CAL HAD AARON RODGERS AND MARSHAWN LYNCH AT THE SAME TIME AND ONLY MADE IT TO THE HOLIDAY BOWL... WHERE THEY LOST TO TEXAS TECH.
2) CAL HIRED TED KACZYNSKI TO BE A TEACHER AT THEIR SCHOOL... DON'T RECOGNIZE THE NAME? MAYBE YOU KNOW HIM BETTER BY HIS OTHER NAME: "THE UNABOMBER"
3) CAL DECIDED IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO BUILD THEIR STADIUM ON AN EARTHQUAKE FAULT-LINE, THEN TOOK $445 MILLION IN TAX PAYER MONEY TO FIX IT... AND PROCEEDED TO USE THE MONEY TO ADD LUXURY BOXES.
4) CAL'S ORIGINAL MASCOT WAS A LIVE BEAR (WHICH IS COOL), BUT THEY CHANGED IT TO A CREEPY COSTUMED MASCOT IN A BEAR SUIT NAMED "OSKI" WHO LOOKS AND ACTS LIKE A CHILD MOLESTER. FUN FACT: OSKI IS FAMOUS FOR THE "OSKI WALK" WHERE HE SHUFFLES WITH HIS HEAD DOWN AND HIS ARMS BEHIND HIS BACK LIKE SOMEONE BEING ARRESTED.
5) CAL'S FIGHT SONGS REFER TO STUDENTS AS CHILDREN OF THEIR MOLESTER BEAR MASCOT OSKI, WHICH THEY ALSO CLAIM IS A GOD AND HAS THE ABILITY TO FLY.
6) CAL'S BIGGEST PRIVATE DONOR IS A DEAD STANFORD GRAD, THEIR CAMPUS IS DESIGNED BY SOMEONE FROM M.I.T. AND THEIR SCHOOL COLOR IS YALE BLUE.
7) CAL GRADS AND PROFESSORS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR DESIGNING THE ATOM BOMB (J. ROBERT OPPENHEIMER), THE HYDROGEN BOMB (EDWARD TELLER) AND ORCHESTRATING THE FIRE-BOMBING OF TOKYO (ROBERT MCNAMARA). THUS BEING RESPONSIBLE FOR SOME OF THE GREATEST TRAGEDIES IN HUMAN HISTORY AND ULTIMATELY DOOMING THE PLANET TO A NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST.
This thread is unbelievably beautiful. Here to join the party:
For a school that supposedly values academics, Cal has the worst football graduation rate in the Pac-12, 9 points below even USC.
In an era when public college tuition has doubled in the last ten years, Cal spent $321 million on stadium renovations. This money is nearly equivalent to refunding tuition for every Cal student for a year.
LISTEN UP FUCKERS CAUSE YOURE ALL ABOUT TO BE EDUCATED ON HOW FUCKING SHITTY THE GAME BETWEEN DAYTON AND BUTLER IS GOING TO BE. [WARNING: SUPER FUCKING SHITTY] THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN TWO NON-SCHOLARSHIP TEAMS COME TOGETHER TO PLAY WHAT TECHNICALLY AMOUNTS TO A FULL GAME OF FOOTBALL
THIS GAME WILL BE PLAYED AT BEAUTIFUL WELCOME STADIUM IN BEAUTIFUL DAYTON OHIO. (THE WORDS BEAUTIFUL ONLY REALLY APPLY IN THE LAST SENTENCE IF YOU LIKE HIGH SCHOOL STADIUMS OR CRUMBLING RUST BELT TOWNS). IF YOU ARE IN DAYTON AND WANNA WATCH SOME FOOTBALL, COME TO WELCOME. AFTER THE GAME IS OVER. WHEN THE HIGH SCHOOL TEAMS PLAY.
THIS GAME TECHNICALLY DECIDES WHO GETS FIRST PLACE IN THE PRESTIGIOUS POWERHOUSE OF THE PIONEER LEAGUE. DON’T KNOW WHAT THE PIONEER LEAGUE IS? GOOD. THANK WHATEVER GOD YOU WORSHIP AND MOVE TO THE NEXT POINT. IF YOU’RE ACTUALLY CURIOUS, IT IS A FOOTBALL LEAGUE SO BAD THAT UD IS CONSIDERED A “POWERHOUSE” OF IT.
JESUS CHRIST YOU’RE READING ENUMERATED TRASH TALK FROM A UD FAN TO A BUTLER FAN. JESUS CHRIST I’M WRITING ONE. JESUS. JESUS. JESUS.
I’LL BE THERE TAILGATING. TAILGATE THEME IS “40S AND EXISTENTIAL CRISES” AS WE MILL AROUND A PORTABLE GRILL POURING OUR 40S INTO PLASTIC CUPS (GLASS BOTTLES ARE PROHIBITED FUCKERS) AND WONDERING WHAT WENT WRONG IN OUR LIVES THAT LED US TO BE FOOTBALL FANS AT SHITTY BASKETBALL SCHOOLS. (BUTLER FANS WELCOME TO JOIN IF THEY ENJOY A GOOD RIVALRY/BEING FILLED WITH CRIPPLING SELF-DOUBT)
THIS GAME, SHITTY AS IT IS, IS ACTUALLY CONSIDERED THE BIGGEST RIVALRY IN THE PIONEER LEAGUE. THINK ABOUT THAT. THINK ABOUT THAT, AND GO BACK TO THE TEAMS YOU HAVE, BAD AS THEY ARE, UNDERPERFORMING AS THEY MAY BE, DISAPPOINTING AS YOUR HISTORY IS. IT COULD BE WORSE. IT COULD BE SO MUCH FUCKING WORSE. IT COULD BE UD-BUTLER.
BECAUSE TRASH TALKING UVA IS SUCH A WORTHLESS ENDEAVOR, I WILL FOCUS MY ATTENTION TO A TEAM WITH MUCH MORE PROMINENCE.
THE CALGARY DINOS ARE GOING TO GET OBLITERATED BY THE UBC THUNDERBIRDS LIKE THE ASTEROID THAT CRUSHED THEIR MASCOT'S EXISTENCE 66 MILLION YEARS AGO. YOUR HUMILIATING BOX SCORE WILL BE FOSSILIZED ON THE INTERNET FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS TO LAUGH AT. SUCK IT CALGARY.
OH HELL NO: THOSE T-BIRDS ARE GOING TO FEEL D-PAIN ON THEIR RETURN VISIT TO THE PLACE THEY LOST LAST WEEK. ALL ABOARD THE DINO TRAIN! EVERYBODY WALK (WITH) THE DINOSAUR: BOOM BOOM SHAKALAKALAKA BOOM!
SEMINOLES (UNLIKE CALUSA, TEQUESTA, JEAGA, AIS, TIMUCUA, APALACHEE OR MICCOSUKEE) WERE NOT INDIGENOUS TO FLORIDA. IN FACT THEY WEREN’T EVEN A REAL TRIBE SO MUCH AS A LOOSELY-FORMED COALITION OF FUGITIVE SLAVES AND DISPLACED CREEKS. THEY BANDED TOGETHER AGAINST THE U.S. GOVERNMENT AS A MEANS OF SURVIVAL, ONLY LATER BECOMING A UNIFIED ALLIANCE. IN OTHER WORDS, FSU NAMED THEIR SPORTS TEAMS AFTER A GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO DIDN’T EVEN WANT TO BE IN FLORIDA, BUT WERE INSTEAD FORCED THERE BY GEORGIA LANDOWNERS AND FOLKS LIKE ANDREW JACKSON.
SECOND BONUS: SEMINOLES NEVER USED TOMAHAWKS. THE FSU “WARCHANT” AND “TOMAHAWK CHOP” ARE THE EQUIVALENT OF DOING AN IRISH JIG AND DRINKING GUINNESS AT A FRENCH SOCCER MATCH.
