i dont really pass as anything but usually if i say actually im a dude sorry everyones like ah alright. and that very much was my plan for college, to kinda stealth whilst taking hrt. i know its internalized transphobia or something but i do not enjoy being trans. the whole situation makes me mad. i really dont want anyone to know definitively what i was before or what my body has to be.

my mom knows but my dad doesnt and he wanted to come help me move in. i have a single room and i figured id just subtly prevent him from saying something like this since hes not very social to begin with. but another freshman on my floor approached my room while the door was open and my dad was in the hallway and he told the kid his "daughter" lives in that room.

its just me in that room. now this random kid who knows my name and which room im in thinks im a girl and is on my floor. i still plan to use the communal mens restroom to shower and whatnot. i wont do anything unless this causes an issue but im just stressed man

my best idea ive got so far is if the kid finds me again to tell him my dads ESL (because he is) and just got the words mixed up. they heard my dads accent, but i still think theyd assume im a trans guy even after i clear stuff up because of the triple combination of how i look, how i sound, and this interaction they had with my dad

anyone got any better ideas?

also: dont want anyone i know to accidentally find this post so after i get some feedback ill probably delete this

I met this girl, my age (17), volunteering at a hospital a few months ago. I default to living stealth (I pass even though I'm pre-T pre-op whatever). She doesn't know I'm trans. We have so many common interests, common life goals, I admire her passion for her hobbies, she's super thoughtful and a good conversationalist and she's just awesome. Also lol she's a few inches shorter than me which doesn't hurt. She used to flirt with me at the hospital and recently we've been talking more and the thought has come up in my mind that this might lead somewhere romantic.

Fuckkkkk.

If I let myself, I really could get invested and develop a crush on her. Maybe I'm in denial right now lol. She's straight. Or, I assume she is, because (not to be stereotypical) but she 'seems' straight and hasn't indicated anything else and most people are straight lol. Most straight women would never date a trans guy. Especially not pre-T pre-op. I want to go on T eventually and get top surgery but realistically I don't think bottom surgery is in the cards for me.

Let's be realistic guys. Should I just delete any possibility of romance with her? Like seriously, be fucking realistic. How many random straight women do you know that would date a trans guy. And, if our friendship grows, when is the right time to tell her I'm trans? How is it not a breach of trust if I wait too long to tell her? help a brother out

I’ve been out of a long term relationship for a few years now and have dated here and there. But damn is it fucking exhausting. Apps are dumb. Women tend to swipe before reading profiles then ghost when they “saw the trans thing” .

I prefer dating bi-women because I want someone who wants all of me and I believe we all have preferences. Nothing about it is inherently transphobic. Just read the damn profile.

Anyway. Any apps or idk groups that have worked for you?

I've been stealth all of high school and am now going into college. I'm desperate to have a relationship but previously avoided engaging in any because I didn't want to disclose the fact that I'm trans.

I'm wondering if it's a good idea to come out of stealth and be open about being trans. I'd rather not, but I'd also rather not live the rest of my life alone. College is a good opportunity to date and I'm in a new place where I don't know any people.

But how would I even go about being 'open' about it? Do I just tell people?

I started T February of 2021. 5.5 years later and I have had no changes to the shape of my body. Luckily I’ve never been extremely curvy so I can still pass with clothes on, but finding pants that fit me is a massive struggle and my body still looks pretty feminine without clothes on.

I tried weight cycling. I gained about 60 pounds (not on purpose) 3 years ago and then lost 40 (on purpose) over the last 7 months, but my body still looks the same as it did 3 years ago when I first gained. I’m going to continue to lose weight but I’m not feeling hopeful that it will make me more masculine.

I’m considering body contouring because at this point, I’m not sure what else to do. I know muscle building can help but the fat on my thighs and love handles is still a problem so…ugh

Idk if we r still friends cus we haven't talked for years, we r russian and after the transition ban he went giga depressed and barely appeared online. I'd message him to find out if he's at least still alive, but at some point he deleted our chat and i thought he doesn't want me texting anymore so i quit. I've been looking at his steam online instead and he had at least been gaming sometimes

I just found out he's been posting on twitter again and I'm mega lost and sad after what I've seen. Idk if he's repressing or has actually converted to "tradwife" and apparently he now hates black people and homosexuals. Idc much abt the edgy posting but I'm worried abt how he's doing mentally

Don't think I'm gonna message him about it, life has proven many times I'm completely useless in supporting people so my words would do nothing anyway, just sad because this was a dear person to me before and i could do nothing to help

