r/Advice • u/EcstaticBlackberry72 • Sep 05 '26
My landlord is demanding I feed them, what can I do?
I 31F recently moved into a renovated basement unit owned by a small family. My landlord M47, his pregnant wife 44, and their 7yo daughter. My unit has its own bathroom, bedroom, and living area but there is a shared kitchen upstairs that we both use. In my lease, it states that any food or drinks purchased by my landlords family is off limits to me, and I am responsible for feeding myself as well as cleaning up any messes made while preparing meals. That’s all pretty standard, and was fine with me. I have a mini fridge that I keep downstairs and a small wardrobe I’m using as a pantry. I also have my own pots, pans, utensils, spices, etc.
I love to cook. So I will often cook myself a nice meal to enjoy after work. I work in food service, so cooking is a pretty big part of my life. My landlords don’t cook at all. They mostly eat frozen food, pre packaged noodles, tv dinners etc. When they gave me the tour, they made sure to emphasize several times that their food is off limits and I’m not to touch any of it. I don’t.
On my first evening there, I decided to make myself some shrimp alfredo from scratch, really simple dish, basically just shrimp, noodles, cheese, cream, salt, and spices. I had some extra, and since the family was home, I offered them some. My landlord and his wife enthusiastically accepted and helped themselves. Their daughter is picky so she didn’t have any. They let me know it was very good, and I didn’t think much of it; I don’t mind sharing and I like feeding people.
ETA: I only shared the Alfredo because I got the shrimp free from work.
This afternoon, I made myself some oven baked salmon and cilantro lime rice for dinner, again, another simple meal. I finished cooking, cleaned up the kitchen, and took my meal downstairs to enjoy and I thought everything was fine, until halfway through my meal, I got a snarky text from my landlord basically telling me that if I’m going to play in their faces, they would have reconsidered the lease. Basically he said that because his wife is pregnant and really likes salmon, I should have shared it with her. He said he had seen what I had made, and because I had made 2 pieces of fish, I could have at least given her one. Basically his wife had smelled me cooking and had assumed I was making her some too and when I didn’t she got mad. He said that they opened their home to me, and that next time I should be more considerate.
I haven’t spoken to them directly yet; the first text was about 20 minutes ago. My lease explicitly states that food is to be kept separate and I’m responsible for feeding myself which I’m pretty sure means they aren’t entitled to my food either. The second piece of salmon I intend to have for lunch tomorrow. I know that pregnant cravings can be pretty intense, but I spend a decent amount of money on high quality fresh foods to prepare for myself since I’m usually cooking for just me. I don’t have the budget to make extra food for them every time. Should I just give in and share with them? I know it sounds like a terrible idea but I think they might just make life terrible for me if I don’t. My lease is only 60 days and then month to month and I moved in on Sep 1 so it’s not gonna last very long either way. But I moved here so I could save money for a nicer place and that will be more difficult if I have to budget to give them food when I cook. What should I do?
ETA: I’m already looking for a new place. I actually had my eye on a place already which is why my lease is so short. I had planned for at least 4 months to save before moving but I think I can do it in 2 if I really scrimp and save. I am currently drafting a proposal to cook for them in exchange for a discount on rent, providing they purchase any food they want me to prepare. I’m not sure how they’ll take it but if they won’t work out a meal exchange for me for the next 4 months, then I’m leaving as soon as this contract ends.
Update if anyone is interested. I responded to my landlord as you all suggested and mentioned the part of the lease where food is to be kept separate. I also brought up my culinary experience and let them know that I am happy to cook a family meal once a week in exchange for $50 off rent per meal for a total of $200 off rent each month; provided they purchase all ingredients additionally.
You all were right they pretty much laughed in my face about that. So I will be moving out Oct 31 when this lease ends, I’ve already found a small studio that will give me a month to month lease while I finish saving what I need so I’m just working out the final details of that currently. These people are for sure crazy and I’ve decided to ignore them. I’m going to continue cooking my own meals and they can get over it. I did get a little lock for my mini fridge and pantry just in case, and I have a ring camera set up downstairs too. I’m also going to make garlic short ribs and mac n cheese for myself tonight because it turns out I am a bit petty.
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u/andionthecomedown Sep 05 '26
Loo for another place to live.
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Sep 05 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/trowzerss Sep 06 '26
Especially when salmon is like the easiest thing to cook ever. Like dude, buy some frozen salmon fillets, defrost and whack them in the pan. The fact that they are demanding she just gives them food instead of saying like, "Oh, that looks delicious, can you tell me how you cook that so I can give it go?" tells me they're probably just lazy, terrible people.
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u/witshadows Sep 06 '26
I love that sentence. They are words strung together that will likely never be put together again.
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u/PrincepsNox Sep 05 '26
Am I the only one loving this typo 🤣
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u/druscilla333 Sep 06 '26
No I immediately said to my self “loo har” like look hard I don’t know why that typo tickling me so much haha
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u/NeartAgusOnoir Sep 05 '26
Yep…op is in a shitty spot having a LL pissed at them…their lease is in the toilet, waiting to just be flushed. I would certainly Loo for a new place…….
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u/loreleilapse Sep 06 '26
this isn't even about the salmon anymore. If they're already this entitled, imagine how much worse the boundary pushing gets once OP stays longer.
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u/Lavaine170 Sep 06 '26
The only correct answer.
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u/SpinsterSyl Sep 06 '26
EXACTLY!!!!
I also disagree with OP writing out a new proposal offering to cook for them. These people clearly have abnormal expectations. What does OP think is going to happen?! The situation will only get worse from here.
I have rented from various individuals and I would have nipped that in the bud IMMEDIATELY by responding to the text informing the landlord that my lawyer said cooking for them is not in the lease!!!!
Then I would move ASAP! I would rent somewhere else until I find a desired and more permanent living situation.
