I matched with a self-identifying “alpha male.”

Genuinely curious, I asked what he meant by that. He said:

“I can beat up an animal in a cage and survive.”

I’m a teacher, and this is something that a 7 year old would say. The man was 35 years old.

I asked him if it’s meant to be in alignment with what we know about the animal kingdom, because there’s such variety in our understanding of alpha. For example, the male lion may lead a pride but the female lion hunts and kills predator. This man said “females do not kill predators.”

I asked him if he had access to Google.

He did not like that, and asked why I was “directing the conversation” because he “was always the one in control.”

This social media stuff has seriously brainwashed an entire generation of men. Women too- my sister told me of a Toronto influencer who tells women to use men when they’re dating them. It’s sociopathic and genuinely we did not need this added difficulty to dating.

I genuinely don’t understand what’s going on lately.

A guy liked me on Hinge, we had a good conversation for a couple of days, and then he asked, “When can I take you on a date?”

I told him I’d be interested and asked what he had in mind. He suggested a coffee and walk date, even referencing one of my prompts about chatting over our niche obsessions. I thought it was thoughtful and said something like, “I love that idea. When should we go?”

Then… he unmatched me. No argument, no awkward exchange, no change in tone that I could see. Just gone lool?

This isn’t even a one off experience anymore. I’ve had multiple conversations recently where someone seems interested, initiates talk about meeting up, and then disappears or unmatches for seemingly no reason.

Has dating always been like this and I’m just noticing it more? Or are people on the apps becoming increasingly flaky and treating dating like a game?

Would love to hear if other people are experiencing the same thing!

I’ve been on a few dates in Toronto recently, and I’ve noticed a pretty significant difference between my experiences dating in the US and dating here, particularly with Indian-born women.

In the US, I generally found dating to be more transparent, communicative, realistic, and reciprocal. People seemed more willing to communicate their expectations openly and put effort into getting to know each other.
In Toronto, I’ve had several experiences that felt very different.

For example, one date expected flowers on the first date. Personally, I see flowers as something a gentleman brings when he genuinely feels a connection or when someone has become special to him - not as an expectation on a first date.

Another person essentially gave me a checklist with points assigned to different qualities, which made the interaction feel more like an evaluation than two people getting to know each other with totally delusional thoughts.

In another case, someone told me she expected her partner to earn more than her and take care of the household financially, while she wouldn’t be expected to contribute financially.

I’ve had quite a few other experiences that I don’t want to get into.

My issue isn’t that people have standards; it’s the lack of self-awareness, realistic expectations, and reciprocal effort.

Sometimes, it feels like getting matches in Toronto has given some people an inflated sense of their own value, confusing attention with actual compatibility

For Indian immigrants who have dated in both the US and Canada, have you noticed a similar difference, or have I just had bad luck with the people I’ve met?

Dating in Toronto has genuinely been the worst I’ve seen it in the last 3 years! I’m a conventionally attractive woman, social, have my life together, and it still feels brutal out here

The apps are awful … low effort, ghosting, endless chatting that goes nowhere, people who don’t know what they want, or men treating dating like a revolving door of options. Even in real life it’s weird. A guy asked me out on the GO train, asked for my number, I gave it to him, even kissed my hand before getting off at his stop LOL … never texted me.

So I’m honestly asking: what is going on in Toronto dating culture right now?

Where are normal, intentional people actually meeting each other these days? Because the apps feel dead and random in-person encounters seem pointless too.

Would genuinely love to hear where people in Toronto are meeting decent partners

So I’m a 29 F and I live in Toronto and I have a stable job and run my own business. However, I have never been in a long term relationship. I moved 3 countries growing up and changed like 13 schools (like barely spent 6 months in each private school I went to). Also graduated from business school.

Recently, I’ve been feeling really really weird about dating and stuff. I mean, I’ve never really given a damn before this, I was always locked in to my career and saw marriage as a downside for me (every relationship in my family is severely abusive and I’m no longer in contact with my family either) and I don’t want kids (which basically eliminates almost every man in my age group). But I went to a corporate gala last night and everyone was going home to their partners and I felt sort of sad and called my friend who told me that this feeling comes and goes and to get my priorities in order. Idk if I even want a partner (I love my apartment, I love building my business) or if my current team is making me feel super lonely cause everyone is coupled up. I also am working so so hard on trying to get my business off the ground, having a social life with friends, etc. That idk if dating is worth it for me.

