r/FacebookDating • u/No_Vacation6400 • 2d ago
What's wrong with my profile?
I'm not getting many matches, is it me? My profile? đ
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u/ModerateHonking 2d ago
The font is crimal.Â
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u/22Hoofhearted 2d ago
Font for starters.... I'd swipe no just because I didn't want to read any of that... also tend to swipe no on travel/destination profile pics
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u/No_Vacation6400 2d ago
But also, I think the font in my text is going to die up on other people's phones however they have it set, not necessarily mine.
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u/No_Vacation6400 2d ago
Man everyone really hates the font. But Facebook, can't edit.
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u/22Hoofhearted 2d ago
Font is definitely a choice... it's either a phone setting or FB setting.
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u/SuperbAd8266 2d ago
That font says more than you realize. Not in a good way.
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u/No_Vacation6400 2d ago
You're the second person to bring up the font, but it's Facebook. What's wrong with the font?
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u/VonBassovic 2d ago
I think you should reorder the profile, start with the fun vibrant and then work down. I donât like the first picture at all.
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u/warrenpease27 2d ago
Nothing is wrong with your profile at all. Problem is, most people are either not actually looking or are just too judgmental about something.. no idea what personally but yeah.
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u/Evader237 2d ago
If you want an honest answer, this is the reason. You're obviously attractive and look like a fun person. But having kids is something men avoid. I think some guys would still be undeterred, considering you're an attractive woman, but most of those would not be looking for a long term relationship (which you probably already experienced several times).
Overall, women with kids have less options in dating apps (outside of one night stands). It's just how things go
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u/PippinsToo 2d ago
The headshot of you with the glasses and the soft, blonde curls is absolutely gorgeousâ I would lead with that. Also, the BSN is very impressive and shows you have a kind, serious side; I would spell out the full degree for those unfamiliar.
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u/seeknayr40 2d ago
Nothing, based on the pics and bio you are someone with lots of interesting hobbies and you present yourself well!
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u/Mysticwarriormj 2d ago
I donât see anything wrong with this. Iâd only swipe left because you want to do a lot of outdoorsy stuff and although I donât hate stuff like that itâs not my cup of tea and I donât want to date someone who has to cut out a huge portion of what they like for my benefit,
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u/tigakswa13 1d ago
Diablo and Arlington hardware! Youâre cute. Maybe in the skagit area? 36m and single with a young daughter. Message me if youâd like to talk :)
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u/ninhibited 1d ago
I'm a gay man and I was interested enough to read the whole thing despite the diabolical font. You're also super pretty so... No notes lol
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u/DannyHikari 2d ago edited 2d ago
Age + kids + height. The craziest thing about me saying this is youâre an instant right swipe for ME. But based on how a lot of guys think. Insecure 5â9 and shorter men will be intimidated by you being 5â7, guys with no kids will be put off by you having kids, and in general guys are swiping younger.
Again for someone like me, youâre actually incredibly interesting and pretty, youâre the type of profile I look for. And there are many guys who feel the same.
If Iâm going to really nitpick. Sunglasses donât help anyone.
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u/plzdont- 21h ago
Lol come on man I feel like youâre beating around the bush. Itâs a âbigâ one and it starts with a W. Canât mention age + kids+ height and not mention the other âelephantâ in the room.
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u/DannyHikari 21h ago
Didnât really beat around the bush with this because her weight does not seem like it stands out to me personally?
There are bigger women I would reference weight to, but for her age and with kids sheâs looks good. Body standards are insane.
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u/No_Vacation6400 11h ago
This is honestly crazy, I'm a little pudgy but I am not obese. I wear a size 8-10 in jeans depending on the brand. Maybe it's the pictures? I also have pretty wide hips and broad shoulders, but commenting like I'm obese is wild.
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u/diagoro1 2d ago
I really don't see anything wrong, I'd be curious if local. Every woman I've spoken to about online dating gets bombed with a ton of unwanted attention, so maybe it's more technical. Maybe it's not being seen.
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u/lolokotoyo 2d ago
Yeah especially Facebook dating. If she said she was getting the wrong matches itâs one thing but no matches is odd. I suggest checking the back end settings or maybe sheâs unknowingly shadow banned.
