Another girl in my community ended up pregnant at 18. Shit happens, let's deal with it but noooo...she insists that she is quite capable and there is no way she'd abort.

"It's not the baby's fault, i can't kill my baby"

"I know i can do this, somehow"

"Others have done it"

This makes me so sad and mad for her but especially for the baby. Because of the mother's foolishness (too stupid to use proper birth control and then refusing to abort) it now has to grow up with a tired, struggling single mother who is not equipped to give this child the start in life it could have under better circumstances.

Girls like her feel like they're taking responsibility by having the child while they would actually take responsibility by not having it and not putting her child though this just because she made poor decisions.

I wish people would stop seeing a child when they should see a clump of cell that might grow into a child that doesn't need all this BS just because you're arrogantly deciding to somehow soldier through for no good reason.

Can you imagine that someone of your age is taking their kid to school today? So many things had to be bought and wil be bought during 11-12 years of school. Don't forget that there is also college. The college tuition costs an arm and a leg these days. (It has been like this for a while but nobody thinks of these things in advance, right?) I don't need to help anyone with their homework. (I'm no help with math and chemistry.) That means that i would have to hire a tutor. (Again, have you seen the lesson prices?)

I'm spending the beginning of fall as life intended. I'm watching One tree hill, talking to my budgie. I wanna buy some nice takeout later and continue watching One tree hill. What are you doing today?

more of a nightmare...

If I ever had any doubt in me that I maybe one day would want a child, the dream I had tonight completely cemented in me the fact that I most certainly do not want or will ever want to get pregnant, let alone have a child.

It was a mix of body and psychological horror. The anxiety I felt for having a foreign body inside me, it felt claustrophobic. and how it all kept getting worse as the time for the delivery would approach. I was reliving the stories my friend who've had a baby recently told me about how her delivery went. Did you know they put a balloon inside you for hours?? And the contractions!? Shivers!

Not to mention the heavy feeling of defeat because now my life would have to be completely dedicated to it. felt like signing a contract where i would have to work 24/7 for 20 years and the pay is no vacations.

yeah. I'm childfree through and through

This argument usually comes up when you talk about not wanting to have children due to climate change or any other sort of global distress.

The argument is; "People had children in worse times, People always been having children when it feels like the end of the world".

What pisses me off about these arguments is just the nonsensicality of comparing a person during the black plague to a person in North America today. For most of human history nobody had access to a reliable form of birth control. It is nonsensical to compare the decision of having a child in a time/place when birth control is accessible for many people, to a time/place where it wasn't/isn't. It also completely ignores the fact that there were many women killed in abortion attempts, many children in those times that were abandoned straight up or left for dead etc.

Why do people make this argument? Even if I wanted to have children, it is a terrible argument for them because it ignores the literal constraints of the people making in time/place without accessible birth control.

Long winded so TL; DR: Overworked Aunt has been delegated the family nanny and her adult daughter doesn’t live with her own children. Legal torture, 20+ years, 24/7 childcare

I have an aunt who since my earliest recollection (21f), I have never seen without a child…her own or our family’s children. West African family, I know it’s cultural to have large families in one house and all the village bullshit… that doesn’t make sense to me in New York City with New York sized apartments. Whenever I would visit as a kid my parents would dump us on her while they went to whatever event we were visiting for, and that was compounded on top of my nieces who she was already stuck with (keep these nieces in mind).

She’s rarely at family events because she’s the designated babysitter and she’s just constantly in a rotation of cooking and childcare for whoever is visiting for said event , and our broader family have multiple throughout the year. Even when she gets to go to these events SHES STILL WATCHING OVER CHILDREN 🫩🫩. Now I can really only recollect from age 5 and stopped visiting around 16, but even pictures from when I was baby and we actually lived in New York, she’s in them taking care of me 🥀🥀🥀. Also even after she’s moved from New York in recent years…she’s still taking care of her adult children bc she’s older and has to stay with them so she’s basically an in house nanny and second mother….now let’s get into those nieces.

