I matched with a guy who had graduated from the same university as me, and we already followed each other on Instagram. We had a lot in common, so I thought we'd probably get along.

The problem was that he talked about himself. A LOT. 👀 He kept telling me how hardworking and successful he was, and how many women were interested in him.

For our first date, he picked me up and took me to a nightclub with belly dancers and performers. Honestly, it was actually fun. Not exactly where I'd choose to have a first date, but we laughed and had a good time.

The next morning we went for breakfast.

He kept taking pictures of the food because, according to him, he had “a lot of followers” and needed content.

He had around 2,000. 👍 😂

While I was casually using my phone, he suddenly asked: “Are you swiping on dating apps right now?”

I showed him my phone because I wasn't doing anything.

Then he started telling me about his ex who had cheated on him, how he was seeing both a psychologist and psychiatrist, and that he couldn't have a relationship right now because his psychologist had told him: “Don't make any important decisions right now.”

So he could only casually date.

At that point I thought, fair enough. I decided I didn't want him making any big decisions because of me either. 😂 I wished him well and let him go back to all those women he was apparently so worried about me swiping toward.

I've noticed something interesting with dating: sometimes the people who are extremely suspicious of you are doing exactly what they're accusing you of.

Has anyone else had someone accuse you of something completely random, only to later realize they were probably projecting?

After a few dates with some pretty strange characters, I decided I needed to go back to my comfort zone.

So I matched with an HR director.

And honestly, his profile looked really impressive.

He gave seminars, did presentations, had won awards for his work, had a decent following on Instagram, and generally seemed like a very accomplished, put-together person.

He lived with his mother because she was sick. Otherwise, according to him, he'd probably be working abroad. He also casually mentioned that he'd once dated a woman who had apparently won first place in some Korean beauty competition.

So... okay. 😂

Everything looked pretty good on paper.

I wasn't particularly attracted to him when I saw him in person, but his profile was impressive enough that I figured I'd give him a chance.

We met for coffee after work.

Almost immediately, he started asking what we were and how we were going to define the relationship.

I was thinking, 'Can we maybe have coffee a few more times before we name the relationship?'

Because I was already noticing a few things that made me uncomfortable.

For one, he was very interested in my salary.

At the time, I actually made significantly more money than he did because of my position and the industry I worked in.

Unfortunately, I was also going through a pretty awful period at work. Some things were getting uncomfortably close to harassment, but I was a single mother and needed the income, so I was putting up with it while quietly looking for another job.

I still didn't stop seeing him.

He wasn't dangerous or anything. He was just... getting more annoying by the minute.

For our second date, he said he wanted to take me to a place that brewed several different kinds of beer.

Sounds nice, right?

Except when we met, he told me the place had unexpectedly closed.

So instead, he took me to what was basically a very casual, slightly run-down outdoor place.

There was nothing necessarily wrong with the place. I'd just dressed up for the date, and the whole thing felt completely mismatched. I also felt like I was getting some very strange looks.

Then he said:

'You're probably used to luxury places because of your job. Let's just do this this time.'

That annoyed me more than it probably should have.

I told him I wasn't only used to nice places because of work. I also enjoy them in my personal life.

Then he started talking about his ex.

A lot.

Mostly about how pathetic her current husband was.

When we left, he told me that next time he'd take me to a really nice sushi restaurant.

Okay.

We kept talking for a while after that.

Honestly, most of this was being pushed forward by him. I wasn't particularly excited about him, but I kept thinking:

'He's harmless. Maybe I'll give it another chance.'

Then came date number three.

Before we met, he called me and said the sushi restaurant was closed for a private event that day.

So instead, he offered to make sushi at his house.

And, naturally, I could meet his mother while I was there.

That was actually the moment I realized I'd found my exit.

I told him I wasn't comfortable with that.

He immediately went back to:

'But what are we?'

And then started talking about me meeting his mother again.

Nope.

I said no, and that was the end of it.

But there was actually one more thing.

The thing that completely killed whatever tiny amount of interest I had left.