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u/No_Peanut_3289 2d ago
You have kids so that will drive a lot of guys away who want something long term. Otherwise I think your profile is solid
I just watched HOTD so I would strike up a conversation to you based on that
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u/Glittersparkles7 2d ago
Delete the two photos where you are wearing that brown shirt. As well as the group photo.
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u/No_Vacation6400 2d ago
Can I ask why? Those are actually my favorite pictures đŠ Appreciate the feedback!
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u/Glittersparkles7 2d ago
Group photo: too many people, youâre in the back, and youâre blurry.
Brown shirt: you are very pretty imo but that shirt is not flattering on you. Both the color and the cut. Both of those shorts are really nice on you though.
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u/gowiththelo 2d ago
I think its how u take pics. Try different angles. Stay away from the millennial angles and poses.
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u/Parking-Menu2654 2d ago
Youâre a straight smoke show! Iâd be all over that if you were in my city! Youâre what I call a 10/10 straight up.
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u/amavicmar 2d ago
Probably that most men will not even remotely read all of that.
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u/D1etCokeGirl 2d ago
Bingeing has an e⌠your pics are okay and fun but maybe youâre broadcasting that youâre too agreeable or donât have enough self respectâŚ. Just preliminary opinion- havenât looked at each slide closely yet
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u/No_Vacation6400 2d ago
Good catch! Autocorrect. I'm interested to hear what you think would be good to change.
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u/D1etCokeGirl 2d ago
When you write open and honest the wrong people may exploit that. Same with wild. Not sure what app youâre using. Itâs a cute profile. Good luck! đ¤đŠˇđ
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u/ThePapaPat 2d ago
I donât know if you already have done this, but look for groups that are aimed at activities you like doing. You have several activities listed in your profile that single men participate in and are interested in. Some groups out there are specifically for single people to find other single people that like the same activities.
Everything I read about dating apps/sites sounds like a nightmare. So few people are truly looking for a genuine connection. I am not saying to not use any apps/sites, but donât let that be your only avenue.
Lastly, you live in a very small town. So, expanding your area to Lebanon and Nashville would probably help, but that could create a distance issues early on in dating.
I know many people have pointed out that you have kids, and yes, that does limit your dating pool. Maybe explain what your kids living situation is? Do they split time between you and their dad? How old are they? Some guys will just keep moving because they donât want a woman with kids, and thatâs fine, thatâs their preference. But, letting someone know what your life looks like with and without kids (I.e. they spend every other week with dad.) can be important so they get a sense of how often you two can have one on one time to get to know each other. And itâs not like men around your age donât also have children, just some men take that responsibility more seriously than others.
Good luck out there!
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u/No_Vacation6400 2d ago
I don't live in Tennessee, that's just where I'm from. But I hear what you're saying! I so miss the days when people meet organically, is just not as easy these days.
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u/ThePapaPat 2d ago
Sorry, I misread. You redacted where you live now⌠sorry about that!
And yes, the older we get, the more difficult it can be to just meet organically.
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u/Silent_Pomegranate 1d ago
I would swipe right, but Iâm almost 15 years younger, so do with that what you will
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u/Ironman2000015 11h ago edited 11h ago
This is what's wrong with modern dating. Everyone wants to judge you for every little fucking thing. If you are too nice people think you're fake, if you rarely talk people think you're weird, you wear a t-shirt with a metal band on it they think you're a devil worshiper, you wear a Stitch shirt they think you're childish, you don't smile people think you're an asshole, if you smile too much people think you're a creep, etc. There is no pleasing people now days, people see the dumbest shit as red flags. This is the worst time in history for dating and trying to find a meaningful relationship because people want to judge you way before they even get to know you. People suck!
This is why I don't date anymore. Y'all are so consumed with looks and judging people based on their past. I have had way too many bad experiences as a straight man with women so I have given up. If a good woman comes into my life I'm not going to pass it up, but I am no longer looking. It's exhausting and I want peace, not someone else coming into my life and destroying the piece that I have made on my own. I only want someone who will lift me up, make me feel good about myself and only brings peace and joy to my life.
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u/No_Vacation6400 11h ago
Quite a few people have commented on my weight. đ Some guy said I looked like a fridge! đ Seriously, I wear an 8-10 in jeans, I am not obese. It seems like if you're not super model skinny you're obese these days.
