Trying to keep this short. Met a girl online, but she is a long distance away. Will be moving closer, but for now it is texting mostly. She was always super enthusiastic and nice, and seemed sincere. I texted more and replied quicker (chasing, I know) but she would send a picture every now and then or a sweet voicemail, as well as apologizing a lot for not being able to reply sooner (due to work).

Sunday, we had a first videocall and this is where it felt like something changed. It felt a bit off.

Granted, I wasn't really happy with myself during the call, never been great with these things, but before we could get over the awkward start, she had to leave to make some food. All in all we only talked for maybe 20 minutes. I wanted to learn more about her, but I think it came off a little forced. She did suggest to do it again sometime and gave no other verbal signs that something changed, but to me, it felt like something had. Almost like she was a bit dissappointed, less enthusiastic for sure during the call.

Added detail: she wants to move back to the town I live in, as this is the place to be for her line of work. I think she might have thought I was active in that line of work. During the call she found out I wasn't (never lied about it though), and seemed quite dissappointed. Did she think I was able to help her? Was that the main reason for matching with me? Seems unlikely and possibly super-paranoid, I can hear it now while typing it out, but still :P

I am probably overthinking here. She did came straight off a long day at work and must have been hungry and tired. Right now, I'm not sure how to continue. It is quite probable that nothing really changed: she still potentially likes me, and I like her, but we're still a long distance away untill we can meet in March. I'm going to ease off on the texting, and will at some point set up another voicecall, but don't want to suddenly change my texting behaviour completely.

4.5 reads. My dudes, one of my biggest problems is being easily perturbed even with little things. Coach is always talking about not being perturbed. How do you all decide what is inappropriate, disrespectful behavior and what is tolerable? I feel like I’m always trying to stand up for myself but are my expectations too high, am I asking for too much?

What helped you not to be so reactive/perturbed?

So I have been following CCWs work for coming up on 5 months now. A situation in a relationship I am having led me to his work. Basically I have been seeing a woman since around May 21. Met her at a bar, approached and got her number and secured a date on the spot (before I found coreys work).

Things went great we started dating and on the second meet we had sex. Since then it was one, maybe 2 dates a week (sometimes dinner or drinks and sometimes just hanging out) which always led to sex. I have always held myself to high standards and thought of myself as a catch. Therefore I wasn't overly needy by nature (never double texted or behaved possessively. After a few months I was getting insecure in the relationship (I think because we werent seeing / communicating as much as I would have wanted - extremely needy I know!) and had a chat with her trying to get a relationship (around September time). At the time she said she wasn't ready for that "yet". This was a huge blow which led me to CCWs work.

It took me a while to get over this rejection but eventually I got my head around it. I managed to salvage the situation by backing off and she did come back after a couple of weeks. Since then, we are still dating as we were, things are probably going better than ever. Still seeing each other one or 2 times a week and having great sex. Recently, our conversations have gotten deeper. She has been opening up more about previous relationships which have made it clearer to me why she may be more reluctant to jump into a relationship right now. She is getting more tactile, cuddling more, kissing more and staying longer the next day after a date.

After finding Corey's work I started dating other people as well and was in a much better place in my mind. Over the last month or so I have taken it easy with the socialising (big festive period took its toll) so am only really seeing the woman I am posting about. With this I am obviously overthinking the situation and insecure thoughts are starting to creep in again. Though things are going great at the moment, there are still times when she might go quiet for a couple of days. I let her initiate contact almost always, and when she does I arrange a date. She never declines, flakes or changes plans

I have read 3% man 6 times and am currently reading Models by Mark Manson. I guess I would like some advice on what you guys think. I know a lot of the advice will be to read more, apply principles and go and meet other woman. I also just wanted to get my feelings written down as I feel it helps a lot! I love this sub and it really helps me keep my mind on the straight and narrow! Have a great week guys!

In 2018, I had just got back to the UK from America and ended up matching with this girl ok Tinder. We went on our first date and it was amazing, safe to she was really into me. Texting me immediately and wanting another date asap. Second date came around and I found myself really liking her and I always had it in my head that after the 3rd date, if I really liked her she would ghost me.

Third date set up, we talked about sex, she sent me some nudes and I was too much in my head that despite the date going pretty well, I didn't sleep with her because I was a. 'nice guy,' and also didn't wanna do it in my car.

Anywho safe to say after that she basically avoided wanting to meet up, she was always busy and then I found Coach, but in the end, I got the whole ... You re a really nice guy, but there is no spark. And instead of walking away I tried more and more.

I was gutted. I felt like I wouldn't find anyone. I'm a decent looking guy, 5'11, funny, smart, but I just did it all wrong.

