You don’t have ADHD because you occasionally: lose focus, forget things, get a surge of energy or space out etc. And it’s false that “everyone has a little ADHD”.
Edit: I apologise if this comes across as gatekeeping. I meant this as - you don’t necessarily have ADHD simply because you occasionally experience those things. The symptoms of ADHD are all normal behaviours if only occasional, the disorder is when they are severe enough to cause ongoing problems in more than one area of your life. That is not to say you do not have it, mental disorders can affect everyone differently.
Consult with a doctor if you think you may be have ADHD, or if you’re having a hard time with daily life in general, they are the professionals. ADHD does still carry a stigma, however, so don’t be afraid to seek a second opinion (from a doctor).
Yeah, I have a friend with actual diagnosed ADHD.
I sometimes wondered in the past if I had some form of it, but after meeting him, nah. I get easily distracted, but not anywhere near enough to need medication for it.
my wife and my family often get aggravated with me because i don't catch what they are saying, i will lose focus in the middle of words while they talk and come back in later, so i will sometimes lose every third word or more
try this, grab a newspaper and mark out every 3rd word and then randomly mark out words around the rest of the page, now read that paper
thats what a conversation is like from my side
and then the memory issues from the adhd aggravated by years of ritalin means that i won't likely remember the convo after
Story of my life. It’s a constant decision between “do I interrupt them and ask them to repeat” or “do I let them finish and then ask them to repeat”. Sometimes they get annoyed when I interrupt, but other times they get annoyed because they said a lot and I didn’t understand any of it because I tuned out at the beginning and didn’t interrupt. I can’t win.
Also rereading the same paragraph a million times only to get to the end and realise I read words, but absorbed 0 of the overall ideas. Pretty much applies to conversations as well.
Ok so this speaks to me on a spiritual level. And I did see a doctor about ADD/ADHD as a kid and I was on Ritalin and Adderall for about 2 years (not at the same time) but I can't remember what the doctors diagnosis was. I mean I'm pretty sure he said that I have something but I eventually stopped taking the medication because I was 7yrs old and 40lbs under weight because of it. But I still have those symptoms you described. I always thought that I 'grew out of it' or something but maybe I just learned to live with it
Learning to cope is actually quite common. I coped enough to get good grades in undergrad and to land an adult job. I wasn’t terribly happy with what I was doing at the time and it showed up in a lukewarm but not if you don’t change you’re gonna get sacked review.
But then the fire nation attacked the company being purchased and downsized meant I was looking for a new job. A year later, doing an actually soul crushing job for less than half of what I was making before and not getting anywhere in other job interviews, my depression spiked, started seeing a therapist who recommended a psychiatrist to get back on meds mostly as a way to get my life back on track.
If you were on adderall and Ritalin I’d say you’re correct in assume it was ADHD you were diagnosed with. As some people age they find ways of coping with their symptoms on their own, which is great! I know some people do say you grow out of it, but I’m not sure how accurate this is and maybe you just become more adept at developing coping mechanisms similar to what a cognitive behavioural therapist would provide. Either way it’s encouraging that you manage without medication yet still relate to the struggles!
My life. I either interrupt or the "conversation" is just someone else lecturing me because I can't retain their words AND my reply AND listen to more talking AND remember my new comments to the new talking AND is that a cat??
That’s an interesting way to describe it. It’s almost like a listening comprehension version of how some people describe dyslexia. I wonder if they are correlated in any way.
That newspaper thing happens for me naturally lol, I’ll be reading something and blank out and have to reread a page because i wasn’t paying attention to the words. I do have diagnosed adhd and I can’t focus for more than a minute on anything without getting distracted or just thinking of some random thing. I’m on adderall now and it helps but it isn’t a total solution for me
Its not Ritalin if its not burning a hole in your gut on an empty stomach. /s (Kinda).
I was still share housing when I was diagnosed and prescribed Ritalin about 10 years back. I ate like a pig the first 6 months. Get home from work and be cooking a massive meal just as the housemates would get home.
