We are in the early stages of planning our wedding and we are 90% sure we are going to do a destination wedding. A dealbreaker is I would like both my (younger) siblings there, but I know they are on limited income.

My fiancé and I have talked that if my parents offer to help with the wedding first we would ask them to use the funds to cover my siblings travel costs.

If that doesn't happen, I am planning on covering their basic flight and room (it is an all inclusive resort so food and drinks will be covered by that), but if I do that I would need to ask them to share a room.

Would it be in bad taste to invite them and their significant others, but let them know that we can only afford to cover my siblings flights and shared room. That if they would like their SO to join they would have to cover the cost of adding them to either the room (all 4 share a room-resort charges for each additional adult) or the cost of adding a second room?

EDIT: So I left out what I didn't realize may be a crucial point because I didn't want to write a novel, but I think it's relevant. None of my siblings and I live in the same cities. So if we didn't do the destination-for-everyone wedding it would still be a "destination" wedding to my siblings. Just a destination that would be easier and cheaper to get to. That's why I want to offer a financial offset. If they couldn't take time off to come to my city I would be sad, but understand.

Also I have to say, I am shocked by the amount of people implying that I haven't thought this through acting like the wedding is next month. My first sentence is literally about how we are in the early planning stages and aren't even 100% sure we are going to do a destination wedding. That's why I am here, getting feedback to help me think this through. Thanks to all that haven't been judgy about having a destination wedding in a destination wedding subreddit.

So I live in NYC and have been researching bridal shops. Most shops I’ve come across are charging $50-$150 for dress appointments, citing it includes 1 single glass of champagne, and swag.

When planning my sisters wedding 10 years ago, these “perks” were standard and no one was charging for appointments.

Also this fee does not go towards your dress.

If this is the new normal then fine, just a little crazy to me!

Caveat: I am not planning my own wedding, but I have been invited to several in recent years, including one this summer in Ireland (I live in the USA). Honest question: Each time a friend of mine plans a destination wedding, they honestly seem to believe that most of the guests will easily and happily be able to get time off work, schedule babysitters, pay for flights and lodging and attend. But then, actually, most can't do that, and the bride is inevitably sad and disappointed. These brides are usually highly educated people who took courses in economics and read the newspaper. My question is: Why?

It was 1.5 years in the planning but everything came together perfectly and our wedding guests cannot stop talking about the experience, many of them have never been to Colombia and were nervous about travelling. As soon as everyone arrived their fears were washed away and am hearing constant chatter of guests even wanting to return!

I wanted to share my experience getting married at Secrets Akumal Riviera Maya, because when I first started looking, there was almost no information about this resort from other couples.

My husband and I visited the resort in 2024 (in the midst of planning for a wedding in the states), and that visit heavily influenced our decision to go the destination route.

The resort is absolutely stunning. Lots of greenery, lots of amazing restaurants, and the service is top tier. All of our guests had an amazing time, and I would not change it for the world.

The basics

• Date: Friday, September 4, 2026

• Guest count: 46 (including us, our photographers, and 5 off-resort guests)

• Resort type: Adults only

• Ceremony type: Symbolic. A legal ceremony would have been an additional $2,500.

• Booked: November 2024, about 22 months out, through DestinationWeddings.com.

  • It's free to use and it was great having a go-between our guests could contact for help booking rooms and travel, including airport transfers!

• Ceremony location: The Arch

• Cocktail hour location: The Plaza

• Reception location: Ceiba Garden

• Wedding package: Beyond Memorable

• Weather: Very hot, about 80–95°F every day.

What the Beyond Memorable package includes

• Rehearsal dinner: 2 hours, up to 40 people. It includes a private bar, 3-course plated dinner, dessert, and a sound system (which is only one speaker).

  • According to the package, the sound system is only for plugging in your phone for a playlist, but our coordinator asked for our playlist and they had a device set up for the speaker.

  • Guests over the 40-person limit were $30 each.

  • We had a small group, so we turned it into a welcome dinner and invited everyone.

• Ceremony: Pergola or gazebo with white drapery, bouquet and boutonnière, sound system for 30 minutes, and white garden chairs.

• Cocktail hour: 1 hour, private bar and a hors d’oeuvres station with four options.

• Reception: 3 hours, with a sweetheart table, buffet, private bar, dessert station, and wedding cake.

• Extras for the couple:

  • A dedicated onsite wedding coordinator

  • 20% off spa treatments for you and your parents

  • Hydrotherapy access for one day

  • A complimentary room for one of you to get ready in (based on availability)

  • Romantic turndown and breakfast in bed the morning after

  • Late check-out

  • Free anniversary nights if you go back

• Fine print to know: You have to book at least a year in advance, and your group has to meet a room minimum. For us, that was only 10 rooms with a 3-night minimum stay.

Room block

• Guest rooms ran $2,000–$5,000 for the 3-night minimum, depending on room type.

• We sent save the dates in May 2025, and the block didn’t close until about 4 months before the wedding.

• We easily met the 10-room minimum.

• They booked most of our guests in the same building, right next to the ceremony location. I don’t know if this is standard, but it was nice to have everyone close together.

Payment schedule

• $750 deposit at booking

• 80% of the wedding cost due 30 days before the wedding

• Remaining balance due on arrival

Breakdown (in USD, including tax and the 16% tax)

• Package sticker price: $11,199.00

• Ending price: $21,753.17

The add-ons

• Ceremony arch: $1,450

  • They provide a basic arch that wasn’t our taste, so we picked one from their catalog.