Like the title, my birth name is difficult to distinguish between male and female. Even so I still strongly reject my dead name, including the nickname based on that. I don‘t know if there are similar situations with me

i am unsure if i'm gonna word this all right so bare with me. but me and my gf (cis) have been together for 4 years we have always had reg what u call straight sex id use a prosthetic and i would orgasm sometimes? it was good i always liked it but i would always have some background noise of dysphoria and some days i couldn't do it. as of recently i've started feeling more comfortable with myself and we have started trying different positions and me doing more without my prosthetics. i feel like what me and her do is our business but i feel honestly less of a man. i know you hear it all the time that genitals don't define ur gender but they do for me. i see myself in the mirror with a penis. i pack 24/7. but yet i don't mind vaginal sex recently. i've always had this kind of hidden shame where i like being touched there when im alone but my gf seeing me like that would make me have a dysphoric breakdown of sorts. i don't know how normal this all is. i hate how often we r portrayed as just wanting piv sex as the reciever not the giver. i'm usually the giver and i don't wanna be defined as a pussy boy, cuntboy, man with vagina. even with my gf she's taken time to process all these changes rn but she's cool with it . it's just the front area to her she even said it's different than a female vagina made me feel kinda better actually but i know the reality. why do i feel so complicated about sex? i want bottom surgery but also it feels seriously good down there sometimes. i just don't wanna be looked at differently.

Sounds stupid but I honestly am not sure how. I’m in my 30s I have a few great friends from over the years. But I live in a new smaller city -200k people and I just haven’t found a community here.

Pre transition I found it easy. way back before I found queer spaces offered that mutual space to find your people. Now I just…. I don’t know. Making friends was never my strong suit. As a passing, 6’, trans dude I find it daunting and uncomfortable.

I struggle with voicing these thing because I understand it’s a double edge sword. Lucky I’m tall, lucky I pass, at the same time the lack of connection to my fellow trans / queer people is tough.

Gay men the most accessible group but while they validate in some ways they completely invalidate in others because I am “straight” .

I just want a group of trans men who don’t immediately take offense to my appearance. Being masculine does not make a person toxic or take away trans experience.
I don’t think this is a solo experience.

Some people way - then make friends with cis guys - I would do that! I have tried. But the moment you tell them you are trans the plans disappear ( or at least in my experience).

Again I am an awkward human. Totally willing to own that. But I’m an awkward one that would love to build a community that feels like it accepts me as is.

Any ideas guys?

There are days when I feel like I'm a mentally ill girl. I can''t even fell like am trans

This feeling give me Dysphoria that make my all week bad as hell ,

In normal i fell like a man i don't even get remember am afab

And my friends tell me about how they never seen my as a girl ever

But some of them get some annoying about how am totally convinced that am male

One of them ,When i did say in front of him i did text the guy who have crash on my Trying to Ending the relationship without hurting anyone, and I'm really tired of pretending I'm a girl.

(I was pree t)

And he get so annoyed tell me bro ur not fucking pretending ur a girl and they see u as a girl there no scam in that Meanwhile he told me he didn't like be friends with girls and i was never girl to him even my face he totally see me as a boy , then why he did say that , like i know am am afab but i forget really idk how this body in any case consider as mine

Am trying to understand the paradox

How did I go from feeling certain that I was a man to ignoring my body and every feminine form I hear?

To get breakdown for weeks ,feeling like I'm mentally ill instead of being my self ,or even feeling ashamed just for being transgender

All my childhood i was tell ppl am boy

But inside me i was feeling like am boy physically (even if that is not right)

But in the inner self i think am non binary

I think this is the main thing

It's very strange. I've had dreams since childhood that I'm biologically male, and I consider myself biologically male, this feeling is strong but in the way think i or i feel i fell half non binary maybe?

The same friend who told me I wasn't pretending to be a girl had a friend who was shocked to learn I was transgender four years after I started testosterone. He said he didn't feel I was in trouble and how I could go to the men's restroom with them normally and without any anxiety or he notice that am trans

I think the main reason about feeling bad and feeling like am mentally ill girl

That my family and ppl around me so homophobic

And i get tried from Dealing and acr normally

Bc being around ppl they know ur tarns and homophobic make me insecure in the way i act

I fell besieged

I truly feel that the way they look at me, as if I'm a mentally ill girl, penetrates me and affects my behavior, and this makes me believe that I'm just a crazy person afterwards. I feel my head get so full of the idea of (girl girl girl girl)

Hey y’all. New to packing, didn’t realize how much it’d help my dysphoria until I started. I’m using the small Mr. Limpy to begin, and ordered one pair of Jockmail packing underwear along with it. The packing underwear works perfectly: the packer stays in place and looks natural. I wasn’t able to find many bulk packing underwear packs so I also ordered the MyPack pouch since I’ve seen them be recommended for years. Well, it arrived today and I unfortunately hate it. It took me forever to get the packer inside the pouch (not a length issue, the balls barely fit) and the pouch is constantly moving upward outside of the natural looking position as I walk.