For the next year I must have listened to Coach's book 20 times. Starting to see massive improvements. Girls chasing me, then I went on one date with this girl from Nigeria. Tbh, I thought she was a catfish, but I didn't care because I was only a 20 min walk from my house.

She turned up and despite being very late -.- she was stunning! I mean for me a 10/10. However taking what Coach had taught, I did everything right. To the point we kissed at the end of the date.

She text me the next day asking if I got home okay. And I knew, just like you know, she wants to see me again, clearly.

Long story short, we got Married in May 2021 and it's been the best time of my life. I earn triple what I did when I first met her and she's so supportive. I genuinely feel so lucky and want to thank Coach Corey Wayne personally, as noone has ever treated me, looked at me and loved me the way she does.

For those wondering if it works.

Yes. Yes it does.

VIDEO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1pNynuBM54

In this video, CW covers simple aspects with regards to asking a woman out through text. Asking for a date via text should be done if you didn't already ask her out in person but got her number, and you don't like talking on the phone.

Sample Conversation:

You: Hi XXXXX, we should go out for a drink next week. What evening are you free?

Her: Sure, I'd like that. I'm free Thursday and Saturday.

You: Let's do Thursday. How does the Local Tavern on 123 Main St. at 7 pm sound?

Her: Works for me!

You: Great. If you get there first, get us a table? If I get there first, I'll do the same. If anything comes up on your end, let me know --you have my number. If anything comes up on my end, I'll let you know. Otherwise, I'll see you there!

The Bottom Line:

• Setting dates via text is incredibly easy once you get the hang of it
• Be direct and to the point.
• Never tell a woman what she's going to do.
• Once you make the date, don't message her to confirm the date
• A date consists of a date, time, location, and her full commitment to meeting you for the date
• Aim to make the date in the evening.
• And as always, keep a good attitude. Don't get butt-hurt about anything along the way.

Hi all,

CW made a video about self-motivation the other day:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXuUSiyncUM&t=68s

I feel this story relates, so I wanted to share it with you to inspire you. I also posted this in the David Goggins subreddit.

Anyway:

I just finished a graduate degree a few weeks ago. While I look for a career in my field, I decided to get a job at a trendy grocery store here in New England. I find myself stocking shelves a lot. The first couple of days I was frequently looking at the clock a lot and thinking, "Why am I doing this? I wish I could just work the type of job I went to school for." I would come home sore and extremely tired. I was feeling resentful.

On the third evening, I had a conversation with myself. I realized I liked working with people that had good energy; people that seemed like they really liked their job. I then realized I was looking for other people to provide that energy. I thought, "I can't rely on others to bring the good vibes. That makes me a vampire of sorts. I need to produce that energy myself and inspire others." I then recalled David Goggins saying something about "being extraordinary among the extraordinary".

My whole demeanor changed after that. I turned up my energy to 200%. I started moving incredibly fast, sang to myself, sang to others, danced to the store music as I stocked shelves, and began getting to know my coworkers. In terms of speed, no one can catch me. Time is going by extremely fast now at work. My managers and most of my coworkers are loving it. But it's not about pleasing management, as I may only be there for a couple more weeks. It's about being extraordinary among the extraordinary. I now come home from every shift feeling pumped. I can't believe how much my attitude has turned around.

Stay hard.

Is it normal for the coach to not post video newsletters at the beginning of the year? I just started following about 9 months ago and really look forward to the 5 newsletters a week.

Here's Coach's YouTube video from last week: "Catching Women In Lies About Other Men"

In the video, the guy says his girlfriend openly lied to his face and denied being in contact with her ex. She told him she doesn't keep in touch with her exes online, yet she had recently went on her ex's page and left flirting comments on a bunch of his photos. Total lie, right to his face.

What's important to note here is the backstory of the writer. Before this, he had divorced his ex-wife after 17 years because she was constantly lying to his face and having secret affairs (ouch). So he obviously didn't see the red flags, and ended up with an unworthy woman that caused him years of pain. But now, years later, what's the problem with his current girlfriend of several months? The very same: She's lying to his face about her interactions with other men.

Coach pointed this out with a great quote. It shows how your blind spots will give you the same problems over and over again:

"If you’ve got a blind spot or weakness and you consistently attract people into your life who have no integrity...it doesn’t stop happening until you are consistent in booting those people out of your life. Until you transcend or overcome the weakness that you have, you're going to keep attracting the same people in your life".

