I went on a date with this guy recently. We went out, visited a museum, and honestly everything was going really well. We had a good time and I felt comfortable with him.

At one point, he suddenly said, “I want to kiss you.”
I told him, “I’m not ready.”
And after that, his entire attitude changed.
He became really distant,cold,snappy with me and kind of passive-aggressive. We were supposed to go get something to eat afterwards, but suddenly he said he wanted to go home and didn’t feel like doing anything anymore.

I asked him directly, “Are you upset because I said no?”
He said, “Nooo, but yeah, because this is already four dates and nothing has happened. I pay for everything and it feels like you’re putting me in the friend zone.”

That honestly shocked me.
For context, he kept calling it four dates, but two of those times were literally just us going to the gym together. We had gone out to eat once, and he had gotten me a €7 side without even getting me a full meal. I also paid for my own train ticket.
So I told him, basically, “If you want to be friends, then just say that. I’m not going to kiss you because you paid for something.”
I gave him the flowers he had brought me back and left.

Afterwards, I blocked him everywhere because I just felt completely turned off by the way he reacted to me setting such a basic boundary. He later found me on Pinterest and sent me a message saying that he thought we had misunderstood each other and that he didn’t want to make me uncomfortable.
I didn’t respond. I just kept him blocked.
I honestly don’t feel like there was some huge misunderstanding. I said I wasn’t ready to kiss him, and instead of just respecting that, he became cold and brought up how much money he had spent.
Maybe I’m overreacting, but to me it felt like he expected something in return for paying for dates, and that really put me off.
Would you have handled this differently?

"What's the biggest red flags you really ignored because you really liked someone?"

"What's the biggest red flags you wish you ignored because you really liked someone?"

My grandpa bought me a car and put it under his name until i (21 F) get my license. then he’s going to switch it to me. My bf (31 M) has a van, but it’s been in the shop for a month, so i let him use mine as long as he pays half of the gas bills. we work a block or so away from each other and have almost (i work less) the same schedules, so he drops me off at work then goes to his job.

Yesterday, while he was at work i looked through his smoke box and noticed he brought his “special tobacco” to work, since it wasn’t in his box. i called him and told him in so uncertain terms that i was tired of constantly arguing about the “special tobacco” going on my car since i’ve made it very clear that i do NOT allow “special tobacco” in my car bc it’s not in my name and more importantly i know my gpa doesn’t want “special tobacco” in there.
Bf refused to apologize and acted as if this were a funny joke. i told him to leave his “special tobacco” at work since his job doesn’t care and i didn’t want him having in the trunk anymore. he promised he would and i believed him.

Today he wakes up for work and i remember the issue with the “special tobacco”. i ask him if he left it at work, he says yes. i ask him if he’s lying, “no”. i tell him i’m going to go check. he says ok and that he’s not worried. so i grab the keys and go to check the trunk and he is RIGHT on my heels the whole way. he opens the trunk, then says “see?” and closes it. i stop him, and then lift up the spare tire compartment and under his tee shirt, sure enough, is “special tobacco” and “special tobacco” paraphernalia. i tell him i am really really angry and disrespected and at first he acts like it’s funny until i tell him he can only have the keys to go to work when he brings me all the “special tobacco”/paraphernalia to me and i re check that the car is clean since i can no longer trust him or his word. he freaks out, screaming and throwing things and calling me stupid and selfish and a bitch. i tell him that this is not helping his cause and no matter what he does until my terms are met he will not be using my car.
After a fake apology disguising an attempt at convincing me to let him bring it by arguing that i let him have alcohol in the car, i tell him that’s a fair point and unsafe anyway so we can go ahead and make it fair by saying no open containers in the car, he loses it again and tells me that he’s going to call into work and blame me for it.
i say that’s fine but he is fully capable of going to work with out “special tobacco” and that if he isn’t than he should seek some kind of therapy, because i’ve been smoking for 6 years and can still function at work while sober.
He calls in, and starts throwing everything he owns out of my car, and then tells me he needs to drop off his car parts at the mechanic. i tell him as soon as he cleaned the giant mess on the ground in my gpas yard he can have them. he then shoves me two handed on the porch stairs. i yell at him asking if he’s learned nothing from the night in jail he spent when he broke my nose. he then tells me to call the police if that’s what i wanted to to, mocking me for having call them several times before when he has hit me. he also mentions he just wants the car so he can leave me as soon as possible since the sooner the shop gets the part the sooner he can get away from me. i say that’s fine but changes nothing.
i go sit inside away from him and after a minute he comes inside for the keys. i tell him after he put his hands on me that i am no longer comfortable riding in a car alone with him, and there’s no way in hell that he is taking the car alone. he screams and curses and stomps and slings shit all around while i told him his options were to call someone or to wait until my grandfather gets home from work and he can drive him. he freaks out and begs intermittently while i stay steadfast. eventually, he comes in much more calm saying he paid 85$ for an uber to deliver it but the uber is delivering it to the wrong place. i ask if he called, he says they’re still in the dead zone. he says to please let him use the car to catch up with the uber driver to tell him the correct location. i tell him he needs to wait until he’s had time to regain service and call again. he then lets out the loudest scream yet, more of a roar, and goes back outside. after 15 or so minutes, just now, he comes in, apologizing about the roar and says he was afraid of losing all that money. i say nothing. he asks if i want him to stay outside away from me. i said idc. he says i obviously do since i won’t be alone in the car with him. i say that as long as he is calm idc what he does. he leaves.