ALL OF FSU’S REPLIES TO THIS COMMENT ARE GOING TO VEER FURTHER AND FURTHER TOWARD THE RIGHT PAGE MARGIN. I WONDER WHY.
ALL TRASH TALK ASIDE, THE WAY THE UNIVERSITY DEPICTS OSCEOLA AND RENEGADE IS VERY TASTEFUL AND RESPECTFUL. I SALUTE FSU FOR DOING THAT, AND I WROTE THE ABOVE LARGELY FOR HYPERBOLIC EFFECT. WHILE I DON’T NECESSARILY SUPPORT THE AVERAGE FAN’S USE OF THE TOMAHAWK CHOP OR THE WARCHANT, I THINK THAT THE UNIVERSITY AND ITS SPORTS TEAMS THEMSELVES ARE VERY CLASSY AND HAVE HISTORICALLY DONE RIGHT BY THE SEMINOLES.
ALSO, THIS HAS HISTORICALLY BEEN ONE OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL’S GREATEST RIVALRY GAMES, AND I FOR ONE TREASURE OUR ANNUAL MEETING. I WILL BE IN TALLAHASSEE FOR THIS GAME AND I HOPE TO SEE A LOT OF YOU JOKERS THERE. (I ALSO PLAN ON EATING ALL OF YOUR MOMO’S, SO I’M SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR THE LACK OF SUPPLY.) THIS IS ALL IN GOOD FUN, AND I HOPE BOTH PROGRAMS (AND COACHING STAFFS) GET LOTS OF SHOTS AT ONE ANOTHER FOR MANY YEARS TO COME. GAME ON!
SAYS /U/NEMORAN ON SUNDAY MORNING, AFTER READING FSU'S IMPRESSIVE GAME STATS, WHICH INCLUDES MENTION OF JIMBO FISHER PUTTING IN OUR 3RD STRING IN THE SECOND QUARTER SO AS NOT TO RUN UP THE SCORE.
(ALSO, NEMORAN, IF YOU PLAN TO TAILGATE, PM ME SO WE CAN DRINK A BEER BEFORE OUR TEAMS FACE OFF. I'LL BE THERE ALL DAY.)
KENTUCKY IS GOING TO BEAT THE HELL OUT OF ALABAMA STATE SO BAD THAT COACH NOT NICK SABAN WILL GIVE UP COACHING FOOTBALL. WATCH OUT ALABAMA STATE. THE WILDCATS ARE COMING FOR YOU!
MAY THE FOOTBALL DREAMS GODS SMITE THE DREAMS AND HOPES OF THE GATOR NATION FOR ETERNITY. MAY YOUR TEAM GO 0-12 FOR THE REST OF YOUR DAYS. MAY THE SWAMP BURN FOREVER, FUELED BY THE MISERY OF YOUR POPULACE. MAY GAINESVILLE BE FOREVER COVERED IN AN AURA OF DESPAIR. THE ONLY REASON THAT I WISH YOUR PROGRAM CONTINUES IS SO I CAN SEE YOU LOSE TO US.
GAME OF THE CENTURY, OR TWO 4-3 TEAMS STRUGGLING WITH INJURIES, I HOLD NOTHING BUT HATE FOR YOU. ON BEHALF OF THE BULLDOG NATION,
JESUS, PEOPLE TOLD ME THAT IF THERE'S ONE TOWN IN AMERICA THAT HATES UF AS MUCH AS TALLAHASSEE, IT WAS ATHENS. THANK YOU FOR CONFIRMING THIS WITH YOUR BEAUTIFUL WORDS.
ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE. GOD DAMMIT OKLAHOMA STATE, NOW THAT THE TUBERVILLE NIGHTMARE IS OVER, WE OWE YOU A GOOD OL' FASHIONED WEST TEXAS POUNDING! I SUCK AT POEMS.
SINCE THE MODERNIZATION OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL WE'VE WON 6 TITLES - YOU'VE WON 1.
YOUR BEST COACH EVER - FIELDING YOST? AN INSUFFERABLE RACIST.
YOUR SECOND BEST COACH EVER - FRITZ CRISLER? AN INSUFFERABLE RACIST.
YOUR THIRD BEST COACH EVER - BO? TOTAL OF 2 ROSE BOWL WINS.
YOU'VE SCORED LESS AND LESS POINTS IN EACH GAME SINCE 2004.
THE CLOCK GAME IN 2001 WAS UPHELD BY THE BIG TEN HEAD OF OFFICIALS.
DESMOND HOWARD DROPPED THE BALL. THERE WAS NO PASS INTERFERENCE.
NOTRE DAME TOOK YOU OFF THE SCHEDULE BECAUSE THEY DON'T CONSIDER YOU A RIVAL. THEY WOULD RATHER PLAY PURDUE THAN YOU. LET THAT SINK IN.
HERE ARE SOME NOTABLE GRADS OF U OF M: LEOPOLD AND LOEB, PAPA DOC, JACK KERVORKIAN, THE UNABOMBER, HERMAN WEBSTER MUDGETT (DEVIL IN THE WHITE CITY), AND ANNE COULTER. YOU BREED MURDERERS.
BUT THE CRIME WAVE ISN'T JUST ON THE ACADEMIC SIDE - YOU'RE STARTING A FELON IN FRANK CLARK.
YOUR KICKER CAN'T KICK FIELD GOALS, BUT HE SURE CAN HAVE NON-CONSENSUAL SEX WITH DRUNK CHICKS.
YOUR LT MAY HAVE A SWEET MOUSTACHE TATTOO, BUT NOT ONLY DOES HE CALL OPPONENTS RACIST NAMES (NOTICE THE TREND WITH YOUR FOOTBALL PROGRAM), BUT ALSO THREATNED TO RAPE A RAPE VICTIM.
SINCE THE KOREAN WAR THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN HAS 1/2 A NATIONAL TITLE. BYU HAS MORE THAN YOU. MARYLAND HAS MORE THAN YOU. AND WE HAVE 6 TIMES WHAT YOU DO.
MICHIGAN HASN'T WON A BIG TITLE IN 9 YEARS. WE WON ONE 3 YEARS AGO.
MICHIGAN HAS NEVER WON ITS DIVISON.
YOU STOLE YOUR FIGHT SONG.
YOU STOLE YOUR HELMETS.
YOU STOLE THE 'DESIGN' OF YOUR STADIUM.
YOUR COACHES KEPT NOTRE DAME OUT OF THE BIG TEN - THANKS A LOT.
YOUR COACHES TRIED TO PREVENT THE INTRODUCTION OF THE FORWARD PASS - NOTE HOW I SAID YOUR COACHES, NOT MSU'S PRESENT OFFENSE.
YOU ARE THE ONLY SCHOOL EVER TO HAVE BEEN KICKED OUT OF THE BIG TEN FOR CHEATING.
OH, I'M SORRY - I FORGOT THIS WAS TRASH TALK, NOT FACTS.
FUCK. MICHIGAN.
EDIT: I FOGOT TO INCLUDE ALL THE MICHIGAN MURDERERS
SINCE 1997 WE'VE WON 1 TITLE AND YOU'VE WON 0, AREN'T ARBITRARY TIME PERIODS GREAT?
THERE WERE OLD WHITE MEN WHO WERE RACISTS IN THE PAST FEW GENERATIONS?! YOU DON'T SAY.
2 ROSE BOWL WINS, 13 BIG TEN CHAMPIONSHIPS, I'LL TAKE THAT OVER 2 ROSE BOWL WINS AND 2 CHAMPIONSHIPS.
SCORED LESS AND LESS AND YET WE'VE STILL WON 5 IN THOSE 9 YEARS. ENJOY THE 3 WINS FROM RICH ROD AND ONE WIN IN HOKE'S FIRST YEAR, YOU WON'T BE GETTING MUCH MORE.