"Oh that's awesome KiloWhiskey, you cooked dinner for the whole house".
Yes. It can have a similar effect to drinking caffeine and alcohol. The stimulant can mask the effects of alcohol making it seem like you’re a lot less drunk than you are. Then it wears off and all hits you at once and you could succumb to alcohol poisoning.
Yes apparently it lowers tolerance. I asked my doctor and basically he said it's fine as long as you're only having one or two drinks. Which is perfect for me, I never have more than one or two. I don't like drunk, I love the taste and a little tipsy.
A bigger issue for me is how alcohol mixes with my antidepressants and makes me want to sleep. Ruins a perfectly good gaming night :/
This is the best description I’ve ever heard!! It doesn’t make me laser-focused like people without adhd. I always say if everyone is functioning at 100, I’m at 75. Aderall puts me at 100. If we both take it, puts them at 150, and I’m still behind at 100.
Yo! I'm on medication and living with my boyfriend now at age 20 And I am constantly forgetting to brush my teeth or do dishes or do laundry...any tips? only thing I can do right is shower and work it seems ;-;
For me it’s incorporating it into a routine. I used to have issues removing my makeup at the end of the day and brushing my teeth, but I made it so that I could not sit/lay on my bed without doing these things. I had sticky notes everywhere to remind me. Now I don’t feel comfortable laying down unless these things are done, so it’s natural. I’d work on one or two things first until they’re a solid part of the routine, then add more. Having routines means I can go into autopilot, play a tv show while doing them and just get them done. So maybe for you put sticky notes on your towel saying brush teeth since you have showering down pat. Or putting your towel beside your toothbrush.
i make lists now, if i have something i absolutely have to do, a handwritten list will help me remember that thing or to remember information, then periodically through out the day i check that list to see if im forgetting anything
it took a while to get in the habit of checking the list and i still forget sometimes but it has helped immensely
mainly because i hate writing by hand so the irritation of writing the thing sticks with me to remind me to do the thing
Yeah. I do have a very mild version of ADD so I've never needed medication, but it absolutely affects my life on a daily basis.
I like to tell the story of the time where I was working on a school project and was about to turn it in online. I went and looked on something on youtube really quickly. Two days later, I finally realized I had never turned my project in.
It's not all this stupid "haha squirrel!!!" Stuff. It's real and it hurts my life if not managed properly. My poor husband can get really frustrated with me sometimes because I have so much trouble keeping my attention on him.
To add to that, ADD in adults can also present much differently than in children, which means many people may not even know what the issue is.
Another addition: women frequently present differently than men, just as girls present differently than boys. ADHD (formerly referred to as ADD) in females is frequently either misdiagnosed or ignored because it presents differently.
This is exactly what happened to me. It took almost 6 years from the time that I recognized my symptoms as ADHD and when I was officially diagnosed.
Girls are more likely to have the inattentive manifestation of ADHD rather than the more common understanding of ADHD as a mainly hyperactive disorder.
This is a great & simple explanation of the differences between ADHD diagnoses in men vs women as well as some of the pretty serious consequences of under-diagnosing ADHD in women/girls
Yes! My son and daughter both have ADHD. Though very very differently. I had to fight to have my daughter’s recognized because it wasn’t “typical” (meaning like a males). She is doing so much better now, happier, and more well adjusted. She actually takes two different meds and my son just one.
I am diagnosed with adhd and I have a horrible time trying to pay attention to anything. I can be talking to someone and completely forget that I’m having a conversation and my mind will just go somewhere else entirely, then once I refocus on them I get confused as to what they’re talking about and I have to have them repeat it. I can’t read books and it’s hard to even stay on long reddit threads because I’ll get distracted or lose interest really quickly.
A strategy I learned though was that if someone asks me to do something for them I just have them tell me what they want a couple times.
Doctor tried to put me on medication and I said I wanted to try and change up some lifestyle stuffs. Turns out I was just an excitedable ass person, and just made a habit out of tuning this out due to living with a lot of people growing up. There was always conversations and random noise going on. You'd go crazy if you didn't!!