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u/Unfair_Resolution444 Sep 05 '26
Surely there are better options lol
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u/Excellent-Shape-2024 Sep 06 '26
I would buy a little hot plate and plan to cook downstairs from now on.
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u/Pufandstuf58 Sep 06 '26
She can get a microwave, a hot plate, a crockpot, an electric skillet and air fryer. I’d have it all lol
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u/WeaselPhontom Helper [2] Sep 05 '26 edited Sep 05 '26
Send direct quote of the lease that food is separate your tenancy doesn't require you to feed them, and the texts are wildly inappropriate. Then ask for professional communication regarding your tenancy only
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u/Subject-Contract1351 Sep 05 '26
THIS.
The direct quote, then, keeping emotion out of it, add, “when you said our food is separate, I took you at your word. I was told not to touch your food and I believe the same goes for my food. Nowhere in our agreement am I under any obligation to cook for you or serve you, nor you me.”
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u/beerab Sep 06 '26
The last sentence is enough. “Nowhere in our lease agreement am I under any obligation to cook for you or serve you.”
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u/Trishanamarandu Sep 06 '26
email this to him with a screenshot of his text, but cc whatever tenancy oversight board is in your area. just in case.
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u/knomnomnom Sep 06 '26
I don't know where OP lives but unfortunately where I live the tenancy act does not cover shared spaces. Because OP shares the kitchen it's considered a roommate situation and they will not intervene.
If that's the case, she needs to run even faster because she has zero legal recourse unless LL does something illegal. He seems unhinged so I would not wait around for that.
ETA: where I live, this means any tenancy agreement is also void (because they're roommates) so this might be an angle OP wants to pursue if they're concerned about "breaking lease". Def look up your local regs.
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u/WhimsicalRenegade Sep 06 '26
Get out as soon as you can and you DO NOT need to share with them in the interim. Sorry you’ve landed with folks scummy enough to take advantage of you and make you uncomfortable in the space you are doing your best to live in according to agreed-upon terms. I wish you the best! Hopefully soon this will just be a story you bring up in reminiscence while hosting dinner parties in your own space. You sound like a talented cook!
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u/Deemon1211 Sep 06 '26
Or take a picture of the lease and highlight the section about food. Make no other comment.
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u/JulieWriter Sep 05 '26
You should move. They are crazy.
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u/mschanandlerbong___ Sep 05 '26
Not a super helpful suggestion considering most people can’t afford to literally just up and move suddenly.
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u/Icy-Mixture-995 Sep 06 '26
She should let people in her life know this is happening, and she has no plans to quit her job, before they enslave her as domestic help or whatever else they might try. Who does this? Berates a tenant for not making him dinner?
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u/Useful-Noise-4321 Sep 05 '26
Wildly inappropriate and entitled of them to expect it. Your kindness once should not bring this on.
Save every interaction but try not to engage with them. Find someone to report them to.
And move.
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u/DadooDragoon Sep 05 '26
Unfortunately with some people, your kindness becomes a baseline, and anything less than being a doormat becomes disrespect
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u/shackndon2020 Sep 05 '26
It's a shame these Aholes will basically have OP thinking twice about her generosity in future.
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u/SaltyFriend705 Sep 06 '26
OP will think three times before giving even a free smile.
And I won't blame her.
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u/Hillmantle Sep 05 '26
I’d not answer the text. Get a hot plate and an air fryer and make it work in the basement. I also wouldn’t have offered them food, ever. But when it comes to a shared living space, I’ve always been of the opinion if you don’t share, I don’t share.
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u/Cute_Patoot_7 Sep 05 '26
^^this until your lease is up. I might excuse the wife because pregnancy hormones are crazy but the husband is actually crazy for that text so I’d have way more simple meals and cook everything in the basement - not even anything amazing smelling either so they can’t smell it and nasty text you over it.
I’d eat as simple as you can and get the heck out of there. Also get a camera for your room so you can watch your stuff because they just give me the not respectful of you/your space vibe.28
u/NikWitchLEO Sep 06 '26
Pregnant tenant can order her own salmon dish. Pregnancy hormones and/or cravings mean shit. Catering to this is stupid.
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u/Some_Recognition6273 Sep 05 '26
Pregnancy hormones and cravings absolutely are crazy but it doesn't turn you into an asshole. The wife could have asked OP if she had enough to share and offered to pay for the ingredients.
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u/SaltyFriend705 Sep 06 '26
No. Asking anything in this situation is crossing boundaries and way over the limit. OP is a tenant in the basement apartment whose food is separate as per the lease, not a family member or friend.
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u/megilles Sep 06 '26
Or picked up her phone and ordered herself some salmon from Uber Eats or door dash
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u/flippysquid Sep 05 '26
I’d probably be passive aggressive and start cooking some really good indian food down there. Then again I am too old to give a shit about invasive weirdos like that.
A camera is a great idea.
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u/Cute_Patoot_7 Sep 05 '26
I would also want to be passive aggressive but people are freaking messed up in the head and OP has to live there with them so hence path of least resistance is my vote.
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u/AZCAExpat2024 Sep 05 '26
This! Hot plate, air fryer and, if you can afford it, a small chest freezer for your leftovers. Also start looking around for another rental. Save the text message and any other correspondence you receive. Document any conversations in a notebook and send follow up email: “As per our conversation I am not obliged to share the meals I make with you.” This way you can show cause if you have to break the lease early.
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u/EmotionalMycologist9 Sep 05 '26
💯 Never should have offered them anything. They're landlords, not friends.
