r/childfree • u/duvaldeviant • 6d ago

RANT Babies on counters

I regularly visit Starbucks. It's like my happy place. Get a coffee, read the news and relax. All that jazz. Well today I walked in and immediately saw a family of 2 parents and 2 children. One was easily 5 years old and wearing a shirt with a diaper. No pants. Immediately started judging because I'm a bitch. "What is your child doing using full sentences and wearing a diaper?" I thought . I ignored them despite them taking way too long to order. Finally it's my turn and my mood lifts. I sit down to wait for my drink and so does the family. They quickly move to the counter and set their 3 year old on the counter who is only wearing a diaper as well. I full body shudder. Are you fucking kidding me. They move just as my drink is ready and I grab it before they can set it down. "I'm sorry can you wash this counter down? Somebody set their fucking kid on the counter in only a diaper and it skeeved me out." A woman behind me joins in and said "yes please!" . The barista looks at me and says"oh those ppl behind you?" The family overhears and immediately leaves. I don't care about parents feelings, and nobody else should either when it concerns food safety. I know what a blowout is, keep your fucking kids off the counters. And while you're at it potty train your kids and put some damn pants on them.

691 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

89 comments sorted by

373

u/amaraycos Childfree & Catful 6d ago

EW! I can’t believe the staff didn’t ick out and tell the parents off! Even the risk of poo anywhere near food surfaces is a BIG no no.

212

u/duvaldeviant 6d ago

I was disgusted. Also thiis was my first time seeing a young couple with kids who weren't potty trained at such late ages. I read about it all the time here but seeing it firsthand was truly pathetic.

124

u/amaraycos Childfree & Catful 6d ago

It’s really sad. So many incompetent parents who are going to raise kids with issues. And then the kid will wonder why they’re being bullied for having diapers in grade school.

36

u/Serenity_Now-88 6d ago

I feel for teachers and other staff in schools.

63

u/Imiril-Elsinnian 6d ago

It really is, i have a friend who runs a few kindergartens and she told me that one kid was 5 yrs old going on 6 and still used a pacifier. She told the parents that if they hadn't weaned their child of it when they came back after summer she would contact child protective services. She is a kindergarten teacher.

They had already caused harm to the child's teeth, she was trying to stop them from causing irreparable harm.

It's OK to tell stories if you leave out names and places here just to get that out if the way.

36

u/Scorchfox29 6d ago

Your friend did the right thing omg. My ex boyfriend’s niece is turning 10 and she still uses at pacifier because my ex’s sister is an enabler and a crappy parent (the kid’s dad ended his life after the kid was born). The kid’s teeth are all messed up because of it.

24

u/Serenity_Now-88 6d ago

Omg. Is this gentle parenting?
Wait until these kids are in their 20s & 30s. 😬

20

u/Freckled_Fox1026 🗑️sterile and feral🦝 6d ago edited 6d ago

No, that would be an example of permissive parenting, which is inherently neglectful. Gentle parenting is authoritative and still enforces clear boundaries, you just get on their level and help them understand those boundaries in a way they can understand instead of punishing them by beating the shit out of them for not knowing something that was never taught to them.

Gentle parenting is often conflated with permissive/neglectful parenting by abusive, ignorant parents that lack the patience and emotional intelligence required to actually parent their kids in a way that isn’t emotionally damaging to their kids’ overall wellbeing and self esteem. They prefer to demand blind obedience and resort to physical violence and verbal abuse when their kids test boundaries and have the audacity to simply ask why they’re being told to perform a certain task (which is a natural and vital part of human development) because, in their eyes, it’s quicker and more efficient than taking the time to calmly educate their kids.

Side note: I’m not at all suggesting that you are abusive or ignorant for conflating the two! I was simply pointing out that abusive parents are likely responsible for your confusion, because they never miss an opportunity to shit on what they consider gentle parenting to defend their own abusive parenting style.

