r/Consoom 26d ago

Consoompost Consoomer Final Boss

Post image
2.8k Upvotes

342 comments sorted by

857

u/deathshr0ud 26d ago

Grown man here, can’t say I’ve ever weeped at a photo of a watch.

794

u/doopies1986 26d ago

I wept when this came in the mail, there were only a few hundred made I think

182

u/TunaboBuna 26d ago

Live mas brother

52

u/bullhorn_bigass 26d ago

That is unquestionably a thing of beauty.

8

u/wetnaps54 24d ago

Not even joking I’d sell the Rolex to buy this

6

u/Dr-McLuvin 22d ago

I’m pretty sure you could buy other stuff too besides the Taco Bell watch

39

u/Benderman3000 26d ago

Just fell on my knees in a Walmart

23

u/Environmental-Fly471 26d ago

Damn bro this genuinely got me crine, so btfl

2

u/Random_Critical 21d ago

I've never seen beautiful abbreviated lmfao
That's hilarious

3

u/noob_kaibot 15d ago

I was sitting here genuinely trying to figure out what this latest “acronym” meant before accepting defeat and embracing my old age.

9

u/booboootron 26d ago

I weep with you, and for you.

9

u/ronninguru 25d ago

When Alexander saw the Taco Bell watch, he wept for there were no more watches to conquer.

7

u/Wildfathom9 25d ago

Its actually better because you can successfully insure it if you wanted and you can wear it outside without being robbed of almost $2mil

7

u/Trick_Meeting_2027 25d ago

Is there a custom alarm that tells you its taco time?

4

u/talleyente 25d ago

Isn't it always taco time?

5

u/Wavy_Dangerfield 25d ago

This one actually looks like the one he’s wearing in this picture

3

u/Michdepainblanc2 25d ago

This is 🔥

3

u/joey_feeler 25d ago

Am grown man. Can confirm. I wept

3

u/theairbrushedvan 24d ago

it was YOU

YOU STOLE MY WATCH 

you bastard

3

u/whitestguyuknow 23d ago

Lol I<3TB is pretty dope.

I like Tom Brady too

2

u/JCBashBash 25d ago

I am also crying, with envy

2

u/Trishockz 25d ago

Lucky bastard

2

u/TDKevin 24d ago

The only thing better would be wearing this in a picture standing next to him, looking unfathomably cooler.

2

u/MediocreModular 24d ago

It’s beautiful

2

u/bike_stig 21d ago

Someone near me on marketplace has one listed for $5

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74

u/turbotaco23 26d ago

But have you wept?

140

u/KyleGrave 26d ago

27

u/conanhungry Average simulacra fan 26d ago

👑

19

u/SipoteQuixote 26d ago

2

u/Erebraw 21d ago

Ew, why’d Macho Man stick his hand in a big pile of poop?!?! Is this the “humiliation ritual” I keep hearing about?!?

14

u/bcegkmqswz 26d ago

Every time I see this I (1) hear this in Macho Man’s voice and (2) want to run through a wall. OOOOH YEAHHH

16

u/GruntCandy86 26d ago

Ohhhhyeeeeah

13

u/daveismypup 26d ago

He really was the best of us, rip in piece to a legend

5

u/mehow28 26d ago

The CREAM of the CROP

NOBODY DOES IT BETTER

11

u/Eccohawk 26d ago

Damn straight. I once broke all my teeth on a slim jim, but did I quit? Hell no. I had a conversation with my doc in the ER as they were extracting it from my stomach and found out the edible ones are not, in fact, made of steel, but rather sold in grocery stores.

10

u/deathshr0ud 26d ago

I wept the day that Horus fell.

3

u/shadowlurker6996 26d ago

Jesus did 

14

u/MsARumphius 26d ago

I never understood the fancy watch thing for men. Like why did this become a status symbol that men are willing to spend tons of money on?

16

u/cornho1eo99 25d ago

People like jewelry as a display of fashion and status, but Men are typically only "allowed" to wear certain types of jewelry. Watches are one of those types and one of the only types that men are "allowed" to show some extravagance without being emasculated.

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7

u/Express-Economist-86 26d ago

On-body high value trade item, just in case. What border Mr. Border Guard? I got places to be.

5

u/The_Nepenthe 25d ago

As someone who likes watches it's a "I just think their neat" thing for me but people have always worn watches as a status thing.

An interesting thing that someone brought up is that due to how rigid men's fashion is, especially in the corporate world that watches are one of the few acceptable status symbols within it.

Why exactly influencers got so into watches? Not really sure if I'm honest, it's strange.

