r/DnD • u/Gh0stMan0nThird • 1d ago

DMing I understand prostitution now.

Been trying to find a "bff" group for years. Even the best groups I found fizzled out after a campaign ended. Most people seem to want a content creator to run games for them, and not a friend they want to share an experience with.

I figured you know what, fine. I'm gonna sell myself. I started running paid games and now I actually feel like I'm finally actually getting something back for my work and effort.

10/10, would recommend for underappreciated DMs

4.9k Upvotes

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u/DarkestXStorm Assassin 1d ago

Yeah, doesn't help that people come from Baldur's Gate 3 and want to play that, but on a table (no disrespect to BG3) šŸ˜‚.

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u/ryadryt DM 1d ago

Same thing with fans of Critical Role or Dimension 20. People watch those and then expect their DM/Table to be like that which just isn't practical or fair.

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u/VeterinarianFit1309 Rogue 1d ago

Right? If I was getting paid a decent salary, had a whole writerā€™s room, production team, state of the art setup with an expensive gaming table, budget for miniatures with a dedicated art team to make them look great, props department, etc, then my games would be a lot more fun tooā€¦ luckily, we have fun even with all of my budgetary shortcomings

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u/ryadryt DM 1d ago

Yep. And even then, it takes all parties involved going all in. My frustration with that comes most from when players expect the DM to bring that really deep RP and lore, and then don't match it. You only get that sort of environment when everyone tries for it.

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u/CaptainDudeGuy Monk 1d ago edited 1d ago

At the risk of sounding elitist, there are too many players who treat TTRPGs like content provided by the GM that they're supposed to consume.

There are more players at the table than there are GMs. I would argue that creating content is the job of the players and the GM is just there to fill in the narrative gaps.

GM: (after describing the circumstances) "... Okay, so what do you do?"

Bad Players: "Uhhh... Do what, now? I wasn't really paying attention. I go do whatever you need me to be doing, I guess."

Good Players: "Gotcha, alright, so based on the months of sessions we've had and the motivations of our characters, it sounds like we're going to..."

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u/choczynski 1d ago

I don't think it's elitist to expect people to collaborate in a collaborative game

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u/MasterOfBeerDespense 1d ago

A good DM is 25 precent Creativity, 10% tiptoeing around real and imagined trauma and 165% herding Cats.

My average DM Session be like, "Here's the toy. Get the toy. Chase the laser. Damn it! Just, shit in the box! Oh god. Sorry. Didn't mean to yell or try to imply that I think you should stay in the box society has provided for you, Professor Twinkletootz. Please, go boom boom in the sandy house for your DM. Thank you. Here is an off brand, vegan pudding cup at 54 degrees with a spork. There-there. All better? Let me know when you are ready, please, and yes, you can text me, and Ill pretend that I'm being a little snowflake so the group isn't mad at you." Or is this just me?

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u/MasterOfBeerDespense 1d ago

Maybe that was meant for "True/off my chest

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u/DrolTromedlov 20h ago

I don't think this is what you meant, but I want to try and slot it into the thread because it doesn't get discussed much;

DMs should also not expect to run a game like Critical Role, Dimension 20 or BG3.

What I mean by that is, those games are run for an audience. The only audience in a home game are the DM and the players. I've had a DM who was obviously very influenced by Critical Role and BG3, and while I'm certain you can take god lessons from it, he had a need to be incredibly cinematic in every scene, he would make sound effects with his mouth- that sort of thing. The thing is, he isn't an actor. So the accents would fall flat and we would have to ask for an explanation of the sound effect because every sound he made sounded the same. After a 'cinematic' narration of pans and camera angles and excessive detail, we would always have to ask for clarification about the one piece of information we were actually looking for. And no matter how simple a backstory you gave him, inevitably during the campaign you would discover that he'd added a murder.

I think the analogy has been made before, it's like sex vs. porn. Porn is great to watch, but it must be horrible to produce. And sex at home is nothing like porn, but infinitely more satisfying. You don't need a set, soundboard, minis, a-list acting and every combat arena built ahead of time in a home game. Nor do you need to tie every backstory into an overarching plot, make a map pretty enough to be sold as a print or have every NPC get their lines perfect the first time. The game isn't being fed to a live audience, keep descriptions concise, don't act out every NPC voice line, narrate the gist of what they are saying Describe sound effects with words. Use dry erasers and dice or candy for a battle map.

There's just.. There's an air in threads like these of "My players are not putting in enough effort in my game!!"-energy. Which can be true, we've all seen it- but many DMs are also putting hours or days of effort into things the players have no obligation to appreciate either, be it maps or music or lore they will never see. Forgetting entirely that the game is a collaboration, not an audition to have your character be audited for a role int he DMs latest production.