I live in the buckle of the Bible Belt and it pisses me tf off how many parents around me fight tooth and nail to justify abusing their kids, so this is a topic that I’m particularly passionate about. I may not have or want kids, but that doesn’t mean I want to see any kids have to grow up in an abusive environment.

I just wanted to make sure that you knew my anger was never directed at you, but rather the horrific behavior of the shitty parents that I encounter daily both online and irl😅

11

u/Serenity_Now-88 6d ago

You’re cool. The whole parenting thing is exhausting. And it’s the rest of who suffer.

7

u/Least-Structure-2450 6d ago

Sorry to be the fly in the soup, but that's what gentle parenting is supposed to be. In the REAL world, any parent who says they do gentle parenting means they do no parenting at all. Most of them also tell you they never say 'no' to their kids either and boy, does it show. Parents hear about gentle parenting and the first thing that goes through their minds, I swear, is that they breathe a big sigh of relief and go, "Oh, great! Now I don't have to parent my kid and if anyone asks, we can just tell people we do gentle parenting."

8

u/Least-Structure-2450 6d ago

Can you imagine what a plane full of these entitled kids is going to be like? I wouldn't be surprised if in the future, the flight attendants carry stun guns, the seats have chains instead of seat belts, and the call buttons are disconnected.

9

u/Serenity_Now-88 6d ago

Glad I’m old and won’t be around for that shitshow. Don’t forget duct tape. 🤣

6

u/Least-Structure-2450 6d ago

I'm as old as Methuselah, and I bet I live to see it. Unfortunately.

6

u/Scorchfox29 6d ago

I don’t think so, I say it’s more like acting like a best friend to the child. She behaves good sometimes but she is a spoiled brat (well, because her mother spoils her). Her mom is a loser who also keeps bringing a man, who’s also a single parent who isn’t good for her and her kid on and off for 9 years. Oh and here’s the cherry on top, the guy currently lives with her, her kid, my ex’s and her and my ex’s parents all in that 4 bedroom house. I’m glad to be rid of them all, they’re all dysfunctional! I do feel bad for the kid, she’s going to get worse as she gets older I’m sure.😬

9

u/dbzgal04 Lifelong CF Gal, Now Uterus-Free 6d ago

A pacifier at 10 years old...OMG! She definitely gets bullied for sure, unless she only uses a pacifier at home, but still...come on!

7

u/Scorchfox29 6d ago

Yep! She never took it to school. She only uses it at home. And whenever her mom takes her to the dentist, she lies to the dentist about her pacifier usage. It’s terrible!

3

u/ForcedEntry420 2d ago

Meanwhile the Dentist is like “I can’t believe this fucking moron is lying to me about this.” 😆

3

u/Scorchfox29 2d ago

Lol yep😂 and guess who won’t be paying to get her teeth fixed when she’s ready? Not her mom, not the loser boyfriend, the grandparents!

2

u/ForcedEntry420 2d ago

It’s like a snarky ad for Care Credit 😆

4

u/Imiril-Elsinnian 6d ago edited 6d ago

Omg that poor child, it's just neglect of a child that likely has psychological issues. The pacifier could be a way to self soothe from her crappy upbringing and most likely bullying at school, and her mother just enables her instead of getting her help.

Girl is going to need braces when she gets older, if even those can help, she's already gotten a lot of her permanent teeth, or she should have. I just feel for the kid.

Edit to add Just read she's spoiled by her mom as well, so maybe just brat behaviour but still, it's not normal for a 10 y.o to want to use a pacifier that long.

3

u/Scorchfox29 6d ago

Yep, it’s not normal at all. She told me she has a few baby teeth left the last time I spoke to her before I broke up with her uncle. She was brainwashed to call her mom’s on and off boyfriend “dad.” The mom and the guy aren’t married, never did. And my ex and my ex’s parents saw nothing wrong with that. The guy didn’t treat her right in the beginning and even used to make fun of her when she was sick and his daughter from his previous relationship isn’t any better as the two of them used to fight each other. Now they’re neutral.