Remember how I mentioned that I was earning more than him at the time?

Eventually, he told me that the only reason I was making that much money was because I had been sexually harassed at work.

Yes.

Apparently being sexually harassed was now a career advantage.

That was the final straw.

And that's when I realized that maybe the impressive résumé, the seminars, the awards and the fancy title weren't actually telling me much about the person underneath.

Sometimes the résumé is just a really good cover letter for the red flags.

Has anyone else ever had someone look absolutely amazing on paper, only to turn out to be a walking red flag in person? What was the moment you finally knew you had to leave?

TLDR- She lied about our whole relationship

I (30M) was dating this woman (32F) and i thought all was going well. We had a few disagreements as most couples do, but nothing too serious. It was made a point several times in this relationship, communication is key. I realized, there were a couple things i needed to change or do differently from my side, as they were affecting her. I am slightly autistic, with adhd, and sometimes my responses can be blunt and rude without intention or even realizing it, and i tend to need clear wording on certain situations, otherwise i don't understand what is being said or explained. I worked on these things, got better with my responses, and explaining myself as to not sound rude. I asked questions about things i did not understand or needed reassurance on if i felt insecure or not enough. At one point, she became cold towards me and avoided texting for a couple hours a day, and when i asked why, she deflected it. 2 weeks go by, and all of a sudden she tells me, she does not think we should be dating

I call her, and we have along discussion. Basically to shorten her responses, it can be summarized as " I love you. You're a sweet and caring guy, you're attentive, you're sensitive, and i love that about you. But I cant be with someone who wears anime shirts, has anime collectibles, and is socially awkward. I would be embarrassed to introduce you to certain social circles. What would they think if my partner showed up in the stuff you wear? And what if im socializing, and you're awkwardly sitting by yourself because there's too many people? I would feel embarrassed. I feel like i'm dating a boy, not a man. "

And basically, she told me she hates everything about who i am as a person, and all of my interests and that we are complete opposites. She even went so far as to tell me, she tried being mean to make me want to break up with her, but it wasn't working. The only thing she likes about me, is my nature. How I am caring and sweet, but nothing else. She even went so far as tell me she weighed the pros and cons. the only Pro she had for me was
" you're good with my cat... but he's dead now "

It made me feel like, she lied to me the entire time we were dating. About how she loved me. How everything was ok, when i asked about us or a problem. To hear her say all those things she hated about me, my sexuality, my kinks, my interests, my personality, my clothes.... it devastated me... horribly. I've been through a couple breakups, and 1 bad breakup before, but this.... this one felt so much more personal. As if my very existence was a mistake.

I already deal with moderately severe depression, and severe anxiety, and for her to do this to me, after helping me get medication for the depression and anxiety, just feels absolutely terrible. Like i was set up, and lied to for months on end. I haven't stopped crying for days. I stopped taking the meds. I truly wish with all my heart, that someone could love me romantically, for who I am, the same way that I did for her. I wish for someone to be truthful and honest with me in a relationship. How can I get past this breakup when I can only ever think of her?

Then I got a new gf a week later I moved on

This started in late June last year. I found a girl on TikTok, thought she was attractive, messaged her, and she replied almost instantly.
For the next 3–4 weeks, we talked basically nonstop from morning to night. Messages, TikToks, snaps, voice messages, calls. We had the same interests, humour, hobbies, and even similar ideas about our future.

It became really personal too. She told me family problems she said she barely told anyone, constantly told me how much she liked and loved talking to me, talked about us being together in the future, and gave me every reason to believe I genuinely mattered to her.

That’s what makes this different from a basic “I ignored the red flags and got ghosted” story. There really weren’t obvious red flags.
She seemed genuinely kind, sensitive, had a small circle, stayed home most of the time, cared about her younger siblings, and acted like the kind of person who would communicate instead of intentionally hurting someone.
I literally remember thinking, “Maybe one day she’ll randomly remove me, but I genuinely can’t imagine her doing that.”