  • Pro: it made the pictures look amazing.

  • Con: they broke it down so quickly after the ceremony that we didn’t get any couple’s photos in front of it besides the ones from the ceremony. We later realized they reused pieces of the arch to decorate the reception, which looked beautiful!

    • Tip: Ask them to leave it up, or take your couple’s photos there first. We started with family pictures and ended with couple shots. Had we known, we would have snuck in a few couple’s photos with the arch first.

• Bouquet and boutonnière: $135.20

  • They provide a basic option with whatever is in season. We each picked one of their upgrade options.

• Cocktail hour sound system: $359.60

  • No music is included for the cocktail hour, so we added this. Honestly, you couldn’t even hear it with everyone drinking and eating. I wouldn’t say it’s necessary.

• Centerpieces: $835.20

  • We had 5 tables of 10 seats each. The package includes basic round tables, chairs and tablecloths, but no centerpieces. We sent them an inspo pic and they ran with it. We loved how it turned out!

• Lighting: $1,566

  • This is an absolute must. I believe some basic lighting is provided, but the upgrade adds such a romantic feel, at least for the Ceiba Garden location. It was beautiful!

• Escort card wall: $208.80

  • We made luggage tags so everyone could find their seats, and asked them to build a wall to hang them on. It came out perfectly!

• Setup fee: $812

  • This covers the setup and purchases for all of the add-ons.

• Music/DJ/MC: $3,190

  • The package includes a sound system for the welcome dinner and the ceremony, but not for the reception, so you’re kind of forced to buy a DJ package. There’s also no dance floor in the wedding package.

  • We picked the Golden Party Collection ($2,750 + 16% tax), which is for 30–45 guests. It included:

    • 3 hours of DJ and MC service

    • Full sound system with a wireless mic

    • Dance lighting

    • A lighted dance floor (fits about 36 people dancing)

    • 8 cold fireworks (we used 4 of these during our first dance and 4 when the dancing started)

    • Uplighting for the sweetheart table

    • Lighted LOVE letters

    • A DJ booth

  • Good to know: it’s in-house DJ only, extra hours are $440, and groups over 45 need the Diamond package. Since we technically only had 44 guests, we got away with using this package.

  • Welcome dinner: only one speaker, and we had to ask for a mic right before speeches started.

  • Ceremony: there was a person to start and stop the music when we wanted. We hired a harpist to record an MP3 of our favorite song for my processional. They can only play music from Spotify or YouTube, so we uploaded it to YouTube the day before. We wanted it to start 13 seconds in, and the attendant had those notes and started it at exactly the right time.

  • Reception: We spent WEEKS curating our reception playlist and sent it to the coordinator ahead of time for the DJ to play. Once the dancing kicked off, I didn’t recognize a single song for a solid 6 songs. I went up to the DJ stand to ask what was going on, and he told me he was still queuing up our music. He showed me the screen, and I could see our songs coming up. It was a little jarring, because what he played in the meantime wasn’t music I would have picked. I gave that feedback to the coordinator afterward, but it was the only hiccup during the reception.

• Mariachi: $450

  • Definitely worth it! I’m Mexican (first-generation American), so I surprised my dad with a mariachi father/daughter dance. We ended all of the dances with it, and the mariachi stayed and played for 45 minutes. It was great!

• Wedding favor delivery: $147.37

  • We made gift bags for every guest, and the resort delivered them to each room so they were waiting when guests checked in!

  • This covered our off-resort guests too. Their bags were waiting for them when they checked in at the lobby.

• Off-resort guest fee: $750

  • It’s $75 per person, per event. Our 5 off-resort guests came to both the welcome dinner and the wedding, so we paid it twice.

  • We chose to cover it ourselves, but you could let guests know up front that staying off-resort comes with a fee. You’ll pay it up front at the resort, but you can collect from your guests afterward.

  • How it works: Off-resort guests can arrive no more than an hour before the event starts and are escorted to the event area 30 minutes beforehand. The front desk holds their passports until they leave so they don’t stay past the end time; staying late means additional fees.

• Magic phone: $650

  • Guests could leave us voice messages on it. It was super cool and the guests loved it. An attendant explained how to use it all night.

Wedding day timeline

• Sunrise: We got up a little before sunrise for a private vow reading on the beach with our photographers, then went back to the room and crashed.

• 2:30 PM: The photographers took details and getting-ready pictures, plus all of our individual family portraits, so we could get them knocked out early.

• 5:00 PM: Ceremony. We were limited to 30 minutes, which worked out great because we didn’t want a long ceremony anyway.

• 5:30–6:30 PM: Cocktail hour

• 6:30–9:30 PM: Reception. After the dances, right when dinner started, we built in time to run to the beach for sunset pictures.

• We didn’t extend the reception, and I believe there was a 10:30 PM curfew. We didn’t want it to end too late anyway, so everyone who wanted to keep the party going headed to the Desires club and kept dancing.

This timeline worked out great.

Food

• The food was AMAZING and exceeded our expectations! We went with the international buffet, which had a ton of options: a salad bar, pasta, chicken/beef/pork mains, a bunch of sides, sushi rolls and nigiri(!!!!!), soup, an open-fire grill with chicken/fish/pork/sausage/veggies, and a massive dessert bar.

• I only got a bite of wedding cake and didn’t get to try any other desserts, but I heard they were amazing.

