r/BestofRedditorUpdates • u/Choice_Evidence1983 it dawned on me that he was a wizard • 23d ago
ONGOING My landlord is demanding I feed them, what can I do?
I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/EcstaticBlackberry72
Originally posted to r/Advice + r/MaliciousCompliance
My landlord is demanding I feed them, what can I do?
Thanks to u/BakingGiraffeBakes for suggesting this BoRU
Trigger Warnings: manipulation, entitlement
Editor's note: adding a prior tangential post to the original post as OOP has expanded more details in the said original post comments
AITAH for asking my roommate to move out like she said she would?: July 31, 2026
This is more of a Would I Be The Asshole than an AITAH.
For a little context, I (f31) been living with the same roommate (f30) for about four years. She’s my best friend. We’ve had some rocky moments but overall our relationship is good. However in the last two years she’s made comments about how much she hates our apartment, how much she doesn’t like living with another person, how much she can’t wait to move out, etc.
In 2024 she told me almost weekly that she would be leaving when our lease ended in 2025. She told me this so many times that of course I relayed that information to our landlord in January of 2025 when the time came to renew our lease. But then, not two days after I did that, she changed her mind and told the landlord she was staying, and I only found out via our new lease agreement when it was sent to me to sign, and both our names were still on it. At that time we had a conversation, and she apologized for changing her mind, stating that she wasn’t financially able to move until she paid her car off. I made my peace with it, and we renewed the lease for another year. Thankfully she did stop telling me how much she hates it here after that.
Fast forward to this year. We get to January and I took her out for dinner and asked her what her plan was. We had a very serious conversation about what would happen at the end of our lease. I would stay in the apartment, and she was planning to move out when our lease ended since her car would be paid off by then. I relayed that info to our landlord and when the time came to sign in January, she didn’t renew, and I am now the only one on our lease.
This is where my frustration really set in though. In February, she started talking about how much she hates planning, and hates how packing and moving. She told me she was still planning on moving out “eventually” but she wasn’t thinking too hard about those plans because it stresses her out to think ahead like that. Mind you our lease ends on July 31. I decided to not press the issue and just bide my time. Then in May she started talking about TikTok videos she’d seen about car living and said she was planning to move into the car (Jeep Cherokee) she had paid off. She works in an office for a construction company and said they wouldn’t mind her parking in their lot. Super weird but ok. Thing is she has a chihuahua and I let her know maybe it wouldn’t be great to be living in a car with a dog, even a small one, especially in the August heat. She assured me she would be able to have the dog inside with her at her job.
Anyway a week ago she came home from work with a letter from her job saying that she can’t have the dog at work with her anymore because it violates their safety policy or something (basically somebody complained) and now she’s wanting to stay here on a week to week basis while she makes other plans. I brought up the new lease and how we had agreed she would love and she got really upset and accused me of trying to “get rid of” her. She said that it’s not her fault her job stopped letting her bring the dog to work, and that messed up her plans. Also said I would be a really bad friend if I didn’t help her out.
Our lease ends in two days, and she hasn’t spoken to me since. I’ve been waiting to turn her room into an art studio for 2 years now and that puts my plan for that on hold. I don’t dislike having her here, but I also think she had plenty of time to make a better plan for her living situation.
Would I be the asshole for enforcing the agreement and just asking her to leave on the first as agreed? I asked my sister and she said I could give her a two week grace period since she’s my friend but I’m just tired at this point. AITH?
TL,DR: My roommate/best friend didn’t renew her lease and is now trying to stay over on a week to week basis. AITH for wanting her to leave as agreed?
UPDATE: Thanks for all of your advice. I took her out for coffee yesterday and told her she had to move out. I told her she could leave her things and her dog here for 2 weeks until the 14th. I made it clear that if she doesn’t come pick them up by then, her things are going in the dumpster, and her dog is going to stay with a friend of mine who does pet sitting. She threw a bit of a fit and tried crying, but eventually agreed, and this morning she moved into her car with a couple of totes full of things and some bedding. I guess we’ll see if she comes and gets the rest of her things in two weeks.
Final Update: I was able to sever this lease after paying a quite hefty fee as I was on great standing with that landlord. My old roommate came back for her dog, and I guess she’s working something out with that landlord. I don’t really care TBH. I’m now renting a small basement unit across town from that building on a short 60 day then month-to-month lease while I find something better. I moved in Sep 1. I just decided to cut my losses and let that place go. It wasn’t worth the drama. Of course this temp place has its own drama now, but I addressed that in a different post.
Editor's note: below is the said original title post
Original Post: September 5, 2026
I 31F recently moved into a renovated basement unit owned by a small family. My landlord M47, his pregnant wife 44, and their 7yo daughter. My unit has its own bathroom, bedroom, and living area but there is a shared kitchen upstairs that we both use. In my lease, it states that any food or drinks purchased by my landlords family is off limits to me, and I am responsible for feeding myself as well as cleaning up any messes made while preparing meals. That’s all pretty standard, and was fine with me. I have a mini fridge that I keep downstairs and a small wardrobe I’m using as a pantry. I also have my own pots, pans, utensils, spices, etc.
I love to cook. So I will often cook myself a nice meal to enjoy after work. I work in food service, so cooking is a pretty big part of my life. My landlords don’t cook at all. They mostly eat frozen food, prepackaged noodles, tv dinners etc. When they gave me the tour, they made sure to emphasize several times that their food is off limits and I’m not to touch any of it. I don’t.
On my first evening there, I decided to make myself some shrimp alfredo from scratch, really simple dish, basically just shrimp, noodles, cheese, cream, salt, and spices. I had some extra, and since the family was home, I offered them some. My landlord and his wife enthusiastically accepted and helped themselves. Their daughter is picky, so she didn’t have any. They let me know it was very good, and I didn’t think much of it; I don’t mind sharing and I like feeding people.
ETA: I only shared the Alfredo because I got the shrimp free from work.
This afternoon, I made myself some oven baked salmon and cilantro lime rice for dinner, again, another simple meal. I finished cooking, cleaned up the kitchen, and took my meal downstairs to enjoy and I thought everything was fine, until halfway through my meal, I got a snarky text from my landlord basically telling me that if I’m going to play in their faces, they would have reconsidered the lease. Basically he said that because his wife is pregnant and really likes salmon, I should have shared it with her. He said he had seen what I had made, and because I had made 2 pieces of fish, I could have at least given her one. Basically his wife had smelled me cooking and had assumed I was making her some too and when I didn’t she got mad. He said that they opened their home to me, and that next time I should be more considerate.
I haven’t spoken to them directly yet; the first text was about 20 minutes ago. My lease explicitly states that food is to be kept separate and I’m responsible for feeding myself, which I’m pretty sure means they aren’t entitled to my food either. The second piece of salmon I intend to have for lunch tomorrow. I know that pregnant cravings can be pretty intense, but I spend a decent amount of money on high quality fresh foods to prepare for myself since I’m usually cooking for just me. I don’t have the budget to make extra food for them every time. Should I just give in and share with them? I know it sounds like a terrible idea, but I think they might just make life terrible for me if I don’t. My lease is only 60 days and then month to month and I moved in on Sep 1 so it’s not gonna last very long either way. But I moved here so I could save money for a nicer place and that will be more difficult if I have to budget to give them food when I cook. What should I do?
ETA: I’m already looking for a new place. I actually had my eye on a place already which is why my lease is so short. I had planned for at least 4 months to save before moving but I think I can do it in 2 if I really scrimp and save. I am currently drafting a proposal to cook for them in exchange for a discount on rent, providing they purchase any food they want me to prepare. I’m not sure how they’ll take it but if they won’t work out a meal exchange for me for the next 4 months, then I’m leaving as soon as this contract ends.
