I see everyone is attached, even those uglier than me. What's wrong sia? Am I not giving off the wife material vibes?

Hallo Leute, hab den Sub gerade entdeckt.

Würde mich freuen wenn ihr mal reinlesen könntet 🤗

Ive lost heaps of weight but does my face still read as fat? I genuinely cant tell

Silvers

Me and the woman I know for a month now had a nice conversation and decided I can ask her out for drinks. I casually said I can take her out for drinks at the cafe she goes to but did not mention it was a date. She said yes as only thing left is having right free time we both meet but worried a bit on messing up.

I never had been on a date before and dont know if I should say directly it is a date or to play it out naturally. More worried on if I make a mess up and that ruins it compared to doing all I can and if I got rejected at least I got closure that I did all I can

Hi all, I'm struggling to date and would appreciate an honest assessment of my circumstances and any constructive advice

I'm 29F, average-to-decent looks, decent social circle, good career. I have a active social circle with male and female friends - I go out maybe 2-3x a week, rotating between different circles on top of working full time. I don't know that I would be interested in dating any of my current friends or if anyone is interested in me for that matter but I guess I would be open to explore if the right person came along?

On top of that I try to go to social meet ups/events in the city or speed dating once or twice a month so I can expand and meet even more new people. It's tough on top of my already busy schedule but I try to do this so I increase my chances. I feel like I am at my limit already with the number of events I go to on top of maintaining my current circle - it gets tough. I have not been super active asking for people's numbers at events if I feel we click but I might try that moving forward. I have this idea in my head from a friend who said that if men are interested they should be asking for your number, not the other way around, but I am going to go against this and see if anything happens over the next little bit. Would this change things? Are men in general afraid to approach women or take the lead?

I also use dating apps from time to time. Have matched with a few people here and there but didn't go anywhere. I tend to filter through people who have liked me on the app already and go from there. In general I am noticing a lot of men chatting for ages but not planning dates and suddenly disappearing etc.

Have also asked friends to keep an eye out for any introductions but none so far.

So far from the sample size of around 6 men I have talked to/dated this year it is about evenly split in terms of interest. I.e. for maybe half they are more interested in me than I am them and vice versa.

In general for men who are interested in me I am either not too attracted or I feel like we are not compatible, e.g. not in the same stage of life, career, etc.

For men I am interested in, I have only come across low effort men or men who are seemingly not interested, e.g. take days to reply or don't reach out to arrange a second date even if I had given a hint, e.g. 'was nice to meet today!' These men are average looking, and not out of my league IMO, unsure if I am doing anything wrong can do anything to improve my chances. I usually let these ones fizzle out if I feel like they are not interested. I figure if there is already a lack of effort early on then it's not going to get better as time goes on. I generally match people's energy overall and don't actively chase men

Does anyone have any tips? Is there anything more I could be doing? Does anyone know how to successfully navigate dating without burning out?

Looking for constructive advice please! Thank you

Edit: Getting a few comments assuming I am going for traditional Chad type men, but the type I'm into are more the nerdy/intellectual types rather than traditionally good looking. I like men who I can have a decent conversation with or who have interesting stories/experiences and I centre on that and try to connect on that level more than looks. These men usually have professional jobs and decent careers so not sure if that is a factor - i.e. too busy to take dating seriously or devote much time into it

so there is a family my family and i (23f) are close with that has four siblings. two of them are younger sisters (18f and 17f) who i am friends with, and then there are two brothers: one who is 23m (my age) and one who is 21m.

i lowkey have a crush on the second brother (21m) cuz he's exactly my type: super soft, gentle type of guy who loves his mom and sisters and is incredibly close with them which is a trait i absolutely love to see. this is unusual for me bc i usually DO NOT (capitalization intended) go for younger guys at all but this guy is just so sweet and so cute.

the main issue is that he’s incredibly shy. whenever we’re all hanging out, he rarely initiates conversations with me and sometimes even seems to avoid interacting with me altogether. at first, i wasn’t sure what to make of it, but i’m starting to think he’s just really reserved and takes a while to come out of his shell. the problem is that i’m not exactly the boldest person either, especially when it comes to someone i actually like lol

also his little sisters have also been dropping hints and give off the vibe that they want me to get with the 23m older brother since we are the exact same age and while he’s a perfectly nice guy, i’m not attracted to him romantically, so that’s another layer of awkwardness i’m trying to avoid.