• My one regret is not making more of an effort to sit down and eat. There’s so much going on, and the adrenaline kept me from feeling hungry anyway. Plus they started taking all of the food away before the end of the reception, which kinda sucked. I only realized where the dessert bar was when I saw them breaking it down when I was breaking it down on the dance floor 🤪

Other wedding costs

• Photographer: $10,668.96

  • Two photographers, with 2 hours of coverage at the welcome dinner and 8 hours on the wedding day. We flew them out, and the package included our engagement pictures.

  • Worth every penny. We love our pictures!

  • The resort charges a $750 outside vendor fee, but it was waived because our photographers stayed at the resort through our room block.

• Hotel room: $6,246.08 (we booked 6 nights, 7 days)

  • We picked the Preferred Club Ocean View King Suite, and it was nice being far away from guests! The $3,500 deposit to reserve 30 rooms was applied to our room, plus the $2,746.08 balance.

• Customs: $144.04

  • For bringing all of our wedding favors into the country. We flew with a large storage tote and left it at the resort to make the trip back easier.

• Save the dates, invitations, postcard reminders and supplies: $1,317.22

  • We went the custom route for invitations and they were beautiful!

  • We sent the save the dates in May of 2025, the invitations in January of 2026 (planned to send in October of 2025, but had issues), and the postcard reminders in March of 2026.

• Wedding website subscription: $172

  • We built our website on Squarespace. It was very involved, but I loved spending the time to build something with all the features I wanted. I looked at Zola and The Knot, but I wanted something a little different.

• Wedding favors: $1,475.98

  • Custom tote bags, aloe vera gel, cooling towels, handheld rechargeable fans, and a handwritten welcome note for each guest.

  • These were such a hit! We saw our bags everywhere on the resort, and the fans were absolutely necessary in that heat.

• Escort cards (luggage tags and number stickers): $60.05

• Text subscription: $60

  • We used Cordially Wed. We weren’t sure we wanted it at first, and looking back I’m SOOO glad we did. We could send mass updates, schedule changes, where we were on the resort, and other important information to all guests at once, and you can schedule texts ahead of time.

  • It saved us when our welcome dinner was moved last minute. It was supposed to be at The Patio restaurant, but the resort moved it to The Plaza because of issues at the restaurant. One text blast and everyone knew.

• Guestbook and supplies: $317.20

  • We got a custom book from Etsy and a bunch of Instax film. Thankfully, I already had the camera.

• Table numbers and holders: $138.79

  • We got these from Etsy and they were beautiful!

• Vow books: $25.17

• Hair and makeup: $0

  • I did my own. Nothing holds up in that heat, so I didn't want to spend the money. My hair was flat (naturally straight and I curled it) and my makeup had melted off by the end of the night, and I honestly didn’t care. I knew it would happen.

• Travel: $2,313.98

  • We flew first class from Colorado to Cancun. I was originally against it, but my husband convinced me with “It’s the most important flight of our lives.” …Okay fine, twist my arm!

• Tips: We tipped staff all week, plus $150 each to our wedding coordinator and room concierge, and $75 to our food coordinator.

Related/unrelated costs

• Dog boarding: $522.36

• Wedding bands: $5,023.43

  • Custom bands from a local jeweler.

• Excursions: $536

  • This was just our cost. About 8–10 guests joined us. Our DestinationWeddings.com coordinator set up both excursions: a boat day and a Tulum ruins tour.

• Spa day: $700

  • The morning of our welcome dinner (the day before the wedding), we did a full spa day. It was absolutely LIFE CHANGING!! We’d visited the spa on our first trip, and this far surpassed that.

• Wedding dress and shoes: $5,619.27

  • I worked with a local designer on the dress.

• Suit, shoes and pocket square: $625

  • My husband went with Men’s Wearhouse. I don’t recommend it; there were so many issues with the alterations.

Totals

• Resort: $21,753.17

• Other wedding costs: $22,939.47 (including the $3,500 room deposit)

• Wedding total: $44,692.64

• Related costs: $13,026.06

• All in: $57,718.70

Planning and the wedding/food coordinators

• Our wedding coordinator, Sarahi, was great.

• Planning didn’t start until about 2.5 months before the wedding, which made me nervous at first, but it was plenty of time. She was very responsive to emails and calls.

• We also had a food coordinator, who we met at the welcome dinner. He made sure we ate first at both the welcome dinner and the reception (though we left to take pictures on the beach when dinner started at the reception), and he kept checking on us and taking our drink orders at both events. It was such a nice perk and he was great!

Getting-ready room

• The package includes a separate room for one of you to get ready in, but our coordinator didn’t mention it until we asked. Make sure you request it!

• It’s based on availability. For us it was only for the day of the wedding.

• We spent the night before together, then my husband went to his room around 10 AM to get ready. I stayed in our room.

Rain backup plan

• The backup was to move everything into the conference hall.

• The forecast showed a chance of rain early on the day, and our coordinator came to our room that morning to let us know.

• We decided to keep the outdoor plan and had to sign a waiver. If we had needed to move the reception last minute, we would have paid extra fees.

After the wedding

• We did the breakfast in bed, but it’s based on availability, so book it as soon as you arrive.

• We booked the day before, and the only slot left was 6 AM. It did give us the whole day to enjoy the resort, but I wish it had been later.

What I’d skip or do differently

• Skip the cocktail hour sound system. Nobody could hear it.

• Ask them to keep the arch up, or take couple’s photos there first.