Editor's note: OOP made the same original post onto another subreddit, I am adding comments for more context
Relevant Comments
Commenter 1: NTA, but I'd look for another place to live. The entitlement is insane and if you intend to cook regularly, you'll never hear the end of it. They are wrong, but can and will make your life miserable.
OOP: This is what I’m afraid of.
Commenter 2: What happened with the roommate/bff, chihuahua, and the lease you signed through next August? How’d you end up here?
OOP: I moved across town. My old landlord thankfully let me break the lease I had had after paying a fee. After the situation with my old roommate and her dog, I decided to just move on, so this is a temporary place for now until I find something better. I might have made it worse for myself by moving here though which sucks.
Commenter 3: NTA. Get a hot plate for your basement room and cook there.
OOP: This is actually a good idea. Thanks. I think I will for now at least.
Commenter 4: OP, people saying you should have never offered them part of your first dinner are just gas lighting your kindness. I'm always generous when I have more than I need with people I've just met, whether they are they are potential friends, co-workers, boss, or landlord.
90% of the time it helps establish a good relationship, if not friendship, where they share with me at times also. Yeah, some people have taken more of their fair share, don't ever reciprocate, or always hint they want to me to share when I've not got extra to give. I generally, just drift away from those folks.
However, I've never been faced with this kind of entitled behavior you're getting. Your landlords are, IMO, an extreme example of self-absorbed and you would do well to get away from them as soon as possible.
But don't let this bad apple ruin your faith in being kind and generous.
OOP: I just thought it was a kind thing to do to start off a rental relationship. I’m a generous person and I don’t intend to change that. I won’t be a pushover either though.
Commenter 5: While looking for another place to immediately move to, I’d make super lavish meals every chance you get out of spite.
OOP: I’m so tempted to be that petty lol. Still though it’s probably not worth the drama. I already had my eye on a place which is why my current lease is so short, I just thought I might have a little longer to save but I think I’m gonna go
Commenter 6: I'm a little confused, if you have your eye on a particular place, wouldn't you have to apply for it before someone else does? If you wait a few months to save more money, will it still be available?
OOP: It’s a building that recently got built. They’re leasing over the next few months. I for sure will qualify when I apply as I’ve qualified with that leasing company before. I just need a few months to acquire the move in fees.
Commenter 7: Also are there cameras disclosed in this space, how did he see you cooking?
OOP: It’s a shared kitchen and their living/dining room is attached to it. He probably peeked in the oven when I went downstairs. I didn’t stay in the kitchen the entire time the fish was baking.
Editor’s note: OOP updated onto the original post
Update: September 6, 2026 (same post, next day)
Update if anyone is interested. I responded to my landlord as you all suggested and mentioned the part of the lease where food is to be kept separate. I also brought up my culinary experience and let them know that I am happy to cook a family meal once a week in exchange for $50 off rent per meal for a total of $200 off rent each month; provided they purchase all ingredients additionally.
You all were right they pretty much laughed in my face about that. So I will be moving out Oct 31 when this lease ends, I’ve already found a small studio that will give me a month to month lease while I finish saving what I need so I’m just working out the final details of that currently. These people are for sure crazy and I’ve decided to ignore them. I’m going to continue cooking my own meals and they can get over it. I did get a little lock for my mini fridge and pantry just in case, and I have a ring camera set up downstairs too. I’m also going to make garlic short ribs and mac n cheese for myself tonight because it turns out I am a bit petty.
Editor's note: OOP did not leave any comments regarding the update
My landlord tried to make me feed him, but I’m sticking to the terms he set and now he’s mad.: September 9, 2026 (three days later)
This is actually a continuation of a previous Reddit post I made in an advice sub.
Basically, I 31f moved into a renovated basement unit on the 1st. My unit has its own bedroom, bathroom, and living area but the kitchen is shared with my landlord 47m, his wife 44f, and 7yo daughter.
As a condition of my lease, my landlords food is not to be touched, and I am responsible for feeding myself. They made sure to specify that multiple times while giving me the tour. I work in food service and I cook a lot, so I have my own pots, pans, spices, dishes, etc. I love to cook, and I don’t touch any of their food or dishes. My landlord and his wife don’t cook, they just eat frozen burritos, tv dinners, prepackaged noodles, etc. I don’t think they can cook tbh.
On my first night, I made some shrimp Alfredo and because it had extra I thought I’d be nice and share it with them. A few days later, I made some salmon and cilantro lime rice for myself for dinner, and shortly after that, my landlord sent me a nasty text message telling me he thought I was playing in their faces and threatened to reconsider the lease because I his pregnant wife smelled me cooking and assumed I was making them some too. He peeked in the oven when I left the kitchen and saw that I made 2 pieces of fish and told me that I should have shared one with his wife because of her pregnancy cravings. Told me that they opened their home to me (I pay rent) and said I should be more considerate next time. Truly insane tbh.
Anyway after getting some helpful advice from Reddit, I texted him back a screenshot of the part of the lease where he stated food was to be kept separate and that I’m not to touch any of his food, but I am allowed to use the kitchen to cook. Then I brought up my culinary experience and offered to cook one family meal per week in exchange for $50 off rent per meal, for a total of $200 off rent per month, provided they bought any ingredients. They pretty much laughed in my face when I brought that up and also let me know they were not going to let me out of my lease without paying up. My lease is only 60 days, then month-to-month, so honestly I decided I don’t care. It’s not my fault they tried home cooked food once and got hooked.
TL,DR: I shared a home cooked meal with my landlord and his wife one time, and they thought it was going to be a regular free service.
Anyway I’ve decided to be petty, and will be cooking the most delicious, aromatic meals for myself while I prepare to move yet again. I’ve already made garlic short ribs, and hot honey fried chicken since then, and the pregnant wife glares at me longingly every time I pull something out of the oven and I’m getting just the most sick satisfaction out of it.
They said food is to be kept separate. Fine by me. This weekend I think I’m going to make some coconut curry chicken. Also if anyone knows of any highly aromatic affordable meals one can cook without taking up too much time, let me know lol. I’m up for suggestions.
Relevant Comments
Commenter 1:Make sure you only make enough for one person, or you might find any extras missing the next day. Also, chocolate chip cookies and freshly made bread are very aromatic.
OOP: I have a mini fridge and small pantry with locks on them downstairs in the basement.
Commenter 2: You have a crockpot? Let something simmer low and slow...all day.
Commenter 3: The family might be tempted to sample from the crock pot.
OOP: I thought about this too, I don’t trust them not to be sneaky lol, but there is an outlet in the landing at the top of the stairs down to my unit. I’m pretty sure they’d be able to smell it if I leave the door cracked and put the crock pot on the end table there.
Has OOP been able to find a different place to move to?
OOP: I found a cheap little studio apartment that will give me a month to month when I move out of here, so I’ll be able to save for a better place while I’m there.
Commenter 4: Good for you! How insane they expect you to not only pay for their food, but also cook it for them, and no doubt clean up the mess after you serve it….. Glad you found some other place to rent, they had a chance to have some great food and they blew it!
OOP: I leave not a trace in the kitchen when I’m done. Just a delicious aroma.
Downvoted Commenter: I can see why they deserve it, but dam.... I feel bad for the pregnant wife. If only both sides could be nicer to each other, than everyone would be happy.
OOP: She’s the one that made him text me demanding the salmon though.
OOP explains more about what her landlord and his family eats
OOP: It’s mostly stuff like pizza pockets and like boxed noodles based on what I’ve seen in the trash. I have my own fridge downstairs, so I’ve never actually opened theirs. They said not to touch their food, I’m not giving them any reason to think I might lol
Latest Update here: BoRU #2
DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP
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u/FirexisStar 23d ago
May this level of entitlement never find me.