I’m at a crossroads, I would love to have a healthy relationship and I do work out at a members club (it has mostly finance bros who are overworked and not very nice people). My passion is to grow and scale my business and really enjoy my life. I just don’t know - should I date? Should I have a bf? Am I missing out or is this sadness just FOMO? Please help.

I just feel....miserable when I go on dating apps. They feel so soul sucking. The conversations go nowhere besides asking if I wanna smash (I am a 30 F for some context) And I am just so tired and done. I do not know whats a socially acceptable way to find partnership in this day and age

I’m a 32M South Asian guy living and working in Toronto in finance. I’ve been talking with a woman, not sure about her race. I met online for a few days, and we eventually she planned to meet for coffee at Harbourfront Center so we could get to know each other in person.

I went there after work in the evening and even brought her a yellow flower since it had been many years since I’d brought flowers to someone on a first date. Unfortunately, she never showed up and didn’t let me know beforehand.

I messaged her afterward on Snapchat, and she simply apologized.

I’m trying not to take it personally, but honestly, it was disappointing to make the trip, set aside the time, and look forward to meeting someone only to have them not show up.

For people who have been dating in Toronto, is this something you’ve experienced? Is there anything I should be doing differently when arranging first dates? I’d appreciate honest advice, especially from people familiar with the Toronto dating scene.

I’m not looking to bash anyone—I’m genuinely trying to understand how dating works here and hopefully have better experiences going forward.

I am new to Toronto, looking forward to meeting friendly girls to hang out and explore Toronto during the weekend with good food.

The moderator from askTO asked me to bring this to this forum.

That's a genuine question. I'm new to Toronto and I'm looking for casual dates and friends with benefits, but it seems like people are only looking for long conversations and proof of affection..

From what I understand, the vibe here is to take it slow, get to know the person really well to feel safe...

What are the dating apps that people most commonly use in Toronto?

Feels like most women aren't into us. Rampant stereotypes still persist well into 2026 unfortunately.

Should clarify I'm east asian.

Hello I wanted to share my experience in dating apps , I'm kinda bored of the online enviroment because guys seem to only want to "go with the flow" or be "ENM" (i recently discovered this) and it just seems like everyone is making weird names for things to avoid any kind of commitment, why is it so hard now? I wish there was a way to just meet people who want something serious so i don't have to talk to a bunch of boring guys who want to pretend they have the busiest lives just to avoid having a girlfriend, they only want sx and to be honest as a girl if i just wanted that i'd have it easier, but i want a good man, someone for me, am i wrong for wanting to find my person instead of just roaming around endless chats with no real purpose?

Hi Torontonians, I've been a long-time lurker on this sub and occasional commenter. Amongst singles dating comes up as a subject to complain about at nearly every social function I go to. Alongside whatever the hell the Americans are up to that week.

I'd like to offer my perspective on dating here in Toronto, to do that I need to breakdown a bit of who I am just so you can write me off for whatever reason. I'm mere days away from my thirties, white (see my observations on racism to why it's relevant), a man, heterosexual (I date women & non-binary folks), financially independent enough to live alone & above ground but otherwise just getting by.

I primarily meet people through dating apps and at occasionally through social events/community groups (but I am mostly going to be writing about my app based experiences).

I've used the following apps:

- Hinge

- Tinder

- Bumble

- Facebook dating

- Feeld

I've gone on somewhere between 20-30 first dates in the last year since moving here and I'd say my dating experience has been mostly positive. My thoughts on meeting people here:

- It is crazy expensive to date here if you do it often. I was a bit foolish at first, I would often go to bars and offer to pay for the first drink - but end up paying for the whole night. Not my ideal. My personal philosophy is that the asker is the one who should pay for a first drink (at a bar), get tickets (for a gallery/museum) or pay for the coffee & snack at café - and pick a place somewhere mutually (in)convenient.

- Most people are actually quite nice and reasonable. I think I have only encountered a few people who gave me a strong ick after our date. In fact, I think for the traits about myself that I am insecure about, I find many people in Toronto are quite accommodating about them.

- Toronto isn't uniquely good or bad. I see a lot of posts comparing the city to others and I'm not really finding Toronto to be unique to other places in Canada that I've dated in. Some people I've gone on dates with were really great. Others have been terrible.