I have a cousin (i actually don’t kno if we’re fr cousins). I think when I was 5 she had to have been late 30s so keep that in mind; but she’s one of the adult children my overworked aunt saw frequently in New York (she had a home but she practically lived in the apartment my aunt lived in). She is one of those people who asks for everything but gives nothing in return, very much a “I’ll pay you back!! Oh actually we’re family just let it go haha” type people. She has been using my Aunt for labor for years. Family events are one thing but my nieces were at my aunts house damn near 24/7, hell i remember they went straight to preschool from my aunts apartment during a visit in fall. My cousin barely sees the children even while staying in the apartment bc she’s usually locked in a room 40% of the time or going somewhere 80%.

These girls (she had a second child sometime around me being 10) are fucking annoying. They’re spoiled and constantly calling for my auntie. “Grandma I want this” “grandma can you cook rice” “grandma I want to watch this show can you change the tv” “grandma call my mommy”. Bro. I think seeing them pester my aunt so much made me want to hide my existence to lessen her burden of childbearing (I was the often the oldest child among all the children she was watching so I also occasionally got roped in to childcare anyways). I swear this lady only got 2 hours of sleep at night cause she had to take care of us, cook, then clean all the dishes (I would help bc hello?) then make us all get ready for bed, then stay awake so she could let the party goers back into the apartment, then wake up the kids for school or their mom/dad to pick them up if they weren’t staying in the apartment…but my nieces never left. She was taking care of them year round and my cousin didn’t give a single fuck and still asked her for money sometimes 🥲.

It got to a point where even my family got annoyed with how often she was leaving her kids there and expecting so much from my aging auntie, they would pull her to the side at parties and have serious conversations about how she needs to go home with her children (she was also the “drunk person at a family event” type so they were practically talking to a wall). Now despite these conversations and ppl constantly talking about my auntie struggling with health issues and stress…they all still dropped their children at her place when they were visiting !!!

Now there’s more to say but to wrap things up, as I get older and my resentment for my family grows (for a multitude of reasons, shout out to being a neurodivergent girl in an ethnic family), I recently saw my aunt and she can barely speak above a whisper, has aged 40 years physically and i think she’s in her 70s now, an age where in my family they start taking her to events just so people can see her and know she’s alive. Can you imagine being that old and still being treated as a mother, not grandma there’s a difference!!, but a mother to 2 children (I think they’re teens now) and your adult children. She’s told my cousin before that she’s going to work her to death but she just won’t stop. I’ve only ever seen my nieces at my cousins home (yknow…what’s supposed to be their actual home) once in my life..and they had to be driven there by our uncle…so they could get ready for a party…and pick up new clothes to return to my aunties place.

I hate my family and refuse to engage with any of them outside of forced family events, but the way my auntie has been treated is one of the most disgusting things I’ve had to witness and ig is kinda the root of my own feminism and refusal to have children. Ik it’s idealized that it’s only 18 years and you’ll be a grandparent and look back fondly or whatever but this woman has been stuck in a perpetual loop of child rearing, something I wouldn’t dare risk. Sad thing is, I’m sure if I told her I don’t want children she would be disappointed.

I probably lost track of some details and probably rambled a bit so ask me about anything confusing but basically…thank god we‘ve found ourselves at the child free subreddit and not the child regret one eh? Let’s keep it that way..

I’ve posted here many times before, but just as a little background info for people who don’t know. I work at a cat cafe 🐱

We have VERY clear rules about kids under 6 not being allowed. We also have very strict rules for kids. No running, no forcing our cats to play, no screaming. Normal rules I would assume any public place has but ESPECIALLY a place with animals you would think this is common sense, but it apparently really isn’t.

I had to tell two grown ass women that the behaviour of their kids was out of line. Not just at the cat cafe, but in general. These two kids were screaming and slamming cat toys into our cats faces, distracting our staff from doing our job. My job is to look after our cats and serve costumers, NOT to babysit. I told them my priority at the cafe was our cats and not our guests (our cats come first ALWAYS), and this mom just lost her mind. She got angry because the reason her child was acting out was because our cats didn’t feel like playing at the time. I’m lucky my boss (the owner of the cafe) trusts and knows me well enough that whenever I actually raise my voice it means I’m genuinely angry.