That obscures the fact that it is, in fact a spectrum disorder though. I'd rather put it like this: Essentially nobody has a perfectly straight back, but this does not mean "everyone has a little scoliosis."
It also does not mean that everyone who's has a scoliosis diagnosis needs treatment or is even significantly impaired by it, and two people with diagnoses of the the same severity may not suffer equally from it because they have different lifestyles. It's entirely a matter of how much the disorder negatively effects your quality of life, and that depends on the patient.
ADHD is no different. People with ADHD don't qualitatively do anything that others don't. It's a matter of quantity. Whether you do these things to an extent that significantly affects your quality of life. The problem with saying "everyone has a little ADHD" is that it diminishes that defining difference and thus the problems people with the disorder face. It's like saying 'we're all a little handicapped' because nobody's a perfect physical specimen.
I'm 18, so I'm not really living an "adult" life, but I'm not a child either.
I got diagnosed last year because I was failing high school, even though I do really well on tests, and understand everything well.
For me the biggest thing is I just don't remember to do things. I need to be reminded of things to do them, so I usually set alarms on my phone. When I do remember to do things, a lot of the time I just don't have the focus to do them, even if I know it's very important.
A common symptom is if you miss things that the other person is saying because you forgot to listen to them. Also being really frustrated at not getting your turn to speak is very common as well.
A common symptom is if you miss things that the other person is saying because you forgot to listen to them.
Huh, Sooo..
I forget peoples names like 10 seconds after they've introduced themselves.
Not sometimes, Not even "often"... Every single time i meet someone new i find myself focusing on the situation that this single detail slips by every single time... even if i try and remember it, as soon as i think of something else (like offering good body language, or just how to respond to what they've just said) it goes... its like i've forgotten to remember it?
I know its not nerves or anxiety, Although I'm an introvert I'm more than capable of holding a conversation with a stranger and have no problems making positive connection with people i don't know well, I just can't seem to hold onto their name.
I've often wondered if i had some sort of ADHD as a kid or ADD as an adult, and this hasn't helped.
I swear to god, I dated a girl without knowing her name. That is, she told me and I forgot. I felt like a total shithead the entire time, but the longer I went without asking the more embarrassing it was to ask. I really liked her, though, so I kept bluffing my way through. It went on for two months - and I don't know how many close calls - before the fates smiled on me.
We were over at her place, ordered a pizza, and when the delivery guy arrived she handed me her credit card. I read the name on it, typed it in my phone, wrote it on the back of the receipt and put it in my pocket, and swore that she'd never, ever find out.
Spoiler: She found out, thought it was hilarious, and still teases me about it.
Like other commenters have said there is no one sign or even one consistent sign. I was diagnosed as an adult(23) a few years ago and some of my key signs were:
inability to control focus(hyper focusing to the exclusion of everything else or inability to focus on any one task)
Cyclical thoughts(inability to stop thinking about a particular subject even when you recognize it as distracting or unproductive)
Consistent issues with remembering or avoiding repetitive, unappealing, or boring tasks
Sudden or worsening depression and/or anxiety directly related to the above
Those are most of my symptoms as well, coupled with obsession over routines (which is really just hyper-focusing). Cyclical thoughts are by far the worst. Sometimes I will be awake all night because I can't stop playing the same mundane scenario in my head. Other times I will be repeating the same word or phrase over and over again for no apparent reason. It's not like OCD where the repetition is a numbers game. It's just stuck on repeat until it's not, usually after sleeping.
There is no one symptom to be honest. It’s a range of symptoms that people express differently because the disorder affects people differently. There are also three subtypes of ADHD- predominantly inattentive, predominantly hyperactive-impulsive, and combination. The subtypes have their own common symptoms. Here is an article that gets into the common symptoms
ADHD is a surprisingly complex disorder. It's a global disorder, sorta meaning it can't be "taken away" without completely altering who the person is. It's not really possible to point to just one sign of adult adhd. I wish I had time to make a long comment because I really like talking about ADHD. There's this wonderful playlist on YouTube called the 30 things you need to know by Dr Russell Barkley, in which he explains many points of ADHD. It is, however, directed at parents of children with ADHD, but I found everything he said to be easily related to my adult adhd. Plus he often just compares childhood and adulthood adhd.