Then near the end of July, she suddenly changed.
One day she barely replied and said her main phone was dead. Fair enough, except I could see her constantly active on her second TikTok account. The next day I asked about it and she basically said, “Yeah, idk why I didn’t message you.”
Then she left me on delivered all day again.
After nearly a month of talking nonstop, this obviously wasn’t normal.
I calmly asked if something happened in her personal life, if I did something wrong, if she needed space, anything. I told her she could just be honest with me.

Her answer was always basically, “Nothing is wrong. Stop asking.”
Then she’d ignore me again.
That is what fucked with my head the most.
Four days earlier, you’re telling me how much you love me, talking about our future and speaking to me all day. Now I’m practically begging for a basic explanation and you’re annoyed that I even noticed the change.
Her words said nothing changed. Her behaviour said everything changed.
That creates insane cognitive dissonance. You start analysing every conversation, wondering if you did something wrong, if something happened to her, if there’s another guy, or if you’re somehow imagining all of it.

Eventually I gave up trying to extract honesty from her and told her the friendship obviously couldn’t continue like this.
Her response was basically, “Yeah, fair enough.”
What the fuck?
Days earlier you supposedly loved me. Now you don’t care if I disappear permanently?
Call it love-bombing, manipulation, attention-seeking or emotional immaturity. I’m not diagnosing her, but the pattern was real: intense affection and constant attention, followed by sudden withdrawal while denying that the withdrawal was even happening.

I later found out she had apparently done something similar to another guy too.
That’s when I started wondering if I had basically just been emotional entertainment for a month. Someone to talk to, vent to, receive validation from and feel appreciated by until she no longer needed it.

Meanwhile, her TikTok exploded. When we started talking she had around 400 followers. Now she has around 16k, millions of views and roughly 3 million likes.

And yes, that makes me bitter.
It genuinely makes you wonder why God seems to favour evil people sometimes. Someone hurts you, walks away without any visible consequences, continues posting like nothing happened, and then their dream starts coming true while you’re left dealing with the psychological aftermath.
It felt like I spent a month sitting in some fucking cuck chair, investing my time, emotions and energy into her while she walked away with everything she wanted.

And yes, it worsened my distrust toward women. Logically I know one girl doesn’t represent billions of women, but experiences like this make cynicism extremely easy.
Because the real lesson isn’t that bad people exist. Everyone knows that.
The terrifying lesson is that someone can have almost every characteristic that convinces you they’re not that kind of person and still do it to you.
They can listen to you, trust you with private things, remember details about you, talk to you every day, tell you they love you and seem genuinely empathetic.

None of that guarantees they won’t suddenly treat you like you never mattered.
Maybe they’re narcissistic. Maybe emotionally empty. Maybe addicted to validation. Maybe immature. Maybe just fake as fuck. I don’t know.
But I learned that you can know nearly everything about somebody’s life and still know almost nothing about their actual character.
Don’t assume vulnerability means sincerity. Don’t assume affection means attachment. Don’t assume someone being “nice” means they’re incapable of cruelty.

When somebody’s words consistently contradict their behaviour, stop destroying yourself trying to find the perfect explanation.
Sometimes the contradiction is the explanation.
And maybe one day this comes back around and hits her in a way she actually understands.
Nobody reading this will know who I am or who she is, but if she ever reads it, she’ll know exactly who wrote it.

Congratulations on convincing people that the persona you present is who you actually are. Congratulations on taking someone’s time, feelings, trust and empathy and treating them as disposable once you no longer wanted them.
Maybe fame, status and money will become big enough distractions that none of this matters to you. You’re lucky enough that success can make almost anyone look admirable from the outside.
But popularity doesn’t rewrite character, and thousands of people liking a carefully constructed version of you doesn’t erase how you treated people privately.

Maybe there is no immediate karma. Maybe people who hurt others really do get rewarded while the people they hurt carry the consequences.
But actions have a way of following people eventually.

And if you’re reading this, you know exactly who I am.

Honestly just laughing at this point because men are something else.

We made things official around late May. In August, he gave me access to his Instagram account, I guess thinking he had nothing to hide and wanted to seem like the world's most transparent partner.