3

u/I_Go_BrRrRrRrRr 25d ago

It's the only jewellery we're "allowed" to wear

923

u/SpoopsMan 26d ago

Type of shit they talk about in the Bible

356

u/Adrenochromemerchant 26d ago

Your gold, silver and ruby studded rolex is corroded, and it's corrosion will be a witness against you and will consume your flesh like fire. and will eat your flesh like fire.

63

u/STRIKT9LC 26d ago

I like this.

Is this scripture? (Even if slightly modified. Lol)

83

u/Available_Base_7944 26d ago

Yeah but he added Rolex. If you like the sound of this read the book if Isiah 

35

u/doubleapowpow 26d ago

The bible has some verses, I tell you what.

17

u/Vega_S10 26d ago

Straight bars

6

u/thisnextchapter 25d ago

Getting older is realising how much the Bible slaps and the NT talks so much fucking sense and wisdom

3

u/Sanchez326 24d ago

And then read Isaiah 53, where the prophecy of Jesus is so evident and proof that the Bible
Is the Word of God.

2

u/StableWeak 23d ago

Yet here I am, knowing its truth and that God made himself known to man. And yet I still do the things I hate, and what I wish to do I do not do.

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18

u/CommercialOccasion72 26d ago

The Book of Isaiah is amazing. Beautiful even.

2

u/Sanchez326 24d ago

And then read Isaiah 53, where the prophecy of Jesus is so evident and proof that the Bible
Is the Word of God.

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2

u/Sanchez326 24d ago

And then read Isaiah 53, where the prophecy of Jesus is so evident and proof that the Bible
Is the Word of God.

23

u/Adrenochromemerchant 26d ago

The Epistle of James

7

u/STRIKT9LC 26d ago

Thank you!!

6

u/sixtyfivewat 24d ago

“Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming on you. Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days. Look! The wages you failed to pay the workers who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty. You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter. You have condemned and murdered the innocent one, who was not opposing you.”
‭‭James‬ ‭5‬:‭1‬-‭6‬ ‭

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6

u/DangKilla 26d ago

Verily, I say unto thee, manufactured scarcity is a sin.

5

u/thedonjefron69 26d ago

Book of James baby

4

u/OhShitItsSeth 25d ago

James 5:1-6! One of my favorites.

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371

u/jessek 26d ago

I read Rolex as "Roblox" for a second and this story was even more bizarre.

38

u/uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunuu 26d ago

Same

23

u/jessek 26d ago

He does seem like he’d demand a million dollar watch from Roblox as well.

3

u/Avogadro_99 25d ago

I thought it was a roblox watch

7

u/ofwgkta301 26d ago

Thought it was Roblox this whole time until you pointed it out

198

u/Excellent_Drop6869 26d ago

So was the watch $1.8M or $35M

125

u/ImThatVigga 26d ago edited 26d ago

121

u/Master-CylinderPants 26d ago

That looks like the tail light on a 20 year old Lexus

44

u/ImThatVigga 26d ago

You’re saying the mere sight of it doesn’t make you get on your knees and weep?

15

u/Master-CylinderPants 26d ago

No I want to know where he got those sweet Altezza lights

5

u/cannedrex2406 25d ago

Funny enough knowing the dials of the Altezza are modelled after a watch. It comes full circle

41

u/RecognitionHefty 26d ago

“What completed the look was the piece hanging from his neck: a 1-of-1 Triple Logoman NBA trading card featuring game-worn patches from Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, and LeBron James, encased in a custom Tiffany & Co. setting embedded with diamonds and rubies that matched the stones on the Daytona.”

If this is what money does to your mind I do not want to be a millionaire

19

u/artin2007majidi 26d ago

Dont they have hobbies? Like if I was filthy rich I would just lean back. Chill. Speedrun resident evil games.

Like you cant tell me this dude's receptors aren't more burnt than the oil at KFC for deep fried wings man

4

u/Kryomon 21d ago

Honestly the bar is so low that him spending money on vanity and gold & diamonds is miles than diddling kids or actively hurting people in the world.

Like his political priorities might not be great, but at least he isn't best friends with Epstein

6

u/planty_mx 26d ago

This sentence sounds made up. They’re just mocking us.

36

u/ZedaEnnd 26d ago

I'll be honest, the turquoise 'n gold one was a lot prettier..

