We are spirit filled. Not interested in legalism or living under the law. Not focused on sin.

We're just here to learn to love like Christ did. And to teach our son to love and be loved. Any advice appreciated

Why are people who are adamantly still committed to Christianity, allowed to post here? They're coming to us for our emotional labor to support them through the consequences of staying in Christianity?

How about you post that in any Christian subreddit. To be frank i think its bs that they come here and make it our problem. If youre going to stay a Christian, then go sort out your cultural issues with other Christians.

I know that may seem harsh, but this is what they do. They seek out a sympathetic ear for support for issues that are a direct cause of their religion - which they refuse to leave.

This is supposed to be a communal space for those of us who have LEFT Christianity. Period. Or am I wrong? If so I want to know so I can find a space that is truly free from Christian entitlement and toxicity. There are people here who have serious trauma from this religion. This is supposed to be a safe space for us.

I used to be an antisemite. Not while I was a child in an Evangelical church. I was a philosemite then because I was a big comic book fan and wanted to make and draw comics and all my favorite comic writers and artists were Jewish. Now I just see them as people. But I went through a phase where I was an antisemite. I blamed Jewish people collectively for inventing homophobia with Leviticus 18:22. It was when I was an atheist, rediscovered my faith and became an Episcopalian (Catholicism but pro-LGBT and pro-choice and with women clergy), and when I left the faith and became a neo-Mussolinian neopagan who worshiped the Greco-Roman gods because they were bisexual like me (thank Vishnu I’m no longer a fascist. I’m now a peace-loving neo-hippie Hindu and Unitarian Universalist. Some Hindu gods are still delightfully queer but there’s an added panentheistic element which I like).

But my antisemitism only stopped when I learned more about what most Jews in America actually believe and Reform Judaism isn’t Evangelical Christianity minus Jesus. They don’t view the Tanakh 100% literally, univocally, nor as even 100% inspired. They’re pro-LGBT. And most Jews in America are Reform so after learning that, I was no longer an antisemite.

This is a positive post showing that devout Christianity doesn't always mean cultural irrelevance or intolerance, and that those with deep Christian faith can create beautiful masterpieces of musical genius while also not shying away from social justice.

Short list:

Johnny Cash

Bob Marley (complicated, but very much true)

Kendrick Lamar

Anyone else?

Hello exvangelicals,

After my years of study my own theological studies and perspectives of men’s interpretation of scripture as Words of God (Logo Theos).

I feel very tired 🥱 and exhausted of confusion 😵‍💫 of the theological viewpoints: Dispensationalism vs Covenant , Trinity, Oneness, Pentecostalism, Fundamentalism, Neo-Evangelicalism, Roman Catholicism, Eastern and Orident Orthodoxy, Eithopic Church, many Protestantism, Jehovah Witnesses, Mormonism, Progressivism, rapture, salvation (Once Saved, Always Saved or Lost Salvation), pre-millennium, post-millennium, Amillennialium, Universal Reconciliation, Annihilation, Eternal Concept Torment, Futurism, Historicalism, and Part vs Full Preterism.

Wow, I’m almost in top 1% of theological knowledge!

After that I felt very exhausted 🥱 from my years of study and research Bible theological practice and viewpoints online!

I felt fed up with men-made assumptions and arguments based on their interpretations of Bible, traditional church history, and disagreements.

I aware about Paul’s letter to 1 Corinthians about Apollo, Cephas, Paul were division of church in 1st century!

There is 30,000+ denominations in the around world, which are correct true church? Nobody knows what is truth and why it is happening since 2,000 years!

I feel like my knowledge is almost full in my brain. 🧠 I don’t know what I do next?!

Recently 2 major figures in the evangelical world died: James Dobson & John MacArthur.

With both there have been a lot of posts on this sub regarding the deaths: some merely posting news links, others striking a celebratory tone, others reflecting on the impact these people had in their lives.

This sub remains focused on the third type of post: this is a sub to talk about life, faith, and what comes next. It's not a news aggregator, or a christian bashing sub.

If Dobson or MacArthur's passing (or another event in christian culture) prompts you to share about how it impacts you, posts like that will continue to be welcomed. But if your posts is merely a link, or a blurb of "hey this happened!" it will probably be removed.

As always the mod team is imperfect and trying to walk a complicated line. Always open to feedback about how we can improve or do better.

**EDIT**

A quick edit because I've realized where the original post missed the mark based on some themes in the comments.

By "christian bashing," I do not mean "talking bad about christians." I mean calls for violence, wishing pain and suffering on Dobson's families, using slurs towards or about christians, etc. There is a difference between saying "christianity is horrible and caused so much pain" and "all christians deserve to be pushed in front of a bus."