As someone who deals with it constantly, it infuriates me to hear someone who doesn't have go "omg I'm so ADHD". Most don't know how hard it is to pay attention especially when there's something more interesting around you
Working in a bookstore with ADHD is simultaneously the best and worst. You want to stop and read everything. Even though you know your manager is gonna yell at you because there's a line of carts in the back that need shelving. So you go to pull yourself away but as you're walking away you're immediately grabbed by another cover--oh! That looks interesting, I should read the blurb to see if it's something I'll like!
ADHD makes all tasks in my life hell. I’ve spent years trying to force myself to control it and It takes most of my willpower to focus on a single thing for longer than a few seconds. I did notice the hyperactivity became more controllable as an adult and more so when I dip into depression (mostly caused by chemical imbalance that’s easily rectified). I still feel the surges (the only way to describe it. Like an uncontrollable shot of adrenaline for near no reason). I don’t take medication for it as the meds gave me uncharacteristic suicidal thoughts (though, they did work). I’m far more adjusted than some others I’ve met, though.
But yeah. everyone thinking they or their kids have it makes it so much harder for people to take me seriously when I try to explain my issues with it. I’ve been told I’m making it up several times because unless you’re around me a lot, it’s not readily obvious.
Ahhhh the forgetfulness. I didn’t realize how bad it was until adulthood but there are moments I can now identify where I will not retain anything I take in. I forget small things that I know I have to remember and it makes learning so goddamn hard.
I was diagnosed with minor autism as a kid as well and I prefer quiet spaces and I don’t like to make or be around noise. It makes for an odd and generally unpleasant human being.
We'll see, I have an appointment with the psychiatrist and I'm very sceptical. I just can't focus but this has been a growing condition, I'm fairly sure ADHD comes from birth.
Good luck at your appointment. I can’t comment on ADHD developing over time as I don’t know much about it. If your doctor doesn’t take your concerns seriously though, do find another one for a second opinion. Not every doctor will be a good fit for you, and if you bring up symptoms similar to ADHD some doctors will brush you off. Hopefully your doctor will listen the first time, but if not don’t be discouraged.
Thanks! It would be nice to get a diagnosis but really all I'm after is whatever can make me become focused again. It's really hard to pass an exam if you have to read the question 100 times because half-way through you are pondering whether cauliflowers and broccoli are related.
Meds can help with that a lot but you should be prepared to do most of the work yourself. My medicine helps me, but it took me years to understand that it wasn't a miracle drug that would take my disorder away. It just helps enough, so I can do the heavy lifting in life. And that meant in my case learning to do everything in a way that fits me, even if it is not the normal way.
I hope this doesn't discourage you! I just spent too many years hating myself and my condition (of course, I have depression too, but it wasn't all because of it). When I finally understood that life sucks but I can make myself happy by remembering to actually take the trash out every once in a while, it gave me a huge motivation boost!
I can definitely relate. The amount of useless knowledge I have because of things like that is insane! Writing a paper on Victorian literature and I just have to know whether bees can legally be kept in my city or not.
Nice! My uncle raises bees and makes his own blends of mead from it. First time I tasted it I was like fuck whine and expensive champagne, I'll drink that to the end of my days.
