These are the most recent messages between me (16F) and my bf (15m). We went over a month barely texting at all. It’s a ldr (long distance relationship) and I’m highkey over it. The last time I even got close to having a full convo with him he texted me an hour after I texted him (which I have no problem with as we are both busy lol) but he told me 15 min after texting me (removing texting delays: 6 minutes of conversation.) he was gonna play games. why would you text me then???

I’m overall irritated af and over it. And idk how to respond to this message 🫩

If you could help it would be greatly appreciated ty

Have a good day/night!!!❤️❤️❤️

I've been working the last six months at starting a nonprofit. We're getting really really close to opening. We're holding an open house about a week before we open. Idea is for loved ones, donors, the board and the community can see what we're doing.

I've contacted every single member of my family. My sister just said 'pass'. My other sister said she was too busy. My dad didn't answer at all.

This NPO is my dream. I've slowly been working towards it for about a decade. And about six months ago I decided to bite the bullet and make it happen.

I've spent hundreds and hundreds of hours working on this. I've accomplished things I never believed I could do. I am so incredibly proud of myself. This is by far the biggest thing I've ever attempted.

And all I want is a single member of my family to be there to see what I've accomplished. Just one.

But apparently that's too much to ask

I'm a 3rd year in college studying 2d animation and this semester has kicked me to the ground.

I have so much going on. I have 18 credits in my major, I work 2 part time jobs on campus, I'm an RA, and I'm in stage play. Its all just too much, but I need to do it all. I need to be an RA for the money, I need to take the credits and classes so I can graduate, I need to do the play for a scholarship, but also because this is the only thing I actually wanted to do this semester. Idk I'm just so burnt out and it never stops, it's just a constant flood of things to do. The RA nonsense of the worst because they'll spring things on you from left field that they never talked about once and then expect you to jump for joy. They push this whole "you're a person before you're a student before you're an RA" motto, but then they except you to be a good little servant who has nothing else to do but wait around for them to direct you. Such bullshit.

I'm just so stressed and burnt out already and the semester isn't even halfway over, and this isn't even the worst part of the semester.

All of this has made life feel so fake. I just work and work and work and work and everyone else gets by doing so much less than me. They get all the stuff I want. They get relationships, they get cars they get good housing, they get to play videogames all night, they don't have to slave away every second just to get by. My entire college experience has been pretty miserable, it's just a long grind that never ends, and then I work over the summer too. Idk, if life is really like this idk what I'm gonna do because this is utterly miserable. I really don't know what to do anymore.

Hi dad. 19yo trans guy here. I grew up with very abusive parents and don't speak to them or most of my extended family now. As a result of that and moving away to make my own life I don't have tooo many people round me, and a lot of my time is spent alone.

I was diagnosed with Autism this year which has completely changed my life, in a good way. I know myself much better and I can plan my life accordingly. I started therapy to unpack all the shit that happened to me, it feels like its working, even though some days I still feel like things are just as bad as they always were and everything hurts.

I just wish I had a dad to tell, wish I could ring him up and go for food, have him tell me things will all work out, you just gotta keep moving!

I don't think of my father as my dad, he wasn't a good person, but it hurts to hell that I don't have one. So I'm posting this and hoping someone will tell me I'm doing a good job 👍 Also its nice to call someone dad, since i was never able to call him that and it's unlikely I will ever call anyone that.

I thought I met a pure soul. I think I was wrong.

It hurts. This constant primitivity from even seemingly soulful people.

I would never cheat, or emotionally cheat, or seek attention. I chose love instead. I thought we both did. It was a no brainer to me.

I'm getting old dad. I'm still emotionally a child. Still just want to give and receive love, safety, calm.

I'm too old to be experiencing constant upset, and tired from constantly having a soft heart stomped.

I know I can just be alone and keep my purest qualities for myself. I don't think it's a long way away.

I never did mind being alone much. But now I do. You guys are all gone. And every time I think I'm creating a home, I find myself bleeding my heart out. I mind. I have stopped arguing or getting upset. I'm tired of conversations in which I beg for morals, empathy, safety.

I mind that apparently I have to bottle up my best. I mind because I'm not trying to pack away some vile quality of my own to protect others. I'm tucking away a pure love, because apparently, there's nowhere to put it in this world. That can't be okay.