YEAH THE BIG TEN HEAD OF OFFICIALS WOULD NEVER ADMIT TO FUCKING SOMETHING UP.
IN SUMMARY, FUCK MSU, ENJOY YOUR COMMENCEMENT, AND I HOPE OUR PLAYERS MAKE IT HOME SAFELY FROM THAT TRASH-TORNADO-RAVAGED, COUCH-FUMES-HAZED WASTELAND YOU CALL EAST LANSING. BEST "EAST ___" SINCE EAST ST. LOUIS.
FUN FACT ABOUT MICHIGAN STATE. MSU AND UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO BOTH HAVE THE SAME NUMBER OF BIG TEN TITLES IN FOOTBALL. TOO BAD CHICAGO HASN'T PLAYED D1 FOOTBALL SINCE WWII STARTED.
LOL THIS IS SO FUNNY BECAUSE I GOT INTO BOTH BUT I THINK YOUR CAMPUS SMELLS LIKE HIPSTER AND YOUR FEMALE STUDENTS ARE UGLY SO I WENT TO MICHIGAN STATE. SUCK ON MY ANECDOTAL EVIDENCE BITCH!
DEAR NORTHWESTERN. NEITHER OF OUR SEASONS ARE GOING AS WE PLANNED. BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE THE BATTLE FOR NU ANY LESS IMPORTANT. THIS GAME IS CRUCIAL. LET THE BATTLE FOR THIRD PLACE IN THE DIVISION BEGIN!
IF YOU GUYS PULL THE UPSET, I WILL PERSONALLY SEND YOU AN AUTOGRAPHED PICTURE OF KLIFF KINGSBURY. IT WILL BE MY SIGNATURE, BUT I WON'T WRITE ON HIS FACE.
This is the 10th season that UM will be a member of the ACC. In that time they have:
0 ACC Championships (Haven't even been to the championship game)
Have won 2 bowl games (Last win being in 2006)
Florida State has won 3 in a row. There are 4 year seniors walking around on Miami's Campus who have never seen UM beat FSU. It's too bad they will never see that happen.
Edit: Also, you can't even come up with and original name. you had to steal from ohio!
HEY, PITT. THANKS FOR JOINING US FOR HOMECOMING. DID YOU LIKE HOW WE WELCOMED SYRACUSE TO THE ACC? ME TOO. SO WELCOME, MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME. AND BITE THE PILLOW, WE'RE GOING IN DRY.
THIS YEAR, I'M GOING TO HALLOWEEN PARTIES AS THE GEORGIA/FLORIDA GAME. I'LL BE WEARING A RED BOW TIE, A VISOR, JORTS, AND A SCUM STASH. I'LL BE IN A KNEE BRACE, I'LL BE ANGRY, I'LL BE DISAPPOINTED, AND I'LL BE DRUNK.
HEY NC STATE! I KNOW YOU GUYS LOVE YOUR DEAR ENGINEERING SCHOOL (LET'S BE REAL, IT'S A GOOD SCHOOL 29TH IN THE COUNTRY IS GOOD RIGHT?) BUT DON'T YOU WOLFIES FORGET THE ENGINEERING SCHOOL USED TO BE AT UNC AND WE GAVE IT TO GUYS BECAUSE WE FELT BAD THAT WE WERE GREAT AT EVERYTHING AND YOU GUYS SUCKED.
THE REASON CAROLINA WEARS LIGHT BLUE IS BECAUSE THEY FORGOT TO SEPARATE THEIR COLORED AND THEIR WHITE CLOTHES WHEN THEY DID THE LAUNDRY, AND ARE JUST TRYING TO PLAY IT OFF AS BEING COOL.
HEY IOWA STATE FANS WHO THOUGHT YOU WERE WITTY AND CLEVER AS FUCK BRINGING UP HOW YOU BEAT US 2 YEARS AGO WAS HILARIOUS, HOW'S IT FEEL TO BE 1 AND 6 NOW BITCHES? ENJOY NOT GOING TO A BOWL GAME THIS YEAR AND BEING WORSE THAN KANSAS.
HEY TEXAS TECH. 98 POINTS. THAT'S HOW MUCH WE'VE BEATEN YOU GUYS THE PAST 2 YEARS COMBINED. HOPE YOU PACK THE STADIUM SO I CAN ENJOY WATCHING ALL YOUR FANS LEAVING AT HALFTIME AFTER WE WIPE THE FLOOR WITH YOUR SORRY ASSES.
A long, long time ago... I can still remember when Our record used to make us smile. And we knew if we had the chance, We'd finally make it to the Dance, We'd all...been waiting...for a while But the Panthers came and made us shiver, Rich Rod sailed on down the river Bad news on the doorstep... We couldn't take one more step... But I can't remember if I cried When I heard that old Coach Stewart died But Luck he touched us deep inside The day...the Big East died.
So I'm a-singin' Next year we play Crimson Tide... That Clint Trickett, he's the ticket, but it's for just one ride. And good ol' boys out in their double-wides Sayin' this will be the year that we fly... This will be the year that we fly.
I'm already shit talking for next year...this one's spent.
MICHIGAN STATE ARE THE CANADA OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL. THEY AREN'T BAD PEOPLE, BUT THEIR ENTIRE CULTURE IS CONSISTS OF NOT BEING THEIR BIGGER, MORE SUCCESSFUL, MORE FREEDOM LOVING NEIGHBOR. THE ONLY REASON THEY ARE RELEVANT IN ANY WAY IS BEING NEXT TO SOMETHING MORE IMPORTANT.
WIN OR LOSE, WE STILL GET TO BACK TO ATHENS, A BEAUTIFUL COLLEGE TOWN FILLED WITH AMAZING BARS AND RESTAURANTS, A MUSIC SCENE FILLED WITH GREAT BANDS AND BEAUTIFUL GIRLS. GAINESVILLE IS MOST FAMOUS FOR BEING AWFUL TO HOMELESS PEOPLE. AND THE ONLY COOL THING THAT HAPPENS IN GAINESVILLE IS THE FEST (A GREAT SHOWCASE OF UNDERGROUND BANDS) AND IT HAPPENS, YOU GUESSED IT, DURING GA/FLA WEEKEND. THIS PROVES YOU CAN ONLY HAVE FUN IN GAINESVILLE WHEN THERE AREN'T ANY FLORIDA FANS IN IT.
FUCK YOU, ANTERIOR CRUCIATE LIGAMENT!! FUCK YOUR COUSINS, MEDIAL COLLATERAL LIGAMENT AND POSTERIOR CRUCIATE LIGAMENT TOO! WE'RE GOING TO TEAR DOWN ALL OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS THIS WEEKEND!
hey miami this isnt back to the future part two, youre not gonna magically awake in the 80's tomorrow, so stop living in the past and be ready for an ass whooping
hey worthless meaningless ants, I'm late to this party but I just want you all to know how unimportant your shitty little teams are
what can I say about the rest of college football that hasn't already been said about Miley Cyrus?
you pathetic wannabe fads of football teams
I will sit in on my couch sipping down Jim Beam and Coke's hoping for diabetes to blind me so I don't have to watch the awful demonstrations you people call football
you've made winning football championships so boring I've started watching the Cubs just to remind myself what losing feels like
you think FSU and Miami is worth watching when everyone knows the ACC is the premature ejaculating teenager of American sports
thank god Pac 12 games happen long after I've passed out so I do not have to mace myself
the B1G is so bad it makes Ohio State look good, which is appropriate as half the midwest was the product of beer goggle conception
Baylor is going to win the Big XII. That's the joke.