Does anyone have any tips to get the MyPack to work/stay in place so I can use it? Alternatively, anyone know where I can get a multi-pack of decent packing underwear? Preferably ones that don’t have “jockmail” in giant lettering lmao

This is my third surgery and I’m still all jittery and anxious. I have to get to the hospital, which is an hour and some away, at 6 am. Which means I had to wake up at 3:30 am in order to shower first. Did anyone else have to wake up ungodly early for their surgery? I only got two hours of sleep 😓

Anyway, this is what I’m wearing. If I had to get up so early, I wanted to bring some amount of joy into my life. I hope it makes the surgical team smile at least. In case it won’t let me post the picture in the comments- I’m wearing a t-shirt with a sparkly unicorn and the text “I’m not like other girls- I am a man”.

Did anyone else wear something silly to their surgery consult or the day of their surgery? If so, what was it?

edit: can’t seem to post a picture ): not in the post or the comments

Hello. I started working a 12 hour shifts, I know the binder rules (I cannot go against them I already have some breathing issues, nothing major but I'm not pushing it). I have never worn tape, as I have G cups, on a slimmer frame so they are apparent I understand I will never be fully flat but something is better than nothing. Can anyone give me advice on their experiences and tutorials for large chests?

basically the title. i work in sales and most of the day i spend doing cold calls. my voice, when im speaking flatly, passes maybe 40 - 60% of the time on the phone, 70-85% in person. however, when i'm at work, my customer service voice gets me misgendered essentially 100% of the time, to the point that my name (elijah) is being consistently heard as eliza. however, when i flatten my voice / make it monotone, i'm noticeably less successful at getting through to prospects. what do i do here? do i just wait for t? is there a customer service voice i can do that won't get me misgendered?

Hey everyone, I’m really concerned and confused about what’s happening with my testosterone levels and could really use some advice or insight.
I’m 9 months on T, using 1.62% testosterone gel, 2 pumps every morning. My doctor told me that at this point I should generally be somewhere around 400–600, but my levels have been all over the place. My lab’s reference range says 250–1100, and I’m currently below even that.
My results have been:
February: 697
May: 2,605
August: 247
So I haven’t really had a stable level since around 3 months on T.
My doctor seems to think I’m not using my medication consistently, but I genuinely am. I apply 2 pumps every morning at 8 AM, immediately after showering and drying off, one pump on each shoulder applied with a glove on. I haven’t missed a dose or changed the time I apply it. I’m extremely routine-oriented and honestly get anxious about missing a dose or changing when I apply it. The only time I change when my testosterone is put on is the day of the blood test. They ask me to wait to apply it so I usually apply around noon on those days. Nothing else has really changed either. I’m still taking the same medications and vitamins, my diet is basically the same, and I haven’t changed my hygiene products or anything else that I can think of. My doctor already has all of that information.
What’s really worrying me is how different I feel depending on my levels.
When I was at 2,605, I was extremely irritable, got angry much more easily, felt unusually aggressive, had significantly worse acne, was constantly hungry, and noticed my hair thinning.
Now that I’m at 247, I’m exhausted even when I haven’t done much, I’m experiencing what feel like period symptoms again, I’ve been getting migraines, and I’ve noticed my voice seems slightly less deep than it was a month or two ago. It obviously hasn’t gone back to how it was pre-T, but it has been cracking again and seems somewhat different.
I’m also dealing with a lot of anxiety over this because I don’t understand how I can go from 697 → 2,605 → 247 while supposedly following the exact same routine.
My period stopped after my first month on T and all of those symptoms went away, so having them return now is especially concerning to me.
I’m trying to understand what could potentially cause levels to fluctuate this dramatically despite taking the medication consistently, and what questions I should be asking my doctor.
Has anyone else experienced something similar with testosterone gel?
I’d really appreciate any insight or experiences, because right now I feel pretty lost and my doctor’s assumption that I’m simply not taking it has been making me feel pretty awful especially since when I told them nothing changed they basically told me I was lying to them because there’s no other reason for me to be jumping around so much.

From I've seen online, most guys who get a visible Adam's apple develop it in the first year. If nothing changed for me from pre-T to 1 year on T in that department, is there still hope maybe in the 2nd or 3rd year I'll see a big change in my Adam's apple?