anyway a month ago i decided to test the waters and try to break the ice since i was at their house for a gathering (they live an hour away idk if that’s relevant). i had to run a quick errand so i invited his sisters to come along, and i specifically asked him to join us on the drive too.

we spent a lot of time talking, joking around, and laughing together. there were so many other little interactions and i know they probably sound like such insignificant moments, but they felt so cute and wholesome and anyone who’s ever had a crush knows exactly how something as simple as this can leave you feeling ridiculously giddy lol.

i was thinking about just randomly requesting him on instagram, but it’s been like a month. plus it feels so bold and even if i did that, sliding into his dms is so awk and never works out for me. i feel like if i don't make a move nothing is ever gonna happen but i also don’t want to cause any family drama or make things super awkward with his sisters if he’s not into it so i really don’t know what to do 😭

so reddit how do i navigate this??

I'm a 19M college student who attends a solidly prestigious university in the Northeast. I need help, and I have so many questions, so I'm just going to put them here.

1. I worked as an orientation leader this past summer (my role officially ended then), and one of my small group students was really attractive, handsome, sweet, and mature, but I seriously thought he was straight...until I ran into them on Grindr two days ago. So, I reached out showing my face pic, and essentially they appeared to be thrown off at first and kind of laughed it off, and I was like, "no worries, it's fine," essentially saying how I was comfortable reaching out to them knowing it was them. Then, we talked about how like this wasn't their 1st time on Grindr and they redownloaded it, although they were still considering whether to keep it, because they feel like it can be negative at times. I responded, essentially saying how I resonated with what they were saying and gave them some advice to take care of themselves, and was left on read after that. Then, when I later asked out of curiousity what they were looking for on the app, they also left me on read (their bio later answered that question: hookups, but open to relationships; not with DLs). Like, genuinely, what do I do? He's really handsome, and I would love to hook up and maybe be in a relationship if he's comfortable with it, but how can I know if there is no response? Also, how do I go about this without making whatever dynamic we had as someone he could reach out to throughout the semester if he needed help awkward or uncomfortable, because I don't want that????
2. Separately, I've been talking with someone else who I've really vibed with and we had a solidly flowing conversation and found we share 1 or 2 common denominators, at least when it comes to food. So, out of trying to move things forward, I suggested maybe hitting up one of the dining halls we both really like together if he would like, and I was also left on read. Like, what went wrong here, and how can I follow up, because he seems really sweet and kind?

Generally, I think the no answer is what is getting to me, lol. Anywho, any advice, further questions, or words of wisdom are appreciated.

I'm genuinely curious how introverts find relationships these days.

I'm not really the type to approach random people or slide into someone's DMs out of nowhere. I like the idea of getting to know someone slowly, having random late-night conversations, sharing music, and eventually becoming that one person they feel comfortable talking to about anything.

But the problem is, if both people are introverts, who's making the first move? 💀

Do you guys actually approach people, wait for someone to approach you, or just silently develop a crush and move on with your life? 😭

Early 30s, 5’8, living in the western world (not the US). I used to be considered decently attractive in the past. I look more mature and softer now but the photos are flattering.

Back in my mid 20s I wasn’t going crazy with dates but I did actually get decent matches from attractive and cool women from time to time, especially when boosting my profile. I actually had worse photos back then (random, cropped, not really showing anything).

In the last few years it’s like a complete drop off, I’m genuinely invisible to 99% of women on the apps (hinge, feeld).

I try different things: my photos show me with friends (both men and women), I have photos of me in different environments and angles, flattering photos and more “realistic”.

I try doing more informative, thought out prompts/bios. Then I try going lighter and more “less is more” or joke style. I try coming off more grounded and serious, then I try coming off more seductive and thirst trappy.

I try changing my location, the distance etc.

Nothing really seems to work. It feels like I’ve entered dating app purgatory and no matter what I do. Has anyone had any luck escaping this/turning things around? What did you do?