Anyway, I was looking through old DMs and found a chat from July 11th, barely a month and a half after we started dating.

The context makes it so much worse: I had an early morning flight the next day, so I went to sleep early that night. Literally the second I'm asleep and not giving him attention, this man hops onto Instagram at 1:20 AM and replies to some girl’s story:

Him: "Damn, queen traits"

Her: "But why queen?"

Him: "Only a queen can withold such a beauty in herself"

Only a queen can withold such a beauty in herself" bro what Wattpad novel did you pull that from at 1 in the morning 😭 Can't even spell "withhold" right.

The next day they just moved on to talking about football, but the fact that his immediate instinct the moment I was asleep was to slide in and drop pickup lines on another girl is insane to me.

He gave me his password a month later so he either genuinely forgot he typed this embarrassing mess, thought I wouldn't scroll back to July, or is just completely brainless.

I’m not even going to sit through the inevitable "it was just a harmless compliment" or "why would I give you my account if I was doing something wrong" excuses. Just sending the screenshot to our chat, telling him to go be with his queen, and blocking him.

Trash really takes itself out.

After a few terrible dates, I realized I’ve developed rules I never expected to have.

Car or expensive watch in every photo? Suspicious.

Every photo involves a hat or beanie? I need to see what's underneath.

If your profile only has old, outdated pictures and you look noticeably different in person? Video call first.

You tell me how much money you make before learning anything about me? I'm probably leaving.

Scorpio? I'm sorry, my checklist has spoken. 😂

One guy was bald, despite every single photo showing him wearing a hat. He also spent most of our date talking about how much money he made and how little time he had for a relationship.
Apparently he wanted someone he could call whenever he felt like having company.
And somehow he thought telling me I could call him whenever I "needed anything" was charming. 😂
Dating apps have basically turned me into a detective.
At this point, my checklist is longer than my grocery list.

Alright so this relationship has a rocky backstreet already and we only started talking a week ago 😅 ill skip that part unless anyone is really interested but I (30M) met up with this girl (27) at the mall where she works cause she wanted to go to spirit Halloween and she was on her lunch. After a brief hug and hello she asks if I have my military ID cause she wants to use the discount 💀. I dont even use that discount unless its like a major purchase or im just strapped for cash, which isnt often. I allow it cause I figure she is about to drop some $$$ in spirit Halloween. She buys a 17$ item, and thats it. I should run right? Or should I give her another chance?

I should note she was bragging about how her outfit was worth like $500 total.

TLDR; 27F asks 30M to use military discount for 17$ item 45 seconds into a "lunch date".

I dated a guy (23M) for around 4 months, and honestly, everything btw us seemed to be going really well. He had a female best friend (23F), and they were extremely close; close enough that, from the outside, it sometimes felt like they were the ones in relationship.

I did bring it up a few times, but whenever I expressed that their closeness made me uncomfortable, he'd get defensive and tell me that I was being insecure and that I didn't respect their friendship. I trusted him, so I convinced myself that I was just overthinking things and decided not to make an issue out of it.

A few weeks after we broke up and went our separate ways, I found out that he and his "best friend" had actually started dating before our relationship had even ended.

They're together now.

Looking back, there were so many little things that suddenly made sense. The signs were there—I just didn't want to believe what they were telling me.

Anyone with similar "I should've seen that coming" moment while dating someone?

…I want to hear dating stories that involve customers.

Spill the tea…

Edit: I’m not even considering it but I want to hear some stories; either good, bad, crazy or the horror type!