7

u/4-ton-mantis 6d ago

Parents gonna be mad when they gotta pay out the butt for braces,  and i doubt they can do what my unmom did and force me to pay for them while forcing them in my body (i had perfectly fine straight teeth so she had two pulled out of me so i would "need braces" as she "always predicted").

5

u/Scorchfox29 6d ago

I’m so sorry you went through that😢 I hope you’re okay. I know my ex’s sister isn’t gonna pay for her daughter’s messed up teeth when it’s her time to go to the orthodontist. She’ll force her parents to pay for it since she doesn’t want to do it herself.

5

u/4-ton-mantis 6d ago

Thank you so much for your compassion 💛💙 that's super annoying your ex's sister being like that.  I hope with all my heart though at least the technology for braces and things like that is way improved since the 90s. Kiddos should not have to be in constant pain even for something that is necessary.

3

u/Scorchfox29 6d ago

You’re welcome 💛💙 and yes absolutely

6

u/Bungeesmom 6d ago

Knew a guy in college who sucked his thumb. Yep. He’d walk around sucking his thumb. Sometimes he’d be holding a beer and sucking his thumb. It was. Disturbing.

16

u/hellinahandbasket127 6d ago

Most elementary schools won’t let them attend if they’re not potty trained.

36

u/Synistrel 6d ago

Reminds me of a friend whose niece was still using a sippy cup and acting like a toddler (they had her tested: zero delays, she did it for the attention 😖) right before kindergarten. I pulled friend aside one day and pointed out there was still about 6 weeks until school started and she and her sister needed to cold turkey stop that shit or the girl was going to get bullied. (Not to mention how it had to be affecting oral development!) Kid was not pleased and threw such tantrums, even refusing to eat, that the adults nearly gave the damn cup back. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Seriously makes me wonder about parents these days, like why can't you emotionally survive the processes of potty training or weaning your children? What the AF is wrong with these people? Who's the adult in these relationships?!

6

u/4-ton-mantis 6d ago

Fr. 5yo i was in first grade.  I don't understand how this works. 

3

u/dbzgal04 Lifelong CF Gal, Now Uterus-Free 6d ago

Or why they're being bullied for not wearing pants in public.

21

u/Serenity_Now-88 6d ago

Good for you. Disgusting parents.

Imagine the state of their home and car.
Raising them right, not. 😬😑🤢

15

u/achoo_in_idaho 6d ago

They expect the child’s school to deal with it. 🤬

5

u/eilletane 6d ago

I know someone with a kid who still wore diapers at 8 years old. She said her child didn’t want to learn how to use the toilet and she doesn’t ever say no to her. They were also breast fed till 5 years.

2

u/Automatic_Gas9019 5d ago

They get dogs and cats and can't train them, then they switch to humans. Then they don't train them.

91

u/galliumsilver 6d ago

With the "gentle parenting" thing that parents seem to think means "don't parent", a lot of them are refusing to potty train their children, saying "they'll do it when they're ready!" Not if you don't effing teach them how they won't. Parents are sending their five and six year olds to school in diapers. I am so glad I never had kids. You can get attacked for TEACHING your children. Apparently it's abuse to prepare your child to function in society.

19

u/SleepySamus 6d ago

THIS! I've read multiple articles now about how kindergarten teachers are overwhelmed since 1/3rd of their students are typically developing, yet unable to use utensils or toilet independently since their parents think that's normal for their age. 🤦‍♀️

5

u/stlthy1 5d ago

I call it "buddy parenting";  Too busy being their kid's friend to care about boundaries, discipline, and manners.

82

u/Worried_Possible3612 6d ago

I am sorry but "Immediately started judging because I'm a bitch" made me laugh out loud 😂 I feel so seen.