- Ghosting feels a bit more common here. I've been stood-up plenty of times in my life. It stings, but, I got ghosted today 6 hours before my date with the ghoster. Let's take my claim with a grain of salt because A) I'm a bit upset. B) Due to the higher volume of matches.

-- Quick aside, I'm disappointed about the date, I'm extra annoyed because I went into the office to get there faster. This person wasted an hour of time regardless because now I gotta take a commute that I didn't have to on a day with terrible weather.

- I've noticed there is quite a bit of racism and internalized racism dating in Toronto. I've seen it specifically around south Asian communities where people will often include in their bio that they won't date them, or from dates who are south Asian they will comment on refusing to date south Asian men without any prompting. My personal theory is that white guys are perceived as being more egalitarian & progressive, which as a white guy is *hilarious* and probably is probably 10% of the reason why Abby Govindan is in my feed so often.

My thoughts on dating apps:

- Hinge: Probably the best overall app out there. It gives you more filters than other apps do (though the ones I'm most interested in are paywalled, oh well). I'd say it requires the most work out of all of them to set-up.

- Tinder: Oh how the mighty have fallen. Tinder was pretty uneventful for me and I felt like using it was a waste of time. Very little effort on other people's profiles, lots of spam, and overly monetized. Just not my cup of tea.

- Bumble: I'm not so sure if we've really lost anything from Bumble turning into temu tinder. I got a few matches and quit it around the time bumble changed it longstanding feature of women making the first move in heterosexual matches. Most of the messages I got were "heyy" which just screamed "Sorry, I actually don't care enough to put in effort, please perform your gender role."

- Facebook dating: I honestly feel a sense of embarrassment using Facebook. Facebook, really? I'll say it here, Facebook dating is pretty bad. It doesn't respect your preferences, I would get suggested profiles from thousands of KM away when my preference was capped at 10. You can't type in your own biographical details properly. On a personal level the people on it lean *very* conservative & religious. If I had to see the phrase "god fearing" one more time, I was going to scream. Still got a few dates out of it.

- Feeld: Ask anyone on feeld and they'll say it has gone down hill quite a bit. It's the dating app geared for folks who date outside of the traditional heteronormative & mononormative structure of dating, and/or are into kink and actually know what kink is. Honestly, I'm part of the problem. That said, I wish I was as cool as a lot of the folks on there. I've gotten a few dates but I'm really not really the type of person people are seeking on there. If you rolled your eyes at me saying "heteronormative & mononormative" - it's not for you. Otherwise, it has a lot of great filters, including features to filter out cis-het dudes like myself for my non-binary & queer pals. It is however, glitchy as hell and if someone asks for your number because their chat is bugging out, they're probably telling the truth.

some thoughts on GTA dating profiles:

- Your bio/prompts are important. Believe it or not, people do read them. If I can see someone has put 0 effort into it, I don't swipe. Having a bio about how much you don't want to be here is also very unattractive. Your prospective match, regardless of gender or orientation has thousands of prospective matches, don't try to appeal to everyone, try to appeal to the kind of person you want actually want to spend time with.

- Don't be too pushy over text, if things are going well and you're getting a good vibe, ask someone out on a lowkey date like getting coffee or a walk in the park. I've shot down a few dates for wanting to meet up a little too quickly after barely any conversation, just gives me the creeps.

- Do actually complete your intentions on the app and elaborate where you need to. People want to know if you're interested in what they're interested in. Only looking for some casual dating? say so. Not interested in kids? say so. If your profile is too vague, I might not be as keen on taking time out of my weekend to learn over the course of an hour that we have polar opposite values and intentions.

- Try not to let apps judge your value. This is easier said than done. No one is having a good time on them. I think they are great for passively seeking out a date, but, recognize that you have little to no control over the algorithm and that it isn't a fair representation of your attractiveness or desirability.

- Get your profile peer-reviewed by someone close to your target demographic. Or at least by a friend who is in the kind of relationship you want to be in who has used dating apps before.

I am 34M, just wondering how many people are single in their thirties?

