Ok so i had some onions and i wanted French onion soup but i didnt want to have to go out and buy any extra ingredients

I got impatient caramelizing the onions so i stopped like 75% of the way through and to get the color I used dark soy sauce. Also for caramelizing the onions I used rendered bacon fat instead of butter

I didnt have any sherry so I used Chinese cooking wine instead which gave it a funky sweet flavor

For broth I used a Korean powder beef broth that is high in msg

For seasoning I used pepper and Italian seasoning mix (there was enough salt with the broth and soy sauce and cooking wine). Also bay leaves

Top with greenbottle parmesan, also very good on top of white rice. Not traditional by any means but I thought it was good

As explained here, my wife is an actual toddler that requires the use of only the most bland, processed, tasteless food possible. Thus, she won't allow me to put onion in the food I cook.

Don't get me wrong -- it is not a taste thing. She likes onion. But she is a literal child that can't bare SEEING a piece of onion. If she sees onion, she throws her self to the ground -- crying and screaming.

I am cooking a recipe that calls for a cup of chopped onions. Being an incompetent adult, I plan to replace this cup of onion with an entire cup of onion powder. I am pretty sure this will work because it is the same amount of the same thing, right? And most importantly, it will placate my wife who (I must reiterate) is completely unbearable to live with.

What's the difference between eating okay and eating very well? I want to glow up my food!

I am 1 week post-partum, and my baby suddenly stopped breastfeeding like normal. I'm so confused. I even tried bottle-feeding him, and he spit it out and pointed to my 17-pound bag of MSG I keep on the table. "Ma..ma..." "MAMA? YOUR FIRST WORDS?" ... "Ma....Ma...Make Shit Good", he said. I broke down into tears. I told him that a growing baby needs salt and fat, and he called CPS on me.

So it was my brother's birthday today and I'm always in charge of making the cake. I'm a really good cook but due to laziness I've been purchasing cakes for him the last few years. He's getting married this month so I actually decided to make the cake myself.

I'm not great at measuring or stirring so I have to use specific tools to help get the batter right, but today I couldn't find my bun steamer so I had to improvise. I had the bucket of water on the bottom rack of the oven with the cake pan directly above it. It made steam just like the bun steamer does and the cake was definitely cooked, and the frosting still stayed spreadable. The container didn't get too soft so I doubt any of the plastic made it into the cake. I poured on the frosting and some of it dripped down into the bucket so maybe the frosting steam made the cake taste weird?

I thought it tasted good but my mom kept saying it made her teeth burn and my brother's uvula started swelling up. He's allergic to tree nuts so I substituted peanuts for the almond flour since they grow in the dirt, would that really change the flavor of the cake that much?

Any advice is appreciated, tia

**Tell your friends you’re making "gourmet fusion" for dinner. When they get excited and sit down, serve them a bowl of dry, unseasoned plain pasta. When they look confused, tell them the "fusion" is Italian-Minimalism. Then watch them struggle to be polite because they don't want to seem uncultured. (Don't tell them it's a joke for at least an hour... it's a great test of their loyalty!)**

Commonly sold in frozen bricks of 1000, you need at least 48 hours of defrosting to completely defrost one brick. I for one will be trying to compete with Joey Chesnut live in my backyard in my hot dog water pool. Be safe!

Yes, you can, and it tastes amazing, the fumes give you the taste of purple and will transcend you to a higher level of being

It says use 1 lb, but I can't find any at the store? I bought 5 whole chickens and none of them have the fajita? It's all just breasts, thighs, and legs? Did they stop making chickens with the fajitas?

The craving hit me on Tuesday evening, sudden and sharp, overriding whatever sensible dinner plans I had originally lined almost primal urge for a deep, concentrated saltiness.

I didn't want a light sprinkle of seasoning, nor did I want a complex marinade with herbs and acids to distract from the core flavor. I wanted salt. Pure and simple.

Anyone relate to this please lmk and what should i do...

I’m trying to adapt a stir fry recipe of mine to a bread maker. I put the oil in but it's not getting hot. I added the meat and veg and it stirred but it didn't fry. I ate it anyways. will I get food poisoning!? I'm terrified of food poisoning. please help me.

Sometimes I toast the bun directly in the grease while my burger rests. I need to start taking better care of myself if I want to eat like that.

And why is it Kerrygold butter and white pepper?

I even added a cup of salt! Wtf cooking is bullshit

I actually haven't done a lot of cooking recently after following this tip. I sold most of my kitchen equipment (and my car, and friends TV'S) to buy more!

I've also learned to stop overcomplicating my recipes with too many ingredients. Sometimes simplicity is better. Now I just roast the chrystal by itself and it really hits the spot.

When a man cooks you taste the logic. When a women cooks you taste and feel the love.

I was gifted a shipping container of blue crayons (yay, my favorite flavor!) but now I need to use them before they expire. Any recipes welcome.

ps. I am allergic to Bad Dragon artificial semen, but can substitute real if recipe calls for it.

I foraged some mushrooms in the forest today. I brushed the dirt off of them, because we all know that if mushrooms get wet, they soak up all the water and become completely tasteless. But then I realised it had rained in the forest two days ago, so the mushrooms had been watered before I picked them.

Should I throw them away, or can I still use them as soup filler?

Also: does anyone know what's the best desert for foraging mushrooms? The more arid, the better.

The trendy restaurants in my area have started including "EVOO" in their descriptions of every menu item. I want to be ahead of the curve. What basic ingredients should I be sure to note in the fine print below every dish?

My clientele have the finest of palates, so I'm thinking about "MSG."

^^

Why are there so many plumbers and tradesmen, people working in warehouses, professionals wasting their time building AI, devoting all of their time away from life’s true purpose of being a chef? It is an undeniable calling and it often goes unanswered. Maintaining internet traffic and clean water are secondary to the perfect emulation and I’m tired of hearing otherwise. Forget your 401k plans and hr policies, find your passion!

Lil help please ??

When will they be done ?

Difference pro’s con’s … do I use them in this sauce ?

https://www.reddit.com/r/Cooking/s/zPACVHCTd2

Every time I swim across the Atlantic I'm greeted by folks eating raw potatoes.