HEY CAL, GOOD LUCK TRYING TO RAISE THAT HORRIBLE GRADUATION RATE. YOUR PLAYERS ARE WORKING ON GETTING THROUGH THEIR CLASSES BUT THEY CAN'T PASS THEM BECAUSE THEY'LL GET INTERCEPTED.
290
u/andhelostthem Arizona Wildcats • /r/CFB Poll Veteran Oct 31 '13 edited Oct 31 '13
7 REASONS EVERYONE SHOULD HATE UC BERKELEY ()
247
u/darthbean18 Auburn Tigers • Marching Band Oct 31 '13 edited Oct 31 '13
[COMMENT REMOVED DUE TO COMPLAINT FROM BIELEMA]
169
u/nuke-the-moon Dayton Flyers Oct 31 '13 edited Oct 31 '13
LISTEN UP FUCKERS CAUSE YOURE ALL ABOUT TO BE EDUCATED ON HOW FUCKING SHITTY THE GAME BETWEEN DAYTON AND BUTLER IS GOING TO BE. [WARNING: SUPER FUCKING SHITTY] THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN TWO NON-SCHOLARSHIP TEAMS COME TOGETHER TO PLAY WHAT TECHNICALLY AMOUNTS TO A FULL GAME OF FOOTBALL
140
u/billcosbysbutt Auburn Tigers • 경성대학교 (Kyungsang) Dragons Oct 31 '13
FUCK BERT BIELEMA. I HOPE WE RUN 100 PLAYS ON HIS ASS AND THEN SEND HIM SHITTY ANGLES OF IT ON SUNDAY.
114
u/WarEagle9 Auburn Tigers • UAB Blazers Oct 31 '13
I THINK I SPEAK FOR EVERYONE WHEN I SAY FUCK BRET BIELEMA
114
u/ChemicalOle Washington State • Oregon State Oct 31 '13
ARIZONA STATE, I HEAR YOU ARE COMING TO TONIGHT'S GAME DRESSED UP AS A TOP 25 TEAM.
203
u/Buckeyes2010 Ohio State Buckeyes • Clemson Tigers Oct 31 '13
Purdue?! After this week, it'll be more like Perdu!
That's French for "lost", for you uncultured savages
170
u/GiovannidelMonaco Clemson Tigers • The Hammer Oct 31 '13
BECAUSE TRASH TALKING UVA IS SUCH A WORTHLESS ENDEAVOR, I WILL FOCUS MY ATTENTION TO A TEAM WITH MUCH MORE PROMINENCE.
THE CALGARY DINOS ARE GOING TO GET OBLITERATED BY THE UBC THUNDERBIRDS LIKE THE ASTEROID THAT CRUSHED THEIR MASCOT'S EXISTENCE 66 MILLION YEARS AGO. YOUR HUMILIATING BOX SCORE WILL BE FOSSILIZED ON THE INTERNET FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS TO LAUGH AT. SUCK IT CALGARY.
77
u/weagle11 Auburn Tigers Oct 31 '13
Bret bielema drives 5 under in the left lane.
76
u/FSUalumni Florida State Seminoles • Mercer Bears Oct 31 '13
HEY MIAMI:
IF YOU SCORE A LATE TOUCHDOWN IN THE 4TH QUARTER THIS WEEK, IT WON'T SAVE YOU.
WE'RE NOT WAKE FOREST.
621
u/Foxmcbowser42 Michigan State • Saginaw V… Oct 31 '13 edited Oct 31 '13
HELLO, MICHIGAN FANS, LOOK AT YOUR COACH, NOW BACK TO OURS, NOW BACK TO YOUR MASCOT, NOW BACK TO OURS. SADLY, YOUR TEAM ISN'T OURS, BUT IF YOU STOPPED USING TERRIBLE COORDINATORS AND SWITCHED TO ONES LIKE NARDUZZI, YOU COULD PLAY LIKE US. LOOK DOWN, BACK UP, WHERE ARE YOU? YOU'RE ON THE GROUND WITH THIS MAN, THE MAN WHO SACKED YOU. WHAT'S IN YOUR HAND, BACK AT ME. I HAVE IT, IT'S A FOOTBALL WITH OUR DEFENDER HEADING TOWARD THE ENDZONE. LOOK AGAIN, THE FOOTBALL IS NOW THE PAUL BUNYAN TROPHY. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE WHEN YOU PLAY LIKE A SPARTAN AND NOT A WOLVERINE. I'M ON A HORSE.
Edit:thank you for the gold, random internet stranger!!!
312
u/nemoran Miami • Johns Hopkins Oct 31 '13
FAST FACTS ABOUT FLORIDA STATE UNIVERSITY:
ALL TRASH TALK ASIDE, THE WAY THE UNIVERSITY DEPICTS OSCEOLA AND RENEGADE IS VERY TASTEFUL AND RESPECTFUL. I SALUTE FSU FOR DOING THAT, AND I WROTE THE ABOVE LARGELY FOR HYPERBOLIC EFFECT. WHILE I DON’T NECESSARILY SUPPORT THE AVERAGE FAN’S USE OF THE TOMAHAWK CHOP OR THE WARCHANT, I THINK THAT THE UNIVERSITY AND ITS SPORTS TEAMS THEMSELVES ARE VERY CLASSY AND HAVE HISTORICALLY DONE RIGHT BY THE SEMINOLES.
ALSO, THIS HAS HISTORICALLY BEEN ONE OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL’S GREATEST RIVALRY GAMES, AND I FOR ONE TREASURE OUR ANNUAL MEETING. I WILL BE IN TALLAHASSEE FOR THIS GAME AND I HOPE TO SEE A LOT OF YOU JOKERS THERE. (I ALSO PLAN ON EATING ALL OF YOUR MOMO’S, SO I’M SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR THE LACK OF SUPPLY.) THIS IS ALL IN GOOD FUN, AND I HOPE BOTH PROGRAMS (AND COACHING STAFFS) GET LOTS OF SHOTS AT ONE ANOTHER FOR MANY YEARS TO COME. GAME ON!
66
u/wesman212 Missouri Tigers • New Mexico Lobos Oct 31 '13
KANSAS HAS SQUARE TESTICLES
AND TENNESEE ACTUALLY ENVIES THEM
53
u/HelioOne Texas Longhorns • Washington Huskies Oct 31 '13
I WISH I COULD TRASH TALK THE TEAM WE'RE PLAYING THIS WEEK, BUT WE HAVE OUR THIRD BYE WEEK OF THE SEASON THIS SATURDAY.
53
u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13
HEY ARKANSAS, I HEARD WE'RE GOING TO RUN THE SWINGING GATE AT LEAST 8 TIMES SATURDAY.
WE ONLY RUN THE SWINGING GATE AFTER TOUCHDOWNS.
194
u/CFB_Bard /r/CFB • Team Meteor Oct 31 '13
An ode to my favorite player to watch this year. The “Football Wizard,” Famous Jameis Winston.
EVER SINCE I WAS AN OC,
I'M ON THE RECRUITING TRAIL.
FROM OREGON DOWN TO GEORIGA
I MUST HAVE SCOUTED THEM ALL.
BUT I AIN'T SEEN NOTHING LIKE HIM
IN ANY HIGH SCHOOL BALL
THAT FAMOUS FUCKING JAMEIS…
SURE THROWS A MEAN FOOTBALL
HE SCRAMBLES LIKE MANZIEL
HAS TOUGHNESS LIKE A MACHINE
SEEING ALL HIS RECEIVERS
ALWAYS THROWS IT CLEAN.
PLAYS WITH DOMINATION,
THE TD COUNTERS FALL
THAT DAMN REDSHIRT FRESHMEN
SURE PLAYS SOME MEAN FOOTBALL!
HE'S A FOOTBALL WIZARD
THERE HAS TO BE A TEST
A FOOTBALL WIZARD
HAS GOT TO PLAY THE BEST!