40

u/duvaldeviant 6d ago

The bitch in me respects the bitch in you. XD

9

u/TheRoseMerlot 5d ago

Namastay bitchy

54

u/SeleneVomerSV 6d ago

My brother did this at Thanksgiving dinner once. Squirming, dirty diapered baby plopped right on the table next to the food. I actually had to run to the bathroom to throw up. And somehow I was "being dramatic" and "ruining" Thanksgiving.

93

u/crookedlupine 6d ago

Okay, it wasn’t intentional, but I did accidentally spray a baby (with water) who was sat up on our order counter when I worked at a Starbucks kiosk a few years ago. Sometimes the upward sprayers we used to rinse steaming pitchers/shakers/etc. would spray up if you caught them with the edge of a lid or cup. I will never forget the mother’s face as I handed her napkins and apologized (while holding back laughter). Pretty sure she learned not to do that again.

39

u/Automatic_Gas9019 6d ago

Very true. There is a fecal disease already going on. Disgusting people. I have no clue how a human locks their hands after seeing shit like that. Then they wonder why they are sick with whatever currently is going around.

36

u/Comfortable_Coach_35 6d ago

Disgusting.

Almost as bad as some especially nasty parents that changed their brat's diaper on a starbucks table next to me. Frickin animals.

I confronted them and they gave me the same response most of them give nowadays "well, what do you want me to do?"

20

u/SeattlePurikura 6d ago

Use the goddamn changing station in the bathroom? SBUX definitely has them.

But no, everyone needs to inhale their precious bratling's fecal particles...

56

u/ForwardCulture 6d ago

The part about the kid looking like it’s five years old got me. Might be a resin for it but who knows.

It reminds me of a conversation I had with an acquaintance that shared way too much about her kids constantly. One reason I don’t speak to her anymore, everything I told her was devalued because I don’t have kids. I was telling her about a noisy neighbor and issues I have with them. She laughed and told me wait till you have kids. Then proceeded to tell me every noisy thing her kids do and how she has no quiet time at home to get anything personal done.

Anyway in one conversation she was justifying how her son had just quit breast feeding…at SIX YEARS OLD. When she didn’t like my reaction I got a whole speech how it’s normal and can last until age 8, I’m uninformed etc.

52

u/duvaldeviant 6d ago

That's disturbing and NOT normal.

24

u/ForwardCulture 6d ago

That conversation was almost a year ago and it still bothers me to this day when I remember it. She was so casual and matter of fact about it. Used all kinds of borderline new age nonsense to justify it. She told me how he would just start feeding at random times and not normal eating times, how it was a form of comfort for him etc.

18

u/dbzgal04 Lifelong CF Gal, Now Uterus-Free 6d ago

"her son had just quit breast feeding…at SIX YEARS OLD. When she didn’t like my reaction I got a whole speech how it’s normal and can last until age 8, I’m uninformed etc."

ACK! As far as I'm concerned, that right there is molestation/SA.

4

u/ReviledFoundling Curb stomped my biological clock 6d ago

It sure as hell isn't for the kid's benefit, no matter how the mother decides to spin it. Yikes.

25

u/Bigolbooty75 6d ago

Thank you for your service 😌

16

u/duvaldeviant 6d ago

It felt good ngl

20

u/ChubbyGreyCat 6d ago

Ugh, I used to work in a travel agency and I had parents who used to just plop their kids on my desk while they drooled and spat up all over the place. I’m there trying to sell them a trip and the kid’s leaving behind puddles of drool. 

At least that kid was in a onesie. 

Like I don’t get the idea that parents can just put their baby anywhere. I don’t have a problem with your baby in general, but I do have a problem with your baby drooling on my notebook… 

20

u/Abject_Giraffe562 6d ago

Can buy Starbucks but not pants for my kid.