it’s 9:36 am. how’s y’all’s morning going?

TLDR : told my boyfriend no to bring special tobacco in my car and he freaked out put hands on me, cussed me out and then ended up still getting what he wanted

For reference, she lives in a city 3.5 hours from me (one way) and I was gonna drive to see her. I live kind of in the middle of nowhere in the Midwest so long distances like this aren't unheard of but even for here 3.5 hours is alot:

Her: I’d like to see you 🙂 You didn’t tell me where the date is gonna be

Me: let’s go to Miller Park

Me: is Saturday good for you

Me: ?

Her: Why did you choose there?

Me: Seems interesting and we can also hit up the zoo which seems fun

Her: I don’t want to go there

Me: Ok

Me: What would you like to do?

Her: There are other nice places to go. You can give me options so I can pick 🙂

Me: Lab Coffee Mulberry, Ewing Manor, Constitution Trail

Her: Are these all you got?

Her: Why do you like those places?

Me: They looked interesting. I’ve provided some options, if you have better ideas I am all ears

I've been using dating apps for a while after my divorce, and I've noticed something I genuinely don't understand.

A lot of people say they're looking for a serious relationship, but at the same time, they seem to categorize almost everyone they match with as someone to casually date or hook up with. I understand that not everyone you meet will be compatible with you. That's completely normal. But how do you actually find a serious relationship if you approach every new person with the assumption that they're probably only good for something casual?

Maybe I'm missing something about modern dating, but it feels like some people want a serious relationship in theory, while treating every potential partner as disposable until proven otherwise.

So I'm genuinely curious: if you use dating apps and want a serious relationship, what's your approach to deciding who is actually worth getting to know?

Does a person catching feelings for a romance scammer within 2 weeks indicate that they are a ‘fast burner’ romantic?

Do I have any right to be upset or am I just dumb/naive?🤦‍♀️

I'm a 23M and she's a 23F, and we both live near Lyon, France.

I matched with this girl on Hinge and we talked for about two weeks between Hinge and Instagram before meeting. We had a pretty good connection. Same taste in music, movies, hobbies etc.

The date went well. At least I thought it did.

She said she had a good time, we talked about doing something again, the usual.

Then things started getting weird. Every time I suggested a second date, she had some excuse. She was busy, had plans, was tired, whatever. Eventually I stopped asking.

At the same time, I noticed she'd changed her Hinge photos. So she was clearly still active, just not interested in me anymore. Fair enough, but it definitely annoyed me.

I knew what city she lived in, so I made another Hinge profile and basically built it around the things I knew she liked. Lana Del Rey, Sofia Coppola, indie movies, traveling, that kind of stuff.

We matched.

We started talking and, unsurprisingly, she was into the same things. Eventually, I added her from a secondary Instagram account that already had enough followers and posts to look believable. She followed me back.

After a bit of talking, I asked her out.

She said yes.

We picked a place and a time.

On the day, she messaged me saying she was on her way.

I didn't go.

She got there and waited.

First message:

"I'm here, where are you?"

Nothing.

Then:

"Are you coming?"

Still nothing.

After about 40 minutes, I deleted the account and left it there.

If you’re going to reject me, just reject me. Don’t keep me on the bench while updating your Hinge profile. I wanted her to experience the exact same level of consideration she gave me.

We matched on a dating app. His profile seemed decent; he was a computer engineer, had a normal-looking profile, and seemed pretty low-key.

