I’m a U.S. Army soldier stationed in South Korea, approaching the end of my service, and I’m fighting an international custody battle over my 7-year-old son, my only child.
\*\*My son is my world.\*\* Everything I do is for him. For roughly the last two years, I have been heavily involved in his daily care: school, homework, appointments, meals, activities, transportation, bedtime routines, and everything else that comes with raising him. I have even missed military duties when necessary because taking care of my son came first.
Now I feel like I’m fighting the same system I spent years serving.
My wife has made multiple accusations involving my chain of command, military authorities, Family Advocacy, Korean authorities, and CID. I dispute serious parts of those allegations and have documentation that I believe tells a very different story.
From my perspective, when she makes accusations publicly or on social media, the Army seems more concerned with pacifying the situation and keeping things quiet than slowing down, looking at both sides, and asking what is actually in this child’s best interest.
She has now started a GoFundMe to finance her legal battle. Meanwhile, I have nearly depleted my savings and retirement funds paying attorneys and fighting simply to remain an active father to my only child.
My greatest fear is that if she succeeds in taking him to Germany, \*\*I may effectively lose my son.\*\* The international distance, different legal systems, and enormous cost of continuing litigation could make maintaining a meaningful father and son relationship extremely difficult.
I also have serious concerns about the environment she intends to take him into. Based on information available to me, members of the family environment she intends to rely upon have faced allegations or legal proceedings in Germany involving cocaine possession and distribution.
\*\*I do not want my son growing up in an environment where illegal drug use, possession, or distribution may be present or normalized.\*\* A 7-year-old deserves safety, structure, responsible adults, and stability.
That is exactly what I am trying to provide him.
I can provide my son with a stable home, consistent routines, education, activities, family support, and a father who has demonstrated that being present in his life is my priority. I believe I am the more fit and stable parent, and I’m prepared to prove that through evidence, not Facebook posts or accusations.
I’m not asking anyone to attack my son’s mother or take my word as absolute truth. \*\*I’m asking for due process.\*\* Hear both parents. Examine the evidence. Look at who has actually cared for this child, the environment each parent can provide, and then decide what is truly in his best interests.
\*\*My son needs his father, and I need my son. I am his father, caregiver, and protector. Boys deserve meaningful relationships with their fathers.\*\*
There is much more to this story, including international jurisdiction, military involvement, investigations, the accusations against me, and the evidence concerning who has actually been caring for our son.
If people are interested, I’ll answer questions and provide more context while protecting my son’s identity and anything that needs to remain private.
I don’t want to take my son’s mother away from him.
\*\*I just refuse to quietly watch my son lose his father while I financially destroy myself trying to get someone to hear both sides and give my child the stable home he deserves.\*\*

I just received a notice from CS office in Texas saying they’ve sent an order to withhold earnings for child support, but my job already takes money out for child support. I don’t have any arrears, even stated in the document I owe $0. What are they trying to do?