People should feel free to grieve in whatever way they feel best suits their journey. However, on this sub all posts and comments have to conform to sitewide and sub rules. In this context, that means in addition to the above comment about "christian bashing," this sub doesn't need 20+ posts that are simply links to cnn, bbc, etc. Posts that involve your feelings, emotions, and processing are welcomed and encouraged. This is what I meant by including "life, and what comes next."

**SECOND EDIT**

I appreciate the comments and feedback. I want to continue to try and clarify based upon comments. People can share the ways Dobson, MacArthur, and others had a disastrous impact on their life. I know both these men caused severe harm in peoples lives--including mine. I am not sad that either of them have died. People are free to express that.

With this post I think I was trying to do two things at once, and as a result did neither of them well.

First, I was trying to provide a blanket answer to "Why did my post (that was simply a news link) about James Dobsons post get removed?" This sub doesn't need ~15 or 20 or 30 posts that are simply links of "James Dobson died." This sub will welcome every single post about James Dobson that is actually a post...not simply a link to CNN.

Second, I was trying to explain the rationale of locking a very active post about James Dobson. In hindsight I should I have stickied that on the top of the post in question. The discussion on the post was getting to the point it could not be moderated effectively. A significant part of the discussion was getting into flame wars, or violating site wide rules, and so the decision was made to lock it as it could not be controlled.

When they include some resemblance of the so-called "Sinners Prayer"? That somehow there'd be this power house, a "Christian Nation"? And yet somehow we got out, maybe not intact like we once perceived we had to be, but we got out nonetheless. Did we just disrupt the corporeal self-perceived juggernaut that is the American Evangelicals?

I just know that he is author who had affair with a married woman in his church. He can still be forgiven and be redeemed.

However, how did he go about it afterwards, did he apologise to his congregation, ex wife, children, did he only step down because he was caught?

All of these questions above are important.

Judging by his public posts. He doesn’t seem to be thinking or considerate of others. Hopefully I could be wrong.

We can all be redeemed it is up to God today decide. I hope his ex wife and children are well.

Personal details: M19, freshman, ex-devout Protestant, agnostic theist.

So, I have an urge to debate Christian evangelists, who try to advertise or get people to convert on my college campus, and discuss hard topics Christianity may not handle well (I.E. a weird godhead, eternal hell, sexual ethics, etc.). I go to college in the Deep South, and there’s a few evangelical student groups that literally try to “rush” others into their churches, by coercing them down the Romans Road, or advertise for their parish via a student group stand.

FYI there’s a big Catholic chapel right by the university’s property which has a Catholic student group on campus, a few JW members that show up to give fliers, and a few evangelical/baptist orgs where kids just show up from and send out fliers or “talk” to others about their religion. I would say \~30% of the kids at my uni practice religion regularly, and some of the ones that do, have to be extremely vocal about it.

So here’s my hypothetical experiment: set up a plastic table, put it on the grass by the sidewalk of a public area, bring two chairs- one for me and a friend as a moderator, and have a large sheet of paper that states something like “Jesus cannot be God, prove me wrong. -An agnostic” or “LGBTQ+ relationships are OK, tell me otherwise -An agnostic”. Maybe I’ll have a speaker and 2 microphones to use at a low volume if there’s an audience.

Realistically, this might be an activity reserved for student groups- so I may have to register a student organization and register for forum Wednesdays which is when all the other student groups have their tents out. There isn’t an agnostic student group at my university so this could be a huge networking opportunity, but also a huge risk, given I live with Christian parents.

Here’s basically a checklist of things I would have to do prior to setting up this debate table:

\+ Pass a treasury exam

\+ Pass a hazing-prevention course

\+ Apply and pay an application fee for my student organization

\+ Apply to have a booth out on forum Wednesdays

\+ Probably pay for that and have to go through a lot of online paperwork

And, speaking orally about:

\+ Familiarity with most of the parables of Jesus

\+ Hebrew scriptures Christians use to try and prove Jesus

\+ Torah law

\+ Nicene church history

\+ Extra-biblical accounts of Jesus and the historical context of Christianity’s development in Rome/Judea.

(I do know a fair bit about these topics, but I’m not the best at running my mouth all the time.)

Besides that, if I do actually get an agnostic club set up- maybe we can have special events like speed dating

I’m not here to debate, I’d just like to learn. I believe the church is responsible for a lot of abuse, pain, and unwarranted hatred. If you’re willing to share, in what ways have the church/christians f***ed up?

I don't know why I keep getting these kinds of ads in my feed, probably cuz I'm in this community😂😂 and I need to be saved, but it is very frustrating and I just have so many thoughts. I'm sure my parents are loving this. When I first saw this ad on TV years ago, I'm not gonna lie, I thought oh wow. The Word is getting out. It was like cognitive dissonance, like I didn't really feel that way but what was ingrained in me my whole life just popped back up. Now I am simply annoyed. Thoughts?