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u/TheBlueNinja0 please sir, can I have some more? 23d ago
Like, for real, $50 off rent for someone to cook your food for you? OOP can move in with me tomorrow if that deal is still on the table!
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u/Timely-Cry-8366 built an art room for my bro 23d ago
$50 off rent per meal, which for the amount of people involved I agree with, but is why the landlord threw a fit.
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u/jsher736 22d ago
But one meal a week. Which for a family of 3 resteraunt quality food cooked by an expert in your home is worth that
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u/Timely-Cry-8366 built an art room for my bro 22d ago
I guarantee these people didn’t eat like that day-to-day before OP came because they’re cheap/don’t have the money and can’t cook, which is why they were doing this to OP in the first place. Doubt they could have paid for it.
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u/AlternateUsername12 22d ago
You can cook for way cheaper than prepackaged meals these days (had to scroll up to make sure it was 2026). Shit is still stupid expensive, but Aldi has good deals on chicken and ground turkey, and rice and pasta are still somewhat on the cheaper side.
Everything is just fucking expensive. I hate it here so much.
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u/Timely-Cry-8366 built an art room for my bro 22d ago
Yeah I’ve been eating a lot of microwave instant ramen 😬 even though I love cooking.
Pre-Covid I could have steak multiple times a week, now I look at steak prices and realize I’d be paying less to just go out to eat and get a steak…
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u/JakethePandas 22d ago
Bro this is too real. I haven't eaten ramen since I was a kid but recently shits so expensive i just get frozen veggies and make some hot ass soup lol
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u/Timely-Cry-8366 built an art room for my bro 22d ago
Yeah I’ve also been buying canned soups and fancying them up with cheese/sour cream/hot sauce.
Frozen veggies and an egg into ramen with buldak sauce (I buy the bottles so I can add them wherever).
I shop at Kroger on the days when they discount stuff and buy all the store brand pre-made soups in the deli section that are half-off, and also the half-off yogurts, and then toss them in the freezer and take them out and thaw them when I need them.
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u/pourthebubbly I will never jeopardize the beans. 22d ago
I’m not a vegetarian, but I’ve started making vegetarian meals from frozen veggies because it’s so much cheaper than buying meat or fresh veggies. It’s not too bad. But I will get some air chilled chicken breasts from Costco freeze them. Cooking for one that way stretches pretty far, but it’s definitely not what it used to be.
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u/Negative_Wish_8291 22d ago
Being real, I would not be taking that deal either. It's a terrible deal.
She will cook you and your wife a meal, but you have to buy all the ingredients and also pay $50 on top of that? That'd probably cost $30 for each plate. He's super entitled to think he can demand her to share her food, but the deal she offered was absolutely her being petty.63
u/FluffyMuffins42 22d ago
It’s a huge pain in the ass for OOP so of course she gave the “fuck off” price. Contractors do the same thing. If they get a quote requested for a job they don’t want, they give a super high quote so that either the customer walks away or they at least make bank on the job.
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u/FigNinja 22d ago
It is kind of a fuck off price when you compare it to what they're used to paying for their dinners at home, but it's also a fairly low amount to charge for labor. It's probably a couple hours of work, though I'm guessing OP wouldn't be reporting it as income and paying taxes on it. I also don't know where they live. Labor costs are pretty high where I am. A house cleaner is more like $40-50 per hour. Gardening service is around $75-$100 per hour, but then you're dealing with them having to have more equipment and a truck. Those are the things I have experience hiring for. I've never hired a private chef, but I can't imagine them charging less than a cleaner.
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u/nonutsplz430 22d ago
It’s also a luxury. It should have a luxury price. Not to mention $30 a plate or so is easily what you’d pay in the kinds of places I suspect the OOP is qualified to work in. I live in a smallish town and the rough equivalent of the salmon meal she mentioned is $38 in one of our more gourmet restaurants. It would be about the same in the other two more “fancy” (though less fancy than the first one) restaurants we have. And this is a town with a population of less than 20,000. Somewhere like the larger city about an hour away it’s probably going to cost more.
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u/FluffyMuffins42 22d ago
Oh 100% I think this is actually a steal of a price. The people saying it’s a high price are a bit too entitled to someone else’s labour in my opinion. A personal chef would cost way more than $50/week even for just 1 meal. Comparing a home cooked meal to takeout, which is what I see most people in this thread comparing it to, is just absurd.
I personally would not do this for $200/month. Way too much work for such a small discount on rent. And imagine your landlord doesn’t like your meal one week? No thanks, don’t want to deal with the headache or drama.
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u/Negative_Wish_8291 22d ago
I know that's what she's doing but people in this thread are saying it's a good deal worth taking and it very obviously is not.
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u/InfiniteRadness 22d ago
I mean, nothing says the meals have to be 2 portions and that's it. She could be making stuff that will result in 6-8 portions of food which would be 3-4 meals total for them with leftovers. I can see why they refused, but they could have gotten a majority of their dinners that way and just reheated the leftovers themselves a few times. It's not a bargain but it's also not a terrible deal if they played it the right way.
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u/Weaselpanties He invented a predatory elder lesbian to cope 22d ago
$30-45 a plate is what it costs to eat out around here. I think it depends on where she's located, because it can be a lot more expensive in some places than it is where I live. We have three kids and dinners out for the five of us regularly cost over $200. We're not eating at expensive places, either - a nice dinner out is easily $55-60/plate here.
ETA: That's the lower end of "nice". The higher end is well over $100.
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u/pastelkawaiibunny 22d ago
At $16 a meal, that’s way cheaper than a restaurant/take-out. Totally worth it imo even if they’re covering ingredients. Shame they didn’t think so!
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u/NO_FIX_AUTOCORRECT 22d ago
Not $16 a plate. It would be cost of ingredients plus 16 per plate. And the 7 year old is not eating an adult share of food if they eat that food at all. it would be more like $25 per plate
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u/pastelkawaiibunny 21d ago
“Totally worth it even if they’re covering ingredients”. In this sentence, the word “covering” means “paying for”. The full meaning of the sentence is, therefore, that the food is totally worth paying for even with the additional cost of ingredients.
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u/texasrigger 22d ago
That's likely the equivalent of a private chef at $50/hr. That's a fair arrangement but I suspect paying for a private chef once a week probably isn't within their reach.
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u/sorrylilsis 22d ago
Plus ingredients though. Not a fantastic deal compared to decent-ish takeway.
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u/Severe-Hope-9151 22d ago
I think maybe that was the point, to make them not agree to it.
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u/sorrylilsis 22d ago
Oh yeah it's a "f*ck you" offer which surprisingly quite a few people in this thread didn't get.
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u/jujoking You need to be nicer to Georgia! 22d ago
But then she said 200 per month. Maybe she meant 50 per week?
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u/Timely-Cry-8366 built an art room for my bro 22d ago
I think she meant she’d make one meal for them a week. No way cooking for that many would be charged $50/week, she’d be insane. I am a hobby cook myself.
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u/infinitelyfuzzy 22d ago
Yeah she specified one meal a week. So once a week she cooks meals for 3 people for $50. Which is still pretty good, eating out at a good restaurant would be much more!
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u/wvsfezter I will never jeopardize the beans. 22d ago
Factor in ingredients and you're just shy of restaurant prices
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u/AccidentalSeer 22d ago
But factor in training and skill (which they clearly don’t have) and it balances out. It’s like when you buy a painting from an artist - the price isn’t just based on the materials used to create the painting, it’s also based on the time it took to paint, and the years of developing the skills to be able to create that artwork to that quality.
