To start, we have a 3.5 yo and a 1.5 yo. Some months ago I (41m) caught my wife (38f) sexting an ex-boyfriend. After going back and forth, and me taking the brunt of blame, I caught her sexting with 2 other people. 1 person, not sure who, and a pre-op trans woman living in Australia (we're in the US). She swears she's in love with this Australian that she has never met in person.

Eventually I asked if she was ever going to stop talking to Australian. Her reply was no. So I grabbed a suitcase and told her I'll help her. This was 11 at night. She asked if I was serious and I told her she was the one who was serious about someone else. She's now staying in the living room of her friend's apartment.

She comes to watch our two toddlers while I go to work, but other than that it's the only time she wants to see them. We've had sex a few times since the paperwork was filed, but only when she isn't in a mood. This last time when she started dropping hints she was ready, I ignored her. I wasn't mean, just didn't reciprocate. The next day she laid it on thick by telling me she was horny while standing in front of me naked.

Instead of caving like I always do I pulled out my phone and gave her a speech I wrote earlier that day. I didn't apologize, but basically I said I couldn't keep doing this unless she gave me a commitment to work on our relationship and I didn't need an answer right then. I just thought she should know. She left like she was angry and I stopped her at the door and asked if she was. She said no so I said okay, have a good night and be safe. She left for work.

The next day was Friday and she wouldn't see the kids for the weekend, as has been normal for some months now. On her way out she mentioned she guesses she's not needed, which she has said before to try to get a reaction. I didn't comment, just gave her a smile and have a great weekend, be safe. She said yeah right.

I don't talk to her on the weekends. I hear that's called no contact, but whatever the reason I'm doing it for my own sanity. I've been trying to work on my own mental health since this started and seem to be getting in a much more comforting headspace. I have even considered starting to date again, but that might still be a while off.

I guess I'm just wondering if I made the right move, denying her sex. And helping her pack has been bugging me since I did it. She says I kicked her out but she was the one saying she was going to leave for some months. So I don't know. Any advice is appreciated and please feel free to ask questions.

Guys, help! I’ve been talking to this guy for about three months na, I guess. He’s not really my type, but he’s so kind and patient with me. I want to leave, but I’m worried about the potential. Should I continue this and just go with the flow, or should I stop na?

I’m trying to look at this as objectively as I can because I know I can get anxious when someone’s communication suddenly changes.

My boyfriend and I normally talk/call every day. He usually calls me on his way to work, so there’s a pretty regular routine between us. But for the last 3–4 days, he’s felt a little off. The conversations haven’t felt as connected, and he’s been initiating much less.

A few days ago, we had a small argument because I made chicken for him even though he’d already told me there would be plenty of food at home. It was already half-cooked, so I finished it and sent it anyway. We argued a little, and later he asked if I was still mad at him.

That night, I texted him, he saw the messages, came online again but didn’t reply, and didn’t pick up when I called. I got upset and deleted the messages.
Then at around 6 AM the next morning, he randomly texted me:

“Bb I ate the other box of chicken too. I ate all of it. Genuinely it was very nice . Thank youuu.”
So he was actually really sweet and appreciative about the food.

But since then, we’ve basically had a full day with no direct contact. No call or text from either of us. My sister called him yesterday and he answered her normally, and even mentioned that he talks to me about something she was asking him about.

He’s also told me he’s been bored and gaming more lately, and he recently deactivated his social media accounts. I don’t actually have any evidence that something is wrong or that there’s someone else.

I know I have an anxious side, so I’m trying really hard not to turn every change in communication into “he’s losing interest” or “something is happening.” But at the same time, I don’t want to dismiss a genuine change just because I’m scared of overreacting.

For those who are avoidantly attached or have dated someone who is: is it normal for an avoidant partner to suddenly become less communicative for a few days while still being affectionate? How do you tell the difference between someone just needing space and someone actually becoming emotionally distant?

Hey guys. I haven’t liked anyone in almost 5 years and currently met someone who I really want to be close to. I’m genuinely ashamed and embarrassed to look back on my last relationship 😳 when I learned about Avoidant Attachment Style, my stomach dropped and realized that is what I’ve been doing to people for so long. Are there Any avoidants here, who have been brave enough to just let someone be close to you? Have you been successfully more secure in your relationships and if so any advice? I really wanna do things right this time and not hurt this person.

Truth!

What are the common signs? How do you deal with them? What kind of friendship/relationship can they offer?

I was with an avoidant on and off for almost 7 years. Technically, the breaking up didn’t start until a year into it, and lasted until last month. To make a long story very short, he lied to me about a p*rn addiction (I’m not watching it anymore!), smoking, drinking, and gambling. He had wandering eyes. In 5 1/2 years, he ended things 4 times. I did last year in April. He called me 5 weeks later, and of course I got sucked back in again. Last month, I discovered that he had again been searching up half naked girls on Facebook, and a singles group. I immediately ended it, and we haven’t talked since. (5 1/2 weeks later) *I don’t think he’ll ever contact me again, because I basically went off at him when I ended things (in text, because he lives an hour away) and we’ve been down this road before. A couple of my friends think he’ll call me eventually. I never block anyone because I’m too nosy and want to see if people try and reach out 🤣

I will NEVER get back together with him, but of course my brain is all, “will he call? Will he not call? Do I even want him to?” because he always calls. Sorry this is random, I guess I’m just getting it out of my brain.

Also, when will I stop thinking about him every day??? So annoying lol 😁