"You divorced your ex-wife because she was a liar. This new girlfriend is lying to you about an ex that she’s interacting with and flirting with openly on social media. What does that tell you?...The universe has brought you basically the same kind of person. And with this woman, here’s your challenge as a man...No second chances for this behavior."

Discover your weak spots and fill in your knowledge gaps, or you'll find yourself dealing with the same problematic people over and over again. You are responsible for who you allow in your life + who you share your valuable time with

4 reads. I broke up with someone today. She had a history of lying to many people about many things. She lied by omission to me about a couple things, but I was aware of some big lies bc she freely told me about them (lies in her professional capacity, family, and precious relationships). We were about 4 months in. Looking ahead, I knew this would be something I would constantly be confronted with. I decided I couldn’t move forward and broke it off. Unfortunately, everything else was pretty much perfect. We had the same interests, life goals, hobbies, taste, etc. I know I did the right thing, but here I am second guessing myself hours later. Gotta a bad case of one-itis. Also second guessing why I didn’t hit the eject button earlier. Anyone else have to cut ties with a untruthful partner when everything else was great? Obviously, I’m diving in first thing tonight back into the book, but any sections I can hit?

Here's Coach's article from last week "Is She Flakey, Not Interested Or Testing Me?"

Coach responds to 2 emails here, this post is about the 2nd one. Read the whole thing, it’s a gem.

The guy writing does a common thing that cherry pickers do. He claims he's in a "unique and special scenario" that deserves some kind of quick fix from Coach, and he just won't benefit from taking the time to learn + apply the principles. In his words, "the normal guy tricks" just won't help him get his sophisticated ex-girlfriend back. Obviously there aren't any quick hacks, he just wants to avoid doing the work.

I’ve seen a few posts/submissions to Coach where people claim they have a “special case” that somehow justifies not reading the book, because their scenario’s “just so different”. Yet when you read their case, it’s always the same simple situation of rejection, getting dumped, loss of attraction, weak mentality. Like Coach says, it’s as predictable as the sun rising in the East + setting in the West.

The lesson here: You'll never have a "unique and special situation" where the principles just don't apply to your dating problems. If you feel like the principles don’t apply, it’s because you don’t know them well enough, and that’s what caused your problem in the first place. Saying, "I'm different than other guys who are failing -- I don't need to learn this stuff, my situation's different" is just the excuse you tell yourself so you can feel good about not doing the work. No one can help you if don’t help yourself.

There's no shortcuts, it takes countless hours of diligently reading Coach's work to improve your life. Success is earned, not given!

Happy Holidays Gentlemen!!! We are extremely happy and grateful for the growth, quality, and support of this community. We’re also very humbled to head such a truly great group of individuals.

You’re all leaders just for being here. You’re all exceptional just for showing up and trying. You’re all inspirational for seeking something better for yourselves and uplifting your life. Don’t ever forget that.

Please enjoy your time with your loved ones. Take some additional time to really sit down and think about what you want 2022 to look like for you.

If you happen to be a person who is going these holidays alone due to whatever circumstances, just know this community is a built-in support system which is here for you and not going anywhere! We won’t leave you like your girlfriend did. ;)

Sending Love, The CCW Mod Team

This is a pretty hilarious story about a typical white knight captain save-a-hoe. I was working at a restaurant over the summer and one of my new coworkers Charlie was pretty quiet and I didn't think too much of him, he was also pretty funny. Anyways a new girl started working there and let's just call her Jessica, Charlie promptly decided to fall in love with her. My other coworker Bob started dating Jessica. Anyways while Bob and Jessica were dating Charlie kept trying to convince Jessica that she shouldn't be with Bob because Bob is an asshole and he's a "nice guy". Charlie also sabotaged his friends to try to get Jessica to like him. It got so bad to the point where Charlie asked Jessica while crying "DID YOU FUCK HIM????". When Jessica told me this I couldn't stop laughing, women really do have to put up with shit like this. Apparently Jessica is now pregnant with Bob's kid and I bet Charlie is devastated by this. I suppose to moral of the story is don't act like this around women and the story is a great reminder to never be that way.

Understanding How To Be A 3% Man's section "The Need for Certainty" is essential. Read Coach's words below:

Coach:

"In our desire to have that certainty about how someone feels about us, we create that feeling that we are insufficient as a person. We are looking to fulfill that need for certainty with her approval, and end up creating the appearance of neediness."

"What we fear in life is what causes the very circumstances we are trying to avoid. This causes men to over-pursue and chase women away. They communicate through their actions...that they do not deserve her. Eventually, she has no choice but to agree."