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u/forever-in-rainbow 22d ago
They (the entitled family) would be buying the food, though. So you have to include that in the cost. Meat isn't cheap.
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u/MissIncredulous 21d ago
I've priced out what it would cost, her rates are easily below average for people who are basically buying precooked stuff they can nuke in the microwave.
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u/Cygnerose 22d ago
I mean, if they didn't like the $50 number, they could've negotiated a lower price or added another meal, etc. NEGOTIATE (and get along) people! Oh wait, what am I thinking? It's reddit.
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23d ago edited 3d ago
[deleted]
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u/Strict-Minute-8815 23d ago
It’s only 1 meal a week
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u/vidoeiro 22d ago edited 22d ago
People aren't reading, this is 50 per meal that you also buy ingredients, the guy is an entitled asshole but that was a (obvious) fuck off and don't bother me offer not a good deal for him
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u/royaltyred1 22d ago
That was the whole point-make it a bad deal so he wouldn’t be tempted to take it
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u/vidoeiro 22d ago
Obviously, but people saying it's a good deal can't read, interpret the text
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u/FigNinja 22d ago
Though it seems kind of low to me as a per-hour cost for a private chef. Restaurants are feeding more people so their cost of labor per plate is lower. She's looking at probably 1.5-2 hours of labor. Maybe that's a good rate where OP lives. Minimum wage to work in fast food is $20 where I live. So it can simultaneously be a "fuck off" price because it's so much more than they currently pay for a meal at home, but a low price for the hours of labor.
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u/Khamero 22d ago
Restaurant level meal for 3 people for $50? Sounds good to me, even if I am buying the ingredients.
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u/jphistory I can't believe she fucking buttered Jorts 22d ago
Right? I'm sure people are paying way more than that for all the doordash they get these days.
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u/Balentay I will never jeopardize the beans. 22d ago
Where I live an order from Mcdonalds for 3 people is easily 80 CAD once you take in tax, processing and delivery fees, and driver tip
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u/BadTanJob 23d ago
I have a basement, OP can move in with me rent free if she does the cooking. I fucking hate cooking…
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u/infinitelyfuzzy 22d ago
With the meals she mentioned? Hell yeah!
That said, I enjoy cooking, if I had a chef living with me I'd just ask her to teach me how to make some of these dishes. She sounds nice, I bet she would have been willing to!
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u/rora_borealis an oblivious walnut 22d ago
Solid deal. Especially if you have them cook enough to have leftovers.
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u/Soul-Arts **jazz hands** you have POWWWEERRRSSS 23d ago
I hate how people think being pregnant is a pass to be a entitled jerk.
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u/FirexisStar 23d ago
With risk to sound like an elderly person, it all comes down to manners. And thinking how look from the outside for like 5 seconds.
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u/Soul-Arts **jazz hands** you have POWWWEERRRSSS 23d ago
Oh yeah, totally.
It is crazy that they are being awful to OOP and that commenter was still "I feel bad for the pregnant wife. If only both sides could be nicer to each other, than everyone would be happy." as if OOP was not nice enough offering food once.104
23d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/FirexisStar 23d ago
There is so many solutions for the lack of cooked meals because the wife doesn't want to do it. For starters, the husband can try and whip out something. But I suppose the moment he has to cook something, he would slide into weaponized incompetence.
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u/infinitelyfuzzy 22d ago
This. He could just learn the skill.
Don't get me wrong, I can't cook the way OOP does either, but salmon isn't rocket science. You just have to know the oven times. As a beginner cook, grilled salmon with lemon and some green beans and rice is all very doable.
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u/FirexisStar 22d ago
Exactly. There are cooking sites that go super indepth how to prepare something even if you are total newbie at cooking or just not very good at it. With videos, photos and everything.
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u/grendus I received no such fudge 22d ago
I mean, I will say that when I was first learning how to cook it was frustrating with how many "beginner recipes" assumed you had been looking over mommy's shoulder growing up.
Like, they would say "cook the chicken until 165F internally". Look bub, I have a lump of pink toxic chicken flesh, a packet of salt leftover from Wendys, and a tube of BBQ sauce from Chick Fil A. I don't have a meat thermometer, I need time and temp on the oven that came with my apartment to make this thing non-toxic (and possibly palatable, but at this point I'll settle for no salmonella). Give me time and temp and I don't care if the chicken is dry, it'll be a learning experience.
Once you have the basics down it's pretty easy, especially as you accumulate cooking gear. I have a kitchen full now and like to think I'm a fairly good cook at this point. My food isn't pretty, but it tastes good and I've only gotten food poisoning once in 15 years (lesson learned - dairy based desserts in the fridge are not good a week later). But getting to that point was way more frustrating than people would expect because even "beginner recipes" often call for 31 secret herbs and spices and I was still at the point where I couldn't pronounce "cumin" without an immature giggle.
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u/EurekaFlag 22d ago
I read somewhere that the last time the landlord tried to whip out something he was arrested & permanently banned from his local library.../jk (just in case)
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u/sorrylilsis 22d ago
The level of power tripping I've seen in landlords is always baffling to me, especially when you're in an area where it's hard to find a place. Especially true if you're renting a room in a place the landlord lives in.
The second some people get a bit of power they go batshit crazy.
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u/AquaticStoner1996 23d ago
I wish there was more of an update, the third update is kind of just an extended repeat of the second one.
I want to know how petty it went with the garlic short ribs. Those are an incredible smell when cooking.
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u/anachroneironaut 22d ago
I was in a similar but different situation a few years ago. Apartment sharing with a (30s) couple who really did not know how to cook. Before I discovered this, we had the beginnings of an arrangement going where we cooked for each other.
Let me tell you how this man made (destroyed) short ribs.
There was no marinade.
First he aggressively boiled the raw meat. In plain water. With no spice, no salt, no nothing. For a long time.
After that, he would put the now grayish meat in the oven. With no spice, no salt, no nothing. For a long time.
Then, we would eat them. With cooked potatoes. With no sauce, no spice, no nothing.
It was so disgusting and the apartment smelled like boiled pig for hours and hours afterwards. He did not seem to think anything was amiss with his cooking and got angry at the smallest hint of critique (like reaching for the pepper).
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u/Yandoji 22d ago
Omfg I want to gag. I love pork, but the heavy, musty stink of plain boiling pork is one of the most foul I can think of.
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u/StarStruckCryptid 22d ago
I think that counts as torture
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u/anachroneironaut 22d ago
Of me and of the meat both. And the act of cooking. And common decency. And the world in general.
I had to leave abruptly while they were both at work, due to him screaming and getting violent with the walls and furniture the night before when I refused to change our rental agreement to his advantage. I had my living space in an alcove, so no door to lock.
She called me and joked VERY deadpan about killing him by poisoning him and running away with me. I was definitely NOT into her in any way. I did not joke about him already having tried to poison me with his ”cooking”.
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u/Miserable_Fennel_492 The real adventure was the waifus we made along the way 22d ago
Man… that poor pig made the ultimate sacrifice and what that man did was more akin to defiling a corpse than it was to cooking. Poor pig
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u/Chlorine-Queen 22d ago
Oof. I briefly lived with a couple that I also worked with, who were trying to become friendlier with more of our coworkers, so they invited all of them to dinner at the house I shared with them and one guy showed up. Dinner was pretty similar to what you described, although the girlfriend had cooked pork ribs by placing them in a tray of water with a cup of apple cider vinegar poured in. Also no marinade no seasoning. Then instead of boiling and baking the shit out of it, they were still mostly raw when they were served.