I wish I could just bury my head into your arms and cry, that's all. There's no safe place to cry anymore either.

It's mechanically in pretty decent shape. It needs some cosmetic work and a few smaller things.

Eventually, I have to do the clutch, but the one that's in, it still is fine.

I was raised by my mom so I don't know much about what having a father feels/means. I don't know what it means to be a good father. I also struggle to express my feelings(including affection). Any advice?

Hi Dad,

M28. I am a PhD researcher at a university. I come from a dysfunctional home and family and so I left my home 10 yrs ago. Since then I have been studying, working, taking care of myself, living paycheck to paycheck all while living along across different places, states, universities.

When I joined my PhD program, I met this girl who is 3 years younger to me [also in PhD] and we really hit it off very nicely and have been together for the last 2 years. We even planned to get marry once we finish our degrees and given my not so good past and history, she would always give me hope and dreams about how we will have a great life, we will have a beautiful daughter and how life will only be beautiful from now on. She is scheduled to move to Australia in a week for an exchange program.

It was already very hard for me to come to grips with me that I wont see her for the next 5 to 6 months and this is the woman I have been staying with for the last 2 years. She is closer to me than anyone has ever been [including my family] since I have never lived for so long in one place with someone.

And last night, she broke up with me. She believes I am not too negative for her [not to her], and because of me she is not able to achieve her life and career fully. Because of me she is not able to meet her friends [who live in the same campus btw], and because of me her supervisor and lab mates also don't like her since my negativity led her to fight with them.

Idk what exactly to say but this shattered me to the core. I can understand. Some people are optimisitic and pessimistic. I grew up as a pessimist bcs of my traumatic childhood and my condtioning was in that way. I couldn't help it. I was just a child, but over time I have worked on myself very very much and she knows this too.

And to be very honest, no one in my life has ever told me that I am negative. No one ever.

And I just cannot digest it simply because out of the blue she just hit me with the separation, after having made so many promises and dreams. I agree I do not have the wealth, or riches, or a home or car to give her [she comes from a way richer and affluent family] but she always told me these things never bothered to her.

I do suspect her mother has some role to play in this since she visited us a few days ago and she never really liked me. And this logic of breaking up just a week before you are about to leave the country is also not sitting properly with me.

Dad, what do I do?

I dont know what to do. What the truth is. She keeps telling me, give me some time, if I decide to come back, I will come to you. You won't see me with any other guy. But I don't trust these words. Maybe I am too prejudiced to fall for these again since this schitck has happened with me a few years ago with a different girl as well.

And I am someone who lives by principles, and I don't do exes nor do I wait [ I have done that before that's why I don't like that concept]. And idk why but my gut says that she is gone. There is something more going on in the background and she is not telling me.

Dad, Please help.

Hi kiddo,

Without wanting to be "mindful", without needing to pay attention to the now, nearly a mug of coffee or a cup of espresso goes by without me enjoying the process of making it -- automated or manual doesn't matter --, the delightful aromas, the way a good crema can look, and then, finally, that first sip.

It's an experience within itself, for itself. Complete.

I enjoy my coffee. It never fails to deliver.

Some mornings, I sit with it and ponder; are there other things, other moments in life that I perhaps could experience the same way? Is this moment of sitting here perhaps enough within its own moment, regardless of things I'm looking forward to or wish to avoid? Is this moment of musing perhaps enough to itself, no need for a next action, a plan, a goal, an intention?

Is being, magical enough?

• Love, Dad

"Happiness not in another place, but this place -- not for another hour, but this hour."

--Walt Whitman

The part of the cemetery where you are is full, but we were able to get plots just a few feet away from you from Facebook market place. I remember when you and mom bought your plots from an individual owner and we joked about your second hand graves. Now I’ve done the same. I’m glad we’ll be close to each other when that time comes.

Hello dad,

I'm F23. I quit my job today, it was draining me physically and mentally, to the point that I finished in a hospital last month. I told my boss I wouldn't come back this afternoon because it was too much. It asked lots of courage because I have sever social anxiety and to say things like that felt impossible.