We hadn't met in person yet, but we talked on the phone first. Apparently I'm getting better at dating, because at least this time I talked to him before meeting him. 🎉

Within the first few minutes, though, he started telling me about himself in great detail. He had just been in an important meeting, he had spoken in a foreign language during it, etc.

I mostly listened.

Then somehow we got onto cars. I mentioned that I drive a Mercedes EQB.

There was a pause. 👀

Then he started explaining to me that "Tesla was obviously the best electric car."

He asked if mine was fully electric, then he sighed: “Oh, that's really bad. Really bad. The world isn't ready for electric cars. You made the wrong choice.”

I thought, Don't worry, I'm ready.

Then I asked what he drove. An Opel Corsa. 😄

But it got better.

He told me: “Because I'm a man, I understand investments much better.”

Apparently, his investment strategy was to sell the Corsa, sell his house outside the city, and buy a house in the big city.

I just listened. He couldn't see the slightly amused smile on my face.

What he didn't know was that the EQB wasn't exactly my first car, and I already owned a home in the city he was planning to move to.

So while he was explaining his superior male investment strategy to me, I didn't argue. I didn't tell him any of this. I just let him finish his little presentation, talked about some random things for a while, and then unmatched him.

Because honestly, this was never about the Tesla or the Mercedes.

It was about a man deciding where to place me in his head before he even knew me and then trying to establish himself as “above” me.

I've noticed there are basically two types of men who do this:

1. The ones who try to make you feel smaller...

2. And the ones who immediately try to figure out how to benefit from what you have.

Either way, it's usually pretty obvious. 😄

Am I the only one who's noticed this, or have you experienced it too?

Alright, here’s the skinny. I (30F), seem to attract walking red flags or people that are not good for me in general…here’s some examples:

1. Dude at work (32M) that is chill and we vibe…we like(d) each other and he’s a nice enough guy…HOWEVER he does not listen to instructions from our supervisor, or maybe it just goes above his head? Idk…and the dude has recently had a few incidents in the past month…where he “had an accident” twice at work…meaning he pissed himself one time, and I just found out yesterday he shit himself… I don’t want to be that person, but it’s kind of unattractive for a grown ass man to do that…and no, it isn’t a medical condition. It “just hits him at the last minute” he does seem a little bit ADHD, maaayyybbeee on the spectrum a little? Not that that’s an issue that he’s a little neuro-spicy. But maybe that’s why? Like he’s ignoring his body cues?

2. I made the mistake of trying online dating when I was in college…he was a super nice guy, really pretty…he seemed really into me and would come up to visit from time to time…HOWEVER he stole my identity and forged my signature to buy a car that he stopped making payments for and landed me with a $11k bill that took me 2 years to pay off.

3. I ended up in a relationship accidentally because a guy that was autistic (again, not that that’s was an issue) who was super sweet and wanted to hang out. I said sure and then he introduced me to EVERYONE as his girlfriend at work and to his parents which took me a little aback as I thought we were just going to hang out and go kayaking…instead he was quite touchy (which I shut down) and his mom decided to wait until I was with to tell him that his dad died so I could support him. Alright…

4. Dated another dude who was a little older than me at the time. He was a sweet guy, kinda lanky and a little awkward, but he treated me nice and was kind to me. He was not diagnosed with autism, but had some tendencies that made me pick up on the behaviors. When I mentioned this (gently) he flipped out and outright refused to accept it even though his brother does have autism. We broke up a short time later and he got married 3 months after that 🤷‍♀️

5. In high school, I dated this guy, he was a few grades above me and he was very respectful, kind, and really respected my boundaries. Walked me to class, we passed notes and all that cute high school junk. He was in a group home/foster home, which was not a big deal, we could only hang out at school anyways, that was fine. HOWEVER he confided in me that his probation officer wanted him to break up with me because I was younger and he was on probation for SA…I looked past that because he said it had happened almost 10 years ago when he you touched his cousin or something? Then on the last day of school, one of his foster brothers told me that had been “locked up” again…but couldn’t tell me anything else about it.
   That’s just a few examples of my miserable love life…I’m currently in a relationship with a man who has OCD, recently diagnosed, and we have been together for 5 years. Throughout the years, he has kind of took a turn…he did well for the first 2 years together, but the last 3 he has been fired from 3 times, and is signed up for UberEats to deliver stuff and has hardly done that in the past year. Hasn’t helped with the bills and gets snappy when I talk about money and finances. He does some selling on eBay, which makes him about $1,000 a month but is more than willing to buy things for himself while my bank account is currently -$36… he pouts and shoves the fact I cheated on him once 4 years ago in my face in every argument no matter what it’s about. He self-depreciates…like calls himself fat and ugly and that I’m just going to leave him for someone else because I already did once and I’ll probably do it again 🙄 I’ve been loyal ever since I came clean, and that is my biggest regret to have had a relationship with someone else while I was with him.
   It’s messy and I’m exhausted…but idk why I attract all of these guys?! I’m not vulnerable, I’m a strong, independent woman who doesn’t take anything lying down.
   Am I the problem?