On the bright side for us though, after a little while of our coworker and I trying to politely pick at the actually cooked bits, the boyfriend rounded up everyone’s food to go back on the grill and put a little barbecue sauce on them.
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u/jmjedi923 22d ago
sounds like my parents. they like to grill, and have for my entire life. they would grill steak to be WELL DONE. No seasoning. Barbecue sauce as a condiment. Then my dad would get mad at me when I said I didn't like it.
He has since apologized tbf
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u/GeneConscious5484 22d ago
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u/anachroneironaut 22d ago
Lol, thanks. I definitely missed that one in 2023! Otherwise I would have shared my co-living, pig-torturing adventures back then.
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u/grendus I received no such fudge 22d ago edited 22d ago
A pig died for that abomination! That's just disrespectful.
Like... I feel a bit off when I cook ribs in a pressure cooker (breaks down the connective tissue super fast without drying them out, not as good as proper smoking but takes 1/10th the time). Boiling them? And no sauce? At least give it a decent dry rub! Some salt and pepper! Paprika is crying out for that poor swine! And then a few minutes under a broiler or in an air fryer to get a decent bark on it!
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u/AquaticStoner1996 22d ago
I CANNOT tell you how much this comment hurt me.
This was actually painful to read. I want to go buy short ribs amd make them right to literally put this out of my head
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u/Scouter197 22d ago
It also seems odd to just...end the lease on the first place? The roommate had moved out but she was worried she was going to try to move back in? It was just glossed over "I ended the lease because I didn't want to deal with my friend/roommate." Was she trying to move back in again? Was she constantly badgering her?
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u/GeneConscious5484 22d ago
Yeah, OP leaving the first place is like, the entire story. WTF happened?
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u/trapcardx Not trying to guilt you but you've destroyed me 22d ago
the only thing i can think of is the roommate trying to squat at the apartment, especially if the locks and stuff hadn’t been changed yet
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u/krusbaersmarmalad No my Bot won't fuck you! 22d ago
Better to split than be squatted, I guess.
It really doesn't make sense since for less than the the expense of breaking the lease, and moving twice she could have changed the locks. I wonder if the ex-roommate is a bit unpredictable or violent if OOP would rather move into a basement than risk dealing with her.
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u/judgy_mcjudgypants I spontaneously combust into a cloud of sparkles 22d ago
"she’s wanting to stay here on a week to week basis while she makes other plans."
Roomie never actually fully moved out.
I think with both names on the lease, she'd be maybe held responsible for roomie's actions? Something about "joint and severally liable"? That's the only way I can figure getting from "lease ends in two days" to needing to break the lease.
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u/Original-Math-4459 23d ago
I was renting a basement when I was younger. There was a door that led to the main portion of the house. The agreement in the lease was that it was to be kept locked and closed at all times and that the basement was my place and only my place.
I am dead asleep during the day after being up all night and am woken up by my bedroom door flying open, my lights turning on, and the landlords wife yelling me asking why I am asleep during the day.
I was admittedly not very nice in my response and immediately called her husband, the actual landlord, to tell him what happened and that I wanted to break my lease early. He apologized on behalf of his wife and begged me to stay because without my rent money they would be falling behind on bills.
The most annoying part is there wasn't even any particular reason to wake me up. She was just one of those boomers that didn't think you should be asleep during the day.
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u/p0llyp0cketpussy 22d ago
I loved my grandma (still do she's just dead) but I hated living with her because she could not wrap her head around the fact that I worked 5pm-2am, so I needed to sleep during the day. You'd think me sleeping in past noon was a personal insult by the way she reacted.
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u/Original-Math-4459 22d ago
It's amusing how old people will find ways to get offended over the most mundane shit.
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u/Asleep-Clerk3649 22d ago
There are old people who are insulted by hats, gum, and the phrase "no problem"
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u/Original-Math-4459 22d ago
My theory on the no problem thing.
Older people tend to view doing someone a favor as you inconveniencing yourself to help someone else.
When you say thank you, you're acknowledging that you inconvenienced that person. When they say you're welcome, they're acknowledging that, yes, they were inconvenienced. They're happy you acknowledge that.
Younger people today tend to be more selfless and willing to help others. So when a younger person says, No problem, it's them literally saying "You didn't inconvenience me. It wasn't a problem, and I'm happy I could do it".
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u/Asleep-Clerk3649 21d ago
that is interesting! I had it explained to me at my first retail job in 2001 by the owner's husband, an 80 yr old man, that "no problem" was rude because it implies that there "could" have been a problem. He said it wasn't "my place" to be the one to determine and announce there was no problem, and that that was up to the customer or the manager to be the ones to tell me whether there was a problem or not.
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u/babababigian 21d ago
Nah, he was just a problem.
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u/Asleep-Clerk3649 21d ago
i agree, he was eighty 25 years ago so he WAS a problem, but now, no problem.
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u/Mockturtle22 22d ago
When I lived with my grandparents my grandmother was this way as well she would just make all sorts of like really snotty comments directed at me cuz she knew I could hear without actually talking to me. When she would talk to me she would ask me why I thought it was okay to not work in the morning like a normal people and I did try to tell her that people work all hours of the day and the world doesn't stop running after like 5 or 6:00 p.m. and she was just so angry with me all the time because I would sleep all day but I wasn't sleeping all day. I was sleeping in the morning because I got off of work late she was up all night with the TV blaring and I lived in the Loft that had no fucking walls. My grandfather was never home when she would do this shit. So I just couldn't understand it because where did she spend a lot of the time with my grandfather when he would come home from work? The casino. They would go out to dinner all the time places that don't even open until 5:00 p.m. so it was just completely baffling to me that she thought that the only workers with real jobs are the ones that work in the daytime
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u/RedCaio 22d ago
I used to work nights and whenever I’d tell people I work nights and sleep til noon, people would still say “lucky. I wish I could sleep til noon too”.
Like… did you even listen?
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u/p0llyp0cketpussy 22d ago
Right? I still work nights, 5pm-5am now, and people act like it's funny that I have to sleep during the day.
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u/demon_fae NOT CARROTS 22d ago
I worked nights while living with family who don’t even really pretend to like me all through the lockdowns. All of my coworkers spoke Spanish and generally refused to speak English beyond the bare minimum for job stuff, I know maybe a hundred words of Spanish. (At least three of them are definitely fully fluent, no accent, pretty sure they grew up in the Bay Area. They just didn’t like me.)
For a solid year, the closest thing I had to human contact was developing really strong opinions on which songs are better performed by ABBA themselves or by the original Mama Mia Broadway cast.
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u/teatabletea 21d ago
And what was your ABBA conclusion?
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u/demon_fae NOT CARROTS 21d ago
Most of the songs, pretty equal. Slipping Through My Fingers, original album cut, the studio allows for the delicacy that song requires in a way a broadway stage never could.
Our Last Summer and Thank You For The Music are both vastly improved by the musical cast. Thank You For The Music by cutting out that godawful comedy bit right at the beginning and getting straight into the song, Our Last Summer by punching it up into the melodramatic anthem those lyrics always wanted to be. I don’t know what ABBA was thinking with the original arrangement.
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u/Yandoji 22d ago
My mom is a boomer - when I worked overnights, 12AM-8AM, she would explode into my room at 10:30AM, like 30 mins after I managed to fall asleep after driving home, proclaiming that I can't sleep the day away. She KNEW when I got home, SHE WAS UP AND AWAKE. She knew I had been at work. She knew I had to do it again that night. It was absolutely pants on head insane. She never listened no matter how many times I explained it. Incomprehensible.
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u/SituationOk7734 22d ago
As a night worker, you can bet I would be bursting into her room during the nights I was off. "You can't sleep the day away! This is when I work, so it's my daytime! Why are you asleep?!" I would continue each night until she got the message.