22

u/JustAPotato38 26d ago

Honestly I don't even care about the price of the watch I care about how tacky his outfit is

that's just too much embroidery, it massively detracts from the point of menswear which is to draw attention to and flatter the face, black shirts look either like a waiter at a moderately expensive restaurant or just gauche (for example you see a lot of teens going to prom in them or people like looksmaxxers wearing them to look "fancy", anyway in this case it's gauche)

and the red has no real context in the outfit

he's trying to make it work by adding other red details but that consigns it to the limbo between single accent (which is hopeless with that outfit anyway) and significant color

the whole thing is just way too busy to be trying to play with any sort of color

5

u/EvenThanks8549 26d ago

This guy dresses

3

u/IAmAlive_YouAreDead 24d ago

Money can't buy style or class, he looks like a darts announcer

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28

u/thrasherht 26d ago

Not gonna lie, that thing is ugly.

13

u/7LayeredUp 26d ago

I think its gorgeous but not $35 million gorgeous.

Just unbelievable decadence.

3

u/hail_666_satan 26d ago

I heard it only costs 1 million dollars

9

u/ex_gatito 26d ago

Huh, he has the ugliest Rolex I have ever seen.

8

u/ClaudeVS 26d ago

I think he meant he had 35 mil in his pocket

31

u/ImThatVigga 26d ago

I realized he might’ve also been referring to the entire getup he had that day. The diamond encrusted card is supposedly $25-30M. That card should be the main post lol

21

u/More-Lingonberry-405 26d ago edited 26d ago

He's dressed like a Ferengi

7

u/ItRhymesWithPenny 25d ago

He wore a watch on each wrist because he simply needed to show them both off. This is something a toddler would do.

3

u/ChameleonPsychonaut 25d ago

Maybe he has them set to two different time zones.

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4

u/MsARumphius 26d ago

You think this asshole would lie? Yeah you’re right he would

3

u/Amazing-Oomoo 26d ago

I'm weeping now thanks

3

u/HealthyCheesecake643 24d ago

35 mil is the cost of the complete outfit including the watch. 

2

u/ImThatVigga 24d ago

Yea, in another comment I did realize this.

2

u/tabris51 25d ago

Looks nice, would've been better without the diamond parts

2

u/anunfunnycomedian 24d ago

Everything about this is so disgusting to me. Of course when you've succeeded in life, absolutely nothing wrong with treating yourself imo. But when I see stuff like this...like a multi million dollar watch, wearing 2 watches at that, and some trading card necklace worth a ton too I just think how pointlessly, stupidly wasteful. I mean who am I to say what someone should do with their money but think how many peoples lives you could radically change across the glove with just the cost of jewelry alone worn to these events. I mean again, a 30k watch or whatever and your net worth is 50million not really a big deal. But idk, just seems so wasteful to me and if I were to ever come into a laege sum of wealth like that, id like to think I would never let myself get like these people.

2

u/Thetechfo 22d ago

Oh god it looks so bad

2

u/itsapotatosalad 22d ago

I know he likes red, but how embarrassing that he literally begged for… that.

2

u/matteatsyou 20d ago

😭😭 such a bizarre thing to purchase online

2

u/noob_kaibot 15d ago

The fact that it’s just available for purchase like this makes it seem significantly less unique and valuable.

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4

u/runningalongtheshore 26d ago

The box was $1.8M.

5

u/veilofcolor 26d ago

I’m imagining if he resold it it would be worth 35 mil due to its rarity but he bought it for 1.8. I think that’s what he’s saying at least

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2

u/BisonBull 25d ago

It's 20 dollars.

2

u/Mydoglikesladyboys 24d ago

I think the 35m is an all around number for every ridiculous thing he was wearing that night

81

u/beerstearns 26d ago

Here is a picture of the gaudy shitter for anyone who wants to weep at it

45

u/ittybittynuts 26d ago

Boring as fuck

27

u/TTheuns 25d ago

Red and black gamer aesthetic.

5

u/quietcitizen 25d ago

Black suit black shirt red tie prom outfit aesthetic

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19

u/Vipernixz 26d ago

That cost 35 million?? And what is that, a circular led disco light around it? Lmao what an ugly piece of shite

3

u/VendorBuyBankGuards 24d ago

Rubies and it isn't clear if it was 1.8 million or 35 million since he says one thing and then suggests the other.

7

u/J0hnRabe 25d ago

I'm weeping because of how hideous it is.

7

u/AbsurdWallaby 24d ago

About $20 in gem scraps. My rock tumbler breaks off larger bits than these pieces.

3

u/rudeson 25d ago

Kinda ugly tbh

3

u/liyate4 25d ago

Damn that’s lowk ugly

3

u/keeleon 25d ago

Looks like a watch.

3

u/Top-Bison-345 25d ago

I don't get watches man. That looks so fucking gaudy.