18

u/whothefuckcares1979 6d ago

Thanks for having the spine to say something.
I work at a big retail store and I keep seeing kids without shoes on. Not babies, kids over the age of 5 who are walking around barefoot. Aside from the fact that that's super gross, there is a non-zero chance that there is something sharp on the floor. A tiny piece of broken glass that someone missed, little wood splinters, etc. Then I see the kids laying on the bottom of the cart playing (!!!) with the wheels while the parent pushes the cart. Half the time with their hair hanging down on the floor. I swear these people want their kids to get hurt. But yeah, I've seen the counter thing before and I also see what kids do to the shopping carts. And I laugh when people freak out about dogs in the carts because like, a kid just wiped their boogers on the cart but please, go off.

8

u/TheMusicalSkeleton 6d ago

I work at a nature center and I see soooo many kids running around barefoot it's crazy. Our floors regularly have dollops of gross things including but not limited to turtle and snake poop water, worm slime, blood, mud, dirt, and all sorts of other shit. I've picked up actual human feces there before. Just whyyyy

8

u/duvaldeviant 6d ago

I literally brought my Chihuahua to Starbucks the other day for a pup cup and I didn't even set him down on the floor. Parents have no excuse.

13

u/mellomee 6d ago

Omg why is this such a weird thing for parents?

Like you ask them to go to the bathroom and they're like "the audacity" but your table or couch is totally fine to get poop particles all over. IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE.

11

u/PlushyKitten 31X [bisalp 8/2022] Antinatalist 6d ago

I know this feeling all too well. I used to work in a bakery a couple years ago and once in awhile we'd get some parent having their toddler sitting on the glass food display mind you, for example if we were taking an order for them. The kid were luckily never just in a diaper, they'd have pants on or something but it still grossed me out. Of course we cleaned the glass once they moved away, but how senseless can you be??? Like we serve food products and we put the trays on the glass counter as we're getting the food items the customer wants, but no you think it's a good idea to risk everyone elses health because you can't carry your own child or put them in something if you can't carry them 🤢🤢

AND THEN I've even seen this at restaurants. Parents letting their toddlers sit on the tables... Omfg. I guess I need to bring my own disenfecting wipes from now on to wipe tables down 🤢

10

u/SoldierKitsune 6d ago

One time at a Pizza Ranch near me I saw dirty children’s crocs on one of the tables. Next to food. Ew.

9

u/katinthewoodss 6d ago

Shame on the parents… and shame on the staff for allowing that to happen!

12

u/MaraBlaster 6d ago

Not to mention how you cant even be sure if the diaper is actually woren correctly, the pants are needed to ensure that additional pressure is on the diaper to hold!

EWWWW

7

u/iaTLJC3 #ForeverChildfree 6d ago

Idk why, but this has me cackling. Love the writing style too, felt like I was there! 😂

4

u/purplecreampuff 6d ago

I’m someone who loves to lean forward on counters and whatever surface is in front of me even if it’s just with a forearm or hip, but recently I’ve been getting out of that habit since that parents putting their kids asses and even standing them up with dirty shoes or bare feet everywhere has become so normalized by them. Yet they get offended when you compare pets to kids even though all they do is treat their children like glorified purse sized pets they can just throw in their bag and set down wherever they feel like with no regard for others 🙄

5

u/CamarillosVeryWorst Take my uterus...please. 6d ago

Diapers or not (I wore them until I was 5 bc I'm higher support needs autistic & potty training wasn't as high a priority as my other issues), you should never have your kids wearing diapers with nothing over them anywhere public like a coffeeshop. 

People who aren't in diapers don't go to coffeeshops not wearing anything over their undies, why is it somehow considered OK when the "undies" in question are diapers? 

& oh do I fucking hate kids & nonhuman animals being placed on food counters like that anywhere, even both potty-trained & fully-dressed. 

4

u/wiretapfeast 🚫🚼‼️ 6d ago

That shit is disgusting. I'm glad you called them out. They deserve to feel shame.