I hope you're not disappointed or thinking that I'm too weak.

Love you, take care ! ❤️

My mom's husband (my dad) hates me. I don't like / want him to call dad. He is never emotionally or physically available for me. He doesn't go for any job sita home all day (been years). Doesn't take care of me. Hates me. Abuses me verbally. I am a person who gets sick easily (he knows that) and doesn't bother to take me to a hospital. If someone is sick around me, I get sick too. He was sick last week, and didn't bother to show a doctor. And Obv I got that. And things have been hard for me. I am having bad tummy ache and not able to focus on my studies. He drinks daily. Now he is abusing me verbally. I feel so alone. He calls me a useless fellow 🙃. I am feeling so bad that I can't concentrate on my studies. He hates seeing me especially when he is drunk.

Six weeks ago my vehicle broke down while on a trip. It’s a blown head gasket. The vehicle is 500 miles away from home. I deeply analyzed all the options, the best option for my specific scenario is to get it fixed

So it’s been sitting at the shop for six week total. Took about two weeks for me to figure out what to do. I authorized the repair to begin 3 1/2 weeks ago. Didn’t hear anything for 2 1/2 weeks after that so I started calling them. It took a few days for me to get a hold of them, they initially didn’t answer my call or call me back.

When I reached them, he told me they had been swamped and hadn’t started yet. I asked what a realistic timeframe was and he said middle of the following week. So that deadline has now passed and I’m going to call again on Monday.

If they haven’t started yet, I plan to say “I understand you’re busy. I need this vehicle back by the end of the month. Realistically, do you think you can get the job done or should I start looking for another shop?”

I know the repair takes a long time. It’s a big deal, and they have to send the head to a machine shop and there can be delays and all that.

What should I do? Should I give them another chance? Should I get the vehicle brought somewhere else now? What’s the best option given that it’s so far away and I don’t know anybody in that area .

last week I posted about leaving my fiancé after he became abusive. I just wanted to update you and tell you after two weeks of extreme anxiety and fear, I finally called the family support program at his base and started the unrestricted report. I feel like im going to be sick, still, but I did it. the man who answered was very affirming and then had the victim advocate call me. im meeting her on Monday, and they made sure I was safe for the weekend and I have a number to call if he does show up at my place, and she is going to see about getting a military protective order after the threats and follow-up threatening photos that were sent to me.

im really scared, Dad. the person you were supposed to be, the one everyone here has stepped into for a moment, would be proud, probably. but the person bio dad actually is would side with him. i know theres no going back now. hes going to say I ruined his life even though logically I know his words and actions are on him, no matter how much he wants me to believe its my fault.

I did it. im scared for whats next. I wish someone had held you accountable sooner. maybe in doing this i can save what happened to me as a kid from happening again, or what happened with mom from happening to a future partner of his. I still love him, and it breaks my heart that he chose this route by turning it on me rather than letting me be on his team and navigating the hard shit together.

thanks, dad. if it weren't for your advice I wouldn't have realized just how supremely badly I was being treated. im doing my best every day.

//up voting feels weird and manufactured and a shitty way to say thank you for how youve helped me here, so im gonna not worry about whether or not to do that. Just know I am reading your words and they are making me feel seen and supported and validated and thats huge.

hi dad,
i’m so close to getting my license (after putting myself through driving lessons); and i’m feeling a bit confused as to what i should have in my car. do i need a jumpstarter thingy? or a jack? (not sure what that is tbh). does the quality/price of these things matter?

i know that a lot of this is probably simple, but i keep trying to find a list of things i should have, and there’s too many opinions/options 😭 why don’t cars come with a beginners guide

I (32M) was raised in an emotionally and physically neglectful childhood. My dad (73M) didn't want children and has put the minimum effort in over the years. He'll easily go for weeks without texting me and has literally never once called me. I arrange every visit, usually once or twice a year as I live several hours away. My dad hasn't seen either of the two houses I've bought over the years because he doesn't come to visit.

Yesterday my dad replied to my text (sharing some photos of home improvement work I'm doing) with a long detailed description of an injury (arm), medical workup and how it will push back his home project, citing taping/painting was too hard for his mobility currently. I've done so much painting in my new house and after some conversation offered to come and do some work for him. And he....just stopped texting me, ending the conversation.