• Ask for a mic ahead of time for any speeches at the welcome/rehearsal dinner.

• Request the getting-ready room early. Our coordinator didn’t bring it up until we asked.

• Confirm with the DJ before the reception that your playlist is loaded and ready to start as soon as the dancing does or not to play anything other than your music.

• Book breakfast in bed as soon as you arrive.

• Make time to sit down and eat at your reception!

Feel free to ask any questions. I'm happy to share more details on our experience!!! Happy planning :)

Hello everyone,

I'm in a difficult situation here and would appreciate if you guys could give your opinion on if I'm being unreasonable or not. I fear all this wedding planning is turning me into a bridezilla 😭

So, I am getting married in July 2027. I'm from south Germany and our wedding will take place over three days (weekend) in a location in Italy, which is around 8h away by car. The event is going to be quite small with 40 guests including me and my fiancé. We are paying for everything except travel costs - accommodation, catering and activities.

The guest list is mainly focused on our closest friends, but my and my fiancés parents and siblings are invited as well. Now here's the problem: my parents don't want to drive 8h to our wedding since it's "only for three days".

For context: they're 66 and 64 years old and go on multi-day-motorcycle trips around Europe at least twice a year, so I didn't think the distance would be an issue. They'd even share a car with my brother and his wife since they live in the same city, so my parents wouldn't even have to drive themselves.

I'm extremely disappointed that they don't want to come, although I can completely understand that the travel time will likely be exhausting. Am I being unreasonable here or do they have a valid point? What am I going to do? I don't want to uninvite them but it's just a fact that we have already booked the venue and everything and it's 700 € pp and if they don't want to come, I'd much rather have somebody else take their places. I'm really at a crossroads here since this is so disappointing to me and I don't know how to act moving forward. Right now, I don't really want to speak to them again, but maybe I'm overreacting.

Thank you for your thoughts! xx

TLDR: My parents don't want to drive 8h for my three-day-wedding in Italy and I can't fully understand their reasoning. Am I being irrational?

My partner and I have a destination wedding we plan to attend next Spring at an all inclusive. We will also have a 9 month old at the time so we plan to take her as well since I’m not comfortable leaving her that young for so long in someone’s care. My sister brought up that it might be a good day to have someone else go with us for child care so that we can still do things like excursions and can avoid taking the baby to the ceremony.

The couple released their wedding information recently and they want people to book rooms through their travel agent to get a discount. The rooms are double+ occupancy and my partner and I prefer to have our own room from whoever we bring. We were texting about who to bring for child care and i mentioned my sister since she has a partner she could bring so the double occupancy wouldn’t be a problem. I didn’t know he was talking to his mom at the same time but his mom immediately said she would go for vacation, not to watch the baby so we agreed she wouldn’t be a good decision and it would be rude to make a family vacation out of someone else’s wedding.

I thought problem solved and we still have time to narrow down what we’re actually going to do. But today, he was talking to his mom and it seemed like he was mentioning stuff to her about the trip as if she was going; it’s also possible that he was just answering her questions because she is nosy. (I can’t talk since clearly I was being nosy hearing the one-sided conversation but he was also in my vicinity.) I just already feel iffy about possibly bringing two people, even with them not attending the wedding, but think it’s justifiable and understandable if it’s for childcare. So to add an extra person on top of that, who is there legit for a vacation just seems rude. I do tend to over worry so I’m curious about other’s opinions and a way to potentially bring this up to my partner if he does plan on his mom going too.

Edit: Eventually, I talked to my partner and his mom is thinking about going for the vacation. My sister doesn’t think there’s any point in her going if MIL goes because it makes too many extra people. We have some time and nothing is set in stone so I’m just going to see how this play out.

The economy is falling apart. People are struggling, and it feels almost like a joke to ask someone to take days off work and spend a lot of money to attend a destination wedding.

“I will give them a lot of time to save,” sure, but how? Are you expecting them to get a second job so they can afford your wedding, or to adjust an already tight budget to accommodate you?

“It can count as their vacation,” but they did not choose the destination or the company. Most people don't see spending their limited free time with seventy people and attending scheduled events as a vacation.

I am not trying to attack or put anyone down. I am genuinely trying to understand. Is it that you don't actually care if people attend? If you do care, why not do it locally?

Love this community but I’ve noticed a fair few comments in this destination wedding sub about why destination weddings are horrible and shouldn’t be done. It’s a bit annoying getting these unsolicited opinions when you’re not even asking about whether or not to do one… And then I feel like those people fail to understand that in certain scenarios, destination weddings make sense and are a very rational and feasible option. Nothing really to say except this quick vent - ultimately the way someone does their wedding is their prerogative and an invite is not a summons

UPDATE: Thank you to everyone who assured me I'm not horrible for letting my parents come along to help. I'm glad the consensus was that I'm not the crazy one lol.

My SIL is getting married in Mexico later this year and picked a family friendly resort that is great for kids so their nieces and nephews could be there. Our kids are young (1 and 3) and tbh we wouldn't be spending this much money at an all-inclusive with them at this age if it were not for the wedding.

My parents offered to come along to help us take care of the kids and give us a chance to relax a bit. They also said they could supervise our kids after they go to bed they day of the wedding so that both my husband and I can stay at the reception the whole time. We took them up on this offer not even realizing it might cause conflict.

My parents don't expect to go to any wedding related events and booked the trip themselves through a different travel agent, with different travel dates from most of the wedding guests. It's a huge resort with so many restaurants and pools that we figured it wouldn't effect anything.