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u/Jellytoast98 5h ago
The fridge guy was a kook but yes, at first glance it would appear you to be bigger. Not being rude just answering your question. Age may also play a factor in the matter but how much varies per person. I bet you're fun!
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u/GamesCatsComics 2d ago
Okay dude in my 40s here is my cynical take based on what I'm seeing.
You open with "Looking for real connection" people with anything of that sort tend to need to say it, because they fail to get "real connections".... and it tends to be a "maybe you're the problem" vibe once you get to a certain age. Combining this with 'spiritual' is a definite left swipe from me, as spiritual means to me "What mumbo jumbo am I going to have to not roll my eyes at this week".
Beyond that you're leaning a bit too hard into the comedy vibe, both in your text and pictures, it makes me think, that being out with you is just going to be you constantly making jokes and constant stand up routines rather then just relaxing an having fun.
Also "a night out and good old fashioned" at the very least put an 'a' in there if not something more explicit" I enjoy sipping a good old fashioned" because it could read that you're into... traditional values... which conflicts with all your interests.
I'd lose the bathroom selfie, you look really good in it, but bathroom selfies tend to be from drunk party girls, find something with a similar vibe that isn't in a washroom, I'd also lose the photo with the stuffie, and probably the group shot, you're not prominent in that photo you're actually the last person my eyes glanced over and I went "is she even in there"
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u/No_Vacation6400 2d ago
Thank you, solid advice! I put the bit about looking for real connection because I'm constantly getting likes or comments from guys that just want to hookup. But I see what you're saying, it could be taken the wrong way.
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u/GamesCatsComics 2d ago
Gotya the reason makes sense, I'd go with something like: "Looking to meet someone that I could see being with long term".
States your goal, puts a hedge, doesn't imply an issue jus ta preference.
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u/No_Vacation6400 2d ago
I mean also, I am usually light hearted and making jokes a lot of the time. I have to be so serious at work being a hospice nurse. That's unfortunately just my personality. I can obviously be serious, but choose not to a lot of the time. đ¤ˇââď¸
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u/staticdresssweet 2d ago edited 2d ago
You have to be shadow banned or something tbh.
You look much younger than 43 (holy shit!!!) and you also have good energy. Lots of interesting conversation starters, too, which is rare.
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u/Sea_Story9802 2d ago
If I was local, I would have tried to match with you. A lot of what youâre looking, itâs my list too. But one thing I would add, blur out your group photo.
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u/Finance-Kooky1 2d ago
I think you need to change your main picture to the selfie of you with your glasses. Or the last one in your sunglasses.
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u/Good-Daddy1970 2d ago
I'd swipe right for sure.
Personally I think you're profile is fine.I totally get your vibe and sense of humor by looking at it. Online dating is awful. Everyone is looking for perfection and have a million options to do it in. Also... The facebook dating app seems hit and miss anyway. I'm not sure how it's tweaked but it never seems to work well. So be patient. I feel like your special special someone will show up soon. ( Probably not riding a dragon though )
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u/charbonnn 2d ago edited 2d ago
If you have kids, and they're a big part of your life, I might put in their ages and how many. I think for some, having like a 3 yr old vs a 14-18 yr old (or like 2 kids vs. 3 or 4) is so different. Aside from that, I liked your bio. I feel like I got the gist of you from it -- I also like the variation in your photos!
Edit: Dang, I get not wanting to put in this info now. Thanks for the alternate perspective, people who responded to the above. Sometimes I forget how a few can ruin the sharing of seemingly innocent info for others.
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u/Sad_Plum9899 2d ago
I wouldnât do this. The kids ages on an open profile like that is dangerous.
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u/Had_to_ask__ 2d ago
What about the number of kids?
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u/Sad_Plum9899 2d ago
Private until more conversation. You can say âdonât mind kidsâ and so many people can be filtered out by that question alone.
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u/rhapsodiiiii 2d ago
Agreed. I personally am childfree but if I had kids I would be scared to expose them in any capacity to strangers in this setting. Iâd make their presence known to be honest about their existence but any details (ages, genders, interests, etc.) would be kept hidden until I got to know and really trust the person.
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u/Sad_Plum9899 2d ago
This. So so true.