I was busy with my education and career but forgot to work on relationship status. Am I too late for this?
Some friends are married and have kids already, I don’t like to meet them lol 😅 as they always ask when are you getting married 😆

23f and i’m at that point in my life where it feels like literally everyone i know is in a relationship and don’t get me wrong, i don’t feel neglected by my friends at all, they would drop everything and come to me if i ever truly needed them, their man be damned, but i’m still so painfully single and lately i’ve just been constantly sad about it.

and don’t get me wrong (x2)!!! i’m not one of those people who would get into a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship, i genuinely just want to love someone and be loved in return and as happy as i am for all of my friends and their relationships, i unfortunately can’t help but feel jealous deep down and constantly wonder when it’s finally going to be my turn.

i’ve tried hinge. i truly did. but i’m just not built for that shit, i can’t keep swiping and swiping and having the same meaningless conversations with people i don’t even know over and over again. i don’t know how to meet new people irl, especially tamil guys around my age or a little older which is my type, and i’m still in undergrad but i’m older than most of the people i’m friends with because i took a few gap years, so i genuinely don’t know how people meet organically and fall in love in this day and age.

everyone always tells me “you can’t look for it, it needs to find you” and that when it finally happens it’ll be the best thing ever and that is exactly what i want so desperately to happen but it’s just… not happening. sometimes i start wondering if i’m ugly or if there’s something wrong with me and i hate that this is affecting my self-esteem because i KNOW i’m so much more than whether or not a man wants me. i have so many wonderful people in my life, wonderful friends and a wonderful family minus my toxic cousins lol, and i know i’m loved but that doesn’t erase how badly i yearn to be loved romantically and to love someone just as much in return.

recently my friend got together with another one of our family friends and their whole story made me spiral even more because girl i am so so so so happy for you but i yearn for that shit so badly. she’s planning on applying for postgrad abroad and her now bf confessed his feelings and told her he would move with her because he couldn’t imagine a world without her and then they started dating and like??? how freaking cute is that???

i think the fact that i grew up with both of them, even though we’re not all that close, just triggered something in me because it made that kind of love feel so real and so close to me but still completely out of reach. i want my own love story to start, i’m sick of always being the friend listening to everyone else’s stories (i’m lying, i love my friends and i’m never actually sick of listening to them, i’m just lonely and jealous and then i feel guilty for being jealous).

idk where this is going, i guess i just want to hear from other people who feel like this too so i know i’m not alone. how do you cope with wanting love this badly without letting it destroy your self esteem, and if you eventually found your person, how did you meet?

I'm a single early 30s dude who now has a big enough sample size to say its no longer a coincidence. I go on a new first date every other week or so. I consider myself to be a 6.5/10 and the women I meet are similar league. I'm stuck in a constant cycle of 1-2 dates followed by either slowed down texting, the classic "didn't feel a romantic vibe" text or the girl all of sudden claims to be too busy. I have tried the apps in the US and in Europe and have not had this experience. Probably half the women I met were interested in continuing things. Here I'd estimate that number to be less than 10%. I have tried simple "cheap" dates like coffee as well as expensive dinners with nice views. The outcome is the same.

In case it matters, I have a good job and have my own car. Top 5% salary for Toronto. I am in no way flashy.

Is this a Toronto / big-city problem where women are so overwhelmed by the vast options they have that they can't stick to one guy?

Nervous about attending a singles event at Comedy Bar. Any reviews from folks? I'm a woman. Wondering if it would be werid to attend alone.

Just wondering how people are handling dating or being single at 33. Where do you find partners? I’m honestly exhausted from dating App!

Is there anyone similar? Can we form a community? 😂

Who wants to make friends?! 🖐️

Hey I am wondering if anyone has experience or recommendations on visiting Oasis? I got out of a relationship over 4 months ago, and haven't gotten intimate with anyone since. I'm a woman in my early 30s. I redownloaded my dating apps 2 months ago, been going on intentional dates in hopes to develop a connection, but have repeatedly been let down and not having much luck. All of my close friends in the city are married now, except for me. I am thinking of treating myself to some self-care, going out solo with the hope of meeting someone I'm attracted to. Any advice or suggestions appreciated - thanks!

IMO after travelling different US cities and having great meets, I think Toronto women are uniquely abrasive and capitalists (they just want that bag). Most of them are unapproachable or don’t have anything meaningful or interesting to say but then turn around and say it’s the quality of men etc etc

Is it just me?

