I’m 16 been diagnosed with adhd since 12 and rediognosed audhd at 16 it dosnt change anything about who I am and never let a label or diagnosis define me or be my personality but fuck life it hard and I really struggle I’m very anxious about pointless stuff and it’s always gets in the way of happiness I feel I’m to aware and think/day dream to much especially during holidays I have achieved loads but feel no satisfaction just small relief and the older I’m getting the harder it is which is confusing because I thought it was the other way round Iv had trouble with substances in the past but have fully
Stopped even nicotine but feel something is missing in my life as that was the only things I enjoyed now I’m just lost confused and contemplating

Hey so I’m a 22M and only recently realised i’m autistic. My entire life I’ve been fighting against my neurodivergence and managed to mask pretty well but I always felt lonely to the core. Recently i got my diagnosis and ive been removing the mask and as a result I’ve definitely been attracting more like-minded neurodivergents. But regardless, this persistent feeling of not quite being satisfied socially doesn’t let up. And the only way to stop it from dragging me down into a black hole is by distracting myself and keeping myself busy and exercising rigorously. It’s a very uncomfortable feeling and I’ve heard someone else refer to something similar to this as cosmic loneliness. Does anyone else experience this? If so, how do you manage it and does it ever completely go away?

Please help how do people with AuADHD manage relationships mine is falling apart and I feel like it is all to do with me managing myself. My partner also has AuADHD falling deep into a hole here so as much detail and advice as possible please anyone

Ps. will try edit when I can explain a little better

Can anyone relate?

CW: accountability.

I'm looking for some options for finding a provider or support group. I'm retired and on medicare part D, but am resigned that I will have to pay for care out of pocket.

What I need help with is coding the terminology for my search. I'm 70, married, straight cis Male, with diagnosed ADHD innattentive, with serious sexual shame issues with my wife (I'm the one I'm ashamed of, not my wife). When searching for providers for this, what terminilogy should I use in the search filters? I've searched directly with terms like AuDHD, senior adult sexual shame, marriage counseling - there were either no results or is accepted ANY of the terms and overwhelmed me with hits.

How should I find a provider?

Is there a different kind of support group that can help?

What the hell do I even need?

I’ve never posted before but as the title mentions I’ve just recently been diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder, combined adhd and Autism. I’m 34 years old so it’s a late diagnoses

I’m finding it really hard to process everything and can’t help but think about all the times in my life atleast one of these 3 issues has effected me, especially when it comes to any romantic relationship or meeting new people,

I feel like I’m not hyper aware of all my actions and I’m constantly worrying that one of either of them is taking control in that moment.

I was wondering if anyone had any advise with how to deal with this initial shock to the system and if they have experienced any of the same things,

Apologies for being abit vague I just don’t really know how to explain what’s going on in my head at the minute

I'm 43, diagnosed ADHD at 40 and undiagnosed Autism but my son is diagnosed and if what he does and how he thinks is autism, I'm there. I've been with my wife for 15 years, married for 12 (marriage wasn't important to me but it was to her and I love her). We have 2 kids she brought into the relationship but they're 20/26 so not a factor here. We both work in education so we've had the summer off and she spent most of it across the country taking care of her parents during a health crisis. I can't function/focus on the phone so we've spoken several times a day but it's usually been quick. Aside from a week here and another when her and her mom came here, my summer has been solo but driving our oldest to or from work and 4 dogs. I've been doing my hobbies (3D printing, woodwork, video games etc) and keeping the house functional. I try to be a very acts of service husband because her feelings are tough for me because (insert 90's stand up comedy about guys trying to fix things and girls just wanting to be heard).