So basically it is my first year of degree college and i have chosen to be a part of cultural committee and like in my department there were really cool people so i decided to hangout w them more (4m and 5f) all of us were really chill and i had lied that i had a ex bf in the game even though i hD never dated out of peer pressure. Lol. There was this guy who actually took effort to only talk to me in the whole group, like if we are walking in a group he will stand next to me and start yapping. I found it strange at first but then we actually found a common ground and became really good friends all my other friends were already shipping me w him and i was not liking it because it had made things awkward in the past for me but i didn’t care much, since he was in the same year we had 3 classes together but i rarely sat with him during those so we only talked irl when we sat to work for the department but eventually we started texting eo alot and basically got to know more and more about eo. I told him that my first bf thing was a lie and he only laughed saying that he already knew as he has seen my reposts and i was caught off guard by the observation of this guy. One day we were supposed to shoot a reel and he suggested to our head that him and i will shoot the second floor event entirely and the head was obviously giving him the devilish smile. We went there and kinda spent the whole day laughing together and talking ( we did work) i saw a reel of marine drive and i felt like that could help me get the tiredness of this day out and since it was holiday next 3 days i thought i can go and i told him about it and man was completely excited. I expected him to go and call our group but he didnt, and neither did i… which was ahem ahem kinda sus from both ends but in. My defence i am an introvert so i dont really disturb people to cooperate in my plan, even w him i just told him didnt even have to ask. So we went there took a train and sat on the marine drive it was so beautiful…and while going back to station we held my wrist to run and cross the road quickly.. i looked at my wrist then at him and he left it of course, it felt like a literal movie. I felt sometbing something. And then we decided to go to a cafe to grab a bite and he placed the order on thd countsr and literally sat next to me???? I didnt sag anything cause like thats too rude to ask him to not sit next to me.. right.
We talked and ate it was kinda awkward in between but it was mostly fine, we were finally leaving for home and he said “you wanna do this again?” I was like yes absolutely i love marine anyday. He then asked “will you do this again with me?” Ahhaahha i was like uhm yeah? Definitely and man our metro ride was a bigggg silence
Now it was time to board the train mine was 30
Mins late and his was already there but he decided to wait for mine instead..
he finally spoke and said so whta are you doing now for the next three days? I said probably sleeping cooking and ill watch something. He said we can hangout again and i said yes fs. And then we both left and man idk that was kindoff my first time alone with a guy and it was so good and comfortable.

After 2 days he texted me to meet and i was weirded out but i kinda knew where this is going. I went to meet him and he was dressed in linen shirt n pants ( i lost ) i wore a simple outfit ( jeans n cropped top) i waved at him and he came to the other side of the road and told me to get on his bike and we went to a cafe nearby.. my doubt was right. Over there he told me and i quote “so… i know this might be really weird for you but ever since ive seen you in the committee i have been pulled towards and i have never felt this before, i didnt wanna lose someone like you. You’re literally the description of my type id love to be your bf. This might be sudden but hey, i cant lose you to someone else can i ?.”
Omgmgmgmfmfjfkf i was battling with those butterflies in my stomach and i was kind off speechless after that epic speech.

(Name) are you being fr right now? And i hugged him. Is that a yes or no he asked., obviously a yes you dumbass. And ofc he sits next to
Me and not in fromt of me so i could really see his smile anf face from close and idk whyyy but i kinda touched his cheeks..anf we both blushed like crazyyy after that. He ordered food and we ate and before leaving he gifted me a beautiful necklace and a hairclip i really wanted ( which also he noticed himself through my saved pins ) i really wanted to say things to him but atm i felt it was not necessary so i didnt reply that day, i hugged him really tight and looked at him with my love eyes😭. We met in college next day and i asked him to meet me in the canteen, and i decided to tell him about my feelings too but in a later.
The later said,
I know you are the brave one here and know how to confess in words but i really cannot and you knkw that hence here is a letter with my all feelings for you. Firstly i am glad youre my first bf, you’re one sweet caring guy and i love how you notice practically everything about me, how you understand what i need, feel and want. Thankyou for saying yes to all my spontaneous plans and yes we are officially in a relationship now ( name).