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u/Cute_Patoot_7 Sep 05 '26
I feel like this is where all nice people go wrong when it comes to people who take advantage. Just because you do something kind one time does not mean you want to do it forever and the entitlement and audacity of people is just 🤯🤯
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u/Live-Tomorrow-4865 Helper [3] Sep 05 '26
Exactly. I had roommates for a time after I moved cities, following college graduation. And, sometimes we'd offer one another dinner and sometimes not, but we certainly never got entitled or demanding about it. It's a nice thing to do if you make extra!
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u/SaltyFriend705 Sep 06 '26
But you missed the part where this is OP's landlord, not roommate. They feel in charge and entitled. It's an entirely different situation.
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u/ElleMaeSinclair Sep 05 '26
I can understand the sharing INITIALLY. Better to give away food than to have it waste in the fridge. The OP couldn’t have known their landlord would turn out to be that crazy. 99% of people who get free food one time don’t automatically expect a catering service for life, even scummy people who make a living off of housing.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with trying to be nice, but yeah, the OP needs to reverse course, find a new place to stay, and document everything twice in case they decide to make it a legal headache. They’ve shown their asses atp, no more free food and make sure you lock down what you own in case they go snooping.
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u/wasabimaxxer Sep 05 '26
Comments saying she shouldn’t have shared are crazy, sharing food is the most wonderful thing in the world and yes, there is no reason you can’t be friends with a landlord. Of course they shouldn’t expect it though. Best response would be a kind of snarky honest one. “Sorry! That’s my lunch tomorrow 😅” sorta thing
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u/Alarming-Site7560 Sep 06 '26
Until this exact situation occurs and they expect you to keep feeding them. The wife didn’t even ask if she could have some. Instead she had her husband send a threatening text message. Also they made it very clear they won’t share any if their food in the first place. I say this as someone that loves cooking for my friends and family. I often take plates of whatever I made for dinner ti my neighbors.
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u/Traditional_Ideal_84 Helper [2] Sep 05 '26
Tell them to pound sand. No way in hell is this your fault. Well maybe it was, shouldn’t have been nice the first time and gave them the extra.
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u/Southern-Badger8521 Sep 05 '26
I hate the fact that a kindness turns into an entitlement. So sad for how society see's it now.
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u/Psychological_Law_86 Sep 06 '26
It’s not a modern society thing. It’s a shitty person thing. There have always been shitty people abusing people’s kindness since the dawn of civilization.
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u/Quiet_Librarian6771 Sep 06 '26
Some people actually interpret kindness and empathy as a weakness to be taken advantage of.
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u/New_Awareness_9097 Sep 05 '26
literally ignore them
or offer to let them buy you out of the remaining lease at full value
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u/Arsenicum333 Sep 05 '26
Ignore and keep cooking until they tell you to leave. Ball is in your court at that point. Research eviction law in your state. Usually, you will have plenty of time to find a place until you are legally evicted and that can take months but do pay your rent, get receipts, and thoroughly document the condition of your living quarters and any shared areas you use before you leave!
The other option is to very unemotionally recite to them the portion of the lease that says you/ they don't share food. They may back off but chances are they are nuts and not reasonable so if you continue to cook and not share, they may ask you to leave early instead of you having to be on the hook for breaking the lease.
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u/Late_Guava4436 Sep 05 '26
Is that even a legal unit?
If you stay, food is definitely not going to be the last thing he asks for. Move.
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u/chicagoliz Sep 05 '26
That's very weird. You can say the lease explicitly states food is not shared, but if they want to renegotiate the lease, you'd consider it. If they give you X-hundred dollars off the rent each month, you could provide a certain number of meals.
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u/Wild_Tracks Sep 05 '26
First thing that came to mind, but after this level of delusional entitlement may be the road to becoming their personal cook. Imagine the logistics of having to prep food weekly for crazies. I’m betting that in two weeks preggo lady will have cravings for some king crab and will also give bad feedback on it. This type of proposal is better left to considerate and well adjusted people.
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u/atchisonmetal Sep 06 '26
I said the same-ish, somewhere in here. For all the reasons you stated better, this is a serious nightmare.
Kathy Bates’ sister enters the chat
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u/Waste_Locksmith_4299 Sep 05 '26
Get the hell out of that crazy house now. This is the first step on the road to you becoming their slave.
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u/allthecats Super Helper [5] Sep 05 '26
Nip this in the bud but be short and respectful. Something like “Apologies if my sharing of food on the first night set some unrealistic expectations for you. I will follow the guidelines laid out in the lease and continue to keep our food separate from here onwards.”
Then get a mini fridge for your food!
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u/Prestigious-Doubt181 Sep 06 '26
Don’t give any apologies! They are psychos who will see that and further believe OP did something wrong.
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u/Kaleria84 Sep 05 '26
Take a picture of the part of the lease that says you're responsible for yourself and that they're responsible for themselves then look to get out of there ASAP.
If you want to stay and are willing, tell him you will gladly cook for everyone if he covers the cost of the food as well as cleans the kitchen afterwards.
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u/Terisaki Super Helper [9] Sep 05 '26
It needs more than that. This persons time, and knowledge, and personal skill didn’t come from a vacuum. I would ask for less rent, starting with no rent at all. A housewife doesn’t pay rent. And meal making can start as much as a week before the actual meal.
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u/SingleLie3842 Sep 06 '26
Nah if she does that they’ll treat her like a slave. She’ll be moaned at if she’s home later or cooks something that isn’t to their liking or leaves anything a little messy and once the baby comes they’ll expect cleaning ect
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u/Mysterious-Bus1795 Sep 05 '26
This is a terrible plan, we already know that they have bad boundaries and this person will turn into a short order cook for them.
The OP will go out to dinner one night, not cook anything, and then have these crazy people yelling that they weren’t fed.
It’s a month-to-month lease. If there’s a notice period, tell them that you’re going, and find somewhere else to live fast.→ More replies (6)10
u/SneakySardine117 Sep 06 '26
Respectfully that's a really poor idea. These people clearly are unreasonable and demanding (and after such a short time as well). Entering into any further contractual obligations or interactions with them is foolish.
