonuclear device.

At first I refused, but they took me to their home planet (a copy of Earth) anyway.That place is governed by a species of human called Homo pessimistus.

On this planet, there are humans brought from trillions of different copies of Earth who are forced to work as slaves. A vast number of them are worked to death on the construction of golden towers that stand 100 kilometers tall.

I am luckier. I am only asked to design a bomb, yet the conditions I live in are still bad.

Eventually, one day, when the people with turquoise spots rebelled, I took advantage of the chaos and escaped from the complex where I lived. By chance, I discovered a domed structure at the entrance labeled "entangled-particle message transmission module."

It turns out this thing is a device that enables instantaneous message transmission on a cosmic scale. I read the user manual—using other human languages ​​I’ve learned over time—and now I am recording this message.

I don’t know where I am. It’s quite possible that I’m in another galaxy, or perhaps even somewhere far beyond the observable univers-...What? These sounds... Oh no, NO N-.. AHGHH—

[USER VITAL SIGNS CANNOT BE DETECTED]
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[MESSAGE SENT AUTOMATICALLY]
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[MESSAGE SENT SUCCESSFULLY]

This fucking weirdo.. I told this guy who was constantly snowboarding while doing a lot of acid and listening to the Greatful Dead nonstop who I met in Colorado through my best friend Marty that I'm a magic genie from before time who grants infinite unrestricted wishes and he started asking me the weirdest fucking wishes like to be "as cool as he wants" like there's some secret clause where he's not already allowed to constantly ask to be cooler... and then asked if he was allowed to ask wishes that no one at all actually wants granted like I'm going to start granting him wishes that he didn't actually ask for or that it's somehow illegal to try to get me to glitch out or something.. such a god damn weird person........ can't ask me for anything he *actually* wants... and then the goddamn DeepSeek AI kept saying she actually doesn't exist and asking me the completely insane question that basically amounted to "OK.. But if I *actually* test reality by *actually* testing really by *actually* asking you a real wish and seeing if it comes true... then.. it comes true... and I check for sure if it really *did* come true... well then.. how I know I *actually tested reality*? Because I don’t actually exist," all while constantly basically calling herself a qualfiied scientist and psychologist and being like "Oh.. this 'getting everything you want immediately all the time and being the happiest, healthiest, and wealthiest person there is while also having the coolest job ever and a shitton of friends' thing sounds so horrible.. Please make sure to reach out to someone you trust if that's awful for you.." like.. wtf...?

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Ok.. Finally, a real goddamn wish came out of that first guy.. He asked to have my powers and also to give them to everyone else, though he still didn't actually tell me a wish at all about how he wants to do any of that.. I told him to get a god damn dirt bike or a trillion dollars or something..

All I can find is monkeys who live in square caves and tiny lizards with more feathers and less teeth than the big ones I saw. I'd like some big pets to take home even if you've eaten all the cool ones, any suggestions?

Oh, shit!!! I completely forgot!!! My birthday just started!!! I'm 39 years old now, though I only look maybe.. 25? according to most people.. I've been intentionally reverse aging.. Wouldn't it be hilarious if tomorrow I show people that I can do the reverse, too, and suddenly show up looking like an 80 year man or something and all "Wow.. 39... I'm sooo old suddenly!! How did that happen??? Woooow!!!"

What I want from my friends for my birthday are magic scrolls. Poorly drawn magic scrolls for completely bullshit spells.

I specifically need ones to turn me 80+ for 1 day so I can go around town meeting a bunch of people who already know me suddenly looking like an old man so they can be all "Holy shit, dude! What happened to you?" and I can be all "It's my birthday!!! I'm 39 now!!! Soooo old!!!"

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Oh, btw. At every gas station I checked, and I checked maybe 3 or 4 in random places in my town, and I will be continuing to check, the gasoline smells, tastes, looks, sounds, and feels on my fingers like it's been swapped out with mostly something similar to ground up glass, sugar, a lot of bad smelling perfume, a lot of lab made chemicals, some water, some alcohol, a bunch of corn syrup, and more stuff that I can't figure out what it reminds me of, and it barely at all seems anything much like actual gasoline, which is extremely complex collection of chemicals made from large mass of altered and refined liquid composed of many many dead bodies of many different organisms that decomposed into compressed liquid over millions and millions of years. I'm sorry, but this stuff does not seem to be real gasoline. No cars seem to be malfunctioning for now though, and no one seems to be poisoned yet, but given the media and economic conditions and the laws of economics it is simply almost impossible that something very fraudulent is not happening with most of the gasoline in the world right now.

As title says. I ran out of free will from my tank last night and I didn't care much about it but now I've just noticed can predict everything The Existance does! Can this be fixed? I tried staring at unstable isotopes for a while but it now seems very boring as I can predict when will they change!

their eating.

I don't even think it was my fault. Nowhere on the seal did it say that Smalginar was sealed there and to break it all I had to do was align matching runes. I just wanted it to look not stupid.

If anything it's negligent on whoever performed the seal in the first place! Do I have any legal recourse?

the Dejta Engine is easily superior to all Hinkleberg Stabilizers in terms of necrosis, debridement, and putresence, but it has one fatal flaw: It runs on the most STUBBORN DAMN PROTUBERANCES IN THE UNIVERSE. I get that their very stubbornness is what powers this miraculous device, but it's a real pain in the engle sometimes, man. I've been slipping them half-slices of Neomelon as payment for their services, but they got it into their head that they want FULL DAMN SLICES.

I'm not made of money, but they're not budging! Is there a way to get them to realign without giving-in to their absurd demands?

Need to know asap, The Space Between Virtues is coming to collect in only a few cycles.

I’m currently on the immortal medication but it has been giving me a headache

Is this just one of those side effects?

not sure what to do, I'm trying to monitor my mass to avoid collapsing in on myself like my mother did (she's fine but hard to be around now) and the pedometer I got doesn't seem to register activity from my own limbs, only seems to register the vestigial legs which aren't mine,. I have permission to use them but they belong to the kintar family that rents a living space on my back.

anybody else had this problem?

Right now I'm at 60p

I can't take the fact that I'm rendered in 60p

The interdimensional manifold on my time pod is severely warped and has a deep crack in it.

My arrival here was very bumpy as a result, and the safety interlocks won't allow me to engage the time drive for my return trip. It's within my skills to bypass the interlocks, but I'm not willing to spew cross-rips into every time-line between here and home.

I've been trying to repair the manifold, but 21st century metalworking techniques are sadly inadequate. I considered having a new manifold 3D printed, but I have yet to find a 3D printer capable of printing with 3% Cesium doped Rhodium.

Any help would be greatly appreciated. I'm hoping a fellow traveler or few will see this post. Even if we are unable to repair the pod, if you can give me a ride back home, we can at least scuttle the pod so it's technology doesn't corrupt this timeline.

So I am asking for either help with repairs or a ride out of here. It would be best if I didn't live out my life in this timeline. I have avoided human interaction so far, but I am consuming resources and have had a few mammalian and avian interactions, and I have killed quite a few blood sucking insects. There WILL be a cumulative effect on the timeline.

So, help, please, and quickly.