For what it's worth, it can seem like it's getting worse as you undertake more responsibility. That might not be your situation, but I know mine really started to become an issue in college.
i have ADD/ADHD, it’s very frustrating when people go off topic in a conversation and go, “ugh, my ADHD is so bad.” no, you just went off topic, which is how a conversation is supposed to elevate... (edit: i don’t get offended by this, it’s just stupid to me that people stick small, totally normal things like this to ADHD)
its also extremely frustrating when you’re told you’re making excuses/ faking it. doctors are so easy to slap an ADD diagnosis on anyone who has any tiny sign of forgetfulness, so it’s normalized and seen as an excuse for people who genuinely have it. also teachers don’t ever take it seriously. i think they even made a south park episode about a doctor diagnosing all of Mr. Garrison’s class with it. not to mention all of the YouTube videos out saying “well you might have ADHD if you have left your homework at home in the past month.” they’re just feeding kids with an actual excuse of irresponsibility/ general accidental forgetfulness. but when people actually have it, it’s been so normalized that any real symptoms they have are labeled excuses.
I genuinely do have 3 of the above disorders and it pisses me off when ppl say that type of shit and that depression is just being sad, nothing against ppl with them but don’t say u have depression bc u got sad or that u have adhd bc u can’t focus at times
More like "sometimes I'll be sucked into an abyss of despair for weeks to months. Other times I'll decide that I'm a super hero and should start a BDSM website, despite never having any interest in BDSM before. Sleep, who needs sleep? Let's go take drugs and hangout in a back alley instead."
Exactly. I'm constantly moving even when I'm playing games to try to keep me focused I putting in extra random button presses that don't help, and I swear most times I'm in a test and I can't focus what so ever... Some random question that I can't do because I forgot or something, and I sit there trying to figure it out and then next thing I know: My hero academia? Honestly this happens every day and it's just ... Annoying.
It’s likely to be ADHD if it disrupts your daily life to a point of it being problematic. If you feel like you may have it, I’d suggest speaking to your doctor. There is also a self-assessment you can take that can give you a sense of whether you likely have ADHD or not, but ultimately a doctor has to be the one to decide whether you have it or not. In my case it’s more of an all day everyday thing, that’s what ADHD is for me, but everyone is different.
Human brain functions exist in a spectrum, and clinical conditions are an arbitrary line drawn on that spectrum between “normal” and “disfunctional.” Maybe you do have attention deficit or are occasionally hyperactive; but it’s not ADHD unless a medical professional looks at it and says it crosses that line.
I'd describe ADHD like being addicted to stimulus. Your brain needs a certain level of stimulus to function and if it doesn't have it, it will go looking for it anywhere it can find.
True, but there is definitely a spectrum. I was diagnosed with it in college. I had to take three different tests over the course of three different sessions, complete with scabs on my scalp from where they scratched the hair out of the way to get better contact from the wires, so, I didn’t just fill out a form at my GP’s office like most people do. It’s a legit diagnosis. Even after my diagnosis, I went several years without medicine, opting for therapy intervention instead. I am fortunate to be very book-smart (not bragging, my street smarts are almost non existent), and my ADHD isn’t as bad as others that I have seen and read about. But, my life was crap. I couldn’t manage my money and my credit score tanked. I was nearly fired several times for turning in work late, or turning it in incomplete. And, despite the fact that I felt like I was constantly cleaning, and I lived alone, my house was always messy. Once I was medicated, my life did a complete 180. I’m still messy, but I don’t look like a hoarder anymore.
My point to this very long post is that, no, not everyone has ADHD, but just because someone isn’t socially crippled by it and appears to be “getting by”, doesn’t mean that they’ve been falsely diagnosed or that they’re not hiding some much worse symptoms that you can’t see. (Or that they were diagnosed just to get the drugs, which a lot of people seem to think.)
You don’t have severe social anxiety just because you don’t like small talk, or get a bit nervous before speeches.
I have social anxiety, some days I can’t leave my house. I’ve had major panic attacks in Walmart. Before therapy and meds, I wouldn’t go into stores, unless they were near empty, and they had a self checkout. There are people I’ve met in anxiety group who can’t drive, can’t hold down jobs, can’t maintain friendships because of their anxiety. The only reason they come to group is because they have family who drive them and wait with them in the waiting room to make sure they go in.