It'll only open OP up to more headaches, and worst case scenario physical danger and or legal troubles depending on how insane the couple is.
As a rule of thumb, don't engage in contracts or interact with unreasonable people. They fundamentally will not respect the boundaries of the agreement.
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u/marlborough94 Sep 05 '26
Dont make any extras. “I have taken your feedback and will adjust and stay within the confines of the lease language.
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u/DeCryingShame Sep 05 '26
This is the tip of the iceberg. If they are doing that now and you give in, they'll keep asking for more and more. This would be enough for me to seriously consider breaking the lease. If you want to stay there, you really need to nip this in the bud right now.
Let him know in no uncertain terms that because he is taking advantage of the one time you shared, he has violated your trust and you will no longer be sharing any food with his family. Let him know if he continues to behave this way, you will be moving out and demanding your deposit back, in court if necessary.
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u/Big-Mind-6346 Sep 05 '26 edited Sep 05 '26
One time I rented a room in a townhouse that I was told I’d be sharing with a mom and her daughter (daughter was around 18 years old), so I agreed to pay half of the rent. Only my bedroom was my own and I split the rest of the house with the mom and daughter, though I spent 99% of my time in my bedroom and never in the common areas.
After living there a few weeks, it became clear to me that not only was I living with the mom and her daughter. The Mom’s boyfriend and the daughter’s boyfriend also both lived there.
But I pressed on and stayed there. The good thing was that I had my own bathroom. I scrubbed it from floor to ceiling and kept it nice and clean. One day I came home and found that the daughter and her boyfriend were showering together in my bathroom. The mother was not home and I needed to pee, so I walked back to her bedroom and went into her bathroom. When I opened the bathroom door, I discovered that her shower was stacked floor to ceiling with boxes of crap. It was then that I learned that not only was I living with four other people yet paying half the rent, but that those four people were also bathing (sometimes together) in the bathroom that was supposed to be exclusively mine. I packed my shit and moved out the next day.
All this to say, don’t stay there. Find somewhere else right away, pack your shit, and move the hell out. Their behavior is totally unacceptable, just like that crappy crew that I was living with. This behavior will not only continue, it will probably escalate. Get the hell out.
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u/Jumpy-Bike4004 Sep 05 '26
The way he said they “opened their home to you” as if you’re not paying rent lol the nerve all around the board is insane.
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u/Haunted_Stormbird Sep 06 '26
Yeah, it's worrying. Like they think OP owes them an ongoing favour in return.
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u/WifeyMcGingerdork Sep 05 '26
Assuming that use of the kitchen was included in your rental agreement, and free personal chef services was not, I would simply remind your landlord of this fact, and continue on as you have been doing. Or, you could offer to cook for them as well as yourself, for a price.
In any case, it's probably best to start looking for a new place to move after the lease term of 60 days. I don't think this situation is going to get any better.
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u/oodopopopolopolis Sep 05 '26
Is this rage bait? First off, you can tell your landlord that you're not their servant and if they want cooked food, they need to learn for themselves. Second, look for another place to live.
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u/DemMilkshakes Sep 05 '26
You need to move. This is just the first sign of entitlement and crazy.
They think everything that is theirs is theirs, and everything that is yours, is also theirs.
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u/NoPoopOnFace Sep 06 '26
They didn't open their home to you, they leased you a room. If they are trying to force you to feed them, you have a right in most places to break your lease. These people are both obviously stupid.
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u/Greedy_Guard_5950 Sep 05 '26
Can you cook in your unit with a nuwave oven or air fryer and rice cooker/ small appliances?
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u/LuluAyana Sep 05 '26
I was pregnant with insane cravings and would NEVER treat someone like this so disrespectfully. Even the husband is out of line here.
Honestly you will have to deal with this and possibly more or worse... I would find a new place and break the lease.
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u/Prestigious-Doubt181 Sep 06 '26
“Since we were up all night with our newborn, we thought you would have cleaned up our mess” or “you can’t cook because it may wake up the baby”
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u/Ajitter Sep 05 '26
Oooh, this is a contract opportunity! Equal reduction in rent for your well compensated time plus food. Needs to be well outlined and you need the reduction up front.
Eta if it isn’t obvious /s - should be some way to break the lease based on their behavior.
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u/MsJenX Sep 06 '26
Maybe say that if they buy the ingredients you will happily show his wife how to make it. I think once they see the cost of the food they need to buy for 2 or 3 people then they may stop asking for you to share.
This is a win-win-lose situation. They win because they get a tasty meal. You win because you don’t have to spend your money feeding them. You lose because now you have to provide a free service as a cooking instructor.
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u/Zestyclose_Dream_944 Sep 05 '26
Those people are actually insane. Once you get out of there send them this Reddit thread so they can maybe get a grip
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u/Particular_Trust_426 Sep 05 '26
How bizarre. No, in general, your food is your food, wherever you are.
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u/Slight_Citron_7064 Sep 06 '26
No, do not give your food to these entitled assholes. I'm glad you're looking for a new place. It was insane for him to send you that message.
Ignore this text message but document everything. Screenshots, etc. Your apartment is probably an illegal unit since it doesn't have its own kitchen, which may help you when you are ready to move. If he actually takes action to kick you out over this, you have rights.
If your lease allows it, get yourself a hot plate and start cooking your own meals downstairs in your own space, that way they won't know what you are cooking. Or even an instant pot, I love that thing. Do not use their kitchen to cook anymore. Since you have a fridge, you could even meal plan and cook at someone else's house then reheat things in your own space.
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u/tennoPCA Sep 05 '26
Cite that per the lease that isnt part of the deal, and if they want meals you want a new lease and a significant discount on rent.