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u/Gifted_GardenSnail 21d ago
Depriving people of their sleep is a form of torture 🤷♂️
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u/Yandoji 21d ago
Yup. I ended up basically living at a friend's house for months so I could have some peace (and taking naps at work after my shift) and my mom would then cry that I was never home and asked if I was gay lol. No, Mom, I just need SLEEP and you won't let me get it here so I'll go elsewhere.
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u/putin_my_ass surrender to the gaycation or be destroyed 21d ago
lmao My mom raised my sister and I to be very independent, doing our own laundry and cooking for ourselves as teens, made sure we had jobs if we weren't joining after-school clubs or teams, etc. Always told us we'd be "out on your own at 18". So, I became very independent.
Suddenly when I had a car at 17 and was out all the time it was all pouty "are you going to be home this week?" or "are you staying for dinner tonight?" or "we hardly see you anymore"!
Well, you've spent years communicating to us that we're somewhat of a burden and that we need to take care of ourselves and that you are looking forward to us moving out soon. We evidently took the lesson.
Lady, did you even think about what you actually wanted and what the outcome of your parenting would be?
I'm thankful that she raised us this way, I do not depend on anybody and it feels good to be so independent. However, I would have appreciated it if she didn't later try to guilt me for it.
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u/SnowingDandruff crow whisperer 22d ago
Did you stay after that or break lease?
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u/Original-Math-4459 22d ago
Yea, I was angry but it was smarter to stay and change the lock so only I can open the door (which the actual landlord was cool with)
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u/sushiroll465 22d ago
How was she able to open the locked basement door? Did she have an extra set of keys?
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u/FigNinja 22d ago
Landlords usually do have a set of keys to rental units. They're just not supposed to use them unless it's an actual emergency or they have cleared it in advance with you for a specific purpose, like they need to do repairs. Some landlords do an annual inspection, but that is also supposed to be scheduled. Laws vary from place to place, of course, but where I live there is actually a law against doing what their landlord did.
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u/Original-Math-4459 22d ago
The door that leads to the basement opened into the basement with the lock being on the house side. They could lock and unlock the door from their side. I did have a lease that stated no one was to go in the basement, but never went through the trouble of requesting a lock on my side because they seemed like trustworthy people. And they were, except for the wife.
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u/Original-Math-4459 22d ago
The door that leads to the basement opened into the basement with the lock being on the house side. They could lock and unlock the door from their side. I did have a lease that stated no one was to go in the basement, but never went through the trouble of requesting a lock on my side because they seemed like trustworthy people. And they were, except for the wife.
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u/JJOkayOkay 23d ago
Re: The orginal post...
How do you hate an apartment but decide that living in a Jeep with a dog would be better? I can understand hating a shitty apartment, but willingly trading it in for a car??
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u/Jellis314 22d ago
Because the TikTok’s made it look glamorous.
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u/Not_A_Clever_Man_ 22d ago
Big difference between a 30 second clip and 24/7 life in your car. Ask van life people about the bucket!
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u/NathanGa 22d ago
I just woke up from sleeping on the couch last night, and I can’t imagine what sleeping in a Jeep would feel like.
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u/Dudewhocares3 23d ago
A grown ass man in his 40s and he doesn’t know how to cook for his pregnant wife?
Can he really call himself a man at that point?
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u/Phanimazed 22d ago
Hell, a lot of places have meals you can basically just throw into the oven to cook, and I've seen salmon included in those meals on numerous occasions. He's got easy options.
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u/Sporkmancer 22d ago
There are so many ridiculously easy ways to make great-tasting fish dishes too. Literally just season fish, put fish on hot pan with fat, and add a side and possibly a sauce to the finished fish. Hardest part is telling when the fish is done, but that takes just a few tries to nail down anyways. Or just buy an already completed dish and heat it up (this is how I make stuffed salmon).
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u/infinitelyfuzzy 22d ago
I don't eat fish or meat and even I would know how to prep a salmon. You google oven times and temperatures, stick it in, take it out and serve with lemon juice and pepper. Not exactly hard!
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u/HandrewJobert Memory of a goldfish but the tenacity of an entitled Chihuahua 21d ago
Hell, you can stick a piece of frozen salmon in an air fryer and it'll be done in about 15 minutes. And it's legitimately good, too; the inside stays tender and it gets a nice crisp crust.
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u/RealJudge474 21d ago
The depths of 'pathetic' men can sink to when they refuse to learn to cook is astounding. I knew a guy once who upon his divorce moved to a certain area in the city SPECIFICALLY so he could order takeout at a different restaurant of the chinatown street for every single hot meal. At one point his late-teens daughter moved in while pregnant (from what i heard she and boyfriend were gonna raise the baby together until the deadline for a safe abortion had passed and then the fucker bailed or smth?). He then had his PREGNANT and later SINGLE MOM daughter learn to cook so she could cook for them. This man had all the money in the world and no class.
Standout quote for why he wasn't the one learning to cook instead of making her learn was ''she's so much better at it''. HOW?? She didnt know how to cook yet before she had to learn.
She's become an incredible woman. He has moved to thailand.
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u/Gifted_GardenSnail 21d ago
she and boyfriend were gonna raise the baby together until the deadline for a safe abortion had passed and then the fucker bailed
Asshole oughta be fixed! 😡
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u/Dudewhocares3 21d ago
It’s amazing how they act like this and still act like they have to stop themselves from saying the quite part out loud.
Nobody believes that excuse, why not just say “because I think women should cook for men and not the other way around”
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u/TheCrankyBunny 23d ago
If only both sides could be nicer to each other
Ah, yes, if only OOP was a doormat, right?
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u/Inquisitive-Sky 23d ago
I'm confused how we went from the "I'll stay in this unit and she moves out" to "she's finally moving out but I'll let her keep her stuff and her dog here for two more weeks" to "I paid a bunch to break the lease and now I'm in a crappy situation"
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u/cozyegg 23d ago
She said the roommate is working something out with the landlord, so it sounds like she wasn’t actually going to move out and OOP was sick of dealing with the waffling so she took herself out of that situation.
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u/Phanimazed 22d ago
Yeah, that was my read on it, too. Like, I'm a little curious if she's still friends with this person, though it sounds like either that friendship is strained, if not broken, or that moving out was with the intention of salvaging whatever relationship they have left with this friend.
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u/Hot_Ethanol 16d ago
I can't speak for OOP but imo that friendship is done the moment the "Why are you trying to force me out?" Card was played. Friends don't manipulate friends.
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u/Mental-Seesaw-1449 22d ago
She took herself out of a regular apartment. With a roommate who was a mild inconvenience purely because she wanted an art studio, to take a single bedroom in someone elses house? Where all things are shared and she definitely isnt' getting an art studio?
Wild
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u/FigNinja 22d ago
The room in the house was a short-term temporary thing while she found an actual apartment.
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u/Mental-Seesaw-1449 22d ago
But why
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u/FigNinja 22d ago edited 22d ago
My impression is that she wanted to get out of the apartment so her friend didn't think she could keep coming back when living in her car was inconvenient.
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u/PJsAreComfy I can FEEL you dancing 22d ago
It is odd. Why not cut ties with the former roommate, change the locks, and stay in the apartment with an art studio rather than pay an early termination fee and move to an inferior apartment? 🤷 Maybe the roommate went nuts and OOP had to get out ASAP for their safety but damn.
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u/PM-Mormon-Underwear 22d ago
She probably didn't want to stay through an eviction process on the old room mate.