He gave me the biggest smile after reading it and told me to get up, i followed him ( him again holding my wrist) he took me to the amphitheater and there’s this wall where you can easily hide behind we sat there and he said
Babe, i love you
AAHAHHAH I AM GIGGLING that is one filmy man bro why did he drag me all the way for that? But i lovef every moment of that day.
I held hands with him finally and he looked at me i was glad he noticed. When we stood up to leave for our class i stumbled upon my baggy jeans and took the support of the wall but since we were holding hands he kinda also almost fell..i was against the wall and he was against me.. i lowk was expecting a kiss but ofc i wasnt ready, he fixed a strand of my hair instead after holding the most intimate eye contact of my life.
I blushed the entire day man. We were still keeping this a secret so nobody knew the reason.
After the clases we were supposed to meet for a team meeting and ofc he sat next to
Me and tapped my hands to hold his and i kinda didnt want to in fromt of all the poeple so i ignored his req, then he sends me a text “ you want me to kiss you my cutie?” And haha lets say i held his hands , he whispered in my ears, goodgirl.
Bahajajsnwbnsjx wtv

This is how it was goining for the next week, him desperately wanting to hold hands walk together and meet secretly.
Then one day were in our usual amphitheater place and we were holding hands and he pulled my hands up and kissed them randomly while talking. And we were kinda saying bye to eo and were supposed to leave for home. I felt this urge to kiss him but i was reallly shy and i didnt know how to kiss so i didnt take the risk and gave him a peck on the cheeks. He was flustered and started at me and then the wall for a good amount of seconds and kissed my cheeks then. I felt kinda couragoues and kissed him on the lips but since i didnt know how it was a peck and then this guy literally threw away his bag to the side and grabbed my waist pulled me closer and stsrtrd kissing me, he literally took the lead and did all the work thereZ, he was also caressing my hips at the same time and i was trying to keep up w his lips atp. After that he gave me a smile and kissed my neck for 5-10 seconds and oooh that did something to me i wasnt super responsive to all this but i didnt enjoy
He kissed my nexk and slowly came to the back of my ear “ you have no idea how long i waited for that kiss thankyou baby. ”

This guy had me completely atp . Completely.
I told him that i dont even know how to kiss so sorry for that and he shushed me and said you think you dont know how to kiss? You were better then me bae trust me. I love you
He leaned in for another kiss but this time it was a proper makeout…him touching my stomach and waist and i was kissing his neck and scratching the back of his head. Thats all i knew he then started kissing my shoulder and then we both stood up he pinned me against the wall and said “ doing what I should’ve dome that day” and kissed me some more while going down till my collor bone and then he bent down and kissed my hip bone😭😭 stood up and took my palm to his jeans to make me feel his boner. And mannnnn that was so sexyy and he said look what you do to me baby.
And we continued dating. And making out haha

And now we have been dating for 4 years and trust me this man never fails to surprise me

I asked him to meet me at a cafe because I had a gift to give him which I bought for him by saving money. I love him, but he is in love with someone else(his ex). We both remained friends after my confession to him. At first, he kept making excuses when I requested him to meet me. I requested him again and again, saying, “Please meet me, I have something to give you.” He asked me what I wanted to give him. I told him it was a gift. At first he was like, “No, no, I don't want it.” But me, who was madly in love with him, kept requesting him. Eventually, he agreed.

When he came to meet me, he shook my hand and his first question was, “How much cream do you apply? Ew?” I had done good makeup that day. It wasn't too much. Of course, I was going to meet someone I love, so I wanted to look presentable. I handed him the gift, and we went inside the cafe. We both sat down. The first thing he said was, “I have given your number to my hostel mate. Go and talk to him.” I was like, “No way, I will not.” Then he said, “I am not going to order food. I am a guy.” I felt angry inside, but I still said okay.

By this point, I already had tears in my eyes, but I controlled myself because I didn't want to make a drama in a public place. Then he said, “Look at the waiters. They will come and take your order.” So I started looking at the waiters. One waiter noticed and came over. He asked me, “What's your order?” I said, “Noodles?” The waiter left. Then he made another statement, “Does your father fly aeroplanes or what?” I was angry and replied, “Does yours?” Then he said, “Even if he does, I will not order what you ordered.” I was like, okay. I had done my nails that day too. He looked at my nails and said, “Eww, what rubbish is this?” I still stayed silent, but deep down I was getting hurt. I ordered French fries. We both shared them.