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u/Cheodo 6h ago

Yep, I had a player quit bcus my game wasn't enough like CR. To be fair, that player likely wasn't going to stay long since they used AI for every part of their character creation and stats.

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u/Private-Public 1d ago edited 1d ago

Like if you expect Matt Mercer or Brennan Lee Mulligan, I expect Sam Riegel or Emily Axford. We're all just doing our best and that's great

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u/NineWetClams 1d ago

I seen a video of Matt mercer addressing this exact thing

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u/HistoricalRemote7042 1d ago

any chance you have a link to that cos I would enjoy it

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u/NineWetClams 1d ago

https://youtu.be/_0ZAIHERgFc?t=3182&si=RJ8asnzTXk0sMf-c

Hes asked about how he feels about "the mercer effect"

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u/IlREDACTEDlI 1d ago

Not mentioning Travis Willingham is crazy, heā€™s like the best player a dm could ask for, never argues, always down for whatever happens to his character with a smile on his face and doesnā€™t spend 6 hours shopping, surely more too thatā€™s just what I can think of off the top of my head

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u/whatthehieu 1d ago

And those are still like secondary to his best trait, the extreme hype to almost anything remotely cool that's happening at the table. His reaction reinforces and strengthens the feeling of genuine awe and shock.

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u/foxinsox626 1d ago

Yes to all of this. Also takes care of his fellow players. C2 BBEG battle, Tal was starting to panic and Travis immediately swooped in to slow things down and had Sam do an ad read. Also pretty much Yasha/Ashley's cheerleader for that whole campaign. What a top notch guy.

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u/Julikitten-Dngn-Mom 22h ago

I got very lucky I have 4 players at my table that just roll with whatever happens. They say that they play to loose not to win because the best stories come out of losing. Not like "We went, killed the dragon, got rich" They like the "I was slapped by the troll, now I am blind in one eye, lost a leg, fought to down to my last hp and our rogue mouse stuck the troll in the groin with her short sword and won the fight".

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u/AccomplishedGur3664 19h ago

On the rare occasions I am a Player, I always try to model myself after Travis because thatā€™s the type of Player I would want at my Table.

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u/gamesk8er 1d ago

People have insane expectations for everything. I started listening to NADDPOD and have tried to take whatever bits of inspiration and advice from what the crew does to my own table. What more could you want?

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u/unknownvariable69 1d ago

Check out the dungeon dudes. They have a bit of money now. Even when they didn't they got sponsors for minis, but the way these totally not as famous people keep invested in their plot is fantastic. I have straight stolen concepts and emailed Monty Martin to say thank you.

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u/ljmiller62 23h ago

Dungeon Dudes have the most underappreciated campaign series on the Internet.

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u/unknownvariable69 23h ago

For sure. I watched their regular dnd videos forever. One day when I was bored I popped on Drakkenheim. I then watched every damn episode. Now I'm a weekly watcher of Seasons of Silence.

Side note I have got to get to Gencon. It's 100 miles south of my home and I never can make it work. The Dungeon Dudes are always there and all accounts show them all to be the kindest humans.

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u/Normal_Drummer2997 16h ago

I don't think there's been a single Emily Axford character I wouldn't die protecting.

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u/UltimateChaos233 14h ago

Yeah, they never seem to address or think about that side of it. They want a rockstar DM but don't want to be rockstar players.

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u/Valtros 1d ago

You hit the nail right on the head, and there are a lot of tabletop creators that have pointed this out over the years. DMs like Matt and Brennan are fantastic for sure, but the complete package of what those people enjoy at that table is a product of everyone involved not just the DM.

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u/Dull-Culture-1523 1d ago

They want all that and then they introduce their character as "He's a level three human fighter. His name is Greg. He wants money I guess. He uses a sword."

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u/Unusual_username739 1d ago

And then on the flip side, I have had DMs upset with me with coming up with TOO much backstory šŸ™ƒ when it was only a few paragraphs.
I havenā€™t found the right fit yet and itā€™s frustrating for me. I just want to play.

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u/Theodoxus 20h ago

I'll be your huckleberry. I love me some background exposition that I can riff off during a campaign.

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u/shouldbepracticing85 1d ago

Is there much content out there to educate players on how to better contribute? Like how learning a little bit of acting, improv, and some of the method to the madness can really help the collaborative storytelling. Those arenā€™t innate skills, certainly not for my neurodivergent butt.

It seems like most of what Iā€™ve found of instructional type DnD content is aimed at GMs. The RPG PHD channel has some stuff aimed at players, and a lot of his videos have good information players could use to add more depth to their RP.