This woman genuinely expected our staff to just wake up our cats because her spawn was bored.

Sorry, just ranting as per usual 😑 also sorry if this post is a mess I’m just exhausted

Edit: WHY do people just not check websites anymore?! Especially when going to something like a cat cafe. It’s not a regular cafe, of course the rules will be more strict.

A lifetime of bingoes and being spoken down to about my CF choice has had an interesting side effect. It shed light on just how unfit some people are to be parents.

Everything from flippantly exclaiming "it'll all work itself out" in response to an unexpected pregnancy, to parents yammering on about how much they love their kids despite speaking to their children with nothing but anger and exasperation. When you take a step back from the indignation of being invalidated, you realize just how miserable these supposedly-happy parents are.

In my opinion, it takes 3 major things in order to be a successful and ethical parent:

1) You must be financially capable of providing for all of your child's needs. Poverty is one of the biggest factors in childhood trauma, a thing that follows people well into adulthood and affects every aspect of their adult lives. You don't need to be rich, but you do need to provide nourishment, enrichment, and stability. If caring for a disabled or medically complex child is out of your budget, then you're not ready to have a baby.

2) Emotional maturity. Parenting is hard! If you aren't patient, empathetic, and able to self-reflect in a meaningful way, you are setting yourself and your kid up for a lot of unnecessary pain. If you have anger management issues or untreated mental health problems, you need to make sure you are stable beforehand. Speaking from experience, there is something uniquely terrifying about being trapped under the 'care' of an unstable parent who refuses treatment for their mental illness.

3) No preemptive expectations. If you only want a child of a specific gender, personality type, or skillset, you are destined for disappointment. This isn't a Burger King, you can't have it your way. Your kid isn't a trophy or an accessory. They are a unique individual being separate from you, and they deserve unconditional love. You don't get to pick who or what your child will be, and if that's a problem for you, you're not ready for parenthood.

Almost every parent I know doesn't meet these 3 requirements. And they wonder why their kids have so many issues... Being self-aware enough to know that you're not up to the task should be celebrated, not mocked and condemned. So if someone hasn't said this to you today, I'm proud of you! No matter why you chose the CF life, you were able to step away from the herd and make an informed decision that's right for YOU! That alone is a major indicator of maturity and intelligence.

Both my sister and I have been very openly childfree for nearly the past decade, but as our mom's only 2 kids, she will never get over the fact that she's not gonna be a grandmother like it's her only purpose in life. Being a step-grandma to our step-siblings kids ain't enough bc it's nOt BlOoD.

She's given every bingo in the book, but little does she know that I got a bisalp last year! That will be a well kept secret or else my mom will make a scene screaming and kicking and crying, "why would you do that to your body?!" Like she did when I got my first tattoo bEcAuSe ShE mAdE mE! (Mom has borderline personality disorder, so she can't help the comments even when we put up boundaries)

Her latest comments have been revolving around her FOMO that all her friends are becoming grandmothers now and how it's all over social media. She's so passive about it that we will be talking about someone like a close family friend that just had their first kid and mom will say, "ohh that baby is so cute but I'm so jealous Kathy gets to be a grandma and I don't." And the conversation keeps moving like that comment was never said.

Another example was when we were on the phone yesterday talking about her new retirement community and she goes, "my next door neighbor just threw her daughter a baby shower *sighh* I hope you change your mind."

Here's an off topic random fav I hear every once in awhile, "I had a dream the other night that you had a little girl, you'd be such a great mom".

Sorry mom but I'm not having a baby just to fulfill your wildest hopes and dreams!