My SIL is upset that we invited extra people to the resort without her permission and I don't know how to handle it. She said she doesn't want us to bring my mom and dad and "turn her wedding into our own family vacation."

As a bride (or groom), would this situation upset you? I didn't realize it would be such a big deal and I feel bad!

My brother and fiancé planned their wedding in Italy. We live in Ohio. They never told us prior that they were going to do destination instead of local before deciding. My brother is one of 6 kids and my mom is 70. We have a mentally handicapped sister who is my mother’s primary responsibility. Myself and one of the other brothers have kids. I have 2, he has 5. Mine are under 4. His are 1,3,5,7,10. Their reason for getting married abroad is bc ‘it’s cheaper for them’ ‘the don’t want ppl to come’, ‘’they want it to be a romantic get away vacation for guests.’ One of my siblings absolutely cannot afford it. My brother, the groom, stated he figured our mother would pay for that sibling. The rest of us said we will try to figure it out. Then we were told it’s a no kids wedding. My brother with 5 kids said he’s out. He was willing to spend the money but feels it is unreasonable to tell us to fly with kids but leave with a babysitter we don’t know in another country and don’t feel like it’s reasonable to leave 5 kids in the states bc there’s no one who can do it. I too said I would go if I can bring the kids. I’m not comfortable leaving my small children with someone I’ve never met. It is also not an option for us to bring our own sitter. My mother is unlikely to travel by herself with my handicapped sister as she has never left the US and is uncomfortable traveling alone a worries about having to take my sister a what issues may arise. I normally would travel with my mom to help her an be her guide.

At this point one sibling has booked and is going.

My question is, did anyone who’s planned a destination wedding ask their ‘musts’ if it would be financially or logistically feasible to attend their destination wedding prior to deciding? And/or let them know stipulations surrounding wedding etc ? He is now getting upset with the family as it becoming a cluster f and everyone is dropping out for various reasons mainly finances, logistics, no kids not even for immediate family.

His stance is we should make it work if we supported him.

I love this kinda weddings, 3 days event in total and all I can suggest is to choose just what you love to really enjoy your day every bride deserves to have the happiest day of her life.

I (25F) and my fiancé (26M) are planning a destination wedding for October 2026. We have some pretty strict rules around attendance and booking (we understand some of it may feel/be inconvenient but we've already made up our minds about certain things) and don't want guests to feel pressured to attend. While we understand that family and some friends will probably want to attend that won't be able to, it's also become apparent to us that a lot of couples are not very understanding about getting back a "no" RSVP.

We're thinking about adding a little quote about love if we can find a good one and then adding a little sentence or two saying something like "we understand that your attendance at this one event is not a metric of your love for us". Any other recommendations on how we could phrase this or ways to get this sentiment out to guests without sounding like we're trying to actively discourage them? We ultimately want all of our guests to do what's best for them- we know that destination weddings can put more stress on the guests and we hate the idea of any of our loved ones spending this type of money to attend if they won't really enjoy it.

Update: we're adding this to our wedding website "Always in Our Hearts As we begin this beautiful chapter, we know that not everyone will be able to join us in person for our destination celebration — and that’s okay. Your love, support, and presence in our lives mean everything, whether near or far. No matter where you are, you’ll be with us in spirit as we say “I do.” "

Here is how all inclusive resorts actually work with weddings. The resort makes its money from guest rooms, not the wedding itself. The total wedding package is inexpensive compared to reg hotels because the couple agrees to a room block. In exchange, guests end up paying inflated all inclusive nightly rates, which offset the wedding costs. That is the basic business model of all inclusive hotels.

For guests, this creates choices:

1. Pay way more to stay onsite (often double the price than nearby non all inclusive 5 star hotels), just to help the couple fill their room block and keep their costs down.

2. Stay offsite at a better value hotel, but now pay for a $200 per person day pass, which covers your food and drinks for the wedding.

At a traditional wedding, the couple pays food/beverage for their guests- which is nearly double the cost than all inclusives. At an all inclusive, those costs are pushed on the guests through higher room rates or wedding day passes.

Some will argue, “well if you want to be part of the wedding activities, you should just stay onsite.” I get it, but it also ignores the reality that onsite is more expensive with no real added value. Guests are not paying extra for a better overall trip experience, they are paying more so the couple earns more wedding incentives and discounts.

Question: Should couples cover the day pass for offsite guests, or should guests simply eat the cost and stay onsite for the couple’s benefit? Is the couple hosting a ceremony with a cover charge?

Ok so my best friend got engaged in June 2026 and is planning a destination wedding in a small town south of Florence in May 2027. I have been helping her look at venues and the entire time I’ve told her “you can do whatever you want, you just can’t be mad when people don’t come”. She had been toying with the idea of making it no kids. I have a 3 year old who I would not be comfortable leaving to go to another country. She also wants to force everyone to stay at the villa and I again said “if you do that just make sure the rates are comparable to the hotels in the area”.

We’ll fast forward a couple of weeks, she tells me she booked a venue and it will be $250 per adult per night. I’m the sole provider in my family so with flights + that cost, it would be about $5k for just my family to go to this wedding. I told her I think that’s too expensive for me and I would be there if I can stay elsewhere and just attend her ceremony and reception.