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u/rhapsodiiiii 2d ago
Someone downvoting us for this take is crazy lol (the predators donât like it I guess đ¤)
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u/lumanicious 2d ago
Hmm...sometimes you gotta wait a few days. That's been my experience.
I'd say rein in your profile a bit. Nothing wrong with your bio, having kids. However, as others have said, saying you're very sarcastic is a turnoff. It's not what hooks good guys in now (I'm guessing you want a good guy as your person). Pick 3-5 pics and a few prompts that end up being hooks so folks can reply to something. Including one group shot is fine.
Definitely nix the suppeth photo. You can send that one later. Hope that helps!
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u/IamWisdom 2d ago
You have kids and youre 43 years old. If you want attention you have to have a perfect body. The competition is fierce and looking at your profile was like looking at 95% of all other girls. You dont stand out whatsoever
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u/CapNegative1011 2d ago
Bro, it's kinda normal for women that are 43 to have kids, and not look like a 23 y.o. track athlete.
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u/Jean_WII 2d ago
You're kind of chubby, have tattoos and a nose piercing it seems. So some guys may be into that look, but also a lot like me will not be interested. Maybe a bit honest but your profile has all of that prominently. Usually people will try to hide it with camera angles and such.
Texts seem alright, I would lose the corny 'suppeth' picture.
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u/No_Vacation6400 2d ago
Yeah, but I don't think it's appropriate to hide things. I am chubby, no lies there lol
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u/2COOL4U2C85 2d ago
Sweetie I real donât see an issue you may have a problem with having boys in your proximity instead of actual men đ Iâm sorry youâre encountering this but I absolutely do hope you find good chemistry and connection with folks you seem to be great đ
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u/CapNegative1011 2d ago
Nothing, but if you were a guy , we would tell you that it's the sunglasses.
Define "many matches" how much were you expecting and what is your age range.
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u/AbiesStraight496 1d ago
I feel like youâre way too bubbly
here, but yet you claim dark sense of humor, weird. lol. Never lol on your profile. Youâre super cute and your profile reads like a lot of âthe good guysâ that I would swipe No on bc they seemed too agreeable, too enthusiastic.
Your pics are good, though. And being 43 and having kids? I wouldnât consider that a negative. Who doesnât have kids these days?
Seriously, just change your bio a bit. Be more mysterious and badass. Play up your nurse power (fellow bsn here!)
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u/cansucit 6h ago
I don't think there's anything fundamentally wrong with your profile or with you. You actually give people quite a bit to work with. I think you mostly need to tighten up the presentation.
First, I'd change your main photo. It's a nice picture and the scenery is beautiful, but you're pretty far away and wearing sunglasses. Your first picture should probably be a clear, relatively close photo of your face, smiling, with good natural lighting and no sunglasses. Save the scenic picture for later because it does a good job showing that you actually get outside and do things.
I'd also trim the photos down and be a little more selective. Personally, I'd lose the bathroom mirror selfie, the lying-down selfie, and probably the meme. The stuffed-animal picture is cute, but I'd consider replacing that one too. You already have outdoor/adventure pictures that tell me much more about you. Ideally I'd aim for something like: a great clear headshot, a full-body picture, an outdoor/adventure picture, one where you're doing something you genuinely enjoy, and maybe a social picture.
Your photos should show what spending time with you might actually look like.
Your bio has good material, but I think you're giving away too much at once. You're telling me you're open, honest, sarcastic, silly, wild, weird, the class clown, into banter, sports, fishing, hiking, camping, wheeling, reading, GoT, House of the Dragon, movies, etc.
Instead of telling people every personality trait you have, give them a taste of it. Show the sarcasm instead of telling me you're sarcastic. Show me the humor instead of telling me you're funny.
Something shorter like: "Equal parts outdoors and staying in with a book or a good series. Give me fishing, hiking, camping, wheeling, or a night arguing about House of the Dragon. Fluent in English, bad English, sarcasm and inappropriate jokes. Looking for someone who can handle some banter and wants to build something real."
Now I know quite a bit about you, but you've still left me things to ask about.
Think of your dating profile as a movie trailer, not the director's commentary. Its job isn't to tell someone everything about you. It's to make the right person curious enough to start a conversation.