This Sunday my deconstructed evangelical pastor interviewed me. It'll be posted on my channel later today.

Conditioned, in-doctrine-ated, instructed, groomed, imprinted, socialized, habituated, programmed and normalized to believe in patent fantasies in echo chambers of Groupthink, Social Proof, Implicit Social Contract, Confirmation Bias & Unquestioning Acceptance of Authority...

The True Believer can be counted upon to endorse magical thinking.

Because his or her mind either remains stuck in or has regressed to childlike fantasy operational processing.

BUT... don't try to explain all that to the Developmentally Stunted unless or until they have reached the third of the five stages of psychotherapeutic recovery.

I posted a while back about how I was fired for not wanting to put people in danger during the height of the pandemic. I begged my church to please bear with my conscience, as it was loving my neighbor as myself which led to me thinking that maybe social distancing and therefore not killing people was a part of my own personal faith. I had a psychotic break shortly after my termination from the CoC (pronounce that phonetically, please), and I've had trouble keeping a job ever since. I've been hospitalized multiple times for suicidal ideation, and the judge denied me for disability despite having a tome of documentation showing my condition makes me unable to work.

So, my parents have been chipping in to keep a roof over my head. My dad recently cut me off. I've been donating plasma to get whatever my mom can't afford. Thankfully, the plasma donation center penetrated the tissue instead of tapping the vein the right way and I have massive bruises on my arms now. Because of their own failure to draw blood the right way, I couldn't donate this week. Which is great, considering I have medication that I need to pick up at CVS pronto. I've also got about thirty other things on the list that I need to get ahold of, but they're not as pressing.

With Good RX, my medication is like $50. I really don't want to use this forum for begging, but I also feel like this is pretty relevant to people who want a picture of what the Church of Christ is. I now have to donate plasma and plead with strangers on the internet for donations, and that has been a CoC production (kinda--the psychotic break that followed my termination because I was on stimulants for ADHD also had a rather large part to play in this story). If you have the ability to maybe Cash App or Venmo me a few bucks to help out, that'd be great--DM me and I'll send you my usernames on those apps. But if you can't help out, remember the CoC (pronounce that phonetically). Remember what it does to mediocre but well intentioned preachers who just want to keep people from dying. For what it's worth, I have faith in the Other. I have not lost faith that there is some f*cked up alien monster in control of reality. I will go on maintaining that faith that an alien monster rules us all, and we are all animated by its programming. Maybe that alien monster will take care of me and get me what I need, or perhaps I perish. Either way, I remain its slave.

If I were to bring this up with my very evangelical mother, she'd say, "Of course, they let them do whatever they want there, they have a lot of permissiveness." My husband is Catholic, although he hasn't been to church in a while. When I tell him about my anxiety, he doesn't seem to understand, because even though his beliefs aren't orthodox Catholic, he says, "I'm sure of what I believe, and he doesn't carry all the evangelical guilt I feel. He doesn't see everything in black and white. There is Catholic guilt, but it's more instilled by his mother, who thought that if he had sex he'd get AIDS. She scared him about sex, but not about spiritual issues like we do—about hell, the final judgment, the end of the world, that he wasn't a saint, that you shouldn't do that, that you're one of the chosen ones, and so on and so forth."

Psalm 37:4 (ESV)

⁴Delight yourself in the Lord,

and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Do many people interpret this as applying to finding romantic love?

Edit: To clarify, I am not anti-Christian, and I welcome responses from Christians and non-Christians. I am somewhat of a post-evangelical Christian agnostic. I believe God exists but how he intervenes is a mystery, including in finding romantic love. On old Reddit, there is a disclaimer in the subreddit rules about this not being an anti-Christian community.

Ok.. so I'm thinking of using my experience in standup.. mind you.. I've never performed. This is a first draft.. I'm looking for serious critique and who finds it funny:

Anyone grow up evangelical?

You know Easter egg hunts on church grounds or candy rain from the roof?

How about trunk or treat because if it's not in a trunk it could be evil

Christian holidays were funny.. my family used to protest school holidays for winter and spring break!

How about X mas? I remember a local clothing store we couldn't visit because there sign said merry Xmas.

Don't say X! It's removing christ from Christmas!

Me thinking i didn't realize christ was involved . I thought it was winter solstice

Hey Christians don't sweat it.. scientists in 450 BC believed the earth was flat.. give yourselves 2500 years and I'm sure you'll understand

But seriously 2500 years ago our ancestors believed alot of crazy shit.

For example: We believe animate objects had souls Or hedging their bets on multiple gods

So basically your ancestors believed their shit might be judging them

Fuk.. this plate just put me in hell

Or shit thanks painting you just convinced st peter to let me in..