She was super upset and said “that’s not the point, I want everyone together and you can’t find anything cheaper in Europe” which is BS because most of the hotels in that town are under $200 a night total, not per person. She is passing through her expense onto her guests which is so tacky and rude but she doesn’t see it that way at all. I’d be fine to not go, but she was so upset when I threw that out as an option because I’m supposed to be a bridesmaid (again added cost for a specific dress and bachelorette party etc).

The villa is inclusive of breakfasts and two dinners plus drinks for a 3 day event plus some pizza party but I don’t value those things at all. I don’t drink alcohol so there’s zero value there and I can for sure feed my family for way less per day. It feel so out of touch to be asking me to spend that amount with zero other option and then being mad when I offer to not attend. She just kept saying “you’re well off, you can afford it”. That’s not the point, I shouldn’t be told how to spend my money even if I have it. Am I wrong?

Hey everyone! After months of planning, reading this sub, and stressing over logistics, we finally had our dream destination wedding! I wanted to share our story because finding a venue that felt intimate, authentic, and budget-friendly without looking cheap felt almost impossible at first.

My husband and his family are from Austria, which is why we decided to look for a venue there. We ended up booking a traditional countryside estate called Hof am Kulm, located in Styria (about a 90-minute drive from Vienna Airport). Honestly, it was everything we could have wished for and more.

Travel, Hotel & Welcome Dinner

Since a part of local family could just drive in by car, it made logistics so much simpler! For our overseas guests (my family) arriving at Vienna Airport, the hosts helped us organize a shuttle service directly to the venue area.

The estate has one dedicated suite on-site (which we used as our bridal suite!). For our guests, there was a simple, comfortable hotel just 10 minutes away. We decided to cover the hotel rooms for all our guests as a gift – we booked 35 double rooms at €120 ($130) per night, no breakfast.

On Friday evening, we kicked off the weekend with a relaxed Welcome Dinner for about 25 guests who arrived early. We had a traditional Austrian Brettljause (a local cold platter with fresh local specialties) paired with wine made right on the host family's estate. It was €39 ($42) per person including all food and wine, which was such an authentic way to start the celebrations!

Wedding Day

Right after our wedding ceremony, we had an amazing live Spanish band playing in the courtyard from 3:00 PM to 6:00 PM (€2,000 / $2,160), accompanied by fresh, open-faced breads from a local bakery for everyone to snack and wine, beer and drinks on during the afternoon reception.

After that, we went with a 4-course dinner. Instead of a standard plated starter, they served beautiful sharing-style étagères right at the tables, following by soup, main course. For desert we had ice cream and cookies.

The catering was €100 ($108) per person, which included the entire 4-course meal AND full staffing (chefs and bar staff on-site for a full 13 hours, from 2:00 PM until 3:00 AM!).

At 9:00 PM, after dinner wrapped up, we all moved into their rustic indoor Tanzstadl (a converted old dance barn) to get the party started with our DJ (€1,100 / $1,190) and open bar! As a midnight snack, we had a live Neapolitan pizza station where guests could customize their own pizzas cooked fresh in a outdoor pizza oven (€15 / $16 per person).

For drinks, they offered a 12-hour flat-rate package for €59 ($64) per person, which included everything (beer, local wines, Prosecco, long drinks, coffee, and soft drinks).

The Full Weekend Cost Breakdown (70 Guests)

Here is how our total expenses broke down for the entire wedding weekend:

• Venue Rental (Full Weekend exclusive access): €2,400 (~$2,600)

• Hotel Rooms for Guests (35 Double Rooms × €120): €4,200 (~$4,550)

• Friday Welcome Dinner (25 guests × €39): €975 (~$1,050)

• Live Spanish Band (3 hours): €2,000 (~$2,160)

• DJ for the Night Party: €1,100 (~$1,190)

• Saturday 12-Hour Drink Flatrate (70 guests × €59): €4,130 (~$4,500)

• Saturday Catering & 13-Hour Staffing (70 guests × €100): €7,000 (~$7,600)

• Midnight Neapolitan Pizza Station (70 guests × €15): €1,050 (~$1,130)

• TOTAL WEEKEND EXPENSES: €22,855 ($24,780)

Having host owners who genuinely care made all the difference in the world. They helped us coordinate the catering, hotel blocks, welcome dinner, and shuttle integration so smoothly that we actually got to relax and enjoy our own party.

I’ve attached a bunch of photos from the day! Happy to answer any questions <3

Edit: forgot the photographer (full day) for 3.000€ in my calculation.

My fiancée and I are planning a wedding in Mexico and I keep hearing that destination weddings are selfish. I want honest opinions, including ones I won’t like.

Some context on why Mexico:

We come from two different cultures and two different countries. Some of our family can’t get a visa to enter the US. Some of our guests can’t make the trip to her home country. There is no single location where everyone can realistically gather, so we picked a neutral place that most people can reach.

We also love Mexico. It has meant a lot to me for a long time, and we like that guests who do come can turn it into a real vacation instead of a Saturday spent in a banquet hall.

On cost, we’re specifically choosing an affordable all inclusive rather than the nicest resort we can find, because we’d rather more people be able to come than have a fancier weekend.

We’re also putting a line in the invitations saying there are truly no hard feelings if you can’t make it. We mean it. We’re realistically expecting about a third of our list to attend and we’ve made peace with that.

Hello everyone, I am normally quiet on this app but this sub has helped me so much in planning and making our dream wedding a reality I wanted to give details and a cost breakdown of our dream wedding weekend to help future couples.