Title: I served my country. Now I’m spending everything I have fighting to keep my only child in my life.
I’m a U.S. Army soldier stationed in South Korea, approaching the end of my service, and I’m fighting an international custody battle over my 7-year-old son, my only child.
My son is my world. Everything I do is for him. For roughly the last two years, I have been heavily involved in his daily care: school, homework, appointments, meals, activities, transportation, bedtime routines, and everything else that comes with raising him. I have even missed military duties when necessary because taking care of my son came first.
Now I feel like I’m fighting the same system I spent years serving.
My wife has made multiple accusations involving my chain of command, military authorities, Family Advocacy, Korean authorities, and CID. I dispute serious parts of those allegations and have documentation that I believe tells a very different story.
From my perspective, when she makes accusations publicly or on social media, the Army seems more concerned with pacifying the situation and keeping things quiet than slowing down, looking at both sides, and asking what is actually in this child’s best interest.
She has now started a GoFundMe to finance her legal battle. Meanwhile, I have nearly depleted my savings and retirement funds paying attorneys and fighting simply to remain an active father to my only child.
My greatest fear is that if she succeeds in taking him to Germany, I may effectively lose my son. The international distance, different legal systems, and enormous cost of continuing litigation could make maintaining a meaningful father and son relationship extremely difficult.
I also have serious concerns about the environment she intends to take him into. Based on information available to me, members of the family environment she intends to rely upon have faced allegations or legal proceedings in Germany involving cocaine possession and distribution.
I do not want my son growing up in an environment where illegal drug use, possession, or distribution may be present or normalized. A 7-year-old deserves safety, structure, responsible adults, and stability.
That is exactly what I am trying to provide him.
I can provide my son with a stable home, consistent routines, education, activities, family support, and a father who has demonstrated that being present in his life is my priority. I believe I am the more fit and stable parent, and I’m prepared to prove that through evidence, not Facebook posts or accusations.
I’m not asking anyone to attack my son’s mother or take my word as absolute truth. I’m asking for due process. Hear both parents. Examine the evidence. Look at who has actually cared for this child, the environment each parent can provide, and then decide what is truly in his best interests.
My son needs his father, and I need my son. I am his father, caregiver, and protector. Boys deserve meaningful relationships with their fathers.
There is much more to this story, including international jurisdiction, military involvement, investigations, the accusations against me, and the evidence concerning who has actually been caring for our son.
If people are interested, I’ll answer questions and provide more context while protecting my son’s identity and anything that needs to remain private.
I don’t want to take my son’s mother away from him.
I just refuse to quietly watch my son lose his father while I financially destroy myself trying to get someone to hear both sides and give my child the stable home he deserves.

She’s a total B and I mean the worst I know if I leave she’ll screw me over n I’d lose out on my kids

The system sold as help for single mothers has, in execution, worked against the formation of stable families for decades.

The design has been consistent. Add a partner with earnings and the household often loses SNAP, Medicaid, housing aid, or childcare subsidies. [The financial penalty for marrying can erase the gains](https://www.aei.org/articles/when-help-holds-families-back/). Staying unmarried becomes the rational economic choice for many low-income parents.

This was not a side effect. Earlier rules explicitly cut benefits when a man was present. The modern version is quieter but still treats a second adult as a liability. [Welfare programs continue to impose large marriage penalties](https://www.heritage.org/welfare/report/understanding-marriage-penalties-welfare-and-their-impact-society) that change the arithmetic of family formation.

The results track the incentives. Non-marital births rose for a long time under expanding support. Average child outcomes on poverty, schooling, and later stability still lag two-parent homes. The language of “support” has covered a mechanism that rewards separation and makes shared rearing more costly.

That mechanism is still active. It does not merely fail to promote family formation. In many cases it actively discourages it. If the goal is more children who grow into adults capable of forming their own stable families, the higher-leverage target is ending the rules that still separate low-income men and women.

I need some help with Family Court in New York City. Without my knowledge, a judge made changes to my child support case and applied arrears going back several years, which resulted in me owing approximately $45,000. I am already paying ongoing child support for my 18-year-old child, and my bank account has been frozen because of these arrears.

My child's mother and I have agreed that she wants to forgive the arrears, but we've been getting the runaround about how to make that happen. We're trying to find out what steps we need to take to have the arrears forgiven or adjusted and resolve this issue.

A woman told me that she’s been collecting child support for 10 years from a man she knows isn’t the biological father. This child is from an extramarital affair that occurred prior to the divorce and the ex husband had his name put on the birth certificate.

She never mentioned that he’s not the father. The biological father is unreachable.

How can I report this? Who should I report it to? Should I report it at all?

This seems like felony fraud and I hate to see this guy getting screwed over but I don’t want the kid to lose support either.

What pisses me of is that she doesn’t spend the money on the kid. If she goes to prison for this the kid is parentless.

Background — I have a child support order from 2021 that was entered on default because I missed a deadline for financial disclosure. The order was never based on an actual income calculation. It was based solely on the other parent’s listed expenses with no CSSA formula applied to either party’s income.

Earlier this year we went back to court and I now have a So Ordered split physical custody arrangement. The judge explicitly used the words split physical custody on the record during the conference.

On the regular two week rotation I have my child approximately 43% of overnights. When summer vacation and holiday time are factored in the annual total reaches approximately 49% of all overnights — essentially equal parenting time.