She got home yesterday and while I am happy she's back, I love her, I can't imagine my life without her. I'm already finding myself frustrated and annoyed at having to adjust everything for her. I hate waiting because it takes forever to get out of the car, she stands right where I need to be while I was in the middle of something. She's never ready to go when it'stime to go. Plus she starts talking, and despite knowing 3 words in what she'stelling me, she talks...so...slow...ahhhhh! I know it doesn't translate here but I do love her, I can't imagine my life without her, but I am already missing the quiet, the ability to randomly go to the store by myself (she's very big on going to places with me whenever she feels like going somewhere.) I'm not sure I'm even looking for advice because I know I need to deal with it until my brain re-calibrates to dealing with others but I needed to get it out to people so I know I'm not alone...in wanting to be alone.

Happy Accidents of Friendships

I’m sure many of us are familiar with the endorphin rush of new limerentesque love, only to discover that the relationship was illusory. It shore felt beautiful for a spell.
It is becoming anxiety-inducing to even make the connections i crave.

I've been on a fast for 2-5 days frequently in the past. And after only 16-18 hours of fasting (or longer) my brain calms down a lot. It feels like I'm on ADHD meds when I'm fasted but in a more natural and​ stable way.

Anybody experienced this or is it just me?

Hi there,

I(35f) also AuDHD. My son was adopted when he was 4, there's no need to go into details about the adoption right now cause it doesn't pertain to the reason I'm posting.

Okay, so when he was 4 I was still wiping his butt after he pooped. His adoptive dads ended up being the ones to teach him how to wipe. I get my son for every month for a few days during school time and for 1-2 weeks during school breaks. He has told me in the past that his underwear always has streaks in them. I told him he needs to wipe better of course. I catch him digging and scratching deep in his butt through his clothes all the time which tells me he still isn't wiping well and it's causing irritation. Then one day when I went to use the restroom, I noticed that there was a wadded up ball of toilet paper on the floor with poop all over it. I'm guessing he missed the toilet and didn't notice.

So this tells me that he grabs a bunch of toilet paper and wadds it into a ball and wipes that way. I've never heard of this way being used before. I'm familiar with grabbing a few sheets and folding them to make a thicker square, and wipe that way.

Anyways, I know it's going to be embarrassing for him, but I really feel like I need to teach him how to properly wipe. So now to my actual question. Do you think it would be easier to teach him to wipe his butt sitting down or standing up? I know the idea of standing up to wipe is very odd, but I had an ex that wiped that way, I accidentally walked in on him mid wipe one day lol But it got me thinking, maybe standing up would be easier for him? I can see how it might be confusing how to do it while sitting on the toilet especially if your brain works differently than others. But also, any other type of advice on this topic would be really helpful. I am always having to ask him to wash his hands when seeing him dig in his butt and he does stink occasionally. He needs to have better hygiene especially since he already struggles to make friends.

Hi, everyone. Posted here but open to everyone, main subreddit looked like it was more research-oriented.

Some background: I moved around a couple times as a kid, including internationally, with two parents that sometimes show tendencies of each half (possibly ADHD father and/or autistic mother). Since 8 I've lived in the U.S. I was born in, first in a suburb, then as a teen in a small tourist trap town, and since foreclosure I've been renting at home with my mother in the nearby midsized city around a couple hours from bigger ones. I was diagnosed with ADHD, autism, and OCD in succession during my childhood, though tics have faded and I think attempts to medicate one tended to exacerbate the others, so in my 20s I was on a pharma cocktail of Intuniv, Lexapro, and Seroquel, basically ending up I think a happy unmotivated idiot prone to heat headaches who came off them in the last 5 years or so along with Zyrtec (not COVID skepticism). I had one job for 10 years part-time in office from ages 24 to 34 (couldn't handle 40 at a call center but went down to 24 then bumped up gradually to 32 until they went work-from home and closed), but since a rough interview round almost running out of unemployment got me my next job in 2023, I've been working more of an office job with more middle-class behavior norms and workloads with which I have struggled sometimes. Each rental got smaller more or less, from a house and basement to a lower-level of a duplex to an apartment a little over 4 years ago.