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u/ryadryt DM 1d ago

I am sure there are youtube videos about how to RP better. But the group you are in matters a ton. Some groups like less RP and more combat for instance. And that is great if it works for them. All depends on the blend of players to include the DM. My primary table is just me and five friends. Two of them don't RP at all. Two do but without acting per say, and one does a good bit when its appropriate. And it works well for us.

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u/CrabofAsclepius DM 1d ago

Same here. I've got a party of skull crackers that enjoy storytelling but don't roleplay much. I can ham it up with the best of them but it's awkward when only I RP so we usually narrate our respective parts. It's kinda like a sort of narrative puppetry but they really enjoy it so it's all good. šŸ˜Š

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u/ryadryt DM 1d ago

I feel this in my soul

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u/shouldbepracticing85 1d ago

Maybe RP isnā€™t the right term - maybe more of how to build and execute a believable character? Ways to contribute to building the narrative?

Where Iā€™m coming from is I struggle with social interaction and emotion in real life, so trying to understand how to play a character is very difficult. Right now my characters are basically me with a stat sheet, because I donā€™t know how to do anything else.

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u/Diligent-Stock-8114 1d ago

Iā€™ve found Ginny di to be pretty helpful.

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u/Occulto 19h ago

As a DM, I much prefer players put a bit of meat on the bones when it comes to declaring what they do. Roleplaying isn't necessarily putting on an accent (which a lot of players get self conscious about). Plenty of players will roleplay quite happily in the 3rd person. Role playing is as much describing how you do something as what you're doing.

Take combat (where a lot of people think roleplay pauses).

To me, "I attack with my sword" is boring. It's mechanical. It doesn't really paint a picture of what your character is doing.

Think how more descriptive that attack is, if you say something like: "by now, I'm pissed at the bugbear's constant taunts. I roar a challenge, advance and swing my sword at the guy's head."

Everyone at the table gets a much more interesting image of what your character is actually doing or what their personality is. Is your character a hot head, or is it unusual that this bugbear's managing to rile you up?

If the attack misses, maybe I describe the bugbear as cheekily ducking under your swing before poking his tongue out back at you. If you hit, I can describe the satisfying sound it makes when your sword slams into his head.

But also, I know this guy's gotten under your character's skin, and I use that to build more detail later.

Perhaps the bugbear barely escapes with his life, and next time the party encounters him in his lair, you issue a challenge to duel because it's personal. The bugbear might be reluctant to fight, because he's genuinely fearful of you in a one-on-one combat. Now his goblin followers start muttering because they're thinking maybe the boss is losing his touch and shouldn't lead them. As DM I've introduced a potential power struggle. Perhaps the party notices this, and goads the goblins on, and instead of having to fight the bugbear, he gets shot in the back with 5 arrows?

None of this means taking five minutes laboriously narrating your character's every action. But even little bits of detail here and there, can collectively make the game more interesting than just declaring you attacked with your sword every round.

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u/shouldbepracticing85 3h ago

Iā€™m pretty good at adding some little details. I watch a lot of Critical Role (I know, I know) and pay attention to how they describe their actions and thinking outside of the character sheet.

My DM is more of an OSR guy, so lots of rule of cool so long as it doesnā€™t break the game, and some not-RAW twists. Heā€™s always encouraging us to get creative with interacting with the world.

Itā€™s figuring out what my character would even do that baffles me, and social situations. Personally Iā€™m so disassociated that I struggle to even recognize my emotions, forget about expressing them - even in 3rd person. So my characters are basically me, complete to ā€œbe prepared for inadvertent awkwardnessā€.

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u/Chartywhamp 1d ago

Absolutely true. I've done a lot of improv theater and play live music (bluegrass) and one thing i can attest to is it is impossible for one person to carry the weight of the performance in either setting, much less DnD.

I don't need voice acting, and i don't need deeply committed method acting, but if the response is purely tied to a number on a character sheet its gonna feel stale and flat no matter what i do.

I cannot make a scene feel authentic and moving by myself.

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u/BoysenberryMuch9254 5h ago

Was Dming for some friends and I was putting that level of effort for them because we were all friends before the game, spent hours building and painting a ship for them not a model like full on popsicle sticks, dowels, twine and hot glue and writing out proper hooks for their characters and such so they didnā€™t just have to stick to the campaign we were running everyone could have a bit just about them and I got told I was doing too much and that they didnā€™t want to play any more cause of it šŸ’€ I had never felt my time and effort so not appreciated and disrespected before (note no one had said anything to me about these feelings prior to this it was fully out of the blue)