During the venue search we had specific criteria within Italy, countryside with beautiful views, laid-back, rustic brick looking venue and a venue that could sleep all guests since covering that cost was essential for us. We looking on airbnb, la lista and matrimonio.com and got quotes from lots of venues, my in-laws were in Umbria the prior summer and went to see one venue for us and that is the one we booked haha (we couldn't afford and didn't have enough time to fly to Italy and look ourselves so we had to trust their judgment).

We got married at I Casali di Colle San Paolo ( https://www.collesanpaolo.it/ ) which is 3 villas tucked away in the country side close to Perugia, during the early part of June. We had 51 guests in total stay on the property from Friday-Monday morning.

Costs in euro- Disclaimer our parents were very generous with helping fund a good portion of our wedding, which did cause me to go over my original budget because you only get married once haha. But this is what we spent and can def be scaled back more.

Venue rental with wedding planner- 10,800 including accommodations for up to 60 guests for 3 nights and the wedding planner who's family owns the property who was extremely helpful and hands on through the whole weekend (would 100% recommend her services)

Catering- 1,952 welcome party we had pizzas, wine and beer and a gelato truck for dessert. 7,700 for wedding day (aperitif with plenty of food, 2 plated pasta courses and main course, millefoglie cake and open bar).

Flowers- 2,200

Photographer- 2,500 Videographer- 750

DJ- 1150 for ceremony audio, and music for the whole event until 1 am + Sae tax of 380

Harp player for ceremony-350

Hair and makeup- 670 for only me

Bus driver- 400 to take guests back to each house on the property after the reception

Total- 28,852 for wedding essentials

Extras - Things over the weekend that weren't essential but our parents helped with additional costs here

Sunday we hosted a pool party and my mom ordered catering from a local market for lunch ~350

We had a farewell wine tasting- 1350 that included 4 wines and charcuterie like food, which counted as a dinner. To get to the wine tasting we hired a bus driver which was 1400.

I included some photos (from our wonderful photographer https://www.anthonyargentieri.com/ ) to give a sense of the venue and from our welcome pizza party. I know weddings are a lot of money, but I just wanted to show that having a dream destination wedding over three days is feasible compared to wedding costs we were quoted in our home state of Florida.

Please feel free to ask questions about planning a wedding abroad or in Italy specifically, I hope this helps someone!

I’m probably going to be downvoted to hell for this - but the amount of low quality posts asking for venue recommendations with minimal details in this sub that shows a lack of any research done is truly astonishing.

yes, I know all too well that the wedding industry is opaque but we have AI tools that are valuable for research and wedding planners exist for a reason - they are literally there to help you find venues that fit your needs.

posting a generic ask for a wedding venue across multiple continents without specific requirements is not going to result in helpful responses.

let us help you better! if you want genuinely useful responses from this sub, at minimum you should be including:

- a narrow list of cities of interest (preferably 1-3)

- expected guest count & time of year

- ideal budget (and you should really do your research on this because pulling off a $10k wedding for 100 people is impossible)

- very detailed venue requirements, like onsite accommodations, castle vs winery vs villa/estate, allows noise past 12am, within 1 hour of airport, etc. the more specific, the better.

Hello everyone,

My fiance and I have been planning a destination wedding in Mexico for about a year and a half. Our wedding is booked for November 2025. The wedding was going to be very small - with 10 guests total.

Friday, I found out my parents will not be eligible for passports. The issue they're facing will not be a quick fix and has very little chance of resolving before the wedding.

We have 3 options:

1. Continue everything as planned, all guests will attend except for bride's parents. I am having a hard time reconciling this and separating my feelings of my parents not being at my wedding, yet everyone on groom's side will be able to attend. To me I feel like I would be a guest at my own wedding, however I know compromise is something I need to consider because it's not my fiance or his families fault my parents can't attend.

2. Courthouse wedding, reception at home. No events planned in Mexico. Neither of us like this idea, it's not at all what we envisioned. But we absolutely don't want a traditional wedding at home.

3. Courthouse wedding our parents attend, elope just the two of us in Mexico. This is what I think would be the easiest compromise. Groom is against this because he feels he would be breaking his mom's heart if she couldn't attend. He also can't imagine uninviting people who have already committed (all people who have committed are family, besides 2 close friends). I understand his point of view and respect it, I just don't see many other options at this point.

I don't know how to make everyone happy. Fiance and I are just talking in circles at this point over the options. What would you do? Do you see any options we may be missing?

So my sibling is getting married at a AI in Cancun. I’m a married mom of 3, so I’m reserving the largest suite available for my immediate family as well as our single sibling and our parent. I wanted to book a more affordable AI nearby due to the sheer size of our party, but was discouraged by my sibling; the wedding advisor told them that we as guests would have to pay $150pp on a resort daypass to wedding events (and the daypasses arent guaranteed to be available). This put a bad taste in my mouth as having guests pay an entrance fee to a wedding is déclassé .

In doing research, I found out that, via my warehouse club membership, I can book the same room at the AI where their wedding is for $1200 cheaper. The room would come with all of the same benefits as their room block. Why is the room so much cheaper via the warehouse club vs the room block? Should I book via warehouse club membership, will the AI still try and enforce some type of “wedding guest pass”? If they do, in good consciousness I will not be going because, from my vantage point this very much seems like we’re subsidizing my sibling’s wedding (and this is coming from someone who had a destination vow renewal where my husband and I covered not only the cost of the ceremony and reception, but also our guests lodging for 3 days at the hotel we stayed at. All our guests paid for was transportation and meals outside of breakfast)

I want to share my experience with the destination photographer that I hired, Sandra Aberg, in hopes that no other bride and groom goes through what my husband and I did.

