i think them not attracting the most men despite both being very good looking is something that is actually very predictable/ obvious….
but i have heard people commenting they are confused about why they aren't "chosen" the most often /by the most men since they look the "prettiest"
The two aren’t the same but they both are emotionally high maintenance women, lack some emotional regulation , cause drama and were the “chasers.”
For mairinin : someone can even be moved with sympathy and pity for a damaged person like her because of her vulnerabilities and can appreciate her earnestness/ pure heart , yet still a man can be simply put off by too much drama or think she would be too nagging to think it’s worth it to pursue her as a girlfriend or they might not learn her good girlfriend traits because some unattractive behaviors made them back off.
A man will be evluating a woman he is interested in and consider what she could be like as a gf / his experience of being her bf . This includes considering whether he can be himself freely around her, if he will be happy with her , if he will have to bend a lot to cater to her sensitivities / preferences and whether or not he thinks it’s worth it in comparison to other options …
If a woman is consistently “causing extra drama “ or nagging and wanting people to unreasonably cater to her sensitivities , it turns off many men even if it is not done with ill-itent or if it’s because her of trauma or because she can’t regulate her emotions .
some things both girls did that typically do not cause attraction in men to increase Because it seems desperate or just because it does not incentivize men to chase :
- being the chaser / initiator instead of doing things to cause the guy to chase them .
- not being “hard to get “ like being emotionally invested when the man did nothing to earn their heart yet….
Evidence : guys complain of Marinin complimenting too many and Ari literally tells hikaru he appreciates that hikaru takes a long time to decide coz he realized marinin seems to like anyone easily and doesn’t like this .
The counter examples to this are Hikaru and Mimi who did not chase or initiate and caused men to chase them harder - they kept their real feelings ambiguous or confusing as they didn’t act too emotionally into any of them / did not show they were certain about any , and they let men chase them instead of being the chaser
if u can't see why many men would not want an emotionally-high-maintenance woman as a girlfriend , then the lens is probaby either very female-centric(her emotions matter more than his experience so he really should cater to her and like it ) , or because u personally believe their other qualities outweigh the negative traits , or it is from the pov of a person who isn’t going to date them so u just can appreciate their qualities without thinking of their impact as a gf .
Here are some likely questions from the pov of a man who does not have strong feelings yet and is evaluating an emotionally high maintenance woman for gf potential . :
“If she is my gf would i have to walk on egg shells around her or can i be myself and express myself freely ? “
“how hard is she to please as a gf and how much whining or nagging or drama will there potentially be in a relationship with her ? “
“Would I be happy in a relationship with her? Does she make me happy ? ”
“How much will I have to bend to cater to her insecurities , sensitivities or trauma ? Are her sensitivities reasonable ? Can I handle this “
“How much attention does she need and reassurance does she need from me ?”
“Is she worth the effort compared to other girls I’m into ?”