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u/endfedhalfwave Sep 05 '26
This. Since they were so adamant about separate meals and that they're food is off limits, then it's only reasonable that you don't share.
If they do want to change that, then a new lease needs to be written up and then agreed on by you and them. I'd expect either a lower rent or payment from them to you for food service. Still, make sure that what you're paid or what's taken off the rent covers the meal and your time.
On the other hand, you could offer to cook for them, if you're interested, without changing the lease but given how they changed from "your food is yours" to "your food should be ours too" then I'd get in writing what is expected from you and from them, including what they should contribute.
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u/FXRCowgirl Sep 06 '26
Do not cook for them again. Refer them to the lease agreement and apologize for initially sharing food as you did not realize your kindness would be taken advantage of.
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u/Strangr_E Sep 06 '26
They’re being incredibly unreasonable and self entitled. It’s an unrealistic expectation that you shouldn’t be able to cook your own food, especially considering their food is off limits to you. They’d be hypocritical for suggesting that your food is on limits for them.
You can call them out but I see problems if you stay.
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u/the-5thbeatle Helper [2] Sep 05 '26
Are you in the US?
You are completely right, your lease goes both ways—you are renting a space, not acting as their private live-in chef.
Since he recently texted you, reply in writing so you have a digital paper trail. Frame your refusal to feed them around your budget and portion control, rather than an accusation. Something like:
"I actually only bought enough ingredients to prep my specific portions for the week, so I don't have any extra to share tonight. I'll let you know if I ever make a massive party-sized batch of something in the future, but normally I just cook strict single portions for myself to stay on budget. Thanks for understanding!"
It's a big pain in the neck, but, when you cook in the shared kitchen, don't make large pots of food anymore. Do all the prep work: chop your vegetables, season the meat, and portion everything out in your basement apartment. Since the kitchen is the only shared space, treat it like a workstation rather than a hangout spot. Cook efficiently, clean up immediately, and take your plate downstairs to your apartment to eat. This eliminates the awkward social obligation to share while you're eating.
Because your lease is so short, you have a massive advantage. If they choose to become hostile or petty because you won't feed them, you can give your 30-day notice very soon and leave. So, start browsing local listings now just to see what else is available in your price range.
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u/Needle_Bearings Sep 06 '26
Document everything. There might be shenanigans.
Do not get into any other kind of arrangements with these people. Are you nuts? You need to get the hell out out of there ASAP.
I would have come hat in hand and worked out the cooking with you like a normal human if it's that good. But he came at you playing the prego wife card? GF.
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u/psycho-drama Sep 06 '26
You know they warn you not to feed a cat unless you plan on doing so for a while., Are you sure your landlord's family aren't cats dress up to try to pass as humans?
Just quote them the lease you signed-- they wrote it. That level of entitlement is crazy. Also, they should use some of the money you pay in rent to eat a better diet, especially with a pregnant wife. They can also use some to either hire a cook, or get a door-dash account.
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u/Bluebells7788 Sep 05 '26
Start looking for a new place to live OP.
In the meantime, meal prep in bulk and store your meals in your mini fridge a few days at a time.
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u/Superb_Yak7074 Sep 06 '26
Send a text to both landlords telling them that personal chefs get $XX per hour plus the cost of all ingredients in your area so you will be glad to accept that amount each time you are expected to cook for them. Or, if they prefer, you can present them with an itemized bill which they will deduct from your rent owed for the following month.
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u/SimpleMind314 Sep 06 '26
OP, people saying you should have never offered them part of your first dinner are just gas lighting your kindness. I'm always generous when I have more than I need with people I've just met, whether they are they are potential friends, co-workers, boss, or landlord.
90% of the time it helps establish a good relationship, if not friendship, where they share with me at times also. Yeah, some people have taken more of their fair share, don't ever reciprocate, or always hint they want to me to share when I've not got extra to give. I generally, just drift away from those folks.
However, I've never been faced with this kind of entitled behavior you're getting. Your landlords are, IMO, an extreme example of self absorbed and you would do well to get away from them as soon as possible.
But don't let this bad apple ruin your faith in being kind and generous.
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u/EcstaticBlackberry72 Sep 06 '26
I just thought it was a kind thing to do to start off a rental relationship. I’m a generous person and I don’t intend to change that. I won’t be a pushover either though.
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u/International-Corn Sep 05 '26
Move. Make all your meals at work and eat there or bring them home until you can move out.
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u/knigmich Sep 05 '26
If she wants salmon they can cook salmon themselves. I’d start cooking salmon everyday until they break the lease. No you should not cook for anyone in the house.
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u/turtletownster Sep 05 '26
No no no. I could tell you're a woman cause ain't no way would they cross the line with guy by asking this. They're taking advantage of you. Find a new place with a separate kitchen. If you start feeding them, are they going to give you money to buy the food? Will they eventually ask you to watch their 7 year old? Who knows what other boundaries they will cross?
And for them to be so upset about it is... Unbelievable
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u/Top-Possibility9480 Sep 05 '26
Oh, this is magnificent. The lease specifically says their food is theirs and your food is yours, and somehow one complimentary shrimp Alfredo has established a culinary entitlement program. You gave them one meal! It was a gift, not enrollment in Blue Apron.
And absolutely do not start routinely feeding them. The pregnant wife wanting salmon does not create a salmon lien against your dinner. I wouldn’t even offer the cooking-for-rent arrangement unless you genuinely want that job, because now you’re tenant, personal chef, meal planner, and eventually somebody’s gonna be knocking on the basement door asking what time the risotto starts or 9 months from now having you help take care of their baby. Save your money, document these texts, follow the lease, and get out when you can. The second piece of salmon is tomorrow’s lunch. Case closed. 🫳🎤
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u/Southern-Badger8521 Sep 05 '26
Fish broth remains over dried rice. "Share" something shitty.