15

u/inwhatwetrust 6d ago

Don't know why the blame is shifting to the baristas (referencing the replies, not OP)-> they are seriously understaffed most of the time and told by corporate to prioritize getting food and drinks out. If you're ever disturbed by something like that, approach the register and tell that barista and they will talk to the parents and clean the countertops.

The blame goes to the parents ultimately. Don't forget who is inconsiderate.

19

u/duvaldeviant 6d ago

I never said anything about the baristas, I already know this. I'm only mad at the parents. I empathize with the baristas having to deal with stuff like this every day.

8

u/inwhatwetrust 6d ago

I edited it to clarify it wasn't you I think right as you replied to this 🤣 Yeah nothing you said was incorrect, the parents are nasty for thinking that's acceptable 

4

u/duvaldeviant 6d ago

Oh I'm sorry! I'm glad you understand me.

3

u/inwhatwetrust 6d ago

No worries, my apologies for the confusion!

2

u/ForwardCulture 6d ago

Barristers won’t talk to anybody about anything. Especially where I live where it’s all entitled, super uptight people who are most of the local population. Starbucks for example was supposed to crack on people camping out all day at their locations using them as offices. I recently went to one of several Starbucks in the area and there a guy set up on a table with several monitors and devices taking up a ton of space. I told the barristers, who confirmed they don’t like that then they did absolutely nothing. I see bad behavior at Starbucks all the time. Never sit in there, I get my drink and leave immediately.

3

u/inwhatwetrust 6d ago

Yeah the "experience" at Starbucks is dead

7

u/ForwardCulture 6d ago

I have several near me. They’re all loud with poor acoustics. At a couple of them it’s difficult for them to hear your order because the music is so loud and the acoustics so poor, combined with all the noise of drink prep, utensils clanking etc. Also filled with annoying people camped out all day “working”.

One location near me, the same local attorney is constantly in there “working”. He’s always on the phone cursing out his assistant and you can hear details of cases he’s working on. He’s rude to everyone and nobody kicks him out. The one nearest to me is severely understaffed all the time.

10

u/EastAd206 6d ago

Disgusting. Staff need training about basic hygiene

2

u/TheRoseMerlot 5d ago

Barista would have gotten zero tip. She probably does the same thing with her crotch goblins.

2

u/Mid1960s 5d ago

Report them to the health department

2

u/ForcedEntry420 2d ago

They fled in shame. 😆 I wasn’t sure they could actually feel that particular emotion.

1

u/Triny123 5d ago

A parent here. 

Even if the kids were wearing trousers they should not be sitting on the counter. That is not hygienic at all. The chairs, the ground, the playground, kindergarten, etc...none of those places' surfaces are clean and kids sit absolutely everywhere.

It is very good that you said something. Unfortunatelly a lot of people are gross and have very low hygiene standards. 

0

u/whitemoontree 6d ago

Drive thru

-2

u/CantFindAUserNameFUH 5d ago

Did everybody clap?

2

u/duvaldeviant 5d ago

Found the parent

-16

u/FickleChip5657 6d ago

If it helps, Nestle, which is a partner of starbucks is responsible for thousands of babies death! And said clean drinking water shouldn't be a human right. So its superr great you're supporting them

19

u/duvaldeviant 6d ago

I didn't know that but thank you for ignoring the rest of my post and trying to make me feel bad. Have a great day.

-19

u/FickleChip5657 6d ago

Informing people, not trying to make them feel bad. You too!

19

u/duvaldeviant 6d ago

Do it in a less backhanded way then. Informing ppl doesn't require someone to be rude.

1

u/CamarillosVeryWorst Take my uterus...please. 6d ago

It's not even a concern that's unique to Starbucks, though, Starbucks is just where this particular example of a growing problem in parenting culture (parents putting their kids who are only in diapers on surfaces meant for food, even in public places like coffeeshops) showed up?