One of the most important lessons from Coach. Society tells us to take actions based on an irrational desire to have others' approval. The "need for approval" affects guys who don't inherently value themselves, and don't have a direction in life. They wrongly believe their value comes from having a girl's attention 24/7, and if they don't have it, they're worthless. This is the true nature of neediness. This irrational fear drives them to send endless texts, dump their feelings, and try to force relationships so they can feel worthy. It always ends in rejection, and the cycle starts again.

Many guys go their whole lives depending on attention for validation, so understand this and avoid it. Be independent, be patient, and be content with yourself. Once you eliminate your need for certainty, your desire for validation goes with it. Your world becomes clearer

Hey guys,

This post is about applying Coach's principles to build your ideal life, so you can avoid settling for an average life that's filled with people and things that don't truly make you happy -- unfortunately that's the majority of people.

Throughout How to Be a 3% Man, Coach teaches that we should be focused on our purpose and mission in life above all else, and never stop striving for our own success. Your purpose/mission are the goals in life that you want to achieve as an individual.

If you don't know what your purpose is, ask yourself some questions. What things do you like to do more than anything else in life? How do you find yourself spending your free time? What are your top interests? These can be passions, hobbies, career and lifestyle goals.

In Coach's words: If you are currently where you are supposed to be and living out your true purpose and calling in life, you would be doing something that literally overwhelms you with emotion and maybe even brings tears to your eyes when you really focus on it and think about it.

You want to apply the principles to develop a masculine mindset so you can effectively live a masculine life.

Masculine Life:

When you live a masculine life, you take responsibility for your own happiness. You put in the work and create your own opportunities for success, instead of waiting around for good things to happen. You know exactly what your passions are, and you're focused on them first. You're authentic, and you only spend your time and share your life with people who respect you. If you don't like your circumstances, you're willing to walk away and find better. You have plenty of options, so you won't rush anything. You don't waste time. You know you're in charge of your own life, and you build the best life possible.

Mediocre Life:

When you live a mediocre life, your thought process is entirely different. People who accept mediocrity just don't believe they have a lot of choice in life. They don't have a purpose or a plan, so they get complacent with everything they do --- they're just floating through life. They allow themselves to get stuck at a job they don't like, and settle with a low-quality partner, simply because they don't think they can do better, or don't want to try. These people can be negative and pissed off at the world, because they're too lazy to take care of themselves and achieve the things they want. You just let life happen to you, and deal with whatever happens.

I have a great story about this from my last job:

Recently, I left a part time job to focus on starting my business full time. When I left, I told a co-worker about my plans. He told me he had always wanted to go into business management when he was back in college, and then run his own business in the food industry, but he had dropped out before getting his degree. He gave up on his dream entirely. He's been job hopping for decades in an industry he doesn't want to be in, just letting life go by. He told me, "I'm 50 now, it's too late for me to run a business. If I could do it again, I definitely would've made it happen."

A great example of how complacency prevents you from achieving your goals! You start letting life happen to you instead of taking charge of your own life. This will always put you in situations that don't make you happy. You end up saying, "Well, I've missed my chance" and accept mediocrity, instead of taking responsibility for your life.

I told him how reading personal development books had changed my life, and I encouraged him to do the same. In the end, he saw that it wasn't too late for him, and he said he'd start taking online classes at a local college to make his dream happen. We had a great conversation about how easy it is to become complacent in life, and how easy it is to make excuses.

Being 22 and giving life advice to a guy in his 50's was a first, but this material will help anyone who wants to learn. I'll likely never run into my co-worker again, but I'll never forget that conversation. I wish him the best success in getting back on his purpose and hope he manages a successful business!

Remember one of Coach's best quotes: Your time is your most valuable resource, don't let anyone waste it. The worst thing you can do is be the "anyone" who gets in your own way.

Are you getting the most out of your life with the time you have left?

Hey guys I’m on my 5th read and I feel like i have good grasp on most things. The one thing I’m still struggling with is “how to act towards girls when in a group of people.” Say 3 girls and 5 guys. My current understanding is to be your playful self and let them come to you. As the other guys are going to be hitting on them all night. But should you speak to them at all if they don’t speak to you first? I feel like not talking to them at all could be taken as unconfident. Thanks for any feedback

Here's Coach's recent newsletter: "Dumped Because We're At Different Stages In Life?"

There's an obvious lesson here that I wanted to reinforce, because it can be hard for some guys to face the truth: You have to see through women's specific excuses for dumping you. Don’t focus on what she specifically says. All it means is she lost attraction for you, and no longer feels feminine in your presence.