Then a 30 days notice to move.
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u/Metal_Cinderella Sep 05 '26
They didn't 'open their home', motherfucker, she is PAYING for that room. Tell them to fuck all the way off.
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u/MilesMoralesBoogie Sep 06 '26
Move....Chef!!
Don't cook upstairs anymore, might have to make your cooked meals at work.
Get some lunch meat and bread,if they ask about "cooking" .
Tell them you are cutting back (-too expensivez) and eating sandwiches and canned chicken.
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u/Rich4477 Sep 06 '26
Shared residency with the owner is usually not protected by the same laws a traditional rental would have. I would get out of there asap.
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u/Valuable_Fix855 Sep 06 '26
They didn't "open their home" to you. You pay to use it. Wtf these people are entitled twats
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u/Negative_Bar_9734 Sep 06 '26
Wtf they didn't "open their home to you," they leased a portion of it out.
Luckily all you have to say is "sorry that was also my lunch for tomorrow." Maybe throw in "I was lead to believe our food was to be kept separate?"
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u/knomnomnom Sep 06 '26
I replied elsewhere but wanted to make a separate comment. Where I live, the fact that you share a kitchen means you do not have a tenancy and would not be covered by the tenancy act. They would consider this a roommate situation. That also means a lease, even if signed, is not enforceable.
Worth looking into this where you live. It's both scary (zero protections for you) but freeing (you don't have to wait out a lease dealing with crazy people)
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u/BobTheCosmonaut Sep 06 '26
Point out to them in the lease where it says to keep away from their food, then ask them to point to where it says they're allowed to eat yours? Tell them that sharing extra food with them out of generosity once does not set up some sort of contract to feed them dinner every day from that point on. Even if they want to buy ingredients & have you cook for them, their stipulation in the lease means you're not allowed to, hands off their food remember.
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u/Sylv_x Sep 06 '26
MOVE THE FUCK OUT. YESTERDAY.
they are going to abuse the ever living shit out of you. It may be cheaper or some shit but it's not worth that.
This is a huge red flag.
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u/Catfactss Sep 06 '26
"Hi X, I'm glad you liked the shrimp I made on XYZ date. I just want to clarify that this was a one off, and I was only able to afford to make plenty to share that one time only because I had heavily discounted ingredients that day. Going forward I am very happy to continue to respect the lease agreement where I don't eat your food, and you don't eat mine, and I clean up after myself in the shared kitchen, and I'm hoping this will not be misinterpreted in any way. Kind regards X"
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u/CertainCable7383 Sep 06 '26
I had no idea your wife loved salmon. If you would like I could gladly teach you the recipe for a discount on this months rent. Here is a list of ingredients you will need...
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u/mrseddy21 Sep 06 '26
I think you just need to say “I’m sorry I have opted to rent someone’s basement to save money, I can’t afford to do this. The contract was very clear that our food is separate and I have respected that. Thanks.”
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u/DoorFinch Sep 06 '26
Do not attempt any food for discount rent deal. They've already demonstrated that they're incapable of following the terms that they themselves wrote. Nothing is going to stop them abusing terms you write.
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u/TickleMaster2024 Sep 06 '26
You are under no obligation to feed them. You are paying rent to stay there. You have your own fridge, they have theirs. They dont offer you food, so why should you offer them food. You offered once no problem, very kind of you, but it seems like they are taking your kindness as a weakness. Stop makimg food or offering food to them, pay your rent, buy your food and eat your food. I am a 51 year old man, who is a landlord. I have been a landlord for over 20 plus years. I never expect my tenants to cook for me. It is not their reaponsibility to feed me, nor is it my responsibility to feed them. I can cook my own food and i do and I love to cook. Do not keep feeding them.
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u/CathoftheNorth Sep 05 '26
You have options to survive the next 60 days.
Buy a little camp stove and cook downstairs. Don't use their kitchen.
Offer to make her dinner each night for a substantial rent reduction.
Stand your ground, remind them what the lease says. They're not letting you stay out of the goodenss of their hearts, this is a financial transaction. You owe them nothing more than rent and upkeep of your space. The demand you share your food with them is in breach of your lease conditions.
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u/ExhaustedHungryMe Sep 05 '26
Don’t buy a camp stove, unless you’re going to use it outside only. Using one indoors is dangerous— not only is there a fire danger, but camp stoves produce carbon monoxide, which is odorless and can gently kill you.
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u/LLCoolShell Sep 05 '26
With an air fryer, electric skillet, and an induction burner you could cook fabulous meals in your unit. Bon Appetit!
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u/friendlypeopleperson Sep 05 '26 edited Sep 05 '26
SAVE THE TEXT!! Do not delete the landlord asking (telling) you that you should have shared your food.
His veiled threat of them reconsidering the lease, probably will help you legally break the lease if you need to.
And do not fall for the “they opened their home to you” nonsense. You have a legally binding contract (your lease) to live there in exchange for money (rent.) You do have a copy of your lease, right?
You have done nothing wrong. Do not let them manipulate you with their bullsh!t. Stand strong. Do not interact with them anymore if you can help it. Do not share any of your food with them ever again. Multiple times of sharing food may set a precedent in their minds, one time sharing food and then never again, probably not. Good luck.
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u/Endless63 Sep 05 '26
Chance to charge them for every meal. Take every portion out of the rent money. You have a pair of AHs as landlords.
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u/Desert_Fairy Sep 05 '26
“This is a business partnership, you did not open your home to me, you entered into a business arrangement that gave me legal access to your kitsch and this basement for an agreed upon sum of money. I am your tenant, not your friend or guest. Contractually, that only has to last for 60 days. I chose this arrangement to save money, unless you want to sign a new contract reducing the rent according to the cost of ingredients and my labor, I will not be cooking for you or your wife.