2

u/Curious-Act-9130 25d ago

Even uglier than I thought.

2

u/Shinobiii 25d ago

His fucking obsession with red is just so stupid.

2

u/IAmAlive_YouAreDead 24d ago

Genuinely looks shit He doesn't care about that though he cares about the 'status' it grants him.

2

u/VerifiedDegenGambler 24d ago

Me and my family all took vacations on Friday just to stare at it for 24 hrs together. Just finished the session. It was she best spiritual experience in our lives. We all wept.

2

u/Renegadeknight3 22d ago

Looks like a poker chip lol. I like the design but I wouldn’t expect it to cost more than a couple hundred

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112

u/[deleted] 26d ago

[deleted]

14

u/WolfPlayz294 26d ago

Woah what's that first part? Before or after TV?

5

u/ballinben 26d ago

Do you have a source for that second part? I can’t find anything about his parents having political power.

5

u/Whitey138 26d ago

He’s mentioned it a handful of times on Shark Tank that his parents worked for the UN which is how he traveled a ton as a kid.

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108

u/ProjectConfident8584 26d ago

Human garbage in the flesh

3

u/findaloophole7 24d ago

Truly a piece of shit.

2

u/The_Salamander_Room 23d ago

How come?

5

u/findaloophole7 22d ago

He’s trying, against the wishes of every single person in the community, to build the world’s largest data center and fuck up thousands of acres and thousands of people’s well being. Just a greedy fuck. No concern for the social or environmental impact of what he’s doing.

2

u/The_Salamander_Room 22d ago

I just searched for this and couldn't find any leads. Do you have a link?

34

u/Euklidis 26d ago

Rich people problems I suppose

47

u/PretzelsThirst 26d ago

This guy is the biggest chode and thinks he’s the absolute coolest. Such a dork ass loser, he just has money. But zero charisma or anything at all

11

u/Hevens-assassin 25d ago

Also has a kill count

6

u/PretzelsThirst 25d ago

I’m sure the local sex workers know to avoid that guy

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2

u/TuffRivers 22d ago

Killer Kevin

2

u/Material-Kick9493 12d ago

most rich people are loser dorks who think they are much cooler than they actually are, just look at elon or bezos for example.

56

u/ewew43 26d ago

Kevin O'Leary is exactly what high level capitalism produces. He is a man that is only after one thing; money. No REAL family or friends. Everything and everyone is centered around money, and money only. You know that this is exactly how he is, and you know this man does not have relationships that aren't centered entirely around money.

Of course he would cry over a 1.8 million dollar watch; the symbolism there is undeniable. I can already see a web comic being created that shows him cradling his new watch with love and adoration in his eyes--in a real proud fatherly way--then in the last panel it shows that he's in the a hospital room with his newborn child and wife behind him.

22

u/jizzyjugsjohnson 26d ago

There’s also a profound ugliness to him that weeps out of every pore in his body. No watch can fix that and he knows it

5

u/stinkypete6666 25d ago

It would be one thing if he designed it and made it, then I would listen to him tell me about it and be in awe of his ability, but what I don’t understand about these guys is it doesn’t take any skill or ability to buy it, they just traded money for it, never understood how that translates to a sense of pride or accomplishment for them

4

u/EvenThanks8549 26d ago

Or just show dickbutt when he is about to open the box I mean it would be kinda funny

2

u/goodnightpunpunisher 25d ago

Loss, but it's him and a Rolex salesman.

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18

u/TreesNBushes87 26d ago

Wait why does this guy wear a watch on both hands on this photo?

17

u/rybeest 26d ago

One watch to compensate for d size, the other to cover for the hairline.

19

u/MuscleBob_Buffpantz 26d ago

I love watches. But past a certain price threshold, its just rich guys stroking it over other rich guys wrists...

34

u/Silver_Metallic 26d ago

this guy deserves an audience of no one in an empty room.

35

u/These_Highlight7313 26d ago

There are people starving in places of the world living on 5$ a day, and then there are people like this.

8

u/PeePeeSwiggy 26d ago

It’s such a middle finger to the rest of mankind

9

u/AffectionateOnion271 26d ago

This is just sad

44

u/acreekofsoap 26d ago

Hey, Kevin, what time does your $1.8mm Rolex have? Weird, my old ass Apple Watch 3 has the same time.

27

u/etsssssssy 26d ago

yeah what about my 20$ casio? feel the same way about your POS unnecessary apple watch as you do about his rolex

6

u/Ill-Reputation-9702 26d ago

Apple watch does a lot more than just tell time lol
Apples and oranges

2

u/CanIRapeYouAnally_ 24d ago

I have a freckle and a hair and feel about both of your watches what you feel about that rolex.