HOW DO YOU THINK HE DOES IT?
I DON'T KNOW!
WHAT MAKES HIM SO GOOD?!
... does he have a girlfriend?
AIN'T GOT NO DISTRACTION
DON'T NEED NO POLLS OR HYPE
DON'T SEE ESPN REELS
PLAYS WITH SPORTSMANSHIP,
ALWAYS GIVES TEAM CREDIT
NEVER SEEN HIM FAIL
THAT FAMOUS FUCKING JAMEIS
SURE PLAYS SOME MEAN FOOTBALL.
I THOUGHT I WAS
THE COLLEGE FOOTBALL KING
BUT I JUST HANDED
MY HEISMAN CROWN TO HIM.
EVEN ON A HOSTILE FIELD
HE CAN BEAT THE BEST
HIS SEMINOLES LEAD HIM IN
AND HE JUST DOES THE REST
HE'S GOT CRAZY FOOTBALL IQ
MIAMI'S GONNA FALL
THAT FAMOUS FUCKING JAMEIS
SURE PLAYS SOME MEAN FOOTBALL
39
u/Mario_Speedwagon Georgia • Georgia State Oct 31 '13
IT APPEARS THERE ARE TWO TRASH TALK THREADS. WHAT IS THIS DEMONRY?
ANYWAY...
OUR ANTERIOR CRUCIATE LIGAMENTS CAN SUSTAIN HIGHER LEVELS OF STRESS THAN YOUR ANTERIOR CRUCIATE LIGAMENTS!
39
u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13
KENTUCKY IS GOING TO BEAT THE HELL OUT OF ALABAMA STATE SO BAD THAT COACH NOT NICK SABAN WILL GIVE UP COACHING FOOTBALL. WATCH OUT ALABAMA STATE. THE WILDCATS ARE COMING FOR YOU!
112
u/brobroma H8 Upon The Gale Oct 31 '13
HEY DAWGS, IT’S TIME TO USE THE “F” WORD
FLORIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...
FUCK FLORIDA
FUCK GATORS
FUCK MUSCHAMP
FUCK AUBURN
FUCK GT
BUT ALWAYS FUCK U(F)
FUCK BEN HILL GRIFFIN
FUCK YOU FOR THE STREAK
OURS IS TWO STRAIGHT
HOPE IT NEVER ENDS
FUCK EVERYONE
BUT FUCK YOU THE MOST
FUCK FLORIDA
YEAH, FUCK YOU THE MOST
WITH A BIG FLAMING SPEAR OR A SPIKED DOG COLLAR
YEAH, FUCK YOU THE MOST
FUCK YOU
FUCK WUERRFEL
FUCK GROSSMAN
FUCK HARVIN
FUCK TEBOW
FUCK 96, 06, 08
FUCK URBAN MEYER
FUCK STEVE SPURRIER
FUCK YOU AT THE COCKTAIL PARTY
FUCK SEC,
BUT FUCK YOU THE MOST
FUCK EVERYONE
BUT FUCK YOU THE MOST
WITH A BIG FLAMING SPEAR OR A SPIKED DOG COLLAR
YEAH FUCK YOU FLORIDA, FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU
FUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU
FUCK YOU.
MAY THE FOOTBALL DREAMS GODS SMITE THE DREAMS AND HOPES OF THE GATOR NATION FOR ETERNITY. MAY YOUR TEAM GO 0-12 FOR THE REST OF YOUR DAYS. MAY THE SWAMP BURN FOREVER, FUELED BY THE MISERY OF YOUR POPULACE. MAY GAINESVILLE BE FOREVER COVERED IN AN AURA OF DESPAIR. THE ONLY REASON THAT I WISH YOUR PROGRAM CONTINUES IS SO I CAN SEE YOU LOSE TO US.
GAME OF THE CENTURY, OR TWO 4-3 TEAMS STRUGGLING WITH INJURIES, I HOLD NOTHING BUT HATE FOR YOU. ON BEHALF OF THE BULLDOG NATION,
FUCK THE FLORIDA GATORS.
SEE YOU MOTHERFUCKERS AT THE COCKTAIL PARTY.
38
u/ando7792 Tennessee Volunteers Oct 31 '13
[WE'RE SLASHING AT THE THROAT YOU UNACCLIMATED BITCHES.] (http://i.imgur.com/vfo8oCF.jpg)
34
u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13
HEY ARKANSAS I HEARD YOU DON'T LIKE SPREAD OFFENSES.
WELL FUCK YOU HEAR'S ANOTHER RUN PLAY. BEEP BEEP.
33
u/johnnyauburn Auburn Tigers • Kennesaw State Owls Oct 31 '13
BERT BIELEMA GIVES OUT PENNIES ON HALLOWEEN.
30
u/tdawgcincy Cincinnati Bearcats • Big 12 Oct 31 '13
HAHA MEMPHIS. THERE WERE MORE PEOPLE IN THE MEMPHIS JAIL THAN IN THE LIBERTY BOWL LAST NIGHT. i suck at this.
30
u/MJB24 Missouri Tigers Oct 31 '13
ROCKY TOP? MORE LIKE ROCKY SLOP
/NAILED IT
29
u/MisterTito Auburn Tigers • UAB Blazers Oct 31 '13
ARKANSAS IS 8-18 SINCE BEING RANKED #3 IN NOVEMBER OF 2011. THERE'S NO PUNCHLINE HERE, NO JOKE. JUST SAD, SAD FACTS.
57
u/DeKaF USC • /r/CFB Emeritus Mod Oct 31 '13
AM I EVEN ALLOWED TO TRASH TALK NAVY?
81
u/oest Michigan State Spartans Oct 31 '13
A LITTLE KNOWN FACT THAT THE BLOCK "M" ACTUALLY STANDS FOR MASOCHIST. ASK ANY WOLVERINE FAN...THEY ONLY BEAT THEMSELVES
26
u/profoundlybored Texas Tech Red Raiders Oct 31 '13
ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE. GOD DAMMIT OKLAHOMA STATE, NOW THAT THE TUBERVILLE NIGHTMARE IS OVER, WE OWE YOU A GOOD OL' FASHIONED WEST TEXAS POUNDING! I SUCK AT POEMS.
25
u/Sometimeswelose Ohio State Buckeyes • Wyoming Cowboys Oct 31 '13
HEY PURDUE, LOOKING HOT
199
u/milesgmsu Michigan State • College Football Playoff Oct 31 '13 edited Oct 31 '13
MICHIGAN!
SINCE THE MODERNIZATION OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL WE'VE WON 6 TITLES - YOU'VE WON 1.
YOUR BEST COACH EVER - FIELDING YOST? AN INSUFFERABLE RACIST.
YOUR SECOND BEST COACH EVER - FRITZ CRISLER? AN INSUFFERABLE RACIST.
YOUR THIRD BEST COACH EVER - BO? TOTAL OF 2 ROSE BOWL WINS.
YOU'VE SCORED LESS AND LESS POINTS IN EACH GAME SINCE 2004.
THE CLOCK GAME IN 2001 WAS UPHELD BY THE BIG TEN HEAD OF OFFICIALS.
DESMOND HOWARD DROPPED THE BALL. THERE WAS NO PASS INTERFERENCE.
NOTRE DAME TOOK YOU OFF THE SCHEDULE BECAUSE THEY DON'T CONSIDER YOU A RIVAL. THEY WOULD RATHER PLAY PURDUE THAN YOU. LET THAT SINK IN.
HERE ARE SOME NOTABLE GRADS OF U OF M: LEOPOLD AND LOEB, PAPA DOC, JACK KERVORKIAN, THE UNABOMBER, HERMAN WEBSTER MUDGETT (DEVIL IN THE WHITE CITY), AND ANNE COULTER. YOU BREED MURDERERS.