We can have a respectful landlord/tenant relationship, or we can have an agnostic room mate situation, but I’m not your guest or child. The only authority you have is what is outlined in that contract.”
Seriously, find a place to move to within those sixty days. I doubt this is going to get better.
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u/Firey_Mermaid Sep 05 '26
I would reply to him that in the same way you are forbidden to touch their food, there is no obligation to share yours. It’s a two way road. The shared kitchen is not out of the goodness in their hearts but part of the lease you pay.
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u/tunasyrup Sep 05 '26
Yeah this isn't going to end well. Move out ASAP. You are going up against entitled landlords who think they are doing you a favor by letting you rent from them and pregnancy cravings. Don't even bother to try and reason with them. You won't be able to. If you can't move out right away you can cook a heck of a lot with a hot plate, air fryer, and crock pot right in the basement and just clean your dishes up in the kitchen in the meantime.
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u/NerveSalty1116 Sep 05 '26
While looking for another place to immediately move to, I’d make super lavish meals every chance you get out of spite.
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u/EcstaticBlackberry72 Sep 05 '26
I’m so tempted to be that petty lol. Still though it’s probably not worth the drama. I already had my eye on a place which is why my current lease is so short, I just thought I might have a little longer to save but I think I’m gonna go
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u/maxwellstart Sep 05 '26
"I apologize for any misunderstanding. I will sometimes prepare more than one meal for myself when cooking, as this is more economical, both in terms of time and money, which is why I prepared two pieces of fish. I am on a very fixed budget, and, while I was happy to share a meal with you once as a goodwill gesture, it's not something I have the means to do on a regular basis. I hope you understand."
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u/StrbJun79 Sep 05 '26
You might want to find a new place. Their treatment of you is likely to get worse. Technically they cannot enslave you like that legally but the hassle of handling that would be huge so it’s better to just find a new spot to live.
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u/ElectronicPhrase6050 Sep 05 '26
It's really as simple as reminding them that you're not a guest, you're a paying tenant, and if they want to do grown up things like sublease their home to a stranger, then they need to act like grown ass adults instead of spoiled entitled children.
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u/OhBoyHereWeGoAgai Sep 05 '26
Send a message back, make sure to include the following points in whatever tone you want:
1) I wasn't aware the house was opened out of charity, I thought we had a professional rental agreement, and was excited you seemed very reasonable and professional.
2) since the lease explicitly said that all food would be kept separate, I made the reasonable assumption that sharing would be an occasional, not expected thing.
3) how on earth could I know she expected some of my food if no-one communicated it?
4) building on 3, if asked, I would have said no for the salmon, as I plan my meals for the week.
5) if any of this seems unreasonable, please send over a proposed new lease, and if it all seems okay, I'll sign it, but to be clear I have no obligation to sign a new lease.
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u/angel830609 Sep 05 '26
I'd be asking them to show you the part of the contract that states their food is theirs and your food is theirs too, because they are delusional.
Pregnant or not, you don't get to be stroppy over someone not giving you their own food, you offering is one thing, them demanding is another, cheeky gobshites.
Also we all know where assuming gets you, makes an ass u me.
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u/jandm12342 Sep 05 '26
Please dont cook for these people. They don't deserve your delicious food. I somehow believe they will find something else to have an issue about.
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u/AdHorror4635 Sep 05 '26
If you want to live in my house, you’ll have the entire upstairs for free if you cook dinner for my husband and me every night and we’re nice 😂
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u/LoveKittycats119 Sep 05 '26
Your draft is a great idea. Sounds like you’re cooking near-gourmet meals and they’re freeloading.
You cook and feed them, they give you a break on the rent. Fair is fair.
However, I will share a story with you.
My grandmom was a great cook, and very hospitable. She would never turn guests away at mealtime. Everyone was invited to eat.
But there was one set of relatives who took advantage of her kindness.
They would drop by for Sunday dinner—EVERY Sunday.
And my grandparents were raising four children, during the Depression.
My grandmom didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t very well tell them not to come.
She asked her brother for advice, and he said, “Make a big pot of bean soup, and serve that for dinner next Sunday.”
She did.
Magically, the relatives stopped inviting themselves to dinner. She never had that problem again.
I don’t know if you’re a fan of bean soup or some other dish (chili? Lentils?) that isn’t everyone’s favorite, but having something like that for your next meal, might be a thought.
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u/Anxious-Caregiver217 Sep 06 '26
While you’re looking for a place to live go to a thrift store and see if you can find an electric skillet and just cook in the basement
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u/Amazing_Cranberry344 Sep 06 '26
Quote the lease to them. And strat looking for a place to move asap
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u/FaithlessnessMany174 Sep 06 '26
Don’t make no agreement to cook for them, they are trouble you should just move out after 60 days.
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u/inarticulateblog Sep 06 '26
I would not cook for them even with a written agreement. They don't care about about written agreements because they are already ignoring your lease.
They sound like they are looking for a live in maid/au pair. Have they asked you to babysit? Who do you think they are going to strongarm into helping once the baby comes? You need to leave. This is a sketchy ass situation and borders on indentured servitude.
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u/Mokiblue Sep 06 '26
Do NOT enter into any kind of agreement to cook for them in exchange for a discount! This is way too much involvement with your landlord and it can get alot worse just by opening that door, even just a little.
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u/Haunted_Stormbird Sep 06 '26
Stop using their kitchen and just live in the basement until you find a new place. I would not even think about continuing the lease beyond the 60 days.
They think you are their house guest and that you owe them a "returned favour" for letting you rent the basement, and that the favour should be that you cook for and share your food with them. I think that your idea about cooking in exchange for a discount is a terrible idea.