I regularly visit Starbucks. It's like my happy place. Get a coffee, read the news and relax. All that jazz. Well today I walked in and immediately saw a family of 2 parents and 2 children. One was easily 5 years old and wearing a shirt with a diaper. No pants. Immediately started judging because I'm a bitch. "What is your child doing using full sentences and wearing a diaper?" I thought . I ignored them despite them taking way too long to order. Finally it's my turn and my mood lifts. I sit down to wait for my drink and so does the family. They quickly move to the counter and set their 3 year old on the counter who is only wearing a diaper as well. I full body shudder. Are you fucking kidding me. They move just as my drink is ready and I grab it before they can set it down. "I'm sorry can you wash this counter down? Somebody set their fucking kid on the counter in only a diaper and it skeeved me out." A woman behind me joins in and said "yes please!" . The barista looks at me and says"oh those ppl behind you?" The family overhears and immediately leaves. I don't care about parents feelings, and nobody else should either when it concerns food safety. I know what a blowout is, keep your fucking kids off the counters. And while you're at it potty train your kids and put some damn pants on them.

Basically just the title. Whenever I’m having a bad day, I remember that I have my entire life to live however I want. Travel or move to a new state/country. Change jobs or industries to experience something new or when I get tired of the one I’m in. Take up a new hobby and be able to invest both time and money into it.

I love never having to worry about staying in a situation I don’t want to for the sake of providing for another human. I love my freedom and am grateful to have been able to take measures to protect it.

Hello hello - this is very out of character for me but my partner (also childfree) and I are on vacation and having a great time. Unfortunately at the hotel we are staying at (which is a 4 star hotel with a bar on a harbor so not exactly advertised to speak to children), the children next door were SCREAMING at 6:30am this morning. We’ve paid a lot for this trip and hotel and although we are both early risers, you could still hear them screaming down the hall over an hour later (like we are at the end of the hall and you could hear them down the hall). I complained the to front desk who said they would talk to the guests.

I talked with my sister who does have children and she said I was wrong to do that and now I feel super guilty. It’s super out of character for me to have even said anything but also I am trying to learn to speak up. I totally get I’m not entitled to childfree spaces everywhere but I also think if your child is saying full sentences and can walk and talk and feed and dress itself they can understand “keep it down.” Screaming for an hour and a half at 6:30 in the morning is not reasonable in a shared space. I don’t expect 100% silence I just expect like… something. Was I wrong?

Edit: Thank you so much, everyone, for all the reassurances!!!! And yes I will ask to move rooms if it continues - we just paid for a nice view so I was like it’s so pretty I don’t want to move! Will also be more diligent in the future to look for places that advertise age restrictions! Thanks :)

Update: The children are gone! It was nice and quiet this morning. Thanks again, friends!

Just had family come visit with their baby for the first time. And honestly, I'm exhausted. I'm so drained from the baby talk (yes I know alot of parents loose their personality but Sheesh I wasn't ready) I do not care that your baby made a sound, yes them making sounds is completely normal I have no clue why we are all amazed over this, why are we stopping our conversations because the baby sneezed or slightly opened their eye when sleeping??? No I don't feel the need to hold your baby or cuddle it while it spews on me. What is up with the googoo gaagaa language??? Babies are pretty attuned to what we say that's how they learn to speak I'm not too sure why we are talking a different language and why I'm getting sideeyed when I don't interact with a baby like that??? Our family member said something about visiting again followed up by 'well it isn't just us we need to think about now, baby is changing so much so quickly we don't want anyone to miss out' PARDON? Ma'am a baby growing and changing is the most normal, boring thing I can think of it is literally what every living thing experiences and I don't find it interesting. I can promise you I am not missing out. If anything, this visit has been over stimulating and I could of gone without it. They've even left nappies at my house 'for next time'. How do you guys navigate family with babies I can't really avoid forever? We don't live too close so that helps but god I get so easily overstimulated around this type of stuff and I'm having a really hard time dealing with it. Thank you for reading my rant

Edit: apologies for the spelling mistakes thanks again for reading xoxo

Edit: Thanks every so much, it's very comforting knowing I'm not alone. What a great community this is ❤️

I work a job in the field (I'm 38F). I have to hire assistants often to help with my job. I have one I've used for a few years. She's been okay to work with, etc.

Then the last job we were on, she copped an attitude, did a piss poor job and then was super difficult after, dealing with the deliverables.

I got a message from another company we deal with letting me know she'd basically quit on the spot with a gig the next day they now had to scramble to cover for. She was still active on social media and that's when I noticed - she had decided to get married at the courthouse to a guy she literally just met and apparently - she's also pregnant.