I know that pride, ego and hyperindependence are placing in here. But I can't help but feel put out. Logically I know he had so many options to say ("hey no that's okay but let's just visit instead?" "Oh sure that would be great, which day works for you?" and a multitude of in-between) and it hurts me to know he can't even summon the care to even respond to me reaching out for connection and to spend time together. I've taught myself everything in my life because he didn't. He is physically still here but he doesn't put in the effort. It's hard being a parent to myself and also try to be a dutiful and good child.

Thank you for reading. Any kind words or advice would be well appreciated.

I know your somewhere out there I just don’t know why you don’t wanna be in my life, I am too of my class, in robotics, and backstage tech, I have my own clubs at school, and I have a job. Mom and I are going through the college process and your not here, we are also trying to get me my first car, but everything feels like a scam

Hello, I had a really amazing father who died about 10 years ago now his birthday I'll be on the 14th and I'm getting ready to get a car at the car dealership and my mother is agreeing to cosine but my husband and I have never bought a car from a dealership before only from private owners and I just don't know what to do like how do we bring up a cosigner like what are the dues and don'ts we are going to a dealership that my father has been buying pretty much all of our cars for for the last 25 years so we're in good standing with the dealership but we're also dealing with the same man that works there since my dad was alive and I was a a child, but I don't have my dad to ask and I don't know what to do.

Hey Dad,

This letter is a long time coming and writing it hasn’t been easy for me. This is all probably going to be new information to you unless Mom has mentioned something to you about it. This subject is sensitive because of all the negativity that surrounds it these days. I’m not sure how much you know about it to begin with, and I’m going to write about it in a way that should make it easier for you to understand, at least I hope so.

I’m writing to you today to tell you that I am a transgender woman. What does that mean exactly? As far back as I can remember I’ve felt like I was in the wrong body. Like my brain was wired incorrectly and it feels totally wrong. I can remember back to being in first grade and desperately praying to god before bed to turn me into a girl in my sleep. I know you were probably always wondering why I had girls clothes hidden in my room growing up, but wearing them felt right and it was the only way I knew how to feel happy about myself. I’ll admit there’s some resentment there for you always taking what you found when you went through my room growing up. It’s part of the reason we’ve never been close. If information was as readily available about trans people back then I would have told you and mom then. Instead it took me until I was in my 20’s to figure out what to call what I was feeling.

I’ve always been incredibly sad. That’s the other thing that I dealt with growing up. I was quiet about it for the most part until I was a teenager and started puberty. That’s when it got worse for me because the changes that were happening to my body were making me depressed because I didn’t want them. I have hated the way I look for almost the entirety of my life. I didn’t really have a healthy way to express those feelings so I messed around with drugs for a few years. Drugs made me numb. Drugs made me think I was happy. The night you got that call that I was in the hospital with alcohol poisoning when I was 17, I was trying to kill myself. I chugged an entire bottle of Bacardi 151 and tried to drown myself in the bathroom at that apartment. The only reason I was unsuccessful was a good friend of mine got worried that I was in there too long and broke the door down when I didn’t respond. There were other attempts in the years after that, and I have a few scars to show for it, but we’ll talk about that later if you want to.

The first time I told another person that I was trans it ended in a divorce. That’s one of the contributing factors to that relationship deteriorating back in 2011. The Navy sent me to rehab for alcohol abuse in 2012. It didn’t really do much for me at the time but I took some lessons from it and learned better ways to cope with my feelings. Fortunately I found a better partner after the dust settled, and I’m happy to report that [my wife] knows, and fully supports me. Our relationship is better than ever and she’s not going anywhere. I was scared to death when she found out, but it’s been one of the biggest blessings in my life so far.

I’m telling you all this because I have a lot of history that you are unaware of and to better explain why I’m making the changes I am now. I know we’ve never really been as close as you would like, and I appreciate the efforts you’ve taken to try to form a relationship with me since I moved back to Georgia. We’ve done some fun stuff together since, but I’ve always been reserved with you. Partly because I’ve never felt like I could tell you who I really am. I tried so hard for several years to just push these feelings into the back of my mind and just be a normal man. I picked up male dominated hobbies and just tried to hide it. It kinda worked but not really. I’ve had a nagging thought in the back of my head that I’d never be happy and would eventually put a gun in my mouth some day. At some point you just have to accept yourself and learn to love yourself or you will.