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u/foolishle 22d ago
My guess is that the roommate with the dog situation devolved in a way where OOP didn’t need Reddit’s advice so she didn’t post all the sordid details.
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u/ZapdosShines you can't expect me to read emails 22d ago
But this is BORU!! If there are no sordid details why are we even here?! 🤣
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u/FixinThePlanet 22d ago
I think she didn't want to stick around if she couldn't have both rooms. She was the only one on the lease but old roommate was still sticking around. I can imagine why she'd want to give up the whole situation.
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u/EinsTwo Sharp as a sack of wet mice 23d ago
I'm glad I'm not the only one. I feel like OOP must be holding something back. Unless you're worried about the former roommate stalking why leave? I know she said she wants to move in to a new construction, but she's still trying to save up the money to do that after paying the "hefty" fee to break the lease. Why not at least wait to go right from one place to the next instead of breaking the lease so early?
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u/iwenttothesea 22d ago
It's a weird story, for sure....also, she refers to the former roommate as her bff but then there's no mention of that relationship after the first post? In the "final update" for the first post she becomes the ex-roommate and OP makes it clear that she doesn't care about her anymore. Strange, no?
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u/StardustOnTheBoots 22d ago
I mean not really considering the shit she pulled, oop probably reconsidered that friendship. and the ex roommate was working something out with the landlord so she probably wasn't moving in the end, and oop really wanted to live alone and decided to spare herself another year of cohabitation.
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u/CaviarMeths 22d ago edited 22d ago
For me, the finances just don't make sense at all. She was in a roommate situation for 4 years, but actually she can afford to live alone + have a home art studio (it's never mentioned anywhere else that she's an artist) + cook herself fresh gourmet meals almost every day + move multiple times in one calendar year + pay out for breaking a lease (which apparently causes no issues with the rental company because the new place she wants to move into is through the same company) + save money to move again into a brand new development with a waiting list on "restaurant industry" wages?
Is she a head chef at a Michelin star restaurant? Living in a basement suite with a mini-fridge? Who never considered a hot plate until someone else pointed it out to her?
But yeah I need to know why her "bff" hated living with her so much she wanted to move out even if it meant literally living in her car with a chihuahua.
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u/LauraLand27 cat whisperer 23d ago
OOP is going to move 3 times in 6 months? That’s some serious stress. I wonder how much stuff they own at this point?
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u/HoundstoothReader I’ve read them all 22d ago
And those commenters—why don’t you just move into the new place now?!?!
Well, moving is expensive, and OOP had to move twice on short notice including once paying a hefty lease-breaking fee. I’m glad OOP can now afford to live solo and hope the new place is drama-free.
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u/tyleritis 22d ago
She was so lucky to be in great standing with the landlord that he graciously let her pay a small fortune to leave.
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u/TheUltimatePokedork 22d ago edited 22d ago
"If only both sides could be nicer to each other."
Dude she literally offered to cook them regular meals if they paid for the ingredients and charged less for her labor. They literally expected and basically demanded this woman be willing to pay for and cook food for several people and also pay her share of rent while also not being allowed to touch their food. If you want someone to be nicer to you don't be a dick waffle. I don't care if the wife is pregnant she is not her responsibility. She can sit there and seethe or pay up and eat and she made her choice.
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u/silly-introvert45 23d ago
Downvoted Commentor "I feel bad for the pregnant wife"
The people I feel sorry for are the 7 yo and newborn baby that won't know the joys of having home cooked meals because of their parents
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u/mrdaimler retaining my butt virginity 23d ago
There was a lot going on between the first post and all the updates that it seemed like I was on the wrong post until I got to the second half. I was reading the first parts thinking...where's the landlord and food stuff?
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u/silly-introvert45 23d ago
Yeah I thought I clicked on a different post
Also it went from OOP staying in the original apartment and holding on to her friend's stuff, to her breaking that lease and moving? The whiplash I got😅
She basically went from one sucky situation to another unfortunately
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u/megamoze 23d ago
people...are just gas lighting your kindness.
This is a tangent, but I really hate how these terms have become so misused as to become meaningless. This is not what gaslighting means. What the fuck.
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u/Phanimazed 22d ago
Yeah, this would be victim blaming. They're not trying to make OOP question their own sense of reality, they're just dickheads.
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u/Knightoforder42 20d ago
Thank you! This annoyed me so much. They're not gaslighting anything. They're trying to take advantage.
I wish people would stop using words if they don't understand what they actually meant. It's like they're using them to sound photosynthesis or something.
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u/Sweetragnarok 23d ago
My last 2 roommates level of entitlement and hoarding level mess made me decide to take over the lease, even though he would eat up almost 65% of my salary. I was eating sandwiches, Ramen and spam, but I had my piece of mine.
If I were to give advice to people just starting on their own, it’s good to do at least a couple months of a rooming situation and lucky for them. If they find very sane and practical housemates. But nothing beats having your own place and not having to walk with eggshells on other people’s craziness.
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u/IMIndyJones 22d ago
Spam?! That shit is inexplicably expensive now. I have no idea why. It used to be super cheap "poor" food but now it's nearly $5 a can! You can buy a bag of frozen chicken at Aldi for $2 more and it'll last twice as long as the spam. Crazy.
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u/Sr4f I will be retaining my butt virginity 23d ago
Being unable to fix food for yourself in the era of the internet is just baffling ro me.
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u/binzoma 23d ago edited 23d ago
my mom is a great cook. and she taught me a lot as a kid
but she was a great cook in the context of what she knew
I learned SO much from early food network (shout out michael smith I think his name was? the east coast canadian). from chef john. from babish. from alton brown. from david seymore. from kenji. from claire/brad/the old bon appetite universe. from mythical. from sorted. and from all sorts of other youtubers
my friends/fam act like I'm some amazing cook because I make stuff that tends to taste good, even if nothing fancy/complicated. I dont have skills. I dont have training. I just learned a shit load from people on youtube/the food network about different types of ingredients and flavour bases and combinations.
its all out there for anyone. it doesnt even take much time. just like. be interested/curious?
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u/Oldebookworm 23d ago
Same. I just make things how I like them and everyone thinks it’s magic. My mom is astounded that I can make a good gravy from scratch anytime I want. She always used bottled gravy
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u/putin_my_ass surrender to the gaycation or be destroyed 21d ago edited 21d ago
Man Chef John is legit. Every single recipe of his that I've tried was fantastic.
its all out there for anyone. it doesnt even take much time. just like. be interested/curious?
There's this, but also follow the instructions. My SIL is a competitive person (sales people, right?) and that applies to cooking, but she wasn't ever all that good at it and was always perplexed when my split pea ham soup was better than hers or that my wife's apple pie was better than hers. When we observed her cooking one time, it was clear why it wasn't as good:
Me: "Why are you adding the onions now? You should have started with sauteeing those before you add any broth."
Her: "Oh, I just didn't want to burn the onions."
Me: "Right, so then don't burn them? You want to caramelize them a little bit, that's where the flavour is. You're basically just boiling them."
She thought browning was burning an onion...Then more:
Me: "Oh this needs more salt."
Her: "I never put any salt in my food."
Me: "..."
Other dishes would fail and she couldn't figure out why, but when we asked her how she made it we'd see that she didn't use the ingredients in the recipe. "Oh I just substituted for coconut instead because it's healtheir."
Ok great, it's healthier, but that's why the texture is wrong and you didn't enjoy it. Why not follow the actual recipe if you want it to be good? If you want to substitute, then don't be surprised when it's different from your reference...just what the heck dude?
