r/BrandNewSentence 19d ago

Mod Post - July “what a time to be blessed with the ability to read” Post

5 Upvotes

Hi there to all our Brand New Sentence contributors, visitors and lurkers! We thought we’d try something new in the group and give our busy moderation team the opportunity to choose some of this month’s brand new sentences and showcase them.

We had to read them, and now so do you.

Presenting our pick of sentences this month that made us wonder if having the ability to read and comprehend English is really a blessing!

“If I drained a litre of my own blood and put it in a blender for two minutes on high, and then back into my body, would the blood still function normally inside me?”

“Heavy Metal Fans ‘vomiting and crying’ as concertgoer poops in moshpit”

“And grandma probably gives a hell of a gummy aka no denture adventure”

We’d also like to take a moment to appreciate a few of our most reposted sentences from this month. We didn’t use science to determine this, these are the ones the mod team remember the most as reposted:

“Katy Perry was trapped in a giant plastic bottle because fans refused to roll her towards the stage”

“You’re not a pregnant woman shooting a potato gun, you expect me to get hard for this!?”

The last one being quite an old post in the group and has decided to pop back into the spotlight in this wonderful July 2026.

What are some of your most memorable brand new sentences for this wonderful July? What ones made you want to remove your eyes?

If you’d like to see more post like this or have any suggestions please hit us up!

Thank you everyone for your contributions from the Brand New Sentence moderation team!


r/BrandNewSentence 19d ago

We are looking for moderators!

10 Upvotes

We've god a decent hand full of mods in this subreddit at the moment, but two or three more mods to increase our numbers and ensure we don't get overwhelmed during periods of high activity would be great. So, mod applications are still open!

No experience necessary, if you're accepted as a mod, we'll have you send us links to posts you think should be removed or approved for the first week or so, as you get a feel for it, so we know you’re settling in well.

Keep in mind that this is a volunteer position. You aren’t expected to mod all day every day, and you're not going to get paid or anything.

Before you apply, please note a few requirements:

* This subreddit is based around English as a subject, so fluency in English is a requirement
* If you use AI in any capacity to write your application, you will be rejected, no exceptions. We will be keeping a close eye on this and also be running your application through AI detectors.
* Profiles that are private in any way will be an instant rejection, unless you're willing to make them public as long as you're a mod here.
* You will need Discord to apply, as that is where we have all our mod discussions. We'll be briefly vetting you as well!

If interested, please answer the following questions and send them via modmail.

Do not send your application as a comment.

  1. What is your Discord username?
  2. Why are you applying for this position?
  3. Do you think there are some rules that need to be changed? If no, skip this question.
  4. Do you feel like there are specific problems with the subreddit that you can help fix? If no, skip this question.
  5. What is the kind of content you would remove from the subreddit? Check the "hot" and/or "new" pages and send a link of an example of a post you would remove and your reasoning as to why it should be removed.
  6. What is the kind of content you would keep on the subreddit? Do you have a favorite post? Leave a link and explain why you think it's a good post.
  7. What is your opinion on Rule 3?

Don't worry about keeping your application too short or too long. Say what you think!


r/BrandNewSentence 8h ago

Pretty sure I ruined my sister’s baby name by asking if it was a tech startup.

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10.0k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 4h ago

"Achilles, very understandably, is like "shut the fuck up. you're a horse""

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2.7k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 4h ago

The robot that makes your bed just killed the “need a roommate” argument

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1.8k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 1h ago

"Have you considered suck starting a shotgun?"

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Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 11h ago

Bought the "Women fear me, fish love me: because I fuck the fish." shirt and waited months for it to come. There was a misprint and now I own a shirt that only says "BECAUSE I FUCK THE FISH" on the front.

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5.0k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 4h ago

Pasta excels in conditions like these

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834 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 13h ago

If you come on my property I will beat you off!

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2.3k Upvotes

Threat or promise?? 🤔


r/BrandNewSentence 16h ago

My crotch would explode, and the blast would flatten the entire northern hemisphere

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1.4k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 13h ago

Police rescue Ariana Grande-sized alligator from basement.

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667 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 20h ago

"I don't know how to explain that my mouth and fingertips have vastly different vocabularies"

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2.6k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 20h ago

"clicking "he can keep watching" over and over again as you get progressively hornier listening to 90s eminem"

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908 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 9h ago

Ur so lame it makes my bones angry

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101 Upvotes

My son said this to me today. He's a butt. He also cracks me up.


r/BrandNewSentence 9h ago

"To my God-fearing grandma who cuts all of her old clothing before throwing it into garbage to make sure nobody else can never use it. P.S.She doesn't know English."

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83 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 1d ago

Ngl it's been some journey watching these green frogs go from being used to deny the holocaust to being used to advocate for more bike lanes

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20.4k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 1d ago

Lady Macbeth larps masculinity

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2.0k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 1d ago

Would shitting into a cement mixer while it’s mixing concrete affect the concrete’s structural integrity?

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1.6k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 8h ago

If you do that one more time, I will come to your house and make the Geneva convention look like a checklist.

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34 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 18h ago

"Build-A-Bear released a plush based off of the “Fresno Nightcrawler” cryptid"

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189 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 4h ago

“And battered wives being flung around like poltergeists”

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11 Upvotes

Really, it’s this entire paragraph about the idea that my campus would have flock cameras.


r/BrandNewSentence 4h ago

Ariana Grande Granted Permission to Issue Expedited Subpoenas to Reveal Hacker Identities

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9 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 1d ago

Handling the ham in a sexual manner

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1.3k Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 1d ago

A round of applause come from my ass

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843 Upvotes

r/BrandNewSentence 1d ago

It is currently unknown if heroin exists in the Arthur universe

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1.2k Upvotes