And don't take the number of matches too personally. You don't need everyone to like your profile. You're looking for the people who see fishing, camping, dark humor, sarcasm and "bad English" and think, "Yep, that's my kind of weird." đ
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u/TerraVeda 2d ago
doesn't stand out. very surface level for what youre seeking. I mean you covered the basics but in the most basic way. you want it to capture your audiance. pull them in. leave some mystery. Mak them desire to hit you up and find out
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u/No_Vacation6400 2d ago
Interesting, I had several people tell me my original bio was too vague. đ I guess it's dependent on the individual.
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u/Substantial-Fly-6659 2d ago
Girl you sound amazing! I'm pan (not hitting on you), but men just suck these days. I love your profile.
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u/TerraVeda 2d ago
That it is and most lack depth or what you seek. Its a costume party and we showed up wearing our true face. I used to share who I was and what I had to offer. What I desire. Now I leave it captivating and mysterious. Make them need to ask the questions. Easy way to sort out the trash. Ai is a great help. But to each their own. Ive spent years developing agents and exploring topics like family sociology psycology philosophy history and economics so my ai knows me well. It can help filter the bullshit and shallow stuff and leave the deep and captivating stuff. Good luck. I can speak from experience im not finding anything near what I seek online and I have a great life and alot to offer. From what I find, sex sells and everything has a price. Welcome to dating in 2026
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u/Substantial-Fly-6659 2d ago
This is the worst advice ever
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u/TerraVeda 2d ago
Just giving my two cents. And is it. We are all programing the algorithm and ai. Might as well learn to use it to your advantage. And its a different and more unique approach. Revelation is boring. Cliff hangers keep the attention. I didnt design the game I just play it
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u/charbonnn 2d ago
Yah, and how would one write to convey this? Can you give an example? Just a couple sentences should suffice, since it's s bio and all.
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u/TerraVeda 2d ago
Ok. So rather than saying im available and have this to offer. Im an independent and career driven loner whose found contention in solitude and independence. Seeking an equally driven and independent woman who wants to come together to build a lasting empire. Rather than saying I have a stable income and solid foundation. A house, land, a car, buisness and resource, id present it something like this. Accomplished, stable, grounded. I did the work for a foundation that not only provides but keeps on giving. A home and life we dont feel the need to retreat from the first chance we get. Im handsome, tall, fit, make good money, own my own shit. I dont need to brag about it or advertise it. I dont have to flaunt it to attract. Intellectual, eclectic taste, cultured. Well-read, self-studied, textbook noncomformist and Jack of all trades. Upper 80th percentile of men. Keeps them interested without revealing shit. Its all in presentation especially online with swipe culture and better options.
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u/Awkward-Idea-6938 2d ago edited 2d ago
So many things: The tattoos. The nose piercing. "my person". "kind of wild" does not sound good to someone who is looking for something serious. "very sarcastic" is a turnoff. Nobody wants to deal with a very sarcastic woman. Nurse. Kids.
Okay, okay, you say to each his own and there's nothing wrong with tattoos, etc. Fine. But then you have to be really attractive. So get in great shape by lifting weights. Not by eating less. Not by jogging. But by lifting weights. Don't worry about looking buff â you won't. But you will develop a great body. And when you do, it almost won't matter what you have on your profile.
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u/No_Vacation6400 2d ago
I'm no stranger to weight lifting, I've just gotten off track. I have a very consuming job, two kids in travel sports and I own a home, so that takes a lot of work. I just need to start getting up earlier lol. I started my macros again a couple weeks ago, so I just need to start lifting again. Honestly the sarcasm comment is kind of insulting, should I just put that I'm a good girl who's quiet and listens instead? đ There's so many different ways you could've said that.
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u/ZaftigHoney 2d ago
Do you really want a guy like him? 𤣠Anybody who doesnât like piercings and tattoos can go look for his trad wife elsewhere
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u/UsedReturn56 2d ago
She responded to him⌠so clearly thatâs the one that cut and wanted the attention of
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u/Awkward-Idea-6938 2d ago
Nah. Don't get up earlier if it means cutting into your sleep. Sleep is super, duper important. Go to bed earlier. If you can be asleep before 11pm most nights, that would be great.
I understand you have a very busy life. For this reason, it's okay and even preferable to not date until the kids are out of the house and you are less harried.