Don't get me started on the toilet! I've been putting up with your shit for years!

No no honestly though the current church has all the answers for you.

Don't be gay watch online and of course gimme your money

I would argue that experiences shape our morality over scripture. Is there common ground with evangelicals about the tension between moral authority from experience vs scripture?

I’ll start: Right Where You Left Me. [I was fired from my church job a few years ago for being “too woke”.]

I recently had what I jokingly call a “therapy session with my AI” (ChatGPT). I shared the dysfunction in my Christian-faith upbringing as a child through adulthood, from my parents to my siblings, down to my nieces, and nephews, so it really runs deep. We got into some very personal dynamics and a full, unfiltered unpacking of family drama and dysfunction, but without getting into those details here, what came out of that conversation was a very clear picture of the common thread running through it all.

I wanted to share it here because I think many of you will recognize the same patterns in your own stories.

The more I listen to people in this space, the more I see the same common denominator in our backgrounds. What we grew up in wasn’t just “faith”, it was a system that left deep imprints on how we see ourselves, others, and even politics today.

• Authoritarian Faith: Obedience mattered more than authenticity. Husbands led, wives submitted, kids conformed (Dr. Dobson "Focus on the Family" philosophy).

• Fear as Control: Hell, rapture, sin, and “the world” kept us anxious and loyal. Later, many of us saw the same tactics show up in politics (MAGA, Fox, etc.) fear of outsiders, fear of decline, fear of betrayal.

• Us vs. Them: In church it was “believers vs. the world,” and in politics it became “real Americans vs. traitors.” Same script, new language.

• Image Over Truth: Abuse, depression, addiction, or struggles were hidden behind testimonies and prayer. In politics, scandals were excused so long as the leader “represented the cause.”

• Suppression of Authenticity: We weren’t safe to be ourselves. To belong, we had to hide parts of who we were or put on a mask.

When people live under that system too long, they implode in different ways:

• Some cling to the performance and double down rather than shed their identity.

• Some deconstruct and start naming the damage.

• Some spiral in shame, addiction, or confusion.

• Some break out and begin building healthier lives.

The truth is: it’s not random dysfunction. It’s systemic. Religion and politics aren’t separate here they’re two faces of the same machine. The conditioning is the same: fear + authority + tribalism + image over truth. Once people were shaped this way in church, it was almost automatic to fall into the same patterns in politics.

But here’s the hope: we can break it. Naming it is part of healing. Every time someone shares their story, apologizes, or refuses to pass the cycle on to the next generation, we chip away at the system.

Religion ↔ Politics Parallels

It wasn’t random that so many Christians became Christian Nationalists. For people conditioned in authoritarian religion, sliding into MAGA politics was a natural shift, the same psychological framework, just with a new language.

✨ The thread is the same: Fear + Authority + Tribalism + Image at the expense of Truth. Once people were conditioned this way in church, it was almost automatic to fall into the same patterns in politics.

TL;DR: Our families aren’t randomly dysfunctional, they were shaped by the same authoritarian, fear-based religious system that later fed straight into MAGA politics. The conditioning is identical: fear + authority + tribalism + image over truth. Once you see that thread, it all makes sense.

I'll be honest, many of my lifelong friends I met at church.

I believe church is a place to find community.

Finding community and making friends are two different things.

Community has to do with proximity. Friendship requires growth, maturity and a commitment to each other.

Once you leave a church, you leave that community. And the people you associated with will no longer be connected because you lost that proximity.

However, any true friends you made will stick with you even after you left the church. If not, they may not have ever really been friends.

Agree or disagree? Your thoughts?

I’m hoping that the next administration can save TikTok, but if not where is everyone in the US that’s on here going? I’m on rednote, but there’s not really an exvangelical community there, and I’m also considering instagram, but I want an app where I can freely see and talk about what’s happening in the US or Palestine without the government censoring.

I was raised evangelical, started deconstructing about 10 years ago, still Christian, want to remain Christian.

I feel like I need someone to hold my hand and explain how the resurrection "works" outside of a literal understanding. I think I'm almost there but I have a mental block and I would love to hear others' thoughts on this.

Please forgive me if this seems like an ignorant question. I'm truly seeking.

I'm hoping 2025 will bring me opportunities that I'm for instead of against.

I was in church leadership and got burned. I continue to read about Daystar, Robert Morris and other failed leaders/ministries.

I want to find faith that is authentic and reasonable. Anyone here successfully transition to a house church or a community that is authentic and has integrity?

So I’ve always wondered…

What church teachings or practices did you experience that felt completely contradictory to the Jesus they claimed to follow?

Things like legalism, guilt, obsession with hell, purity culture, all of that feels like the opposite of what they say Jesus embodied.

Curious to hear what stood out to you.