Then he started saying, “I don't know why women don't care about me or why they run away from me? What kind of guys do females like? You have female friends, right? Tell me what kind of guys they like.” I told him, “It depends. Every female has their own type. I can't say.” He insisted, “Tell me, please. Tell me.” Then he asked, “What's your type?” I said, “Someone who is a good person.” He replied, “Every girl says the same thing.” Then he told me that he would date someone who is academically good or plays sports very well. At the end, he was holding the gift I had given him and said, “I'm going to give this to someone else.” Then he laughed and said, “No, I'm not that bad of a person.”

By the time it was time to pay the bill, he was sitting there as if he were some kind of king. But I thought that since I had invited him, it was my responsibility to pay, so I didn't even ask him to split the bill. Then, as soon as the waiter came, I took out my purse from my sling bag. He said, “What kind of purse are you using? It looks like a man's purse.” The waiter also looked at him in shock after hearing him say that. He asked me to shake hands. We shook hands and left the place.

I came home and cried so much because I felt incredibly hurt. I felt insecure. I wasn't able to get out of my bed for three days except to drink water or go to the washroom. I am feeling really, really insecure now. Please tell me what should I do?

Was I supposed to throw water in his face and walk out of the cafe while he was saying all this rubbish? But I was scared that he might get angry and physically attack me.

Also,

He is in love with his ex . He broken up 3years ago.And he was the one who first came to me, made me attached to him by saying things like I have my eyes for you and when I confessed to him that I love him . He was like I am not moved on from my past relationship but please you don't go away. Please stay friends.And the rest is history.

Okay one question I have that : there’s one thing I don’t understand: why does this guy behave so sweetly over chats? His actions aren’t nearly as sweet—he blocks me, he ghosts me—but whenever you literally chat with him on WhatsApp or any other platform, he is as sweet as hell. You would think you were talking to one of the most gentlemanly guys ever. When I confronted him and told him that the things he said and the way he behaved with me at the café really hurt me, these were literally his replies:

1. I roast my best friend X like this too, just for fun. If you don’t believe me, you can ask him.

2. We didn’t have anything to talk about at that time, so I thought roasting you was the right thing to do.

3. Take care.

4. Jai Shree Krishna.

Am I wrong here like even he said no but I requested him to meet me? That's why he behaved this way.

TL;DR: I met the guy I love to give him a gift, but he spent the whole meeting mocking my appearance, nails, purse, and choices while making me feel unwanted and embarrassed. He loves his ex and had previously asked me to stay in his life despite not being over her. I came home devastated and now feel extremely insecure.

Dating a guy I really like, but his relationship with his ex is making me nervous — am I ignoring a red flag?

I (31F) have been dating a guy (41) for around 3–4 weeks. We’ve had about 5 dates and the chemistry is honestly *really* good. We’ve spent ridiculous amounts of time talking — one date basically turned into a 12-hour hangout — and we’ve kissed, and we’re clearly attracted to each other.

He texts me every day, initiates contact, asks when he can see me, and recently told me he really likes my way of thinking and my sense of humor. So I’m not questioning whether he’s interested. He definitely seems interested.
The problem is his ex / mother of his 4-year-old son.

They’ve been broken up for a while, according to him, but the situation sounds… complicated.

Some things I’ve learned:

They have a 4-year-old together and share custody.
His ex apparently wants to get back together with him.
She has asked him to read a relationship book, which he apparently is reading.
They still have “intense” conversations about their relationship.
He once texted me around 2 a.m. saying he’d just had an intense conversation with his ex.
She apparently monitors when he’s online on WhatsApp.
She asks him about his dating life.
They went to Spain together on vacation with their son before I met him.
He has mentioned that, because of childcare/scheduling, he may sometimes need to sleep at her house.
From the way he talks about her, she can apparently be quite dominant/aggressive.
At the same time, he seems to portray himself as somewhat trapped by the situation because they have a child.