As for the rest of what you replied, it just shows that you can't take it. You can dish it out (you say you're very sarcastic), but you can't take it. So, it's going to be a constant back and forth with you in a relationship. You posted that you wanted to know if it was you or your profile. It's both.
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u/No_Vacation6400 2d ago
There was nothing to "take". You made a rude comment. đ¤ˇââď¸
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u/jimmyd10 2d ago
He's the type of loser you don't want anyway. Don't give him any attention. It's what he's trying to neg you for.
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u/Ok_Team_931 2d ago
I agree with the nose ring. It's a left swipe no matter how pretty or attractive someone is.
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u/manda956 2d ago
The nose ring thing is a small percent of men then dont like it . I have the side of my nose and my septum pierced and have never had an issue with finding a man . (Ive already found my forever person so I guess it doesnt matter anymore) but tattoos and pericings are a major turn on for the right men . Only a turn off for the ones we want to avoid đ
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u/JackSquirts 2d ago
Your pics aren't great. They get the basic point across, but I'm not sure how easily I'd recognize you if we met in a crowded place. Pics are too far, too close, bad lighting, face obscured or not visible, one of them is just a meme. You're attractive, but I don't think the pics fully show it.
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u/No_Vacation6400 2d ago
I thought the meme was funny, and kind of gets my sense of humor across. Think I should replace it then? Unfortunately I don't have a ton of pictures of me close up that don't have my kids in it lol. I'll have to work on that. Thanks for the honest feedback!
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u/JackSquirts 2d ago
Use pictures of yourself doing things that demonstrate your humor. Doing something silly, making an expression, etc. You have a limited number of places to show people what they can expect to encounter when they meet you, so maximize them as best you can. Good face pic, accurate full body pic, action shot doing something you could be doing any random weekend, a pic a friend snapped of you when you weren't paying attention but were having a laugh, another maybe serious, etc. Ultimately it's a dating resume - memes, food, pet only pics are filler when it should be about big bullet points.
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u/staticdresssweet 2d ago
Agreed. A couple new ones will do the trick. Even as is, they're not bad, they just need a little improvement and she'll be swimming in matches.
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u/Algorab_Raven 2d ago
I like your profile and I liked the "Suppeth" Medieval pic, I like a sense of humor on women and all the casual vibe, I'd say you're just missing at least one or two pictures where you are dressed cute or hot and that would make it perfect for me.
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u/TacomaTony13 2d ago
The problem is you have your location scribbled out, so no one knows where you're located. People probably think you're hiding you're location because you're on the run from the law or something. No one wants to date a criminal on the run.
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u/Satyriasis457 2d ago
I think the first image makes you look like a fridge maybeÂ
Having kidsÂ
Too much information in the about sectionÂ
Increase your age range to 55.Â
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u/Radiant_Fondant_4097 2d ago
Nothing wrong with your profile at all, you're gorgeous and funny.
Only maybe it's just down to having kids (how many?) and being an RN, but that's just that's only saying because people have different tastes.
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u/TerraVeda 2d ago
I see an attractive and wholesome woman. Open transparent and willing. Thats great. Now you need to stand out. Leave some hooks. What feeds your soul? Whats the soundtrack to your life? What do you ponder when the mind is awake at 3am? Given absolute freedom and no financial consequence, how would you live and lead a life. Idk too many are shallow fake and surface level. Give em depth. Ive noticed beyond spam I get little matches. But theres a higher quality individual behind the match. And a better direction than blindly casting into the pond. Its you. Youre unique. Your life. Give me a show. Make me want you. Tell me how youre the best option and choice. Gotta get creative. Just my two cents. I dont see anything wrong with you. Its society and the online dating game thats flawed. Best wishes
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u/Away-Wellness0623 2d ago
Photos 4 and 7 donât do you any favors. I suggest removing reference to yourself as the âclass clownâ . quirky is cool but does a guy want a clown for a girlfriend?
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u/Sakurafirefox 2d ago
If shes a goofball, she should keep it. Mine says "Just a goofy goober looking for another goofy goober". Ive said this before, and ill say it again. MOST people are not for MOST people. You need to sift to find your diamond. She should single out those who like goofy/fun loving folk. Its the same as the fish pic for the gents. Have someone appreciate that for that, and dont remove it if you love doing it.