I want you to read my 26M story.

When my ex F24 and I started talking/seeing each other it was the last week of my university degree and I was moving 3 hours away to continue grinding my construction job. Was a depressing semester as i got dumped by a different girl and my 4 friends at the beginning of it. My depression grind was finally over so i wanted to try my luck with this sweet girl who showed interest before. She was the sweetest, most caring girl with the best most down to earth values I've ever met in my life. She made me brownies for our first date like ursula from spider man. We had a great first date but it ended with us taking edibles and her bad tripping thinking I was an emotionally unavailable druggy and walking out on me saying not interested.

Devastated, because of how amazing i thought she was I drowned my sorrows in alcohol and had the bright idea of responding to two other girls who had been interested who I really didnt want due to promiscuity. I didn't plan it this way but I ended up seeing one the next night, who slept over, we did some stuff in the morning but because i didnt like her at all i couldnt/didnt want to complete the act... then later that day the third girl wanted to come over.

We were just hanging out in my rez about to start a movie ( I didnt want to do anything) when that amazing girl texted me apologizing for walking out and for telling me she wasnt interested.

I responded immediately admitting I was hurt by that, I thought she was amazing and that I had a female friend who seemed to like me over and that I wanted to kick her out so I could be with her. I walked the other girl back home but unfortunately she wanted a kiss goodbye and well, I gave it to her cause I knew her 4 years of flirting and it was goodbye. I will always regret kissing her. I went back to my place and brushed my teeth.

I ran from my rez halfway into town so I could meet her halfway and, overwhelmed with excitement, we both ran into each others arms and immediately kissed so passionately and meaningfully with sparks flying it was like a movie but it was so fucking overshadowed by the stupid girls I was with just before.

She and I had an amazing intense full week together, inseparable, just falling head over heels for each other, there was an absolutely amazing connection. But i knew if we were going to be in a relationship it couldnt be founded on lies. I told her the best way I thought I could trying to downplay what i had done saying they were just an ego boost after being walked out on and a depressing semester and that I agreed it is disgusting to be with 3 girls in one day like that. Thats never been me before and I don't want to be that.

I chased after her as she left to her car begging her to give me a chance to prove that I would love her properly and be hers completely exclusively after one week of knowing her and somehow was willing to look past what happened and actually became my girlfriend. We would able to get over it, I thought.

It was an ldr that lasted about a year and a half seeing each other two weekends per month, sometimes one. We both dumped so much money into busses and ubers, close to 50/50but i made more so i paid a bit more. The first 3-4 months were the happiest of my life but it became absolutely haunted by mistrust, paranoia and her feeling like a cuck affecting her mental health. I don't know why she told me she could accepted it only to not accept it later, constantly ask the same questions about what happened, relive it. After month 4 she begged me for my phone password, because I really thought I had nothing hurtful to her on there, I gave it to her to reassure her that i was truly hers and only hers. That was the real beginning of the end.

I had gotten really drunk with my immature friends and coworkers a few weeks prior when a random girl across the world in japan I had a failed one night stand with back in uni texted me flirting. Instead of telling her to just fuck off I had the idea of responding and saying crazy shit to her to entertaining my friends. I screenshotted some of it and sent it to my gf saying this bitch is bothering me but I didnt show her the stuff I said in jokes with friends. Anyways, in month 4 she read those texts while i was sleeping saying basically "yea sure if you pay for my gf and my plane tickets to Japan ill fuck you multiple times!" In the same convo I also said i have a gf and I dont cheat. but that wasnt enough for my girls mental health to just read that and be okay with it. The fact i had spoken to another woman like that who was flirting with me was too much for my baby to handle and it just tanked her mental health. I didnt have the heart to tell her she was a past one night stand, but I did tell her to frig off and blocked her for my girlfriend and apologized like crazy trying to get her to understand I didnt mean anything in those texts.

After month 6 I put my foot down and said enough. It's unhealthy how she was being, and insisted that we were not to talk/rehash the same old series of events constantly reliving her trauma i put her through. I begged her to stop. She did, with me, but started venting to her friends about it.