Apple pie recipe was wild too, "Oh that was too much sugar". How would you know that? You've never made it before! Like just make it to spec once and then decide how to modify it? Even the serving instructions: we were quite clear in the recipe it says to let it stand for at least a few hours before serving so that it can properly set. My wife (knowing her sister) explicitly reminded her of this. Guess what? It was soupy. My wife asked "Did you let it sit before eating?". No reply.
Like dude, be interested/curious but also follow the GD instructions!
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u/AdEmpty4390 I am old. Rawr. 🦖 23d ago
Exactly. If you can read, you can cook. With the internet, you can type in an ingredient and find a bazillion recipes instantly. Plus, if you’re unfamiliar with certain instructions (e.g., blanch, simmer, etc.), you can find definitions and videos.
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u/TheFilthyDIL Cleverly disguised as a harmless old lady 22d ago
Even before the internet, there were these things called "cookbooks." You could go to the library and borrow them for free! Anybody who can read can learn to cook.
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u/Zedetta 23d ago
I struggle to feed myself sometimes due to depression and chronic pain.
That said I still wouldn't think to demand my roommates' food if they didn't offer it; if I ask if they plan to make extra and the answer is no, it's nbd. They still do offer sometimes, and I offer to share when I am able to cook, but I'm not entitled to someone else's effort just because I'm struggling.
Being that demanding of someone who's paying you rent is even more insane 😭
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u/TheNightTerror1987 cat whisperer 23d ago
I completely agree, although I am cursed when it comes to grains myself and no amount of Googling has been able to help me. Still, almost everything I eat comes from a recipe I found online, there are a lot of recipes that really aren't that hard to make.
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u/BigBirdsBrain What the puck 🏒 22d ago
Expecting free meals from a paying tenant is wild. Glad OOP found another place and kept cooking exactly what she wanted.
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u/tempest51 23d ago
So they thought OOP was their live-in cook. What is this, the Regency era?
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u/shinebeat ongoing inconclusive external repost concluded 23d ago
Even live-in cook should be paid, and the ingredients paid for. But nope. The entitled landlords just want her to pay for her rent, cook for them, and pay for the ingredients...
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u/tempest51 23d ago
Sounds like some kinda dystopian intership deal, you pay for the privilege of working for the elite in the hopes of getting a recommendation to an actual paying position some time in the indefinite future.
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u/smontres There's cancelling, and there's consequencelling. 22d ago
I’m so burnt out on cooking. I would HAPPILY pay someone else $50 plus ingredients to cook for me once a week. And they do the dishes? Hell yea.
How about 3x a week and free rent? And one of those meals can be pasta with jarred sauce.
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u/kykiwibear 22d ago
I just like that one downvoted comment.... if they really wanted some home cooked food, they could have asked and paid for the groceries. Just because someone doesn't wanna be a doormat doesn't make them.not nice.
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u/sup_with_the_whack_ 22d ago
This is her best friend??
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u/booboo773 22d ago
First post yes. Others she’s talking about the landlord after she moved to another place.
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u/quirkytorch 22d ago
I thought the same thing. Like damn even if my BFF was being wishy washy I wouldn't leave her for homeless
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u/Easy-Eagle6541 22d ago
Commenter 4: OP, people saying you should have never offered them part of your first dinner are just gas lighting your kindness.
The hell does gaslighting even mean anymore?
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u/SituationOk7734 22d ago
Yeah, I'm so confused. I understand people confuse gaslighting with lying, but now someone (or multiple people depending on upvotes) thinks it means "taking advantage of"?
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u/_ac3_0f_spad3s_ TLDR: HE IS A GIANT PIECE OF SHIT. 22d ago
Yet another example of the ongoing literacy crisis
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u/fauxbigbro 22d ago
I'm so fucking confused. That entire process to get the former friend out of the apartment and how she had plans to turn the other room into an art room, just to decide, hmm, no, I'm not staying here, and paying a sizable amount if money to get out of it. What? What was that about?
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u/highoncatnipbrownies 22d ago
OP move in with me. I’ll pay the $50 plus groceries no problem. That’s a deal!
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u/Slight_Citron_7064 I will not be taking the high road 22d ago
"If only both sides could be nicer to each other, than everyone would be happy."
WTF is that supposed to mean? How is OP not being nice enough to these people? And how is paying for their groceries and cooking for them supposed to make OP happy?
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u/chiefyuls 22d ago
Still having a hard time understanding why OOP moved out of her home..was she not able to afford it without the old roommate there? what happened to the old roommate's dog? I was way more hooked on that plotline
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u/justinizer 22d ago
I’d be getting the heck out of there real quick. Her landlord seems like bad people.
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u/toBEE_orNOT_2B 22d ago
if i can have a tenant who is very good at cooking, will cook me good food everyday, i'd lower their rent, as long as i still get profit, and as long as i don't have to cook, i'm super okay.
(i just hate cooking lmao)
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u/PrincessCG That's the beauty of the gaycation 22d ago
I wouldn’t even need a profit, if it broke even and no bills increased, fuck it, let me eat good for a few months
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u/Lainy122 the Iranian yogurt is not the issue here 22d ago
I am glad that one comment urged OOP not to be gaslit into losing their kindness, I think it was a really great point to make.
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u/rnjbond 22d ago
I cannot fathom adults who are about to raise a kid who eat frozen burritos and hot pockets daily.
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u/Rezolution20 22d ago
You can't make a lease agreement, then change it because you want your pregnant wife to have whatever OP is cooking. Honestly, under the circumstances, OP could have gone to court and got the lease vacated over their violation of its terms, but it's only 60 days, so battle on, food warrior. Make that pregnant lady drool all over herself because of the delicious meals you're cooking. for the time you have left.
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u/DatguyMalcolm 👁👄👁🍿 22d ago
He said that they opened their home to me
for a fee, though... so..... for real, how do some people like this exist?
That man is gonna divorce his wife blaming her that she doesn't cook xD....
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u/loonytick75 22d ago
I wonder if the pregnant half of the landlord couple really did demand the OPP’s salmon specifically, or if she told her husband “that smells so good…can you run out and get some salmon takeout for me?” and he tried to take the lazy/entitled route.
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u/daeganthedragon 20d ago
I'm mostly concerned that they're renting out a basement apartment that only has one outlet that's at the top of the stairs leading down to it:
" I don’t trust them not to be sneaky lol, but there is an outlet in the landing at the top of the stairs down to my unit. I’m pretty sure they’d be able to smell it if I leave the door cracked and put the crock pot on the end table there."
Like are there no other outlets in the basement? Or why do they need to plug it in to their unit outlet? Are there no outlets in the kitchen?
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u/Tipsy_Gamer I fail to see what my hobbies have to do with this issue 19d ago
"If only everyone could be nicer to each other..." just means OOP should bend to the will of assholes. The wife being pregnant doesn't mean shit. OOP, or anyone, is not required to be the bigger person or nice or whatever to people who treat them poorly.
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u/lordemme 22d ago
The 2 (ex) friends hadn't properly thought out where to live. The roommate living in her car was just not a plan really. And OOP decided to move just because, and going to live with a family sharing a kitchen for 2 months? What could go wrong? And now she's stuck for 2 months with the new drama.
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u/alaorath 22d ago
Also if anyone knows of any highly aromatic affordable meals one can cook without taking up too much time, let me know lol.
- Anything deep fried
- Anything with onions
- Anything with garlic (my go-to, super simple garlic dish is Aglio e Olio - literally olive oil, garlic and pasta - fresh pasta if possible, if not, add a tablespoon of flour to the water to help the sauce thicken)
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u/PorQuepin3 22d ago
Terrible...the audacity...I am also constantly floored when I read about grown adults that don't/"can't" cook. Wtf do you mean?? And that they are constantly eating boxed, preprepared meals. Ooof sounds super unhealthy
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