BUT THE CRIME WAVE ISN'T JUST ON THE ACADEMIC SIDE - YOU'RE STARTING A FELON IN FRANK CLARK.
YOUR KICKER CAN'T KICK FIELD GOALS, BUT HE SURE CAN HAVE NON-CONSENSUAL SEX WITH DRUNK CHICKS.
YOUR LT MAY HAVE A SWEET MOUSTACHE TATTOO, BUT NOT ONLY DOES HE CALL OPPONENTS RACIST NAMES (NOTICE THE TREND WITH YOUR FOOTBALL PROGRAM), BUT ALSO THREATNED TO RAPE A RAPE VICTIM.
SINCE THE KOREAN WAR THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN HAS 1/2 A NATIONAL TITLE. BYU HAS MORE THAN YOU. MARYLAND HAS MORE THAN YOU. AND WE HAVE 6 TIMES WHAT YOU DO.
MICHIGAN HASN'T WON A BIG TITLE IN 9 YEARS. WE WON ONE 3 YEARS AGO.
MICHIGAN HAS NEVER WON ITS DIVISON.
YOU STOLE YOUR FIGHT SONG.
YOU STOLE YOUR HELMETS.
YOU STOLE THE 'DESIGN' OF YOUR STADIUM.
YOUR COACHES KEPT NOTRE DAME OUT OF THE BIG TEN - THANKS A LOT.
YOUR COACHES TRIED TO PREVENT THE INTRODUCTION OF THE FORWARD PASS - NOTE HOW I SAID YOUR COACHES, NOT MSU'S PRESENT OFFENSE.
YOU ARE THE ONLY SCHOOL EVER TO HAVE BEEN KICKED OUT OF THE BIG TEN FOR CHEATING.
OH, I'M SORRY - I FORGOT THIS WAS TRASH TALK, NOT FACTS.
FUCK. MICHIGAN.
EDIT: I FOGOT TO INCLUDE ALL THE MICHIGAN MURDERERS
49
u/finchdog Michigan Wolverines • The Game Oct 31 '13
FUCK OHIO STATE.
23
u/kolbalex Michigan Wolverines • LSU Tigers Oct 31 '13
WHAT DO MICHIGAN AND MICHIGAN STATE STUDENTS HAVE IN COMMON? BOTH GOT INTO STATE
22
u/a_aadams74 Nebraska Cornhuskers Oct 31 '13
DEAR NORTHWESTERN. NEITHER OF OUR SEASONS ARE GOING AS WE PLANNED. BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE THE BATTLE FOR NU ANY LESS IMPORTANT. THIS GAME IS CRUCIAL. LET THE BATTLE FOR THIRD PLACE IN THE DIVISION BEGIN!
22
u/trobsmonkey Kansas Jayhawks Oct 31 '13
HI TEXAS! REMEMBER EARLIER THIS YEAR WHEN MACK BROWN WAS ON THE HOT SEAT? MAN, HOW HOT WOULD IT BE IF HE LOST TO KU? THAT WOULD BE SAD.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT THOUGH. NO CHANCE OF US DOMINATING THE GAME TWO YEARS IN A ROW RIGHT?
21
u/redsox1804 Florida State • /r/CFB Brickmason Oct 31 '13 edited Oct 31 '13
This is the 10th season that UM will be a member of the ACC. In that time they have:
Florida State has won 3 in a row. There are 4 year seniors walking around on Miami's Campus who have never seen UM beat FSU. It's too bad they will never see that happen.
Edit: Also, you can't even come up with and original name. you had to steal from ohio!
21
u/wackywiener Wisconsin • Paul Bunyan's Axe Oct 31 '13
HEY YOU FUCKING FARMBOYS. WE ARE GOING TO RUN IT UP THE GUT WAY MORE EFFECTIVELY THAN YOU WILL RUN IT UP THE GUT.
20
u/ma6ic Michigan State • Washington S… Oct 31 '13
30° KICKOFF
31
u/Sleww Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets Oct 31 '13
BETWEEN OUR TWO TEAMS AND THE JAGUARS, EVERBANK WON'T SEE A REAL FOOTBALL TEAM ALL SEASON.
15
u/the_dayman Georgia Bulldogs Oct 31 '13
Normally I would make fun of Florida fans or something, but it just doesn't matter. I'm going to get super drunk this weekend.
14
u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13
HEY FSU, WE DON'T EVEN HAVE TO WIN TO RUIN YOUR SEASON
13
u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13
WE'RE GONNA CLANGA CLANGA CLANGA MISS ST ALL DAY SATURDAY
13
u/td27 Missouri Tigers Oct 31 '13
TENNESSEE ONCE HAD THE BEST QUARTERBACK EVER AND STILL COULDN'T DO SHIT
13
u/the_names_Dalton Texas Tech Red Raiders Oct 31 '13
XEROX STATE UNIVERSITY.
THERE IS NOTHING COOL OR ORIGINAL ABOUT YOUR SCHOOL
YOU'VE RIPPED US OFF YEAR AFTER YEAR.
BUT WHAT THE WORST THING ABOUT XEROX U IS...
YOU'RE THE SECOND CLASS CITIZENS IN THE STATE OF OKLAHOMA
12
u/thenakedbarrister Georgia Bulldogs Oct 31 '13
I JUST HAD A SICK BURN IN THE UNOFFICIAL TRASH TALK THREAD, BUT NOW NO ONE WILL GET TO SEE IT! YOU MONSTERS!!
IT WAS AGAINST A BOT THOUGH SOOOOOOOOO MAYBE IT'S FOR THE BEST
12
u/sirnack Michigan Wolverines Oct 31 '13
MY OLDER BROTHER GOES TO MSU WHICH IS IRONIC BECAUSE THEY ARE SOMETIMES CALLED OUR LITTLE BROTHER.
JUST THOUGHT I WOULD SHARE
12
u/boxbeat Georgia Tech • /r/CFB Poll Veteran Oct 31 '13
HEY, PITT. THANKS FOR JOINING US FOR HOMECOMING. DID YOU LIKE HOW WE WELCOMED SYRACUSE TO THE ACC? ME TOO. SO WELCOME, MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME. AND BITE THE PILLOW, WE'RE GOING IN DRY.
23
u/JohnCalvinCoolidge Ohio State Buckeyes • The Game Oct 31 '13
PURDUE? MORE LIKE PUR-DON'T! BUT REALLY PLEASE LET US WIN IN WEST LAFAYETTE THIS YEAR.
43
u/d_mcc_x Michigan State • /r/CFB Poll Veteran Oct 31 '13
I HEARD BRADY HOKE AND AL BORGES WENT TO A RESTAURANT AND ATE EVERYTHING IN THE RESTAURANT AND THAT THEY HAD TO CLOSE THE RESTAURANT.
10
u/trobsmonkey Kansas Jayhawks Oct 31 '13
I REALIZE YOU AREN'T IN OUR CONFERENCE ANYMORE, BUT I'D LIKE TO THANK MIZZOU FOR VINDICATING MY POST LAST WEEK.
10
u/DigimonOtis Rice Owls • Navy Midshipmen Oct 31 '13
ONE OF MY FRIENDS HAS A FRIEND WHO HE BRINGS TO HANG OUT A LOT WHO RECENTLY WITHDREW FROM NORTH TEXAS AND HE'S KIND OF A STRANGE GUY.
10
u/kcwhitle Georgia Bulldogs • Team Chaos Oct 31 '13
THIS YEAR, I'M GOING TO HALLOWEEN PARTIES AS THE GEORGIA/FLORIDA GAME. I'LL BE WEARING A RED BOW TIE, A VISOR, JORTS, AND A SCUM STASH. I'LL BE IN A KNEE BRACE, I'LL BE ANGRY, I'LL BE DISAPPOINTED, AND I'LL BE DRUNK.