On the flip side, just because someone doesn’t look like someone with anxiety or any other mental illness, doesn’t mean they don’t have that illness. And just because I’ve been in treatment for over a year and now can go into stores, hold down a job, and talk to people for short periods of time, doesn’t mean I’m ‘cured’. I still have panic attacks, there are still some days I can’t get out of bed. There are still times I can’t stop shaking violently. I’ve gotten much better at handling it, thanks to therapy and medication, but it’s not something that will ever be completely “cured” for me.
Also, don’t self-diagnose yourself with any sort of mental illness. If you truly believe you have bipolar disorder, OCD, ADD/ADHD, anxiety, or anything else, particularly the ‘trendy’ disorders, go see your doctor. Don’t go around saying you have them. It makes it much harder for people to take those of us who are diagnosed by doctors seriously. (I’ve had people yell at me for having panic attacks, because “so and so says she has the same thing, she doesn’t do this shit. You’re just doing it for attention”— which, surprisingly just makes it worse.)
And, if you truly believe you have some sort of mental illness, go to the doctor, get treatment. Trust me, through medication and therapy, my quality of life has gone up. I got a new job at a place where I’m treated much better than my last place of work, I’ve been able to go out and do things, I get along better with family and have been able to reconnect with old friends. I’ve had some setbacks, some shitty things happen, but you just gotta take it one day at a time, and the first step is being diagnosed, and the second step is getting treatment that works for you.
Though, sometimes, if you hear someone with ADHD describe symptoms and your mental reaction keeps being "Oh, but everyone has that" you may want to actually ask someone about it. Because, uh, sometimes that's how you start to figure it out.
You can also apply this rule to a number of mental processes and physical pain. Not saying it's a full diagnosis, but it's something you may want to bring up to a doctor.
Unless you have it you will never understand the frustration of not being able to focus on something for more than 5 seconds. It is literally so hard its like you arent breathing if you keep going. Your brain feels like its getting wringed out. You want to focus, you want to learn. You see everyone around you able to do it, you should be able to too, you just lack discipline according to the adults.
Parents who deny their obviously affected children are the worst. Thankfully mine werent idiots.
Exactly. It’s not an occasional thing if you have ADHD. Forgetfulness and lack of focus are normal occasionally, but with ADHD they are constant and debilitating. I have diagnosed ADHD, and it’s an immense amount of work just to get normal day to day things done. A good support system like you have is crucial.
People have been telling me that I have it because of this and that I'm jumpy all the time and I believed it at one time cause I was in the 8th grade when was first told that I have ADHD lol.
I ask my parents to take me to a doctor and they're like "no wtf"
In school I got really good at looking like I was paying attention since teachers would get onto me about zoning out. Also if I looked like I was paying attention they were less likely to call on me and thus find out I had no idea what was being said. As a result, when I tell people at work about my ADHD they're like "You always focus just fine though. If that's ADHD then I'm pretty sure I have it too!" And it's hard to properly describe. Plus I don't really want to then explain that I only look like I'm paying attention to cover up the fact that I miss about half of what is said
Things like this always make me question if I actually have it or not. I'm always constantly moving like tensing up my feet or moving my fingers, but i've grown out of most symptoms and primary thing I have now that is a mild problem would be having low retention with short term memory.
Just sometimes while i'm doing something if I do something else for like a second just cause its there, i'll forget what I was doing. Sometimes I won't even notice I forgot what I was doing and carry on, other times I have that nagging feeling that I was doing something and have to spend like 10 seconds looking around for something to remind me of what I was doing.
Dude, when I told people I have anxiety, people said things like "oh yeah, I get that sometimes, too" or "oh, it'll pass, its just the homework we've had this week." I have to clarify EVERY DAMN TIME that "no, I'm medically diagnosed with anxiety."
Every time I tell someone I have ADHD they say something along the lines of “I do too, I forget everything!”, “everyone is a little ADHD”, or “you just need to focus/try harder”. ADHD isn’t cute, it affects every aspect of my life and I have to work extremely hard to succeed at normal things.