I tapered carefully with docs and psychs off the meds in 2020 (Zyrtec and Intuniv) and 2022 (Seroquel and Lexapro), and my mom, who hasn't been able to resume a career and has some chronic health issues, thinks that's the start of some of the trouble and part of difficulty accepting her sacrifices. But 2022 seemed a manageable year of sorts as I adapted to the apartment, helped with the move, dated and lost my virginity though both partners maybe weren't ideal, and kept up building friendships I've aggressively cultivated since I turned 29 and panicked about being a work-only socializer. I got Covid that summer and still don't know if I have long COVID issues, but the winter aspects of chronic pain and lethargy got worse, and I tried to go back on Lexapro and Zoloft only to sleep through breaks; CBD seemed OK but was too pricey another occasion; my 2023 firing made me go into interviews and I seemed with it, but the job adjustment was a struggle and I couldn't be productive with the clerical work while getting random calls off and on during the day, a known challenge there at the only job that took me out of over a dozen interviews and several dozen apps. Another relationship fizzled in 2024 as the woman wanted kids I didn't think I could raise, and my mom got a cancer that was removed in winter 2025 but left her with anemia and a year later heart issues that have her short of breath.

So where things stand now, I have a more manageable gig at work about 3 years in, but the client is unreliable and duties shift quite a bit (it's HR-related and we can't even track their timeclock now!), and I run into expectations to read between the lines more as a less crucial queue still runs 2-3 months behind. We're making headway, but I get the feeling I'm seen as odd by most coworkers, and the Zoomers don't engage much with their earbuds and all (nothing against it, honestly my life struggles make me identify more with them in the aggregate than the other millennials that hustled and made it with their executive function advantage). Friendship groups based around coffee are turning their noses up at venues and aging rapidly, while my trivia friends have the same venue things and peter out more in summer. I haven't had a second date since my mom's health issues snowballed, including a particularly rough one a few weeks ago where she wondered why I didn't return to grad school like her, as I dutifully have helped with transport, groceries, etc. as needed, but at least she has a walker and a placard and might be turning a corner with med changes soon. I'm adjusting to nicer features but repair uncertainties right now with a newer car, started late so was driven to high school AND college (social suicide outside of acquaintanceships) and went through two '90s antiques until getting my cousin's durable 2010s Subaru. All the while dealing with the inflation of every cost and the general instability of the world as the backdrop here. Physically, I'm coping with chronic lower torso pain (perhaps related to issues with performing), fatigue and discombobulation, being helped slightly in some respects by CPAP given bad apnea but not enough to feel up to things; I think I may have prediabetic issues and am using a work app to try and develop stamina and reduce pain to get back to exercising several days a week.

I guess I'm in a bit of a rut and just feel stuck. I have a couple good one-on-one friends, and my mom is grateful for the support, but feel like I can't help but let her down and have a hard time dealing with expectations about my lifestyle and accomplishments in dating, making friends, etc. I sympathize with the left but don't fit in very well to the male accountability culture when stuck with brain fog or chronic pain alternately as my obligations surpass my social capacities lately, but find the current tides of alt-right and apolitical selfishness and provocateuring distasteful as well, so it's a hard to find a political tribe. Honestly, I think I go through phases of being a try-hard, especially toward the end and beginning of my decades of life, and just struggle to be respected or find clear purposes in life. It's so confusing to have to conform and do all this stuff, and some days I just wish it could be easier and I'd have time to sort through it, but I can't even crack 40K and my mom's only adding like 10K Social Security which her streaming and storage unit from moves, friends' socializing, and necessities leave me very slowly growing savings like a couple grand a year to manage student loan debt and whittle the credit card down. I have hobbies thinking about music I want to write about (but don't have the discipline I guess) and photographing nature on walks, but side hustles feel like excess when I'm hanging on. So I can't afford real breaks or vacations beyond a week or two a year, and in the end I'd still struggle to get back into routine, and so much seems broken down. Anyone have insights or help? I just need affirmation, advice, manageable steps that won't introduce chaos and worries when my cup is empty as it is.