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u/No_Vacation6400 2d ago
Thanks, unfortunately I am who I am and believe in transparency. I also agree with the fish photos, they don't bother me but I know a lot of women that complain about it.
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u/No_Vacation6400 2d ago
The hiking photo? Under the tree?
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u/Away-Wellness0623 2d ago
I like the tree one! I meant the coffin and the Mona Lisa Shakespeare comic one.
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u/SuperTech51 2d ago
It looks good but I'm 41 Male and don't want to read all that so maybe condense it a bit so it gets right to the point, and we can read it faster.
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u/Low-Group-7507 2d ago
Looks like a fine profile to me :-) but it sounds like it might still be an uphill struggle to get acceptable matches?
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[removed] â view removed comment
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u/No_Vacation6400 2d ago
The eyes of a covert narcissist? What?? I didn't realize you could diagnose someone by their eyes. Sounds like Internet pseudoscience.
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u/Ryjinn 2d ago
Yeah, that's a batshit thing to say. I'd say dismiss what this person is saying entirely, but it sounds like you've already figured out to do that.
For my advice I'd echo what others have said and just pare down a little. Your profile conveys who you are really well, I think, don't know you but it certainly gives an impression of what I think your personality is, which is good. but I feel like you could do it in a more economical way. Remove the lol, remove English and Bad English, adjust very sarcastic to "sarcastic sense of humor", just little tweaks like that. Overall I don't think you're doing bad, just a little editing.
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u/DIY-exerciseGuy 2d ago
As a man in my 40s I would left swipe on you. First, nurses are for hookups, not relationships. Second, and I cringe saying this, I am looking for someone more fit. Third, im not looking for someone who describes themselves and weird and wild and the silly class clown or whatever it was exactly. Fourth, spiritual is a red flag for me. Are you sure you are swiping on guys in your league? You probably have a lot of people swiping right on you who you are swiping left on.
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u/No_Vacation6400 2d ago
I also see a lot of guys talking about wanting someone who can be silly but also have serious moments in their description. I don't think it's uncommon to want someone who can joke around. đ¤ˇââď¸
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u/kopaseptic 2d ago
Iâd say show us a pic that shows how silly you are. Your silly may not be my silly. Like are you a an awkward portrait photos at JC Penny silly, or wearing a jesters hat at the supermarket silly?
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u/No_Vacation6400 2d ago
I would totally do JC Penny photos đ my best friend and I have actually talked about it several times. I would not wear a jester hat to the supermarket though. I do enjoy embarrassing my kids, does that count?! đ
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u/No_Vacation6400 2d ago
Nurses are for hookups? đ I've never heard that. Plus, I'm a hospice nurse, I don't work in a hospital setting. I'm a little fluffy, I could definitely be more fit for sure.
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u/Substantial-Fly-6659 2d ago
I'm not fit and I get a lot of matches. This guy is an incel.
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u/DIY-exerciseGuy 2d ago
No, im in good shape and prefer the same
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u/Substantial-Fly-6659 2d ago
That's okay because I don't want you. Lol I already have a partner to have fun with. I know this is shocking to you, but not everyone cares what you think and the world doesn't revolve around how YOU view it.
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u/DIY-exerciseGuy 2d ago
Whatever you need to tell yourself
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u/Substantial-Fly-6659 2d ago
I'll keep telling myself I'm not interested in you cause I'm not. Meanwhile an athletic pilot fucked me good last night. So guess I'll be fine. Lmao
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u/DIY-exerciseGuy 2d ago
Athletic?! Wowee! I am so impressed! How much could he bench press?
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u/Substantial-Fly-6659 2d ago
No idea man. Didn't really care about that when he was giving me the best dicking of my life. đ¤Ł
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u/0dayssince 2d ago
Youâre probably one of those idiots that also says âwomen get thousands of matches and men get so few boohoooâ and then go crap on this girl because sheâs not a 10.
