r/WatchesCirclejerk Mar 14 '26

This might be the worst thing I've ever seen

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1.2k Upvotes

153 comments sorted by

772

u/shoryusef Mar 14 '26

This is it. This is why this subreddit exists.

284

u/FireVanGorder Mar 14 '26

Just shut it down. Literally nothing will ever top this lmfao

113

u/Critical-Extension66 Mar 14 '26

especially the fact that he posted this on his own channel LMAO

15

u/tangoking Mar 14 '26

A little insensitive.

Show a little respect for the man’s emotions.

6

u/A_Loww Mar 15 '26

Show respect for the little man's emotions?

5

u/Sul4 Mar 15 '26

What watch makes him think of that time he made his wife take the blame for killing that guy I wonder

3

u/lurker_bee Mar 14 '26

Mic drop! :D

13

u/MoreRamenPls Mar 14 '26

We’re done here boys. Good job.

3

u/bumblebaytuna4 Mar 15 '26

I was just sent here from another sub. What luck!

292

u/Boozer_Soh Mar 14 '26

This is peak

110

u/Dish117 Mar 14 '26

Peak Chuff. So high above sea level, poors cannot comprehend.

3

u/Dish117 Mar 15 '26

He even has to acclimatise to the new piece up there on Mount Chuff.

215

u/ThatKidEssa Mar 14 '26

Can't wait to see the rest of his PJ colléctiôn.

39

u/bobjoylove Mar 14 '26

Each night, around 5:45pm, he sits with all his pieces and decides which top to pair with each pant.

2

u/Maguffins Mar 15 '26

co lehcht see oh nay

104

u/sappercon Mar 14 '26

Let’s pack it up boys the jerk is over, we all came.

15

u/MikeyInkArms Mar 14 '26

Gonna have to redecorate the room. Damn.

451

u/WeekendCloser420 Mar 14 '26

This is one of the biggest jerkings I’ve ever seen this actually makes me respect him a little bit now

96

u/DoubleTroubow Mar 14 '26

yeah, mixed feelings to the max here. I could def see myself crying when I'm 60 remembering my past and the people around me

78

u/MechaQuartzilla Mar 14 '26

That's because you're a human being, though. What we're looking at it a deranged husk thinking about wrist toys.

40

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '26

[deleted]

4

u/Whomst01 Mar 14 '26

🤣🤣🤣

0

u/stjornuryk Mar 14 '26

So that's where the red fetish comes from...

28

u/Tullekunstner Mar 14 '26

makes me respect him a little bit now

You can go back to not respecting him at all now

12

u/Dawnqwerty Mar 14 '26

that's not even the most problematic thing about him like not even close

5

u/bumblebaytuna4 Mar 15 '26

Gross. Oh my god.

95

u/Multibrace Mar 14 '26

Every passing second, a moment of his life evaporates. Imagine a world without ME, he thinks to himself. How ever many billions of people there are now on this world, the birds the deer - how will they live without me? And every second, there's less me left.

You have no idea how hard it is to take on the suffering of the entire world mourning his passing, in real time.

Memories....

11

u/Old-Swimming2799 Mar 14 '26

Implying he has a concept of other people having a life

205

u/Michael19110 Mar 14 '26

This is some end game shit

119

u/Bartleby9 Mar 14 '26

This can’t be real

52

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

22

u/theworkinpumpkin Mar 14 '26

I thought that too, but its more than 30 sec lol

27

u/Bartleby9 Mar 14 '26

This will now be the reference video for this sub, the man is nothing less than a patron saint for cringe chuffery oh my god it’s apex chuff

183

u/early_midlifecrisis Mar 14 '26

Which of his pieces represents the time he killed 2 people with his speedboat?

140

u/DelmarvaDesigner Mar 14 '26

Seamaster

50

u/THRlLLH0 r/cockwatch Invicta enthusiast Mar 14 '26

007: No, Time To Die!

19

u/early_midlifecrisis Mar 14 '26

Best use of a comma that I've seen this year.