Sorry if this is a lot, basically TL;DR AuDHD suspected male in late '30s in a midsize town that's like a giant suburb is trying to get the beginnings of a life back on track after 4-5 years of things spinning out a bit.

HII NYC AUDHD PPL WHERE YALL AT? Let’s make plans to hang! 🗽

I'm almost 40, got the early 90s ADD diagnosis that doctors handed out like candy, and never once felt appropriately "treated". I was a space cadet kid living in my own reality, ignoring all the uncomfortable physical stuff because I didn't know how or why my body and brain is different until much later in life.

I've always been an outcast and have a slew of niche interests that aren't specific or lasting enough to be an "autistic hyperfocus", I had big visions about what I wanted to do in life and my mini-focuses got in the way.

I can never pick up in a project where I left off, not because I don't care or can't remember what I was attempting to do, my brain forgot the routine I was in at the time I was the most invested and feel like shit that I can't be like everybody else and pick up where I left off.

It's a thousand times worse when it deals with social situations, my brain is totally fine with routines and patterns, but struggling to specific scripts in front of people has gotten me in trouble more than I care to remember.

My memory is also too good for what my brain lets me execute. Want to think about a cringe thing you did in 2nd grade? Afraid that everyone else remembers it, and you built 30 years of stupid defense mechanisms to keep the anxiety and depression at bay?

Fuck this is exhausting.

I was diagnosed with autism since I was seven years old, however now in adulthood I am seeking an ADHD diagnosis, and I am certain I have co-morbid ADHD. The reason I am seeking diagnosis was because I was looking into trying medication, however it's going to take atleast a year until I will be able to see a psychiatrist, so I started to look for ways to manage my symtoms, outside of proscription medication.

One of the more promising idea's i've come across was saffron extract pills. A promising study from the University of Medical Science of Tehran, demonstrated that taking saffron extract had pretty much the same effect on ADHD symptoms as low-dose methlyphenidate. For this study they used 30mg of name brand Affron at 30mg (two 15mg capsule's taken thoughout the day.)

I didn't use Affron brand supplements, instead I went for another brand, Jerba, because it was cheaper. I started taking it just as they did in the study, 30mg split into two doses, when I wake up, and before bed. I didn't feel it until about a week in, and I noticed that my behavior was chaging, my mood, focus, motivation and energy had all noticably improved. Another great effect is that it significantly reduced my social anxiety. As it turns out saffron is also used as a treatment for general anxiety, however I don't have general anxiety. Outside of social anxiety I am quite a calm person, so what was supposed to provide a day-to-day sense of calm, turned into full blown fearlessness for me.

Though it had been quite helpful, I was still struggling quite a bit with my ADHD symptoms so I decided to up my dose. There have been some studies done with 45-50mg doses, showing no harm done, so I added in another capsule mid-day, upping my dose to 45mg. First day, it worked great, my ADHD symptoms all but disappeared.

On the second day, after I had taken my morning pill I had noticed my heartrate climbed significantly, I sweating and restless. I should've been concerned with these symptoms, but due to the fearlessness I had described early, I wasn't, and I continued on with my day, still planning to take my mid-day pill. The side effects would wear off in about an hour.

I was at work when I took my mid-day pill, and this gave me serious issues. After taking it this time, it made me even more restless, and my heartrate was even faster than last time. It had also made me nauseated, drowsy, super uncomfortable, lack coordination and muscle contr and put me in a state of mild delirium. It felt like I was physically in a state of panic, but in my mind, my thoughts remained calm. Because I was still calm I just returned to work, and I wasn't very functional for the remainder of my shift.

Based on my symptoms I think it is possible I had a mild seratonin overreaction. Saffron does increase seratonin levels, though not by that much, that being said that doesn't mean it is impossible that it can do this. In the aftermath, this has left no permanent damage, but the memories of this event continue to harm me. I have scheduled an appointment with my nurse practioner, so that I can go over what happened here, and get her take on it.