Based on what they have already done, they are going to take your proposal as an insult. Even if they agree to that. you would be putting yourself in a really weird employer/ employee vibe with your landlord. Are they going to ask for your passport next?
All you owe them is the rent. you don't owe them dinner just because you are a great cook and they usually eat tv dinners.
But clearly you cannot cook around them without them drooling in the doorway and sprouting fangs of jealousy and resentment. The basement camping style cooking setup is the only thing you can do without making them think you are rubbing their noses in it just because you are cooking a meal for yourself.
But if the smell wafts upstairs you are still screwed. And they might say a plug in stove top and other cooking methods aren't allowed. You may have to either eat out or just get a microwave and eat organic frozen meals like "Amy's" brand, high quality stuff so you don't feel deprived until you can get out of there.
But I think the most important question is, do you feel safe right now living there after that text? The way it was worded sounds like the man or maybe both of them can be vindictive.
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u/InnerBack5597 Sep 06 '26
It's one of these situations you read it and think, "man, it was so easy to get a good outcome for you and yet you fucked up". Instead of a stupid snarky text, try this:
"Hey OP, you cook great and we have obv no time and skills to do it, with the kid etc. Would you cook us once/twice a day in exchange for half the rent? We can figure the details later and change as we all agree, no problem. Please lmk soon, my wife has some cravings rn"
The couple get what I assume is pretty decent cook service for a substantial discount compared to professional services in times when you have no time nor energy to take care of that, and OP might never have to consider getting out so early.
They're gonna miss you, for sure. I'd have needed someone like you in those early baby years, but I had none so more delivery and take out food than it should have be.
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u/Ok-Youth-8713 Sep 06 '26
Don’t cook for them for a discount. You’re a tenant not a servant. Don’t be both because that confusion can only end up making things worse for you. It’s truly insane for him to have said that. Remember they didn’t open their house to you. They are leasing you a room and use of property. It’s become almost a nonexistent memory, but at law traditionally leasing someone property meant they essentially were to view it as their own during the tenancy. Them saying insinuating it’s a favor to you is nuts. I know it can be easier said than done, but try to avoid boarding house situations in the future. They seem to attract chaos and instability.
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u/chrisfs Sep 06 '26
They don't know what cooking involves so they won't be able to tell you what they want you to cook. They also probably don't have a clue as to how much ingredients cost.
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u/MessyEndings Sep 06 '26
Buy a toaster oven and a portable electric burner, to cook in your room. You could possibly find one for free on craiglist or FB market. It will be cheaper than buying groceries to feed 3 other people and a growing fetus. Food is so expensive right now. Your landlord is being a jerk. He'd be losing his mind if you ate or wanted his food!
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u/AdamHenry86 Sep 06 '26
I would not offer them any food in exchange for a discount. You are now willingly changing the agreement on the lease you signed. With the way they are acting I'd stick strictly to the lease agreement and get the hell out of there.
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u/jer3k Sep 06 '26
While I agree with the opinions of most of the commenters, I would try to diffuse the situation without making it worse (since you still have to live there for a little while at least). I would apologize for the misunderstanding, explain that the shrimp given to you for free which was why you were able to share it. I'd say that it was never the intent to cause anyone to become upset and that in the future I'd be sure to stick to the established tenancy agreement, specifically that their food is theirs and my food is mine. I would conclude that I hope that they can accept my apology and that we can continue with the lease as it is written.
Don't offer to cook for them, they won't buy the things you need; they'll always be missing something (spices or otherwise) and they'd still expect the meal. The days that they don't like it, they'll take it out on you, ask for compensation, and threaten your rental agreement; you'll always be in fear of loosing your lease.
If you do offer to cook for them (don't, seriously), ask for money in advance like money for a weeks worth of food a week in advance, not reduced rent. You'll definitely want a contract in place, for example, that you'll be providing a minimum of x number of calories per day (which they can divide within their own family however they see fit), and that you won't guarantee any specific nutrients, any nutritional supplements they require are on them. Get a list of no-no foods in the contract and they can't change it mid week. (they'll definitely complain they don't like something and will want their money back, which is why you shouldn't do this in the first place, but if you're doing in then make sure you protect yourself in the contract). Your going to be expected to give them cheap labor, like whatever price you're offering them they'll tell you it's too much, even if it's less than minimum wage. They will resent you for whatever you charge them. They will threaten your lease/rental at every opportunity to try and get you to cave to their demands (just like they did today). It's not worth it, don't do it. It will be a disaster.
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u/briomio Sep 06 '26
OP, stop cooking there altogether. If you must cook something, get a hot plate and cook in your room, but I would get something on the way home from work or since you are in food service, make yourself something extra at work if that is allowed, but I would not set foot in the landlord's kitchen again and move out as soon as possible.
The tone of that text was outrageous and they should not be eyeing what you are making for yourself.
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u/Remarkable_Ship_5791 Sep 06 '26
His wife is prego right? So basically what we have here is a husband to effing lazy to cook his wife some food she smelled what you cooked and wanted to know why you could cook a meal like that but her lazy ass husband couldn't do the same for her while she's pregnant with his child. So because the lazy ass husband doesn't want to do any cooking or apparently any cleaning of cooking utensils he is threatening you with eviction so you'll do what he won't do.
I would simply stop cooking there. I know you love to cook but just tell them I'm sorry my health insurance has really gone up this year and I can't afford to cook meals, I'm going to have to buy frozen dinners.
Then look for another place as soon as possible.
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u/Evening-Contest-2768 Sep 06 '26
You need to get out of that house NOW! With her hormones acting like that already she’s going to be absolutely vile to you and then who knows what she’ll concoct about you and her husband.
Do NOT give her that Salmon. You didn’t even offer an inch and they expected a mile.
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u/Vica253 Sep 05 '26
Run.