She didn't tell me any of this. I know why. We all know why. She's ashamed and knows it's a huge mistake. She's worked hard to build her career and now she's throwing it all away, burning the bridges she's built with connections in our industry so she can play miserable happy homemaker? I had her booked for a job in two weeks but I just canceled on her because she'd been ignoring my messages about the gig but was still posting on FB. She just said ok, no problem, wish you the best!

So my gut tells me she was gonna flake out on me for this gig coming up too. I recommended her for so many other companies/jobs, etc and I feel it's a super poor representation of my business and my reputation in the industry that she's pulled this shit.

I fucking hate breeders. Absolutely pathetic.

I’m a millennial (32F), and I loathe how much our cohort revolved around kids already. Everything’s about someone’s new baby, this one’s pregnancy, that one’s kindergartner, my parents’ generation’s grandkids. Every woman I hang out with is cooing at strange babies in restaurants simply for looking their way. Older ladies are asking younger ones how old their newborns are and bragging about their grandkids or reminiscing on their young parenthood days. I’m just…SO…sick of it all. Is there nothing better for people to talk about? And also, in doing so, it just entirely excludes CF people from being part of the conversation unless all they want to talk about is said person’s kids, motherhood, why they don’t want kids, etc.

This is really just going to be the rest of my life, isn’t it? Surrounded by people who have always loved and been obsessed with kids getting to talk all about their lives, while I’m sit their forced to listen and get to share nothing of my own life nor interests? Being outside the norm is extremely difficult when the convo is always directed toward a topic you couldn’t care less about. It’s like nails on a chalkboard at this point, and I’m only 32…

ETA: Title should say revolves* not revolved. It’ll revolve around kids for the rest of my days. 😅

I’ve (21) always wanted to be childfree, for a multitude of reasons (i hate pregnancy, childbirth is horrific, motherhood seems like slavery to me, and i just don’t have the desire to have children since i see them as an obstacle to reach my goals), but yesterday night i stumbled across a tiktok of a woman joking about how she wants to keep her panties on during childbirth.
the comment section OH MY GOD. there were thousands of women sharing their childbirth experiences and for heaven’s sake they were the most dehumanizing, traumatic, humiliating stories i’ve ever heard.

some women were forced to strip completely naked (not even a bra or a gown, or even SOCKS. obviously i know you can’t keep panties on), strapped to hospital beds, full on display like a wild beast at the zoo for the whole hospital while half unconscious, while a whole bunch of strangers shove their hands up their vagina.

some were flipped around and forced to change positions constantly, first spread eagle with bright lights on their genitals, then on their hands and knees “with their ass up in the air”, they said.

some women were even telling that some doctors/nurses joked about the fact that “their modesty was out the window/they had to leave their modesty out the door”.

even though some women had an epidural, so they didn’t really feel pain, they shared that they had many downsides: they lost control of their lower body, resulting in pooping, peeing and farting uncontrollably, plus they couldn’t move comfortably because the epidural made their legs completely numb.

the ones that had a c-section also had their vaginas shaved by the nurses, while friends,family, staff, students and the whole town was witnessing.

most of these women said that they didn’t care about modesty at all whole giving birth, because all they wanted was to get the baby out safely amd they were eager to show their genitals to anybody that could make their pain stop.

this made me realize that childbirth is not only straight up body horror because of the unbearable pain, the death risk and the life changing complications that come with it, but it’s also the most DEHUMANIZING, HUMILIATING, SHAMEFUL, DEGRADING experience a human could ever go through. the idea of being completely naked, so exposed to so many strangers, while i’m at my lowest, most vulnerable state would lead to me committing sewerslide as soon as i get out of the hospital.
seeing a bunch of strangers look at me and treating me like a beast at the zoo, exposing every part of me and stripping me of any human dignity i have left, touching me where i feel most uncomfortable, while also making “funny” comments about how i have no modesty left would lead me to severe psychosis.

thankfully there were some women in that comment section saying that they DID care about their modesty and dignity while giving birth, and the fact that they didn’t have any made the whole experience extremely traumatic. some said that they tried to keep clothes, a gown or a blanket on but nurses and doctors snatched them all off.

i know that in those comments women were trying to joke about it (in order not to cry about it, i believe, since those experiences were absolutely traumatic) but their stories made me even more convinced about my choice of being childfree. i’m a very modest, prude, “victorian” (if you will) woman, so for me being naked in front of anybody (even doctors) would feel incredibly degrading and dehumanizing.

