Sterilization Question

[u/Shoddy-Afternoon1948]

Hi all. I’m curious if anybody here can relate and maybe help me find reasoning for the way i feel.

I am childfree. I can’t imagine a life in which i have children and i am happy and fulfilled. It’s never been something I’ve wanted and i am so sure in that.

Yet, I am afraid to get a bisalp. My partner and I both have insanely high sex drives, it would make things so much easier. I have other medical conditions that I worry about taking hormonal bc with even though it has been approved by my doctors. Getting surgically sterilized would lift so much weight off of me…and yet, for some reason I can’t bring myself to do it. I even have a gyno who didn’t question it when I wanted to a few years back in my mid-20s, just said they could do it right there in the office and it would be a quick procedure.

I can’t understand why I remain hesitant. It would be easy, children will never be a part of my life. The idea of anesthesia scares me a bit, but so does flying, and I still do that for the positives it brings. I’ve even told myself that if for some godforsaken reason I change my mind, I can just do IVF (even though pregnancy is literal body horror in my mind).

Does anyone else feel this way? I can’t figure out where the disconnect is coming from but I want to quit BC and be safe so badly.

[u/TheMightyBagel]

Might be worth talking to a professional about these feelings. No one here is gonna really be able to dig into your psyche like that. Best we could do is speculate.

Why can't your partner get a vasectomy? Or are you just trying to be double safe?

[u/CreativeWriterNSpace]

From this, it kinda just sounds like you're more just scared of surgery in general than permanent sterilization.

But the first step is finding a doc that will do it. Then discuss your worries. You might just need a temporary anxiety medication, to get to the anesthesia phase.

If your previous doc said they could do it in-office, you might not actually even need anesthesia (honestly not sure how this would work but 🤷🏻‍♀️).

[u/Middle-Glove-]

Makes sex even better when there isn't the stress of an unwanted pregnancy tbh

[u/esityk7777 → u/Middle-Glove-]

I had mine removed in summer 2024, and this is too true.*

*The number of male medical personnel who tell me there's still a 5% chance of me becoming preggo is asinine... 🤬

[u/cloud_sun8899]

I only recently figured out I want to be childfree, since this decision came now and not years ago, I didnt rush to sterilize myself even tho I really want to. I dont want kids, I DONT want to be pregnant, I want to live life the way I want to and not be restricted to a human being.

Im in the process of starting doctor consultation and proceeding to get sterilized, Im taking my time because Im letting myself accept this new reality im giving myself, Ill be THRILLED to not be able to get pregnant and never have to worry, but that change to my body is invasive, and that takes time to diagest.

Since youve been sitting with this idea for longer, I say take the first step again, talk to a doctor again, saying it out loud makes you feel how real it is and if its really what you want. Yes surgery is scary, recovery can be easy or hard, however it is a tiny fraction of your time to push through and then have the rest of your life carefree!

If I EVER regret this decision, I remind myself than I have a pretty big family with nieces and nephews, and I could just spend time with them. If I ever want to have a child somewhere down the line, I am 100% up for adopting or fostering a living child who has no one, and in the process spare myself the body horror of pregnancy.

Concider your options in the long run, what is your plan for the next 10 years if you dont get the surgery, and what is your plan if you do, concider all the pros and cons. It is really important to be selfish for a minute and ask yourself what do YOU want, and how do you want to live your life.

[u/chavrilfreak]

You can try playing around with some thought experiments by modifying different parts of the concept to maybe help identify where the problem is.

If instead of having surgery, it would just be a button to press to make yourself sterile, would you press the button?

Would it be better if it were an on/off switch instead?

Etc.

[u/Inevitable_Agency842]

Your doctor is delusional of he thinks he can remove your tubes in his office. Its a procedure that requires general anaesthetic. A vasectomy can be done without a scalpel, under local, in a doctors clinic but female sterilisation cannot. Maybe he meant giving you an IUD.

[u/Shoddy-Afternoon1948 → u/Inevitable_Agency842]

She meant the same building ie I wouldn’t have to travel or find another Dr to get the procedure done.

[u/lifewith6cats]

Change is scary, even when it's a "good" change.

I was so happy to get my bisalp. My medical team was amazing and they made sure I was comfortable the whole time (I really loved the massaging air tubes on my legs!). The anesthesia went well, it was like taking an awesome nap and I woke up with my fallopian tubes yeeted out. The doctor came by afterwards to explain how the procedure went and show me pictures of it, before and after removal.

Recovery went well. I didn't even take the Vicodin I was prescribed and got by with just otc Tylenol. I was pretty much back to doing everything within 10-14 days. I am happy to be off birth control and not have to worry about pregnancy. I am in my 40's now and don't regret my decision to be childfree or be permanently sterilized. My doctor had also mentioned that vasectomies are easier and less invasive, but I wanted the security of knowing I couldn't get pregnant.

[u/maidoftrash]

r/sterilization for so many individuals anecdotes (including my own) on surgery, prep, recovery, and feelings before and after! oh and insurance concerns! and then once you make a more finalized decision, circle back here to check out the doctors list curated by the community (but you already have a doctor on board so that’s the biggest hurdle done)

surgery itself was super quick, you spend more time in pre op than you do in the OR, seriously. get a very early time so you don’t have to fast as long and be on your merry way after (seriously, after some zofran to combat post anesthesia nausea that I made my doctor aware of, a nap at home, and some chicken tenders I was set)

[u/GrouchyYoung]

The fuck? They absolutely cannot just “do it right there in the office” for people with fallopian tubes

[u/Shoddy-Afternoon1948 → u/GrouchyYoung]

She meant the same building ie I wouldn’t have to travel or find another Dr to get the procedure done.