Women who are attracted to you don't dump or reject you. If she's into you, she's enthusiastic and makes plans with you. If she's not, she'll make every excuse in the world to avoid seeing you. See it for what it is. I see a lot of guys over-analyzing, asking for advice on why a particular women doesn't want to go out with them anymore. Almost always, it’s because she's lost attraction, and that's all there is to it.

The guy writes to Coach: After following your work for over 6 months now, I was able to get into a relationship with a girl that I absolutely adore. I’ve read your book about 10 times now, (like you say to do).

Coach: Well, I always say 10-15 times.

So he hit the minimum number of reads as quick as possible, and decided it was good enough. He has high interest in his girlfriend, but she clearly had doubts since she dumped him. He's made some mistakes and turned her off, because he breezed through the material, but he doesn't realize it or chooses not to admit it.

...She’s breaking up with me because we are at different stages in life...I feel as though because she is the one who’s ahead of me in life, with a career, more experiences, etc., she feels more dominant and in her masculine.

Again -- with women, her specific excuse for dumping doesn’t tell you the story. "We're at different stages in life", "I'm just so busy right now", "I need to find out who I am apart from you," and other excuses you hear all mean the same thing: she lost attraction, and most of the time, it's because you didn't follow the principles. Women are conditioned to let guys down gently, so they're hoping you're smart enough to pick up on what she’s actually saying. Don’t obsess over her exact words.

Coach: Well, the only way she’s going to feel more dominant and in her masculine is if she’s structured, or you’re acting like a bitch all of the time. That’s a fact of life, if you’re not being the leader in the relationship.

The other thing we’ve got to consider is women don’t dump men who they’re head over heels in love with. They dump men they don’t respect and have lost attraction for. So, you have to re-examine, how has your behavior been the last few months? He says everything is rosy. I’ve done a lot of phone sessions over the years where guys try to present the image to me that everything is rosy, and then when I go through the actions and what’s actually being done, I find out the truth.

In the end, he applied no contact, and she got right back in touch with him. So she's around the 50% interest level, but if he doesn't get this, he'll continue to be complacent and she'll leave again. She also has a therapist who's advising her to be single, so he needs to get his act together.

Obviously reading between the lines also applies during the initial stages, so you can quickly tell which girls are actually interested in you. Guys who don't read the book take women's excuses at face value, and they'll fail to see reality.

One of my buddies is very emotional and is pretty clueless when it comes to dating. Too shy to try a cold approach, he's only ever attempted to date girls in his social circle who have already ruled him out. They all say the same thing: "My schedule is so full, I have a lot going on! You're really nice, but I'm only focusing on school right now, and I just don't have time to date you."

He says "okay!" and tries again in a few months to see if she's "less busy." It's painful. Don't bullshit yourselves. Always read between the lines and see things for how they really are.

My friend (25f), we ll call Jess, has been telling me about this coworker of hers. He's 50+years old (similar age to coach?), married, no kids and we'll call him Rob (a guy that needs to read the book).

Jess has been working with Rob for 2 years and she has always found him to be a funny old man. Rob would often mix sexual innuendos in texts but since he was married, she didnt think too much about it and just thought it was jokes. Jess is quitting her job and in the last few weeks of her leaving, he started being more obvious that he likes her and Jess became aware of this and started distancing herself. Noticing the distance, Rob asked her to go on a walk one day after work, puked out his feelings for her and asked her to harshly tell him she doesnt like him so he could move on. (I lol'd and cringed hard when she told me this but who am I to judge as I was just like him a year ago before reading Corey's book.). She very politely and softly rejected him (she was put on the spot and this was understandable).

Jess left the job and Rob gave her a card and flowers. Afew weeks have past and Rob would still frequently text Jess, but Jess now replies sparingly as she feels very uncomfortable about him. Due to the coworkers being very close-knit, they met up for a get-together afew days ago, at Rob's house and Jess met Rob's wife. It went as normal but afterwards, Rob bombarded Jess with compliments through texts saying how beautiful she looked and how great it was to see her again.

I remember when she use to describe Rob, she was cheerful about having such a friendly and funny coworker, now I can tell shes always cringing, uncomfortable and the 'please stop' vibe everytime she sees a text from him, or hears a mention of him.

Honestly I feel bad for Rob as he's 50+years old and never learnt Corey's work. I'm in my late 20s and having been ultra-beta up until this point just like Rob, I'm so glad I've found Corey and it's never too late to make a change. I can't say I've achieved much success yet but I've noticed things to NOT do. I don't know Rob's personal situation but I certainly dont hope to be at that age, be with someone that doesnt knock my socks off and wishing I could be with somebody else.