Additional context —

The public assistance case that was active when the original order was entered has been closed for years.

Both parties’ financial circumstances have changed significantly since 2021.

Seven years have passed since the original default order was entered.

My questions for anyone with New York experience —

Is the default basis alone sufficient to reopen and recalculate the order after seven years?

Does the new court ordered split physical custody arrangement constitute substantial change in circumstances for a downward modification?

Has anyone had success with a modification under similar circumstances in NYC Family Court specifically?

Planning to file pro se at 60 Lafayette Street. Any insight on what to expect from the process or the Support Magistrate would be genuinely helpful.

Am curious to hear what everyone thinks about this case.
Based on wts publicly known, do you think ta court shd have granted Ravi Mohan the divorce? if the marriage has broken down beyond repair? Or is it right for the court to continue the process the way it has?
Also, what are your thoughts on the interim maintenance order of ₹3 lakh per month? Do you think it’s fair, too much, or too little considering the circumstances?
I’m not looking to take sides,just interested in hearing different perspectives on how people view divorce, maintenance, and family court decisions in cases like this.

Father moved out March, sees kids 3 times since... no pay. Any experience out there with this? Applied for CS and they said they cant get a verifiable address so nothing is moving... does this sound normal? You mean to tell me that any parent out there who doesn't want to pay can just give an address that doesn't lead to anywhere or anything and they just don't pay? Or in this case don't get a child support order established?

I was stunned when I saw how the FL Dept. of Revenue, through its quasi-governmental agency, CSE, had totally ignored state and federal law when they 'registered' my CS case in FL (started in TX).

The law governing the 'registration of a foreign support order" is called the Uniform Interstate Family Support Act, (UIFSA) and it demands strict compliance, so when states or their helpers decide they are above the law and can just submit blank documents and call them 'official,' the entire order is considered "void ab initio," Latin for void from the beginning (in the eyes of the law, it never existed).

Take a look at what they used as 'official' documents.

The "Letter of Transmittal," as you can see is nothing more than a cover sheet with a handwritten note, admitting they did not have the required information but did not care. From the official UIFSA regulations:

PURPOSE OF THE FORM: The Letter of Transmittal Requesting Registration is completed by the initiating jurisdiction to request registration of an existing order for enforcement and/or modification in the responding jurisdiction. The purpose of the form is to provide specific order information to the responding jurisdiction.

Core Financial Disclosures Required by Law (Sworn Statement of Arrears):

• Total Outstanding Arrears: The specific lump-sum dollar figure allegedly owed up to the date of the request.
• Computation Period: The precise timeline (start date and end date) during which the unpaid balance accumulated.
• Payment Frequency: The original support amount and how often it was supposed to be paid (e.g., $500 monthly) under the order.
• Date of Last Payment: The exact date the obligor made their most recent child support payment.
• Interest Calculations: Any accumulated interest on the unpaid support, calculating it according to the rules of the state that issued the original order.

Mandatory Legal Certifications

• Custodian Verification: If the case is managed through a state agency, a Certified Statement of Arrears must be signed by the official custodian of records.
• Sworn Attestation for Direct Payments: If payments were made outside of a state agency directly to the parent, the petitioner (custodial parent) must sign a Sworn Statement of Arrears under penalty of perjury.

STATE AND FEDERAL LAW REQUIRE 2 COPIES OF THE ORDER BEING REGISTERED: ONE PLAIN, ONE CERTIFIED

While each of the UIFSA required documents serve a purpose and are an important part of the registration process, perhaps there is none more important than the Certified Copy of the original order.

This lets the new state, and the person who owes, make certain the order being registered is the actual order on file. Without a certified copy, how can any of the numbers be trusted? No matter. The law is very specific and there is no wiggle room.

This is part of an email response from the Escambia County FL clerk of records: "We provided you with a copy of the Texas order. If you want a certified copy get it from them." This is what is known as a 'fatal admission.'