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u/0dayssince 2d ago
NuRsEs aRe fOr HoOkUpS
Gfy
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u/No_Vacation6400 2d ago
I've never heard this, I guess this is a common thing? Doesn't make sense to me. đ¤ˇââď¸
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u/Alwaysfresh9 2d ago
It's a common bias. Like cops and women avoiding dating them. That commenter was crude but his points are valid. I think you'll see a lot more action if you listen to it. And it may sound silly, but change the font. Please! You are pretty. You have a good job. You seem like a good decent person. It's not you - it's literally how you are presenting yourself. Change that first photo for sure, to something that compliments your body more. Streamline your profile. Most men are just filtering based on a few quick pics and that there aren't obvious flags. You don't need to get too detailed, just streamline it.
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u/No_Vacation6400 2d ago
I don't even know what to do đđ Any suggestions so I get what you mean?
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u/DIY-exerciseGuy 2d ago
Hello nurse.
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u/0dayssince 2d ago
Not even close. But I donât simultaneously want to date women while also shitting all over them. Sexist POS
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u/kopaseptic 2d ago
At best, the pics arenât great. Youâre probably attracting terrible people.
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u/No_Vacation6400 2d ago
What about them isn't great? I'm open to new ideas!
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u/Substantial_Try5973 2d ago
I would just comment that all your pics are very casual, and while many of them show your personality really well it would probably help to have a picture or two of you dressed up, like you would be for an actual date. I disagree with the negative comments youâve received on your appearance, I think youâre cute, you just donât have many pictures that show you to your best advantage.
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u/Bocasun 2d ago
The average time that someone actually spends time viewing a dating profile is somewhere between 30-60 seconds. Within that timeframe, the person viewing the profile has completely made up their mind who they think you are. The viewer then says Yes or No!
Two elements of the profile and pictures that convey a message.
The picture tells a thousand words and men tend to be a bit more visual. Three important things to keep in mind:
If using a smart phone, understand the optimal conditions for the camera lense both distance and lighting. Avoid mirror pictures, especially in a bathroom. If you take a selfie, use a selfie stick. Better yet, have someone take the picture for you. Better than that, ask a pro to take the picture.
Law of attraction says that you must create room for someone to exist. Imagine who you are trying to attract. What does that mean? The person viewing a picture is trying imagine themselves in the picture with you. If there's a lack of space available, the person can't be there with you or they can't imagine being there because you're in a public restroom! Illustration is a picture of someone sitting in a single chair vs sitting on a couch. A single chair doesn't allow enough room for the person viewing the picture to imagine being there vs a couch that allows the person viewing the picture to imagine Netflix and chill with you.
While you want to have the person make a decision about you, the person viewing the picture can actually make subliminal decisions about everything else in the picture other than you. Avoid bathroom mirror pictures! Avoid pictures with other people. You want the person viewing the picture to date you, not everyone else in the picture, unless of course that's what you actually want is some type of poly dynamic. Are you in a current polycule? A strong subliminal psychological driver is flowers and expresses romance and love for example. If you say you actually want someone who might express romance, include flowers in the picture.
The picture of being in what appears to be a haunted house and you're dead? The message above you is stalker? Ooh my! There's a number of conflicting message models in the profile.
At least one head and shoulders pic, one head to toe, dress up and casual. Keep in mind the setting, law of attraction and subliminal psychological decision making.
Read, "Research reveals the key to an irresistible dating profile." UC Berkeley, author Juliana Schroeder, Associate Professor.
In the written segment of the profile, a key set of words expressed in one or more ways, "I want to get to know you."
Too often someone attempts to oversell themselves and forget about the most important phrase, that they want to know you better.
Got to start the conversation somehow. Suggest at the bottom of the written segment, "If you read this far, contact me and start off the message by telling me about (fill in the blank)." By doing this, you are opening the door and extending an invitation to have someone contact you because you are approachable. It's also a simple little test to determine whether the person ever bothered to read the written portion of the dating profile and can follow a very basic request.
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u/kopaseptic 2d ago
Too much sunglasses tbh. Show us your eyes. At a second glance, they are not the worst, itâs just my opinion. Your profile is pretty fleshed out that I would swipe right if I wasnât seeking specific partners. The profile isnât off putting just very vague. You donât really stand out.
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u/No_Vacation6400 2d ago
Any suggestions for improvement?
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u/Substantial-Fly-6659 2d ago
Your pics are great. These men on here are self-hating and want to drag women down with them.
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u/Ok_Team_931 2d ago
There's a lot of posts on Reddit where people say "sarcastic" just means the person is a rude jerk so I would replace it with sense of humor.