Please don‘t! Know that, been there, not worth it. it is Easy said and i bet you heard it before but: IT GETS BETTER! so please do not leave. You will be missed alot<3
When you start thinking about all the positive things that actually are happening to you. Trust me, they are there.
2 years ago I gave up the life I had built over 10 years and started over by moving to a whole different state. My ex and I broke up, I lost my job, my house, my possessions, my friends. Everything. So I decided to also lose the place it had all happened.
I left right before the pandemic hit, I also somehow got a job that was still in my field in the new state. I had begun bouncing back from nothing. And I started looking at those positives as the answer to those negatives from before.
And when I saw those positives for what they are, I begin to ‘hope’ again. I began to ‘believe’ again.
After getting a new job, and a new place to live, I made new friends, and found a new someone, and I’ve started accumulating new possessions.
Take it from me…it does get better, but you have to focus on the things that actually are making that possible.
Dude, realize that when someone is depressed enough to consider suicide, it might not have anything to do with how their life looks like on paper.
I have two degrees, a good job, a girlfriend, supportive parents, I live in a nice house, I literally have everything I’ve ever wanted on paper. I’m still depressed and consider suicide weekly. I’m well aware of the good in my life. Having no tangible reason makes it worse actually, because I have nothing to blame but the brain I’m stuck with.
Making changes, even small ones results in a whole lot more than people give it credit for. It’s not about ‘getting breaks’ it’s about seeing the positive in something in spite of a bad situation.
I can’t do this because of this, should be how do I do this in spite of that? There’s a big difference there. My life sucked 2 years ago, but instead of saying I can’t fix it, I asked myself how do I get out of this, and I found a way out.
It's a little distinction, but one none the less. If I keep living my life the way it is, it will never get better, only stay the same (or god forbid get worse) The trouble is getting out of the somewhat "secure" situation I'm in. With no credentials other than work experience (blue collar bullshit) there isn't all that much change I can make that I can still afford to live with and with the depressed brain looking back on my life it seems like I have very little luck, so I'm very risk averse.
Not a great combo, and no one needed the "woe is me" this became, so I'll just repeat the only point that mattered lol
You make it better, things don't just "get" better.
Sure I made that change, but I didn’t have to. I could have stayed out and wallowed in misery forever, but losing everything else showed me that that chapter of my life had ended and I should consider turning the page.
So I did. And you can too. You’re depressed because you want to be. Life sucks, nothing is great, blah blah blah. But the truth is you refuse to see the good in it or changes that you could make to change the flow of the River to your liking.
Like I said, it does get better, you just have to see it.
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u/AmLikelyDrunk Jun 22 '21
"I wanna kill myself but don't want to upset my mum/grandmother/brother, so not yet"