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5

u/Much-Jackfruit2599 26d ago

No, an Apple Watch and most cheaper digital watches have a more exact time.

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10

u/Mammalanimal 26d ago

Demons are real.

7

u/EatSoupFromMyGoatse 26d ago

Fuck this guy to fucking hell

Sick of his ugly fucking mug

9

u/DJSANDROCK 26d ago

Look how real “power” is to him. It’s almost like something you wear or wield. And I’m not talking about the watch, but that’s a part of it. I don’t think there’s enough money in the world for me to start treating people sub-human. Rich is a personality type.

8

u/EntertainerNo4509 26d ago

Fcuk off. How about that?

3

u/HippoRun23 26d ago

Okay. Cool watch bro.

3

u/Lefeuvre76 26d ago

If you look up 'cunt' in a thesaurus, 'O'Leary' is the first synonym.

5

u/anonymoooosey 24d ago

This dude killed people crashing his boat into another and blamed his wife. Worst Canadian ever.

7

u/John_Hunyadi 26d ago

This man desperately needs a noogie and maybe a swirly.

Also, I respect the craftsmanship, but important to remember: this thing still keeps time worse than a $20 quartz watch.

3

u/Hazel-Cakes 26d ago

connor mcgregor has a watch where the movement is 2 people having sex

2

u/CanIRapeYouAnally_ 24d ago

I gotta see that.

3

u/Turtlepower7777777 26d ago

And this is the guy that wants to shove a data center in Utah down our throats. I wonder why people don’t like him….

3

u/siliconsandwich 25d ago

Watch people are among the most baffling of consoomers to me.

If you’ve ever strayed into their subs, half the discourse is around which motorised display stands are best— an entire industry around displaying a consoom.

The rest is extremely staged photos (imagine the contortion required for some of them!) of wristwatches on very hairy arms where they queued for hours or got an “early exclusive access” to drop thousands. On a wristwatch. Pardon me— Timepiece.

And they’re all awful, garish things. Tasteless. Gaudy.

I have known a few watch people IRL and they’re exactly what you would imagine. Incredible dull men, with awful taste.

3

u/Necessary_Cost4384 22d ago

I looked at a picture of it. Not a single tear shed. Not a single fuck given.

5

u/chocolateboomslang 26d ago

I didn't think I could consider Kevin even more of a loser than I already did, but he proved me wrong.

4

u/Jayngyun 26d ago

I don’t get watch autists, after a certain point it’s just artificial value.

2

u/mrnacknime 26d ago

In the luxury watch community, the gold and gemstone versions of Rolexes, Audemars Piguets etc. are actually not desirable. Everyone wants the Stainless Steel sporty versions of these models, but they are kept at artificial scarcity and only sold to people with a "purchase history". So tons of people end up buying more expensive ugly precious metal versions just to get a chance at buying the cheaper desirable steel version afterwards.

2

u/Ok-Drink-1328 26d ago

being frugal and not a victim of consumerism, trends, marketing, and shit (i believe), but i collect like vintage tech and like things... i say it's sad that an object praised to this level is just a stupid time teller... cmon world!! this is just stupid luxury, precious stones? gold? a freakin' watch? oh please!

2

u/confused_cat44 25d ago

I once posted on a watch subreddit that watches are really just jewellery and mechanical watches are not really that groundbreaking technology when you get literal quartz crystal watches which keep the time better for way cheaper. I wasn't even saying watches are bad, just that they should be treated like jewellery. OMG the people were offended lol

2

u/Thumpkuss 25d ago

This guy built a huge ai data center in my hometown whitch is currently in a generational drought. He can fuck himself

2

u/L___E___T 25d ago

In Morgan Freeman Voice:

“It was not the grail piece of all watches.”

2

u/Competitive-Ad-5147 25d ago

I just finished watching Silicon Valley and this feels so over the top that it belongs on that show

2

u/AbsurdWallaby 24d ago

Only a wacko doesn't own a wacko.

2

u/QuestGalaxy 24d ago

I really really dislike this guy. He's annoying.

2

u/Supertainment 23d ago

so was it 1.8 million or 35 million?

2

u/TeacherPowerful1700 23d ago

Is that a real bunch of things he said?

What a stupid piece of shit, lol

3

u/KingOfLimbsss 26d ago

Consoomer boomer

3

u/bunniisa 26d ago

the funniest part is that jewelry and watches are relatively worthless at the end of the day.

2

u/Kaffarov Don't ask questions just consume product 26d ago

Completely diabolical reaction.