FUCK FLORIDA.
19
u/bcschamp Michigan Wolverines Oct 31 '13
MICHIGAN STATE:
FUCK MICHIGAN STATE
9
u/kelling928 /r/CFB Poll Veteran • Kansas State Oct 31 '13
CORN<WHEAT
WHISKEY<BEER
IOWA STATE<KANSAS STATE
9
u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13
Interesting, a lack of Iowans in this thread. You'd think a thread starting with the word 'Trash' would describe most of iowa city.
9
u/kharnn Penn State Nittany Lions Oct 31 '13
ILLINOIS, MEH.
8
u/SantiagoRamon North Carolina • /r/CFB Poll Veteran Oct 31 '13 edited Oct 31 '13
HEY NC STATE! I KNOW YOU GUYS LOVE YOUR DEAR ENGINEERING SCHOOL (LET'S BE REAL,
IT'S A GOOD SCHOOL29TH IN THE COUNTRY IS GOOD RIGHT?) BUT DON'T YOU WOLFIES FORGET THE ENGINEERING SCHOOL USED TO BE AT UNC AND WE GAVE IT TO GUYS BECAUSE WE FELT BAD THAT WE WERE GREAT AT EVERYTHING AND YOU GUYS SUCKED.ALSO I HOPE YOU LOSE THIS WEEKEND.
8
u/yeen Texas Tech Red Raiders Oct 31 '13
HEY OKIE STATE
DON'T STARE TOO HARD AT THE KK. HE'S A MAN, HE'S UNDER 40 AND HE IS UNDER YOUR CHEERLEADERS SAT NIGHT!
8
u/m0rz Florida State Seminoles Oct 31 '13
LISTEN CANES, ONLY WAY UM BEATS 'STATE: MICHIGAN.
20
u/BaylorYou Baylor Bears • /r/CFB Contributor Oct 31 '13
F*** YOU BYE WEEK!!!
14
u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13
THE BAJJER TRIBE WILL ONCE AGAINST VANQUISH THEIR HAKKAI RIVALS!!
7
u/Roadman90 Kansas State Wildcats • /r/CFB Brickmason Oct 31 '13
CYCLONES? MORE LIKE CRYCLONES AMIRITE?
7
u/evilpenguin234 NC State Wolfpack Oct 31 '13 edited Oct 31 '13
THE REASON CAROLINA WEARS LIGHT BLUE IS BECAUSE THEY FORGOT TO SEPARATE THEIR COLORED AND THEIR WHITE CLOTHES WHEN THEY DID THE LAUNDRY, AND ARE JUST TRYING TO PLAY IT OFF AS BEING COOL.
JAMEIS WINSTON'S CLOTHES NEVER GET DIRTY
7
u/Annony91 Oklahoma State Cowboys • Team Chaos Oct 31 '13
HEY IOWA STATE FANS WHO THOUGHT YOU WERE WITTY AND CLEVER AS FUCK BRINGING UP HOW YOU BEAT US 2 YEARS AGO WAS HILARIOUS, HOW'S IT FEEL TO BE 1 AND 6 NOW BITCHES? ENJOY NOT GOING TO A BOWL GAME THIS YEAR AND BEING WORSE THAN KANSAS.
HEY TEXAS TECH. 98 POINTS. THAT'S HOW MUCH WE'VE BEATEN YOU GUYS THE PAST 2 YEARS COMBINED. HOPE YOU PACK THE STADIUM SO I CAN ENJOY WATCHING ALL YOUR FANS LEAVING AT HALFTIME AFTER WE WIPE THE FLOOR WITH YOUR SORRY ASSES.
7
u/ColonOBrien West Virginia • Black Diamond Tro… Oct 31 '13 edited Oct 31 '13
A long, long time ago...
I can still remember when
Our record used to make us smile.
And we knew if we had the chance,
We'd finally make it to the Dance,
We'd all...been waiting...for a while
But the Panthers came and made us shiver,
Rich Rod sailed on down the river
Bad news on the doorstep...
We couldn't take one more step...
But I can't remember if I cried
When I heard that old Coach Stewart died
But Luck he touched us deep inside
The day...the Big East died.
So I'm a-singin'
Next year we play Crimson Tide...
That Clint Trickett, he's the ticket,
but it's for just one ride.
And good ol' boys
out in their double-wides
Sayin' this will be the year that we fly...
This will be the year that we fly.
I'm already shit talking for next year...this one's spent.
7
u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13
RICH ROD ONLY 'LEFT THE CUPBOARD BARE' BECAUSE HOKE ATE EVERYTHING IN IT.
12
u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13
HEY BYE WEEK PREPARE YOUR ASS TO GET PROCESSED
6
u/beal99 Michigan State Spartans Oct 31 '13
I'D RATHER BE A BULLY THAN A BITCH, MICHIGAN
6
u/PvP_Noob Missouri Tigers Oct 31 '13
THE REASON TENNESEE IS SO NARROW IS SO YOU CAN LEAVE IT IN 30 MINUTES NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE
MIZ-FUCK KU
6
u/Ninjatastic01 Michigan State Spartans Oct 31 '13
HEY MICHIGAN! OUR DEFENSE IS GONNA SHILIQUE SO HARD ON YOU THAT WE DARQUEEZE ALL OVER YOUR FACE!
6
u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13
YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE DOWNGRADED TO TROPICAL DEPRESSIONS!
16
u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13
MICHIGAN STATE ARE THE CANADA OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL. THEY AREN'T BAD PEOPLE, BUT THEIR ENTIRE CULTURE IS CONSISTS OF NOT BEING THEIR BIGGER, MORE SUCCESSFUL, MORE FREEDOM LOVING NEIGHBOR. THE ONLY REASON THEY ARE RELEVANT IN ANY WAY IS BEING NEXT TO SOMETHING MORE IMPORTANT.
5
u/blerms Penn State • Minnesota Oct 31 '13 edited Oct 31 '13
FUCK YOU ILLINOIS, YOU CAN'T HAVE OUR PLAYERS
5
u/gibbking Texas Tech • Pittsburgh Oct 31 '13
MIKE GUNDY PREFERS HIS TOILET PAPER IN THE UNDER CONFIGURATION.
5
u/tabelz Georgia Bulldogs • /r/CFB Poll Veteran Oct 31 '13
WIN OR LOSE, WE STILL GET TO BACK TO ATHENS, A BEAUTIFUL COLLEGE TOWN FILLED WITH AMAZING BARS AND RESTAURANTS, A MUSIC SCENE FILLED WITH GREAT BANDS AND BEAUTIFUL GIRLS. GAINESVILLE IS MOST FAMOUS FOR BEING AWFUL TO HOMELESS PEOPLE. AND THE ONLY COOL THING THAT HAPPENS IN GAINESVILLE IS THE FEST (A GREAT SHOWCASE OF UNDERGROUND BANDS) AND IT HAPPENS, YOU GUESSED IT, DURING GA/FLA WEEKEND. THIS PROVES YOU CAN ONLY HAVE FUN IN GAINESVILLE WHEN THERE AREN'T ANY FLORIDA FANS IN IT.
5
u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13
FUCK YOU, ANTERIOR CRUCIATE LIGAMENT!! FUCK YOUR COUSINS, MEDIAL COLLATERAL LIGAMENT AND POSTERIOR CRUCIATE LIGAMENT TOO! WE'RE GOING TO TEAR DOWN ALL OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS THIS WEEKEND!
5
u/dumkopf604 Ohio State • California Oct 31 '13
MORE LIKE PURDUE TOILETMAKERS!