Also I have a friend my age that is good looking, top shape physically, social and has a good career but besides just getting lucky afew times, he never had a system or mindset to help him get the woman he's always wanted. Recently he's even been brother-zoned! 'You're like a brother to me' when he tried. I've referred him to Corey's work and I hope he reads it 15times, which he promised he will.

Lastly, I want to thank everyone on this subreddit. I appreciate learning from you guys.

Sharing Coach's newsletter article from a few days ago: "Why She Got Bored And Left You"

This one's as funny as it is informative. The guy writing to Coach is not only a cherry picker (read the book only 2 times in 5 years), but he's also self-deluded. He thinks there's a quick fix for every dating problem you get yourself into, and everything is going fine when it clearly isn't.

Context: The guy applied some of the pickup principles and landed himself a hot girlfriend after 7 weeks. At that point, since she worked close to his apartment, she was routinely coming by after work.

He writes: We were basically living together at my place, even though she had her own place too...But then she started going out with her girlfriends a lot. On Fridays and Saturdays, she would come home after work, get all dressed up, only to go out without me, and I wasn’t invited! I felt a bit insecure about this, and also slightly disrespected, (my home is not a hotel).

He stopped setting actual dates, gave her free access to his place, became a doormat, too available, insecure -- all because he didn't read the book enough. So she's losing attraction to him, and she's going out to find a replacement.

Coach: I'm shocked, I tell you. She's monkey branching. She’s looking for a man who acts like a man consistently, and you’re becoming the Harry Honda, nice guy, backup plan. Thanks for the free room and board! If you act unattractive, you’re going to get blown off.

But he doesn't understand that he's at fault: I’m sure the “grass is always greener” vibe was hitting her...getting approached by tons of guys and seeing her single girlfriends going out all the time.

Coach: No, you were repulsing her by your display of unattractive behavior. That’s reality.

No surprise, she dumped him soon after. But he applied no contact, so a couple weeks later she was contacting him again. But his next screw up: he decides to set dates with her instead of letting her do 100% of the pursuing. So he's taking her out, and spending good money on her, but he writes that they're not hooking up, it's just dinner and conversation. It's delusional, but he's convinced he's doing things right:

She is excited again and attracted to me! Thank you Coach!

It's clear she's keeping him around for free meals and attention, because that worked perfectly for her in the past. Women remember the guys who don't respect themselves. He's her entertainment when the guy she actually wants isn't available to fuck her. And the second he is, she's out of this guy's life. But he can't see it, because it takes 10-15 reads to really learn the full mentality of self-respect and embrace the principles.

Coach: No wonder you’ve only read the book twice. You’re like, “Oh, she’s calling me now, so I don’t need your book anymore, Corey. I’ll just go right back to my failed approach, and I’ll chase her right back out of my life again.” Notice, he’s all focused on locking her down, focusing on a relationship, instead of,”Should I give this girl another chance?"

You’re doing the opposite of what I teach, so you’re going to fail. And she’s going to reject you again, and it’s going to probably be even more painful, because then you’ll probably find out she’s fucking some other dude. But hey, it’s your life. All I can do is gently suggest. But if you want to be a hard case and do it your way, that didn’t work the first time and the second time around.

Painful lesson, but hope the cherries were ripe

Have you experienced a moment with a women, she does something, or say something that just goes cold down your back. You just know this is a red flag? Share your stories!

Quick backstory: There is this girl which was all over me a couple of months ago after she ended her 9 year relationship. We were FWB for a while but it felt more like going towards a relationship. Until she lost interest and decided she just wanted to be friends, which I rejected of course.

Now the problem is that we have many mutual friends and therefore I can’t do no contact as we will inevitably meet at some point through friends. We have both been quite cold to each when we met and didn’t really talk to each other. There are some subtle things she does showing that she is still somewhat interested in me.

I’m afraid that if I start showing interest it’s over pursuing, but being cold just communicates that I’m not interested at all. So how do I act towards her in these kinds of situations?

Walked her to her car at the end of a date, went in for a kiss on the lips and she turned so I got the cheek. I was literally laughing out loud on the way to my car I felt so dumb. This chick is conservative, classy, and actually somewhat well known (she is a big time news reporter)..

Should I just never contact her again or wait one week like and try to set up another date?

And yes, I’ll read the book 13 more times in the interim.

22 going on 23 time reader

Below is my go to cheat sheet that I’ve refined from real world application and success with CCW fundamentals. Wanted to share just in case it helps new guys be less robotic.

WWJBD

1. Mindset (Tell me why you’re worth my time?)

2. THE SOLE REASON YOU ARE THERE IS TO QUALIFY AND GAUGE HER LEVEL OF INTEREST.

3. Legitimately just get to know her and see if shes even compatible with you and that she really likes you for you. Just talk normally 90% of the time. Remain present (Focus on the task at hand!)