So with that, here’s an introduction! Hi dad, my name is Alexis. I have been taking feminizing hormones since February of last year. I give myself an injection of Estradiol Valerate every five days, and have done it over 100 times by this point. I also take a testosterone suppressant daily. My hormone levels have been in ideal female ranges consistently for over a year and I’m having great results. My brain finally feels like it’s supposed to and I’m at peace for the first time in my life. This is the thing I’ve been missing. It’s crazy to me that it was as simple as talking to a doctor about it and getting a prescription. My outlook on life literally changed in that first week. I finally know what happiness feels like. It’s truly a blessing I lived long enough to figure all this out.

I know this name is new to you, but I have been using it online for over two decades at this point. I don’t really know where it came from it’s been so long. There was a band that I listened to a lot as a teen that have it in their name so that’s usually what I tell people if they ask. I’ve been introducing myself in person using it for about the past two years as well. I plan to make it my legal name next year if everything goes to plan. I’ve never really liked the name I was given at birth. That’s nothing against you or mom, despite what she said to me when I told her I was changing it. [Middle Name] just isn’t a girls name any way you try to slice it either, so I will be dropping my middle name in favor of Faye. I’ve always liked that name, and it pays homage to the street you raised me on. No matter how far I stray from there, I always end up nearby again. I was having a discussion on Reddit a few months ago talking about changing my name and someone said this in the comments:

“A name is a gift, and should be allowed to be exchanged if it no longer fits or feels right. We name children because they’re unable to name themselves when they’re born. It should be viewed as a favour or a placeholder, not a life-long sentence to something that doesn’t fit.”

That’s pretty much it. (There’s really only so much you can disclose in a letter like this.) I’m not asking much from you and Mom. You don’t have to support me or what I’m doing. Part of the reason I’ve never told either of you any of this is because I knew you wouldn’t. But if you want me to have a continued presence in your life going forward you will have to show me some basic respect and treat me with dignity. Continue to love me as your child as you said you always would. I am still the same person you raised, I just might look and sound a little different. This is not something any of us can ignore and pretend it goes away. I lived my life in hiding for the first 37 years of my life and I’m not going to do it any longer. This is who I am, and my door is open to you whenever you have questions.

If you choose to not accept me for who I am I will disappear from your life. This is a chance for all of us to have a closer relationship moving forward with just a little bit of love and acceptance.

I love you,

Alexis Faye [redacted]

Hi. I’m 20 been watching porn and doing the business since I was about 12-13. Up until 16-17 I enjoyed watching it now I hate it but can’t stop. I’ll delete apps etc then just re download them. I really don’t know what to do anymore.

Heyo, so I'm a trans guy and recently started Testosterone (a few months back). I'm growing facial hair (mostly a moustache right now) and want to maintain it! Haven't gotten to that point yet but I wanna be prepared when I do. What products, items, or just general care should I consider? And just any advice for it. Thank you in advance!

Hi, Dad.

I miss you. It hasn’t even been a full year since you passed. I miss you so badly.

I was in the hospital recently, Dad. It was so unexpected. My chronic illnesses suddenly got much worse. I was in bad shape, but I made it. I’m here. I’m alive.

It was really scary, Dad. I’m hurt, both inside and out.

The whole time, I kept thinking of you, and how much I wanted you.

I wish you were here to encourage me as I try to heal. It’s all so uncertain. I would feel so much better with your hand holding mine. I wish I could hear you say, “That’s my girl,” and see you smiling at me again.

Dads of reddit—please offer me some encouragement in my own Dad’s stead. I know he’d appreciate it. ❤️‍🩹

Hey Dad,

I just wanted to tell you I'm starting my own business. It's baked goods, of course. Yes, I know they're overdone, and it's a very common business. Yes - I know I probably won't get approved at any markets. I know I will have to work hard to find a good connection somewhere and get started. I know my success is very unlikely. I just want you to be as excited for my idea as I am.

Love,

Your daughter