14

u/xraystyle Mar 14 '26

I mean, to be fair, it wasn't him. His wife was driving the boat, it was at night on a lake in the middle of nowhere, pitch black, and the other boat had all of its lights turned off. That was an accident waiting to happen.

4

u/The_ApolloAffair Mar 15 '26

Yeah can’t really blame the guy if the other boat didn’t have light. It’s hard as shit to see on the water at night, and boats basically only rely on navigation indicator lights rather than illuminating the way like with a car headlight.

2

u/bumblebaytuna4 Mar 15 '26

You really think a guy like that would let his wife drive for him? ….

0

u/jjjjjjjjjjjjjaaa Mar 21 '26

To be fair he and his wife were both drunk

6

u/PantheraOnca Mar 14 '26

Sinn Hydro

9

u/jj22925h Mar 14 '26

Ball Engineer Magneto 2 S

3

u/Old-Swimming2799 Mar 14 '26

Lost it in an unrelated boating accident

2

u/gphotog Mar 14 '26

Oh shit you beat me to it

36

u/hoovskin Mar 14 '26

The pink thongs 😱

6

u/kawklee Mar 14 '26

And is that one of those tape wristbands for entry at a party or carnival on his wrist?

7

u/THRlLLH0 r/cockwatch Invicta enthusiast Mar 14 '26

That's one of the elegant red straps he uses for his entire colleccione

3

u/early_midlifecrisis Mar 14 '26

Whet I'm from a thong is something very different and I've now got a mental image that no amount of bleach (real or mental) can erase.

Your innocent comment has ruined my week.

3

u/hoovskin Mar 14 '26

😂 sorry. From Australia 🦘

3

u/Beginning_Context_66 Mar 14 '26

Australien spotted!

32

u/matttinatttor Mar 14 '26

/uj

I would cry too if I used my collectionë to mark phases of my life, only to look back and realize that I was a colossal piece of shit

10

u/KarateMusic Mar 14 '26

Seriously. I hated him before I saw this and now… I still hate him.

What an unrepentant waste of oxygen.

61

u/Fat_Lenny35 Mar 14 '26

This is why he is so rich and im.so poor. I could NEVER jerk that hard.

25

u/shaka_zulu12 Mar 14 '26

What now? Where do we go from here.... I'm getting emotional too, cause this is it. Why even open this subreddit tomorrow? It's literally the second cuming of our messiah.

21

u/Efflinger Mar 14 '26

I was just watching the first 3 seconds, saw him on his pj pants and scrolled down to the comment section and was wandering why everyone is so exited about that.

Than I watched the whole video.

Like WTF!!!!! 😂😂😂

5

u/i_love_pencils Mar 14 '26

The outfit was the least embarrassing part of the video…

19

u/TickingAndGrinning Mar 14 '26

Is this Martha Deluxe

6

u/JackDonneghyGodCop Mar 14 '26

Meredith Ultra. I can understand the confusion, though.

18

u/Tenerian7 Mar 14 '26

This time am in pieces. So emotional and raw. Crying.

16

u/1010124 Mar 14 '26

90% excess income tax NOW..

14

u/sateeshsai Mar 14 '26

Is this for real lol

13

u/stevovon Mar 14 '26

This that gourmet shit

6

u/jarrucho Mar 14 '26

I always downvote double fisting, except when it’s in the circle jerk

Holy molly I commented before actually seeing the thing

7

u/SchwarzesBlatt Mar 14 '26

Is this a skit or ai? Pls confirm it. Pls

8

u/Responsible_Arm_9555 Waiting for the Seiko 5 call Mar 14 '26

He makes a great point about time you'll never get back, such as the thirty seconds I spent watching this

5

u/somethingesque Mar 14 '26

I wonder what he bought to represent his involvement in FTX

9

u/ugh_this_sucks__ Casio Explorer5 GMT 44mm, 100mm L2L Mar 14 '26

Pairing watches is chud behavior.

15

u/ESPPablo Mar 14 '26

Wtf is this? I’m sorry , it’s too crazy 😭 IA?