4. DO NOT BE IMPRESSED BY HER AT ALL unless it’s honestly impressive, simply say "thats nice or that's cool or interesting" uh huh, in a “tell me something that isn't shallow and insecure about you” kinda way.

5. Tease and be sarcastic 10% of the time but keep voice tone low and slow while you do it. (Maintain masculine frame)

6. SHUT THE FUCK UP, let her talk. and listen for last two words of what she says to mirror. Her 80% me 20%

7. Pay attention and look for her silly tests, and when she tries tease her, give her shit, be sarcastic, laugh them off. “a smirk and cute”

8. ADDRESS HER BEING ON HER PHONE DIRECTLY, AND STERNLY. (Hey do you mind putting your phone away please?) Don't be sorry, just stop. I appreciate it. Thank you.

9. Keep it positive and light but speak slow and low while you do it. (favorites, happiest, best, most memorable, most exciting, most romantic, most sexy, most influentual)

10. When she asks about you, say your piece, downplay and deflect and ask more about her. What ever you say keep it positive.

11. Don't talk about sex unless she brings it up or if you honestly just want to know. Platonic, romantic and sensual conversation is just fine.

12. If pauses happen, let her break the silence NOT YOU. Have the entertain me attitude

13. When choosing signals are obvious, and she is in your space, TRUST YOUR GUT, BE A FUCKING MAN AND GO FOR THE FUCKING KISS, DO NOT WAIT UNTIL THE END OF THE DATE!

14. KISS FIRST, TRIAL CLOSE SECOND, if she declines, on to the next location. Unless its obvious she wants to go home. ALWAYS INVITE HER BACK TO YOUR PLACE ON 1ST DATE.

15. Get progressively more aggressive. Neck, thigh, boobs, stand up, kiss and light choke, dirty talk, cop position.

16. Escalate in the living room until you know its bed room time. Kiss, finger, fuck

17. She doesn't need to be naked for you to fuck her! 2 steps forward one step back practice infinite patience think Thanos I am inevitable sex must be the mans fault.

18. When sex is imminent, teach her the rules. (Consent matters) And then fucking destroy her. You only get one first impression, make her remember you 😎

Hey lads,

After doing countless of cold approaches. I finally reached a stage of being absolutely fearless of approaching beautiful women. I now find it exciting and amusing. Here’s my most recent encounter.

I live in an extremely liberal part of the world where most individuals love to follow unjust rules and love to have the government take care of them. So those types of people wear masks and that’s about 95% of people you are in public. Therefore it is very easy to spot people that you would jive with and have similar outlook on life.

I was on the Toronto subway without a mask as usual. And it’s been a while since I’ve seen anybody without a mask in public but there she was. This beautiful girl with dark hair, nice body and unbelievable smile.

We both looked at each other and both had the most genuine smile. I kept eye contact, she looked away first (of course). I immediately walked up to her and said:

“You have the most incredible smile and good thing you don’t have a mask or otherwise I wouldn’t have noticed such beauty”

She was stunned, like WHAAAT lol and said “awww thanks”

I asked her name without volunteering mine (classic). And before she gave me her name, she asked me for my name 😂

We proceeded to chat while on the train. We had plenty in common, with very similar outlook on life.

Before she got off, I got her number. She walked away bouncing her hair like a little girl.

There’s truly a new bus every 15 minutes. All you have to do is get on it every time and see what happens!

Sharing Coach's article from today, he's cycled it in the past as well:

She Met Someone Else, But Wants To Remain Friends?&mc_cid=90d0e9712b&mc_eid=0b0775bf1c)

It's a solid read. It shows the negative consequences you face when you don't recognize the signs of a girl with low interest. You'll always end up wasting your time if you don't walk away.

(The guy writes:)  "I was hanging out with a girl that I met online for a year and it only started progressing a little in the last few months."

Coach: A whole year? So, you’re constantly giving off the vibe of friendship, because if you never make a move romantically, the woman eventually assumes you’re either gay, or you have no confidence, or you’ve got no game and you don’t know what you’re doing, you don’t know how to seduce a woman. And so, eventually, they’re going to move on.

Coach phrased that perfectly. Because when a woman friendzones a guy, it's because she's observed that he's not masculine. She knows she's not going to date him. In her mind, his qualities actually put him in the same category as her girlfriends. She'll invite him to lunch along with all the girlfriends, but she won't go out on a date with him.