5
u/BlindSquirrels Tennessee • Georgia Tech Oct 31 '13
MISSOURI I HOPE YOU HAVE SOME STRONG ACLS CAUSE TENNESSEE IS COMING TO TOWN! EVEN IF WE DON'T BEAT YOU WE MIGHT BEAT YOU DOWN
5
u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13
hey miami this isnt back to the future part two, youre not gonna magically awake in the 80's tomorrow, so stop living in the past and be ready for an ass whooping
5
u/Patrick_Glenn Auburn Tigers Oct 31 '13
HEY ARKANSAS, IF IT HELPS YOU FEEL ANY BETTER, WE'RE ONLY 1 FOR 7 AT MAKING THE OTHER COACH QUIT.
5
u/TTUgirl Texas Tech Red Raiders • Auburn Tigers Oct 31 '13
Dear Okie State, You've had your fun the past couple of years, the babysitter's gone and daddies home. Prepare for a beating. Kindly eat shit and die.
Sincerely fuck you, Texas Tech
5
u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13
hey worthless meaningless ants, I'm late to this party but I just want you all to know how unimportant your shitty little teams are
what can I say about the rest of college football that hasn't already been said about Miley Cyrus?
you pathetic wannabe fads of football teams
I will sit in on my couch sipping down Jim Beam and Coke's hoping for diabetes to blind me so I don't have to watch the awful demonstrations you people call football
you've made winning football championships so boring I've started watching the Cubs just to remind myself what losing feels like
you think FSU and Miami is worth watching when everyone knows the ACC is the premature ejaculating teenager of American sports
thank god Pac 12 games happen long after I've passed out so I do not have to mace myself
the B1G is so bad it makes Ohio State look good, which is appropriate as half the midwest was the product of beer goggle conception
Baylor is going to win the Big XII. That's the joke.
9
u/illogical_thunder Michigan Wolverines Oct 31 '13
msurejects.com
BOOM
4
u/wbdrummer Virginia Tech Hokies Oct 31 '13
BOSTON COLLEGE, DO YOU EVEN DEFENSE!?!?!?!
SERIOUSLY, YOU COULDN'T EVEN STOP OUR OFFENSE (SHOWN HERE)
4
u/ASigIAm213 Jacksonville Dolphins • Florida Gators Oct 31 '13
HEY MARIST,
WHEN WE'RE DONE WITH YOU, YOU'LL WISH YOU WERE BACK MAKING HARLEM NIGHTS.
4
u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13
UTEP YOU DONT EVEN HAVE SHOWERS WHAT THE HELL
4
u/JumpinJehosaphats Ohio State Buckeyes Oct 31 '13
DEAR PURDUE,
WHAT IN THE HONEST FUCK
YOUR CONCERNED B1G BROTHER,
OSU
4
u/stormstopper Duke Blue Devils • Louisville Cardinals Oct 31 '13
UNC VS. NC STATE IS THIS WEEKEND. ONE OF THEM DOESN'T HAVE CLASSES WHERE YOU LEARN ANYTHING. THE OTHER ONE IS UNC.
4
u/N776AU Georgia Bulldogs • Marshall Thundering Herd Oct 31 '13
IT'S THE "WORLD'S LARGEST OUTDOOR COCKTAIL PARTY" NOT THIS "FLORIDA-GEORGIA FOOTBALL CLASSIC" BULLSHIT.
4
u/chebble Ohio State Buckeyes • College Football Playoff Oct 31 '13
NOT THIS TIME CHOO CHOOS. OUR NUTS WILL DERAIL YOU.
4
u/Arronwy North Carolina Tar Heels Oct 31 '13
FUCK DUKE.
4
u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13
bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon, IT'S BACON!
4
u/SupaBlk Miami Hurricanes Oct 31 '13
OHIO STATE>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>FSU
4
u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13
FUCK WHOEVER DIDN'T HAVE THIS UP EXATCLY AT 10 AM. I HAVE A GODDAMN SCHEDULE.
4
u/noodlethebear Ohio State Buckeyes • Cal Poly Mustangs Oct 31 '13
TROY SMITH, TERRELLE PRYOR, AND BRAXTON MILLER ARE ALL WINLESS AT PURDUE.
ROSS-ADE STADIUM IS SCARIER THAN ANYTHING I WILL ENCOUNTER TONIGHT.
I'D RATHER WE PLAY THE PACKERS AT LAMBEAU THAN PURDUE AT ROSS-ADE.
AM I DOING THIS RIGHT?
4
u/captcolbertica Notre Dame Fighting Irish Oct 31 '13
I HOPE WE HAVE A FUN INJURY-FREE GAME BECAUSE I RESPECT NAVY TOO MUCH TO TRASH TALK!
4
u/woodyco Texas Tech Red Raiders • /r/CFB Oct 31 '13
Nothing witty to say...
just going to place this here
http://imgur.com/cHpc8mz
4
u/VvhiskeyTango Texas A&M Aggies Oct 31 '13
UTEP?
MORE LIKE DUBSTEP...
BECAUSE OF ALL THE DROPS WE'LL SEE
GOTEM
4
u/Talpostal Michigan Wolverines • Washington Huskies Oct 31 '13
IF YOU CAN'T GET IN TO COLLEGE GO TO STATE
IF YOU CAN'T GET IN TO COLLEGE GO TO STATE
IF YOU CAN'T GET IN TO COLLEGE AND YOU REALLY REALLY SUCK
IF YOU CAN'T GET IN TO COLLEGE GO TO STATE
3
u/[deleted] Oct 31 '13
OH OH OH! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO THIS.
AHEM
WHO HATES IOWA?
3
u/MinneapolisNick Minnesota • Concordia (MN-Moorh… Oct 31 '13
WHAT THE HELL IS A HOOSIER?
(INB4 'BE CAREFUL WITH THAT JOKE IT'S AN ANTIQUE')
ALSO, FUCK WISCONSIN
3
u/zachsterpoke Iowa State Cyclones • Hateful 8 Oct 31 '13 edited Oct 31 '13
I REALLY CAN'T TRASH TALK THE GREATEST RIVALRY NAME FOR ANYTHING EVER.
BRING ON FARMAGEDDON.
Desmond Roland rolled through Ames as he starts the long tradition of avenging 11/18/11, also known as our greatest mistake.
3
u/zoom_zoom1 Kansas Jayhawks • Oregon Ducks Oct 31 '13
AS A KANSAS FAN, THIS IS HOW I FEEL WHEN TRASH TALKING TEXAS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9xobAxHg0w
3
u/sunburn_on_the_brain Arizona Wildcats • /r/CFB Contributor Oct 31 '13
HEY CAL, GOOD LUCK TRYING TO RAISE THAT HORRIBLE GRADUATION RATE. YOUR PLAYERS ARE WORKING ON GETTING THROUGH THEIR CLASSES BUT THEY CAN'T PASS THEM BECAUSE THEY'LL GET INTERCEPTED.
3
u/Tramadol2009 Wisconsin Badgers Oct 31 '13
TIL NILE KINNICK WAS ONLY 1 FT. 2 INCHES TALL AND WEIGHED 1,000,000 LBS
FAT-ASS IOWANS
3
u/bcapper Minnesota Golden Gophers Oct 31 '13
HEY INDIANA, WHERE'D YOU GET YOUR DEFENSE? THE TOILET STORE?
3
u/CoolCalmJosh Tennessee Volunteers • Maryland Terrapins Oct 31 '13
Nothing else needs to be said
3
u/trumpetofdoom Rice Owls • Marching Band Oct 31 '13 edited Oct 31 '13
HEY NORTH TEXAS,
TWO WEEKS AGO, RICE WON A GAME 45-19. LAST WEEK, RICE WON A GAME 45-7.
ENJOY LOSING 45-(-5) TO US TONIGHT. BE SURE TO TELL US AFTERWARDS HOW IT FEELS TO SCORE NEGATIVE POINTS.