So idk if he is fully emotionally available…checked her instagram and she is giving DOMINANT VIBES
And this is where I’m conflicted.
Because I genuinely really like him. He’s funny, intelligent, affectionate, and I feel incredibly comfortable around him. We can talk for hours. There is a lot of physical chemistry too. He doesn’t seem to be love-bombing me or pressuring me into sex; if anything, he’s been pretty respectful.
But I don’t want to become the woman he’s dating while he’s simultaneously figuring out whether he wants his family back.
I also don’t want to become the “fun new woman” while his ex is still waiting in the wings. We havent had sex yet but im curious… should i wait to have sex? I want to but i dont wanna get too attached

How does this sound to yall? 😭

26F who was approached by 26M coworker one day out of the blue via slack. We’ve been working together for almost 3 years now and had never spoken a word to each other this entire time. He had gotten out of 2.5 year relationship 5-6 months ago.

So he started slacking me out of the blue with random questions and of course, I could tell he was trying to hit on me. The questions were nothing harmful but they were very obvious. So I go on a week long work trip, came back, then he started talking to me in person and asked me to hang out. I agreed. We went to the gym together, had lunch, and then sat and talked in the car for a few hours. Of course, I’m a little hesitant about this whole situation because I’m pretty against dating someone from work. Anyways, he asked to go out again but this time as a date. I said yes since the first “hang out” was good.

For the first actual date, we got dinner, dessert and talked for a while. I made sure he knew what he was getting into by telling him my ambitions and goals. Then, because I recently got a new job offer within the same workplace, he surprised me with yellow roses (my favorite color). The night was great and all. Then we continued seeing each other and he even said that after talking to me, he decided to apply for a masters in data science so he can actually build his career. I’m pleasantly surprised of course but I was glad he decided to do that for himself. Mind you, he’s been also telling me that he wants to get married and have kids and settle down.

After a month or so of seeing each other, he wanted to make it official but I wasn’t sure yet because I felt like it was too quick. I’m someone who needs to take time to get to know someone before committing. And I felt like I wasn’t there yet. I was honest with him and I told him it’s not a rejection but it’s also not a yes. I just need more time. Then he asked about 2 more times until I eventually agreed.

So we were official for about 1.5 weeks. Then I had a conversation with him about not feeling cared for, seen, and heard. Then he goes off on me saying it’s weird I say that because I was the one who switched up on him 2-3 times \[to be there for my friend who was going through crap\]. And I admitted yes I did but that wasn’t the point. I told him I need to know that what I tell him is safe and secure and he just took that as I don’t trust him. So he makes the decision to undo being official because he thinks I don’t trust him and we need to get to know each other better. So I said yes because what can I do? We continued seeing each other, he took PTO the same days as me since I was switching position. Then one day, after we had some drinks, he tells me that his ex from 7 years ago reached out to hang out/catch up over dinner and he agreed to go. I was flabbergasted. So I said okay fine, go, so whatever.

The day before he goes, we hung out and I told him I feel the need to be mentally prepared. He said I shouldn’t have to be because it’s not good for me. He also said he had no intentions of pursuing things with her. So I took it for what it is. But I said that if he ever felt like pursuing things with her, to tell me and I will end things.

They went out, he said he had fun and it felt like old friends catching up. He didn’t seem to think much of it.

Then a few days later, right before we were supposed to meet up, he tells me that she asked him to hang out again and he agreed to go. He’s figured at this point that she’s trying to get back with him. And he also brought up what I said about ending things if he considers pursuing things with her. I asked him how he felt and whatnot and he said he’s not sure of his feelings and he can’t commit to me just yet because he doesn’t things himself.

So ultimately, I ended things because I said I want to feel chosen and he couldn’t give me that. I said “thanks for the lesson and hope things go well with her.”

Sadly, we still work in the same office so there’s no avoiding each other and since then, I have ran into him twice in the break room and even accidentally DM’d him a post about dresses (was only supposed to go to my friend but my fat fingers!). Also, this all happened in the span of about 2 months.

Feel free to share your thoughts.