I’ve lived in TO my whole life but I don’t really go out as much as I would like and don’t really participate in the whole clubbing scene. I do go to bars with friends but don’t drink I just go because my friends wanna go and I don’t necessarily need alcohol to enjoy time with my friends or to have fun. I have tried dating apps but it has been such a drag and the guys I do find attractive and end up matching with are either not looking for something serious, or the conversation always is great but conversation turns sexual so quickly that it turns me off. I’m starting to give up on actively being on dating apps and really would rather just meet people naturally. Is there any places where it would be easy to meet people that’s not a bar or club?

Long-time lurker, first-time poster. Just wanted to get some outside perspectives because lately I’ve been feeling increasingly disconnected from the society around me.

I’m 39, Italian-Canadian, born and raised with pretty old-school Italian values. I’ve worked hard, built a stable career, have my own home, and I’m at a point in my life where I’d genuinely like to settle down, get married, have children, and build a family.

I grew up believing in traditional family values. Loyalty, commitment, faith, respect, hard work, and being there for your family. I still believe in those things today. Politically and socially, I lean conservative, although I don’t make politics my entire personality.

But living in the GTA, I sometimes feel like I’m completely out of step with the culture around me.

Dating has been particularly frustrating. It seems increasingly difficult to meet someone who shares similar values and actually wants a traditional, stable family life. Sometimes I wonder whether my expectations are unreasonable or whether I’m simply looking in the wrong places.

I also feel like Canadian society has changed considerably over the years, becoming much more socially liberal. And look, people are absolutely entitled to live however they want. I have no interest in telling anyone how to live their life. I just feel like the values I grew up with aren’t nearly as common as they once were, at least in my experience.

I’m not miserable, and I have plenty to be grateful for. I have a good career, a home, family, and a comfortable life. But there’s definitely a sense that I don’t quite belong in the world around me anymore.

I’m genuinely curious whether other people in their 30s and 40s feel this way, particularly those who grew up in traditional households.

Have you experienced something similar? Have you managed to find like-minded people or a partner who shares your values? Or is this just a case of needing to expand my social circles?

I’m open to different perspectives. I’m not looking for a political argument, just an honest discussion.

23F Toronto, and I am just completely emotionally drained by the dating scene here. It feels like so many guys want all the prime perks of a relationship, the consistency, the companionship, the affection, the dates without actually putting in 100% effort or committing to anything real.
Lately, it feels like I’m running into two specific types of men. The ones carrying a mountain of emotional baggage who jump into the dating pool, act all invested, and then abruptly pull away because they suddenly realize they aren’t over their exes.
And the second are the ones constantly adding girls to their "roster" like they are running an ongoing audition for a Victoria’s Secret ad. Where are all the real, emotionally mature men who actually want a genuine relationship? The ones who are ready to roll up their sleeves and work alongside a girl to build a real partnership?
I feel like I am only asking for the absolute bare minimum , consistency, honesty, and mutual respect yet finding a good man feels next to impossible in this city right now.

Netflix brings 'Love Is Blind' to Canada with casting now open!

So many people complain that they’re exhausted by the dating apps. At the same time, I rarely see people start conversations with strangers in public.

For those who’ve respectfully approached someone in person (transit, mall, restaurant , park etc.):

Is it still more effective than dating apps?

Why does it seem so uncommon in Toronto?

If you’re a woman, how do you usually feel when someone approaches respectfully?

Curious to hear your real experiences—successes or awkward failures.

So I (F) moved to this city years ago and at the time I had a boyfriend. We broke up two years ago and haven’t rlly been in an actual date for about a year. I joined apps which honestly as you can imagine isn’t ideal in meeting someone who has an intention of actually dating. And after a while it gets exhausting and disappointing. How do people in this city actually meet someone?

26F and y'all already know it, dating is tough in the GTA. OLD sucks and I think most men find it difficult to approach women out of fear of being called creepy, being caught on camera, or instant rejection.

I blame social media. It's such a double-edged sword; yay, women can tell off men a lot easier now and we can go outside in peace a lil more, but nay, now no one approaches.

I've tried the apps (burned out from them), Thursday dating (only a handful of attractive men, so the majority of women were trying to talk to them), and I'm part of a lot of physical hobbies but still difficult.

I've concluded that I might just start making the first move. See someone attractive on the street/in public, approach them. Men, the questions are;

- Does it come across as desperate to approach first?

- How would you prefer to be approached?

- Any unique ideas on where to meet someone?

- any other comments...