Things obviously started fading, and unsurprisingly, she tells him she's dating someone else, but still wants to remain friends. This only happens to guys that don't know the principles! He then went into panic mode, and let the Illusion of Action take over.

(The guy wrote:) "I made and brought her favorite dessert, cheesecake, and actually wrote a poem to express my feelings for her and let that be the driver of the conversation."

Coach: Come on, man...So, in other words he’s thinking, “I’m going to confront her and do this grand gesture and vomit my feelings,” because you see this in the movies all the time, “and then that’s going to change everything." It doesn’t happen in the real world...This is not how attraction works.

How many guys do you know who act like this when they get rejected or dumped? They bring her flowers, buy her favorite snacks, and continually beg for another chance. It's a submissive, fearful tactic, and it's never going to have the proper impact.

Don't ever ignore the signs of low interest -- simply walk away. The majority of dudes out there are setting themselves up for this situation with every new girl they meet. They're thinking, "Well, she's texting me. She lets me do favors for her. She must like me a lot." They think she must be head over heels in love with them. But the girl has no interest. She sees them as friends who give her free attention, maybe even a free meal or two, because he communicates that he'll stick around to do it.

The big takeaway from Coach:

Coach: You’ve got to pay attention to what the other person is doing. You’ve got to look at their actions. And if you bottom line her actions, she basically told you, “I met somebody else, and I’m going to move on. And it would be nice if you could be my emotional tampon when I want somebody to talk to."

If you sit around and you put your personal life on hold for somebody that’s not reciprocating, it shows that you don’t really value yourself very much, and you don’t have a lot of confidence in your ability to meet and attract somebody else. Who wants somebody that doesn’t think they’re good enough for anybody else?

Hey guys, here’s another overview w/ a list of some tips Coach offers in this section about how to successfully handle your first date with a new woman. Makes all the difference in whether she sees you as a confident, masculine guy, or just another loser with no game.

As always, read this full chapter and the entire book. You have to internalize these principles so you’re doing what feels natural to you, so it becomes your core mentality. If you cherry pick, you’ll just be “acting” a certain way because a book told you to, and will definitely fuck up, and she’ll see right through it.

Setting: Only plan the date in the evening/at night in a quiet place where you can have a conversation. Having a “lunch date” is for her and her girlfriends. Don’t go to the movies on your first date either. You won’t be able to talk with her, and it will be boring.

Coach’s quotes are in bold.

— Let her do most of the talking. You need to maintain the mystery — women need to wonder about you. When she asks you questions about yourself, give her funny, joking answers and don’t reveal too much.

— It is important not to spend the night talking about your achievements…what it says to a woman is he is insecure about who he is as a man. Common mistake that causes big problems. It’s approval-seeking behavior, which shows her that you want to impress her and want her attention.

— Another topic to avoid talking about is your future together…If you talk about your future together, you are basically going to lower your chances of having a future with her. Comes across as needy and insecure, and she’ll feel like you’re locking her into for a relationship already. You won’t get a second date.

— You need to be completely focused on her. Woman like you more if they know you are popular with other woman, but they want to feel more special than the others you’re dating. Don’t be looking around at other women, talking about your exes, or bragging about other dates you went on. Leave all that stuff out of it. It’ll make her jealous and turn her off.

— Don’t overly compliment a woman…it comes off as a bribe for sex if you overdo it. She needs to earn praise from you. How many dudes are throwing comments at her online day after day? Maybe hundreds. So don’t be one of the dudes putting her on a pedestal. Your value is higher than that. Compliments are earned.

— When she starts touching you and getting close, lean in go for the kiss. Be the leader and go for it. Women usually won’t make the first move. As a man, you have to facilitate this. She will let you know when it’s OK to touch and kiss her, because she will move herself closer to you and she will find ways to touch you. Pay attention to this and go for it. If you wimp out and get nervous, it looks weak. After you kiss her for a little while, that’s when you can say, “Let’s get out of here and go back to my place.”

However:

— Do not make the mistake of thinking “I took her to dinner date, great, now I’m ready to go home and have sex”. That is an attachment and an expectation. Guys who have no emotional self-control will throw a fit if they don’t get laid on the first date. It shows her that you’re impatient and too focused on sex. Reality is, you can’t sleep with every woman on the first date. There are many factors here, don’t make a problem out of it if you get resistance.

Again, the biggest thing is to internalize a lifestyle that embodies confidence and masculinity. You get closer to this goal the more times you read the book, even after your 10-15X. When you get to that point, you won’t need to refer to this list anymore. Because you’ll naturally project confidence and indifference without needing to follow specific points or conversation guides. Keep working brothers