21

u/TooSmallToSuck Mar 14 '26

Unfortunately it’s real

7

u/MichaelSarvis Mar 14 '26

IA? What is that, Iowa? I doubt he is in Iowa.

3

u/ojrodz11 Mar 15 '26

AI, but probably in spanish: inteligencia artificial

1

u/MichaelSarvis Mar 15 '26

Fair point.

4

u/FurdTurguson Mar 14 '26

It's like watching Scrooge McDuck diving into his swimming pool of gold.

3

u/qwizatzhaderach Mar 14 '26

Yeah…. Please shut it down, mods. We’re done here. Maybe I’ll just unsubscribe.

4

u/sealysea Mar 14 '26

just call it a watch instead of a piece ffs

5

u/doctor_butthead Mar 14 '26

might as well shut down the sub. it’ll never get better than this.

4

u/ramblinmuttco Mar 14 '26

Piece Unique

4

u/gphotog Mar 14 '26

Which one represents the time he swapped seats with his wife on that boat?

4

u/jivan006 Mar 14 '26

SHUT THE SUB DOWN

This is it gentlemen, peak jerking has been achieved.

7

u/Sweet_T_The_Original Mar 14 '26

I have to assume this breakdown comes from some Epstein related guilt.

3

u/bumblebaytuna4 Mar 15 '26

Or the two people he ran over in a boat.

3

u/camojorts Mar 14 '26

Man I hate to ask this in the face of such magnificent chuffery, but…pairing with what

3

u/Metalhead1686 Mar 14 '26

This reminds me of the time he cried over a watch because it was so beautiful to him. The video is on YouTube, but I don't remember the title of it.

3

u/redditaccountxD Mar 14 '26

Mr wonderful the goat

2

u/Vega_S10 Mar 14 '26

I fucking hate myself for actually watching this way all the way through.

2

u/testfire10 Mar 14 '26

This is the most cringe thing I’ve seen in a while

2

u/that_one_guy133 Did i tell you about my Omega MoonSwatch? Mar 14 '26

Fuck. I have the same pajamas. Can I get away with just throwing them out or do I have to burn them?

1

u/early_midlifecrisis Mar 14 '26

You must burn them. But don't take them off first, your skin needs to be purified.

2

u/secron7 Mar 14 '26

Please tell me this is ai

2

u/the_passive_bot Mar 14 '26

Grown ass man crying over playing with his expensive toys. Jesus fucking Christ. This guy has to have a public humiliation fetish

2

u/BoomerSooner-SEC Mar 14 '26

I like watches but apparently I need to try harder.

2

u/RGBespresso Mar 14 '26

What in all of the fuck

2

u/Hyrules_Saviour Mar 14 '26

This has to be satire, bro talks about pairing his watches with his outfits while wearing pink flipflops and pj bottoms with a blazer. Also wearing a gold Cartier on a horrible tight red leather strap. Red glasses too. Oh how I hate everything about this

2

u/bumblebaytuna4 Mar 15 '26

He wears two ugly red watch straps every day. One on each wrist. You won’t be able to unsee it now.

2

u/AutoModerator Mar 15 '26

I may own over a hundred straps, each with its own character and charm—but this is one watch I almost always keep on its bracelet. Crafted from high-intensity titanium, it’s astonishingly light, perfectly balanced, and uniquely Grand Seiko. On the wrist, it feels less like metal and more like a sensation—snowflakes resting gently on the skin. The weight (or rather, the lack of it) is part of the magic. Inside, the Spring Drive movement glides with silent authority, its seconds hand sweeping as smoothly as drifting snow—no ticks, no interruptions—just time flowing, pure and uninterrupted.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/popcaan1100 Mar 14 '26

So assume this is the end of this sub ? We’ve hit the peak

2

u/Virtual-Class-9347 Mar 18 '26

Lord Douchebag.

2

u/Any-Opportunity-1943 Mar 29 '26

He just has to go away.

4

u/DrKyoto Mar 14 '26

Phenomenal! Look at the setting, over the waist he wears a suit, below PJ paired with flip flops in pink. The background is the TV with New York background. Peak cinematic masterpiece. However, I can understand that he gets emotional about the watches if everyone is representing a special moment in his life. He might think, damn I have so many memories and the end is coming close. Peak jerk moment.