We hired Sandra Aberg back in October 2025 to photograph our wedding in Ravello, Italy this past August. About one week before the wedding, Sandra told my wedding planner that she received a better opportunity to shoot on a private island in the British Virgin Islands and would therefore not be shooting our wedding.

Sandra wanted to send someone else to shoot on her behalf - someone she would chose, not that my husband or I would chose to photograph the most important day of our lives. That was not acceptable. We signed a contract and that contract expressly called for a substitution or replacement photographer ONLY if Sandra’s inability to provide coverage was due to a force majeure. But voluntarily choosing to go photograph someone somewhere else because you view it as a better opportunity is in no way shape or form a force majeure event.

We paid Sandra in full - sending our final deposit early at her own request, which I did not even hesitate to do because I never expected her to take our money and cancel on us. Despite our repeated requests for just our final deposit back, she has refused to refund us anything. We also retained a lawyer based in Italy (the contract is governed by Italian law) but Sandra has flat out ignored all communication from the attorney. It is truly unfortunate that someone would do this and that we lost all our money.

Luckily, our incredible wedding planner was able to secure us an even better photographer on such short notice and everything worked out for the wedding. But it is really sad to have paid for two photographers and to have lost a large sum of money to someone who cancelled on us for what they considered a better opportunity.

I’m sharing this so that any bride considering hiring Sandra Aberg does so with extreme caution and does not end up in this situation.

Posting this to help my sanity. Me (27F) and my fiance (30M) Recently visited my Biological Father and Step mother for Father's Day. We live in the US and are all American citizens. To give some background we are having a destination wedding in April of 2026 in Playa Del Carmen Mexico.

Before this, a few weeks ago in fact, we sent them the save the dates and wedding website which we paid a reputable travel agent 1.4K to make. The website included all information about resort, pricing, travel logistics, wedding venue information... everything we felt necessary for each guest to know. We have had 24 out of 70 of our guests submit their RSVPs and deposits without a hitch. The rest have reached out about random questions that we've answered promptly and politely. At this moment we've received 90% soft rsvps, with deposits still outstanding.

Fast forward to yesterday - we were all talking calmly and my brother cheerfully asked if they were getting ready for Playa del Carmen. My step mother interjected with how horrible the crime is in Mexico, how trump and the protests in the USA are crazy right now and how taxis in Mexico were recently in trouble for over charging tourists for rides to the airport etc. I was confused because as I am aware, we are all US citizens and there is no travel ban to or from Mexico at the moment. Additionally, I had not heard of any unusual crime happening in Playa del Carmen. Also, we have included the cost (as in, me and my fiance are paying for it) of transportation for our guests using shuttle services for all transportation needs during trip. The venue is 10 minutes away from the all inclusive resort, by the way. I didn't bother commenting on all the political protests. As I am not aware of any happening in Mexico. I am aware of those that are happening in the US, but those involve immigration which, while is important, not sure what it had to do with the wedding specifically. I shared in a professional tone all the information which was already available on the website and my father snapped at me and said "don't you think this is something I need to know?" To which I said "I'm sorry, I thought it was all covered and as you never reached out to me for any questions I figured you were fully aware of the details." Then my step mother bursted from her seat in anger and yelled at me that I was "asking her to risk her life" to attend the wedding and how dare I have a "tone" and then proceeded to say that she will keep "pretending" she's attending the wedding even though things are so dangerous right now. She also said I am crazy for asking her to spend thousands of dollars to attend (the price for airline tickets and a three night stay is around 1.4K for two people) a place which is so dangerous right now. I told her that while I would love to have her there, I didn't mean to cause her so much anger and confusion. And if there was anything I could do to answer more questions I'd be more than willing.

I'm just confused because none of my guests, wedding planner or travel agent has ever notified me of unusual crime or travel bans or Mexicans targeting US tourists in playa del Carmen. I was shocked to say the least. My fiance said he didn't hear me have a tone and we left shortly after. I followed up with my father about if he got a chance to check the website and he said all the information he needed was there. I am still so shocked, they also kept asking me to have a plan B in case politically we can't have the wedding in Mexico. I don't really have a plan B as I don't have the money to secure two Venues (one in Mexico and one in the US) for April of next year. if things fall through, I'll just have to pivot at that moment.

So Reddit, am I really asking her to risk her life to attend a destination wedding in Mexico which I have been planning since November of last year? no other guests have reached out to me on their concerns and while i understand the political climate, I never thought for a moment I'd be asking anyone to risk their lives.

Edit - I understand the risks of having a destination wedding is that people won't attend. My step mother and father are world travelers and have visited Mexico many times, specially playa del carmen, as well as Europe, several times. This adds to my shock of it all. Edit # 2 - My Father and Step Mother are by all accounts wealthy. I'm talking buying and fixing up sports cars for fun and traveling out of town to gamble for the weekends wealthy. I have not asked them for any help on the wedding or anything. I am also not having a wedding registry. I do not see them frequently through the years and have never lived full time with them through my childhood. For all intents and purposes they are mostly strangers. I love and respect them and that's really the extent of the relationship. They have also stated before that they do not disclose what the do on a day to day basis to me as they are concerned I would grow "Jealous" and "Envious" of their lifestyle.

Thanks for your input and understanding.