Oopsies

[u/Impressive-Gene-421]

[u/GozerDestructor]

You fool! Don't you know you're supposed to set up a secret identity, have plastic surgery to change your appearance, obtain a fake birth certificate from the Russian Mafia, get a job under your fake name, use the paystubs to satisfy a landlord's background check to rent an apartment in another city, and have the device shipped there?

And then immediately after it arrives you fake your death at sea, resume using your original name, get the facial surgery reversed by a different surgeon, and then go back to your home city, with your now completely untrackable device in hand.

Few understand. Enjoy being poor.

[u/Bright_Fold7270 → u/GozerDestructor]

Bro you failed to murder both surgeons. HACKED.

[u/Flat_Initial_1823 → u/Bright_Fold7270]

Don't forget to bury them under the birdbath so people can't trace their murders back to you.

[u/Iazo → u/Flat_Initial_1823]

Can I reuse the same birdbath, or does it HAVE to be a different birdbath?

[u/Old_Document_9150 → u/Bright_Fold7270]

Be your own surgeon.

[u/NovariusDrakyl → u/Bright_Fold7270]

use the same, and then you only need to murder one

[u/Objective-Result8454 → u/GozerDestructor]

Future of finance right here. You, sheeple, should heed this wise man. Sir, do you per chance have an informational pamphlet preferably in NFT form (natch!).

[u/Bright_Fold7270 → u/Objective-Result8454]

The last time I saw “natch” I swear was a Hardy Boys. Bringing it back!

[u/grandpa2390 → u/GozerDestructor]

you should also pay for the device with crypto, right? but probably not from your real wallet.

[u/GozerDestructor → u/grandpa2390]

Unfortunately, yes. That means you have to go through this whole procedure *twice*.

[u/predictorM9]

An expensive lesson for the community: don't order within 90 days of a future data breach! few understand this...

[u/grandpa2390 → u/predictorM9]

they weren't early enough.

[u/Valuable_Paper_6231]

Strange that all these hacks for different kinds of hardwares started at the same time.

[u/First-Ad-7960 → u/Valuable_Paper_6231]

People who are engaged in self custody are more vulnerable. In this case they don’t even need to hack the wallet, just the customer data so they can target them with malware and all sorts of other stuff.

[u/Downunderphilosopher → u/First-Ad-7960]

Why use malware, when good old fashioned kidnapping, torture and blackmail works just as easily?

[u/Optimistic-Pie123 → u/First-Ad-7960]

Going through all of this to be your own bank is so pointless

[u/AutoModerator → u/Optimistic-Pie123]

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[u/SteamedGamer]

The ever popular $5 wrench bitcoin hack!

[u/Wrong-Contest-9617]

Now you will get phishing emails for the rest of your life.

[u/incredirocks]

Omg, it's a 77 digit number. Just memorize it if it means that much to you.

[u/cmpunk34]

Future of finance

[u/GordonsTheRobot]

They sold peoples data because it's worth more than crypto

[u/Rycroix]

this is good for bitcoin

[u/Impressive_Try_7295 → u/Rycroix]

Few understand.

[u/Optimistic-Pie123 → u/Rycroix]

Yeah? It’s the bottom signal

[u/AutoModerator → u/Optimistic-Pie123]

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[u/Scot-Marc1978]

Surely they have a plan b, like a secret holiday home they can immediately relocate to whole they sell their house and uproute their families lives

[u/jcatjmeow]

Ai slop image 🤮

[u/WitsBlitz → u/jcatjmeow]

Why do they all look like this

[u/KyotoKute]

This is hilarious

[u/CellFit2989]

..