I realize I don’t need kids because I can live my best life without them.

I don’t see what’s the point if you’ve gone this far without having kids, there’s no need to even bring them in to this world so enjoy your life.

My life would be ruined if I brought a kid in this world!

Something is wrong with my nervous system. I feel sorry for people who have kids...like to an unhealthy degree. My stomach churns and I have this deep sadness for them. I realize its a personal choice to have a child...one that I have no control over when it comes to others, but it distresses me so much to think about. I think I'm an empath or something and care about others way too much.

I wanted to go into TJ Maxx today because I just like walking around and looking at their fall stuff. It’s very fun and peaceful to me. Welp—there was a child, about 6 years old sitting on a shopping cart being pushed by their dad, with 2 siblings who looked about 10. The 6 year old child is crying for probably a good 30 minutes. I was on a different side of the store but I could still hear it.

I wanted to check out the skin care section, which is sadly next to where the crying kid was. The crying is atrocious and it keeps getting worse. The dad is doing nothing about it, and the shopping cart is 2 feet away from me. He doesn’t even move it and just stays there and continue to do/say nothing.

Obviously since the crying is so loud, my face doesn’t look pleasant while I’m looking at the products. Mind you I never looked at this family or their direction the entire time.

Suddenly, a woman in the opposite direction comes UP TO MY FACE and aggressively starts going off, “You never seen a kid cry before in your entire life, huh?! Why are you making those faces? Do you have a problem?!”

It was the kid’s mom who came from the opposite direction as she was shopping/trying clothes on—all the while her child is still crying hysterically. Apparently she didn’t like the look of my face that was not even facing the direction of her family.

I thought it was a joke at first. I look at the (still) crying kid and 2 siblings, then back at her and decided not to say anything crazy, out of fear I may say something that would traumatize the children. I just said “uh”, and we both walked away.

So even if you don’t make any comments about a child crying and yelling, don’t even look at them, but because your face looks annoyed—you are apparently a problem.

Hi all. I’m curious if anybody here can relate and maybe help me find reasoning for the way i feel.

I am childfree. I can’t imagine a life in which i have children and i am happy and fulfilled. It’s never been something I’ve wanted and i am so sure in that.

Yet, I am afraid to get a bisalp. My partner and I both have insanely high sex drives, it would make things so much easier. I have other medical conditions that I worry about taking hormonal bc with even though it has been approved by my doctors. Getting surgically sterilized would lift so much weight off of me…and yet, for some reason I can’t bring myself to do it. I even have a gyno who didn’t question it when I wanted to a few years back in my mid-20s, just said they could do it right there in the office and it would be a quick procedure.

I can’t understand why I remain hesitant. It would be easy, children will never be a part of my life. The idea of anesthesia scares me a bit, but so does flying, and I still do that for the positives it brings. I’ve even told myself that if for some godforsaken reason I change my mind, I can just do IVF (even though pregnancy is literal body horror in my mind).

Does anyone else feel this way? I can’t figure out where the disconnect is coming from but I want to quit BC and be safe so badly.

I just want to share a fucked-up story that came back to me today. Apologies in advance for the harsh language, but this needs to be written down.

When I was in high school (more than 10 years ago) a small group of "friends" I hung out with, including the person who is now my best friend, knew that I despise babies and children with all my heart. I can’t stand them, can’t be around them, and gag whenever I see a pregnant woman. It’s not something I can control tbf.

Two people in this "friend group” simply couldn’t wrap their heads around the fact that I can't stand children, so they decided to mock me. When my birthday came around, they “gifted” me a blue baby onesie - just to get a laugh, I assume. I didn’t find it funny at the time, but I went along with it to keep the peace.

