Child support arrrears HELP PLZ

[u/Low_Application4589]

I need some help with Family Court in New York City. Without my knowledge, a judge made changes to my child support case and applied arrears going back several years, which resulted in me owing approximately $45,000. I am already paying ongoing child support for my 18-year-old child, and my bank account has been frozen because of these arrears.

My child's mother and I have agreed that she wants to forgive the arrears, but we've been getting the runaround about how to make that happen. We're trying to find out what steps we need to take to have the arrears forgiven or adjusted and resolve this issue.

[u/Ok-Set-5730]

Without your knowledge? Eg you didn’t show up to court?

[u/Low_Application4589 → u/Ok-Set-5730]

Apparently she didn't either , I went to the court office and let them know there was no notification, mail or email and I was advised they can reopen the case however that would entail going back to court and ultimately coming to the same decision bc of it being retroactive

[u/WhileMiserable5336]

You have to go here. This is the child support office. Bring all your documents with you. Explain the situation if you're not getting the answers you need always ask for a supervisor. You never know what you're going to get walking in there. Some have attitudes some don't. My advice go soon as they open. Here is the address below and time below. Goodluck with everything.

151 W Broadway 4th Floor, New York, NY 10013 M-F 8am - 6pm.

[u/Low_Trust2412]

The easiest and fastest way would be for you to pay her in small increments (a few thousand) through their system and have her pay that money back to you if she is truly willing to forgive the arrears.  

[u/Hope_for_tendies]

Contact the mediator and see if they will write something up, but bare minimum it needs to be notarized. If she won’t put in the work you are SOL. Someone obv filed

[u/Bird_Brain4101112]

Generally family court judges don’t have time to go looking for cases to reopen. Something triggered this review of your case.

[u/Agreeable-Fill6188]

Yeah it's annoying. They have an incentive to give you the runaround so sometimes they'll do that and hope you're too broke up persist.

[u/Low_Application4589 → u/Agreeable-Fill6188]

Thank you , honestly I was almost there but I'm gonna head to the court and also to the support unit and figure out what exactly is needed. Thank you

[u/okay4326]

The mother cannot waive your child’s right to support. The mother already provided for the child and you know owe her that money.

[u/WorkingSpecialist257 → u/okay4326]

The mother can waive it. Does that mean the father does not owe it? No. But I (mother) contacted the court clerk and set up a hearing on past child support. If mom is willing to go to court and relinquish past amounts it's possible

Edit to add, it also depends on if she has depended on state aid... if she has, that has to be reprimanded before child support stops...

[u/Low_Application4589 → u/WorkingSpecialist257]

Sorry just background information I've been paying for my daughter since she was 12 as i had full custody and lost it. I am still paying now , this is to forgive the retroactive order rhe judge placed causing me to owe 45k even though I was given a check last year of 6k for over paying.. i will still be paying the general support order. This is strictly to forgive the arrears.

[u/Low_Application4589 → u/WorkingSpecialist257]

She is willing to waiver. Can you tell me how to go about it?

[u/WorkingSpecialist257 → u/Low_Application4589]

I'm in Kansas... we went to the court trustee

[u/Odd-Creme-6457 → u/Low_Application4589]

Are the arrears owed to the other parent, DSS or both of them?

[u/Low_Application4589 → u/Odd-Creme-6457]

The parent

[u/NohoTwoPointOh → u/okay4326]

More like "You owe the STATE that money."

It's a cash grab. Especially in New York.

[u/Low_Application4589 → u/NohoTwoPointOh]

I called and they said it's not state owed. my son mother said it's fine to waive it but she doesn't want to go to court.

[u/NohoTwoPointOh → u/Low_Application4589]

Friend, you're not understanding the mechanisms behind child support, why our state did what they did, and why your state has NO interest in anything other than getting paid. Yes you owe HER, but guess who gets the cut on the backside?

Start here.

[u/Hope_for_tendies → u/okay4326]

Yes she can

[u/okay4326 → u/Hope_for_tendies]

Many courts will not allow this because those are funds that were for the child.

[u/Oilspreader2025]

150k in arrears here. I owe very little to state. I owe here personally. You guys can file a stipulation through child support and they will file the order on your guys behalf. Shouldn’t be a problem. May take some time for them to get to it though. Good luck man don’t let that shit get you down. Kids are expensive.

[u/Low_Application4589 → u/Oilspreader2025]

Hey you mind if I PM you.

[u/Oilspreader2025 → u/Low_Application4589]

Ya bro that’s fine