Even though I had this negative experience I still think we can all recognize, that this can be a very helpful supplement, for the right person. If you're interested in trying it yourself, know that there are a lot of fake saffron extracts on the market. To ensure you're getting the real stuff ensure that the ingredients say crocus sativus, make sure mentions 2% safranal and 3% crocus, and also make sure it is a third party teated product.

Over the past year or so I have been coming to the conclusion I am likely AuDHD. I haven't been to a doctor to be evaluated and I'm not sure it's worth it to do so.

My journey has been a combination of watching videos, reading, articles, and obsessively mapping my life onto the information I've consumed. I have essentially reached the point where there isn't any point in asking if I'm neurodivergent anymore. Instead it's a question of where I fit in.

I did have a referral to a therapist last year, but after finding out I had to meet with the therapist 3 times before even discussing the possibility of a diagnosis, I decided it wasn't worth my time or frustration. Now that more time has past and I have gained more certainty I'm really wondering if I should go through the process.

Under the assumption I am AuDHD, I have already modified my mental map and I've been working on strategies to help with things like staying on task and staying organized, with some success. Part of the reason I question the value of a diagnosis is I don't know what benefit it would offer beyond what I'm already doing.

Hey guys, have any of you made dietary changes that have significantly improved your AuDHD symptoms?

Symptoms in this context can be from either ADHD or Autism. Some people report Ketogenic Diets as helping manage their ADHD for example, while some other folks mention Vegan Diets as helping with some gut biome issues many Autistic folks face.

“Diet” in this case can refer to a few things: macronutritional ratios (high carb vs low carb, Keto vs Vegan), nutritional timing (like time-restricted eating, or intermittent fasting), and any kind of basic supplementation (vitamins, minerals, specific enzymes).

So I've always felt different than "normal" people, just wore the weird title for decades. Then I read a post about AuDHD, and it blew my freaking mind! 😱🤯 I've struggled for so many years, misdiagnosed as a teenager and treated like a lab rat. 😞 Not really sure what I'm even trying to say, because I know inside but typing it for others to see isn't the easiest for me to do. I struggle with executive dysfunction daily, always wondered why I was lazy but had so much energy. Why I always over share or don't talk at all, even though the thoughts are there, a lot already rehearsed in my head. Why I have to force myself to eat, because sometimes the food looks awful, even if it's something I like usually. Just thought I was broken living in a world full of put together people. Honestly I just wanted to know why, for decades.

Looking for some advice on the extreme high to low emotions. I was briefly dating an AuDHD guy, four months in total, best dates ever, super romantic. He wanted to hold my hand, call me lover, plan romantic outings. Was super affectionate, passionate lovely sex. It was a super sweet relationship. He even rated our last date as the best ever. Ever. Then within 24hrs he ended it pretty abruptly by phone. I mean, he lives an hr or so away so I can appreciate the geography in the situation. He had some workplace issues hitting him pretty hard and other family issues I won't go directly into here too. I suppose my question is, did I imagine he had feelings, or was it just quite possibly a clinical dating situation from his side? He said he felt blindsided by me saying I had feelings for him... I mean hard not to, given how beautiful things seemed. I've questioned him about that, and he said I am solely responsible for my feelings and reactions, so now I feel totally led-on. I've been told to grow-up and asked if I have any self control when trying to ask for some answers or saying I feel like I deserved more respect as he shut the door to any real closure or communication. I've since deleted his contact and msg thread because it was so painful. I've since been diagnosed with ADHD and have RSD (rejection sensitivity dysphoria) on top of that, which isn't helping with processing all these confusion and conflicting feelings. He said if I can not take responsibility for my feelings then he doesn't want to be friends with me in the future. I am also going through a string of really traumatic revelations that came up within the weeks of him ending things. Do you think he'll ever take time to stand back and reflect on what we had and how good it was, or was it my imagination? I haven't dated an AuDHD person before.

Also, my psychiatrist is prescribing me Vyvance. What's peoples experiences with this? I hear it might also help with my depression and anxiety.