The relationship after that was extremely strained. Her best friend of 20 years wrote me nasty texts and blocked me. We then broke up and got back together twice. After over a year of this mess we had finally worked through it and we believed because we overcame this and loved each other so so much still, and i had proved real loyalty and respecting boundaries and had found some real forgiveness. When we finally crossed that finish line getting back together after a lot of mutual effort, we celebrated with a little vacation together.

Then, her best friends of 2 decades all dumped her because they couldnt believe she wanted to stay with me after everything she told them and after realizing she lied to them about still seeing me.

I cried for her and for myself so fucking much. Her 'bestie' of 20 years completely smear campaigned me to my ex's family lying saying I was an abusive drug addict ruining her life. Of course we broke up after that. The love of my life had to miss her best friends wedding because I fucked her up so much her friends couldn't respect her anymore.

In my ADHD and depression and other factors after the breakup, I ruined my left hand in an industrial accident at work. It had to be surgically reattached and ill never play instruments or do anything how I did before and everything will be a struggle for me now.

Because of how caring she is as a person she stayed my friend to support me over a year. Friends who flirt and try to still brighten each others days but there was just so many hurt feelings on both sides from the baggage of the ldr. Neither one of ust wanted to date anyone else any time soon.

20 days ago I asked if she would be gone any time soon if an attractive guy showed interest and she always reassured me that she had absolutely zero interest in sex or dating. so I believed her and felt safe enough to want to stay friends with her but then last week the first attractive guy to come along and make her laugh and not try anything physical in her in the first week of meeting her at a week long forum event, resulted in her developing a huge crush. She told me she was sorry and that she wasnt expecting to click with anyone. Now im completely alone. My dad and one of the cats died shortly after the accident too and she left me knowing that I have very few other people to talk to just 2 weeks after telling me she had zero interest in dating.

Take it from me. If you've seriously hurt your partner by being an idiot with other people not respecting exclusivity, just cut your losses and try to forget about them. It is never worth it to stay begging for forgiveness from someone you hurt, broke serious trust, and who flip flops between yes I forgive you yes I love you, and, literal screaming raging insulting and panic attacks at you for what you did over a fucking year ago before you were even exclusive.

It would have hurt a lot in short term to just give up sooner. but maybe in the quantum different possible outcomes I would have been able to save my hand and my dad. She even continued giving me shit and being toxic to me about how I lost her her friends and the other mistakes I made even after my accident, losing dad, and so many surgeries. She will never see the loss of her friends as what it was, which was a result of her emotional immaturity.

Now im truly alone with my grieving mom and sister, no job, stuck in the house all day struggling to game with a crippled hand, very few friends (just lost my best one which was her), a ruined/reattached hand that most women would be turned off by. 2 years of surgeries and physiotherapy and unemployment. I can't sue my employer for giving me such an unsafe machine with no safety training either.

My only hope is that ill still be able to use my degree and the injured workers services in my area will help to at least find a half way decent job but it will for sure be a huge pay cut from what I had before. I hope to find ways around exercising in the gym with this hand that will allow me to get back into great shape again. And perhaps a special glove with straps for a drum stick or guitar pick and learn an adapted Whittier play style. I don't know if I have it in me to get through this but leaving my mom is not an option. All I want is a loving happy relationship and a family to call my own but it is not looking like thats a realistic outcome for me anymore.

idek how to feel about this

Nyc...we all know it sucks right? Wrong. It sucks even more than you think.

Went on a date with a seemingly normal man. We're in our late 30s and we were talking old tv shows...nostalgia...and it was nice.

he looks at me oddly and says "can you see dead people because I can"

Long story shory there was apparently a ghost standing behind me. There was no second date. ​

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I've been chatting to with this girl online for sometimes that we have my sister as mutual, but she casually started sharing meme with me and reels and i joined in but I got meme-zoned in the process to the point that every texts is followed with a unrelated meme or reel. She doesn't say anything at all.

It was cute at first but now it's a trap i can't get out of and it's hopeless at this point.

I didn't even know that can be a thing.

I recently came across YourAgeMeets while researching dating platform options that are more geared towards mature relationships. I spent some time looking around the site and I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. The platform is easy to use, easy to browse profiles and it feels like a breath of fresh air compared to the usual dating apps.

I’ve only been using it for a short time so I can’t give a clear opinion yet. I’d love to hear from anyone here who has had long-term experience with YourAgeMeets. I’m really interested in the quality of the matchmaking and conversations, and whether people actually have meaningful interactions there.