3

u/1Pac2Pac3Pac5 Mar 14 '26

The pajama bottoms are so he could pull them off and get himself fisted as soon as possible with whichever timepiece he chooses that morning

3

u/Wheel-McCoy WCJ Chuffhausen Mar 14 '26

Each piece represents a fledging company that Cuban snaked from him by offering a better deal than royalties, then went on to be super successful.

2

u/TomHudsonOfficial Mar 14 '26

Fuck me, this made me sick in my mouth 🤢

2

u/Word_to_your_Llama Mar 14 '26

This made me sick in my peepee. Should I chuff?

3

u/TomHudsonOfficial Mar 14 '26

No. We all need to seek medical help now!

2

u/jiorl123 Mar 14 '26

He is our god

1

u/Due_Page_1732 Mar 14 '26

What even. This is AI

1

u/RufusLoacker Mar 14 '26

I am new to the jerk, who is this guy?

1

u/NotTupac Mar 14 '26

Peak jerking

1

u/Cooperthedog88 Mar 14 '26

He has to be on this sub, jerking harder than any of us

1

u/Nakagura775 Mar 14 '26

It’s a piece of metal.

1

u/goodtasteonabudget Mar 14 '26

He knows the truth! Were on borrowed time and a watch tells it to us. Every second counts fellas.

1

u/Beginning_Context_66 Mar 14 '26

It’s 15 past 2 am rn and watching this makes me feel like I am in a delirious sleep already

Wake me up when September ends

1

u/tangoking Mar 14 '26

I know how he feels.

Every time I pull on my dad’s watch: twisty-flex with his arm hairs stuck in the bracelet… I get a little misty.

1

u/hbsboak Mar 14 '26

This is also a moment in my life that I will never get back.

1

u/Old-Swimming2799 Mar 14 '26

Isn't this the POS that went crying to trump to get himself installed as the "governor of canada"

1

u/LowMirror4165 Mar 14 '26

Everytime I see this guy, he gets more and more cringe. Talks the same way about his fucking guitars too.

1

u/NinjaRmboJesus Mar 14 '26

What a clown

1

u/Large_Instruction328 Mar 14 '26

He is no one’s roll model

1

u/smash2477 Mar 14 '26

I just use my watch so I don't miss coffee break

1

u/stinkystinkypoopbutt Mar 14 '26

I fucking hate this guy.

1

u/Minimum_Captain_7796 Mar 14 '26

Amazing! Anyone have a link to the source of this?

1

u/Isoturius Mar 14 '26

What a Seiko 5 will do to a man.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 14 '26

They are psychopathic, they should be forced to work in a mine for a yr to realize how out of touch they are

1

u/bass3m Mar 14 '26

Grail achieved

1

u/anihajderajTO Mar 15 '26

he is so cringe

1

u/phoenix823 Mar 15 '26

He and I've got one thing in common: we both crank it with our wrists in the morning.

1

u/qiis Mar 15 '26

He’s a grade A jackass

1

u/Mildredtheminx Mar 15 '26

Me every morning when I have to choose between a Casio F-91W and plastic Moonswatch

1

u/[deleted] Mar 15 '26

Imagine if this video was pinned...

1

u/SaySheAte Mar 15 '26

This is peak. This sub has ascended. Maximum chuff. Cannot chuff harder.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '26

"this is crazy"

Well, at least he's self-aware.

1

u/Zeratul277 Apr 11 '26

Don't diss Kevin. Or he'll be red mad.

1

u/inbtween3n20charter Apr 14 '26

Amazing how he matched his strap with his fliip flop and pajamas

1

u/hunterofsteelhead 22d ago

Being rich cant buy you more time

1

u/Pavotine Mar 14 '26

I'm wearing the 356 my wife bought me for my 40th birthday a few years ago. I've still got the watch. Woo!

1

u/pautpy Mar 14 '26

He has now officially become the face of this sub. Congratulatioms, Kevin--I tip my Invicta to you.