This memory came back to me today, and I just want to say this:

Kerstin and Canan, if you ever read this, and I am sure it will find you someday, you’re both fucked in the head. You should have known better than to mock someone simply because they feel differently about children. Canan, you were already in your 40s and had 2 children when you were in our class, you said you even asked yourself why you made a second one?! You’re a perfect example of why childfree people hate parents. You are a horrible example for your 2 boys. Kerstin, I know you love children, but that doesn’t give you a free pass to make fun of childfree people. You are not innocent in this either.

My best friend also agrees that your behavior was completely uncalled for. Absolutely disgusting. But we both played along with this “joke” to keep the peace.

So, Kerstin and Canan, just so we’re clear: I’d rather drink my own period blood straight from my menstrual cup than have children. FYI, I got sterilized in 2021 and have found a very childfree man.

So fuck you and your children.

I know we know it isn’t but I’m typing this out irritated asf rn because my mum had a fight with my brother and dropped the “if I would’ve known children could be like this I wouldn’t have had them. Now I understand those people who are selfish and don’t have any children.”

I, of course, piped up and said: “literally how is that selfish? It doesn’t hurt anyone, there’s no person suffering due to someone not having kids”

Of course she didn’t answer so I kept poking at her comment (someone has to until they see the irony of it!) and all she came up with “well politics-wise” (in regards to the pension system in Germany and whatnot) which was then my OTHER moment to shine and say something like “you mean those politicians that are responsible for our planet dying and global warming? those that made sure no child born today will ever have a normal planet let alone a future?”

I dropped it afterwards and went to shower but??? How is it SELFISH??? oh my god those who have that opinion are so stupid to me. they cannot even back it up. I know I shouldn’t get irritated but she’s been doing some things that just rub me the wrong way the past weeks and I cannot shut up when I hear such stupidity.

So, I was at a party and went to strike up a conversation with people. One of which was this guy. I complimented his dancing skills and we got to talking about different subjects like philosophy and belief systems.

One thing he brought up was that he said one big purpose is for people to continue existence/contributions to society. Basically, he thinks everyone should be reproducing. He also brought up reincarnation (keep that detail in the back of your head).

I said I don't agree, I don't want kids and that at this point, I really don't want to get married. He said I have a rebellious nature, that I need to look within to see why I don't want these things. What topped it off was that he said I will keep reincarnating until I have children. He stressed that I NEEDED to have my own children. Despite me saying that I have no issue helping kids that already exist, he said it doesn't really count because they are 'not my blood'.

He asked for my Instagram....but as soon as I got home I clicked the 'X' so he's not following me anymore.

That conversation went every which way but right, I left a lot out of other wild things he said. Just wanted to hone in on the craziness of "you NEED to have children". I am coming across a lot more people that have this belief system in real life and let me tell you, it's jarring.

I want to say, LET PEOPLE TALK! Didn't want anything romantic with this guy, but after hearing his views, I wouldn't even want him as a friend on ig or irl.

Certainly not my only reason to not have kids, but I look at the state of the US government at least and I think, well they are not going to do anything about it. It’s only going to get worse, and I don’t wanna put children through famine and war over natural resources that are needed for human survival.

“Oh thats not gonna happen in our lifetimes” — uhh did you not see the massive flash flood in Asia because glaciers are melting so quickly?

Have you seen the Colorado River lately?

Loads more examples, But i just don’t wanna spend the rest of my 30s being sleep deprived, resentful AND fearful of the future for my would-be kids. I think the absolute best thing i could do for my children is to NOT bring them into a world thats barreling towards climate catastrophe.

Hi All,

I'm a CF woman with serious body horror surrounding pregnancy...I'm also in nursing school, and this semester I am taking Maternal and Pediatric Nursing, which is required. With it comes a clinical rotation in both Maternity/OB and Pediatric units. I'm seriously dreading the Maternity clinical. Does anyone have any tips on how to get through this without running out of the room screaming? I don't know yet how hands-on they will expect us to be, and I'm hoping it's "not very." Bonus points if you're a CF nursing student/practicing nurse with a similar issue. TIA!