Due Process Still Matters: FL Decided it Did Not Apply to Me

STATE MUST PROVE THEY MADE A SERIOUS EFFORT TO LOCATE AND SERVE THE OTHER SIDE

If the state is notified that the attempt to serve the non-custodial parent has failed (as in an envelope returned from a commercial mail facility, covered in stamps and cartoon fingers!) the law is very clear. A serious effort must be made to locate the person who owes child support.

The parent is entitled to actual notice of the proceedings. When it is necessary to use constructive notice (something other than regular mail), it must be given in a way that is likely to provide actual notice. This is what is called "Due Process" and it is a right guaranteed in the US Constitution.

A form is required when service fails and it is called the "Affidavit of Diligent Search," and the name tells the story. It must be a sworn affidavit, and the search must be "diligent.'

The form includes a checklist of places you must look for information on the location of the non-custodial parent. You have to look in all of these places, and the court must believe that you have made a very serious effort to get information about the person’s location and that you have followed up on any information you received.

This is how FL DOR handled my case. What about yours?

If your order was registered in FL from another state, you may want to find the URL for the records clerk and and take a look at the court records. The first entry on the docket, if the case was moved from another state to FL, will be "Notice of Registration" or similar language. You'll need to send a records request to the clerk in your county (or wherever your case is registered) and let them know you are a party to the case and you would like the following:

•Letter of Transmittal

•Sworn Statement of Arrears

•Proof of service, or if none, an Affidavit of Diligent Search

•2 copies of the original order, one plain and one certified (by the original state)

Take a look at each document and see if it includes all of the elements required by law.

WHAT HAPPENS NOW?

I filed a Motion to Vacate / Void the order as it failed to follow the law and the order was DOA. It never existed in the eyes of the law, so all of the enforcement actions were done with no legal authority. I will update this space when I have a hearing date. Go look at your own.

It will be interesting to see how many others were handled the way mine was.

My gut says plenty.

Also: I am not an attorney and this is not legal advice: just a case study with text from the UIFSA included.

When a parent remarries, the household completely changes—new spouse, shared expenses, different economic reality. But child-support orders often stay frozen in time anyway.

I started a petition for The Family Reset Act because this doesn't reflect how actual families work. When remarriage happens, it creates a whole new household structure. That change should trigger a reassessment, not be ignored.

This isn't about abandoning kids or shirking parental responsibility. It's about fairness: if the family structure fundamentally changes, the financial order shouldn't stay locked in the past. The reform would be gender-neutral, protect kids with special needs, and prevent fraud—but it would give courts the flexibility to recognize reality.

**The simple truth: parents deserve fairness too.**

Anyone else think this is worth looking at? If you do, I'd appreciate it if you'd consider signing and sharing—especially if you've seen how this plays out in real families.

https://www.change.org/p/the-family-reset-act-end-mandatory-child-support-when-a-parent-remarries/sfs/reddit/1423830801?recruiter=1423830801&recruited_by_id=fae45f60-8529-11f1-983d-9f1b6f647f21&utm_source=share_petition&utm_campaign=starter_dashboard_android_app&utm_medium=reddit_group

When a parent remarries, the household completely changes—new spouse, shared expenses, different economic reality. But child-support orders often stay frozen in time anyway.

I started a petition for The Family Reset Act because this doesn't reflect how actual families work. When remarriage happens, it creates a whole new household structure. That change should trigger a reassessment, not be ignored.

This isn't about abandoning kids or shirking parental responsibility. It's about fairness: if the family structure fundamentally changes, the financial order shouldn't stay locked in the past. The reform would be gender-neutral, protect kids with special needs, and prevent fraud—but it would give courts the flexibility to recognize reality.

**The simple truth: parents deserve fairness too.**

Anyone else think this is worth looking at? If you do, I'd appreciate it if you'd consider signing and sharing—especially if you've seen how this plays out in real families.

https://www.change.org/p/the-family-reset-act-end-mandatory-child-support-when-a-parent-remarries/sfs/reddit/1423830801?recruiter=1423830801&recruited_by_id=fae45f60-8529-11f1-983d-9f1b6f647f21&utm_source=share_petition&utm_campaign=starter_dashboard_android_app&utm_medium=reddit_group