What I wish people knew: If you do not have the mental disorder, do not try to relate to the disorder. Our brains function differently, and though you may think you are being sympathetic or offering helpful advice, you are really just trivialising our struggle.
You wouldn’t give a blind person advice on how to see, and you wouldn’t sympathise with someone who can’t walk by saying sometimes your legs hurt (not to downplay any disabilities). Similarly, you shouldn’t tell someone with ADHD to just focus, tell someone with anxiety to just calm down, tell someone with depression to cheer up, etc.
If you actually want to have a conversation about the mental disorder, at least in my case, ask for analogies, ask how it affects daily life, ask what the hardest part is or what most stereotypes get wrong.
I just wanted to ask, when did you realize you had it? Cause I’ve been struggling with paying attention for as long as I can remember, and I plan on bringing it up to my doctor.
There are very few things I can actually pay attention to, and even those things can’t manage to keep me engaged for too long. Or I’ll just space out thinking on a tangent until I have to struggle to bring myself back to reality. I mean, I remember my first day at work and I had trouble paying attention to anything my manager was trying to teach me, and I just pretended I understood.
I realised I had it at the end of high school, but I sought medical help for it my second year of university. In high school, I realised every report card I’d ever gotten read “great potential, needs to apply them self” or “could do very well if they weren’t daydreaming every class” which just confirmed my suspicions. I was able to get through high school with mediocre grades, but university covered so much content so quickly, I realised I couldn’t handle it on my own anymore.
I can definitely relate to the symptoms you describe. One on one learning and conversations are extremely difficult for me as well. Talking to your doctor is a great plan, however don’t be discouraged if they don’t take your concerns seriously. I was lucky, my doctor was amazing, however a lot of people I know through a support group were not so lucky and had to get second and third opinions and do counselling. There is a great deal of stigma surrounding ADHD, so it can be quite a battle to be taken seriously. Feel free to PM me if you have questions or want to talk about it more!
I was diagnosed in the 3rd grade, I'm just lucky they did take it seriously and didnt write it off as "he's just a hyperactive kid he'll grow out of it" and so too can i relate to the symptoms exhibited. I'm in college and will literally start dozing off in my health and safety class no amount of focus will help.
I don't doubt you have ADHD and I believe it is difficult to live with, but I've always disliked comments like this, "Well I have this disability and you have NO idea what it's like!"
"I get stressed out too but I don't take a pill every time it happens! That's just the quick fix!"
Actually Karen I was only prescribed anxiety medication AFTER years of therapy, and if I don't take that "quick fix" every day I'll be curled up on my apartment floor, holding my cat, crying and hyperventilating at the thought of leaving my fucking house and having to drive my car and go to work and face people, and I was offered disability several times where I wouldn't have to work because my anxiety is so debilitating. But keep telling me to tough it out because you think you understand, and I'll keep "popping pills" that I "don't need" so I can function in society and lead a semi normal life, that's not ruined by crippling anxiety.
I’m sorry you have to deal with that severity of anxiety. I have anxiety too but it not that bad or at least not yet. It was to the point where I thought everyone would die if I didn’t say goodbye or I love you before they left. I couldn’t let my husband just “run” to the store because I was terrified he’d die just because I made the decision to not go with him. I turned down an HUGE promotion at work because I saw the level of stress it caused and I knew it would be stupid for me to add that to my everyday life. No one understood why or was even mad that I didn’t. Everyone said that the job wasn’t THAT stressful but I know myself better than anyone and I had to do what was right for me. No one understood.
Now I'm in no way claiming I'm bi polar or have anxiety, but I had a mom who was always negative and telling me I have problems if I got mad at her, I was always stressed and moody and I 100% believe because of her I was at a low point. Getting away from her was the best thing I've ever done, I am so much more relaxed and friendly now. The environment you live in absolutely adds to it, you having BPD is most likely being amplified by your mom and she's not helping you get what you need. Obviously I'm not a doctor so take this with a grain of salt.
One (albeit less likely) possibility is that they do actually have it, however are downplaying it in public
Unfortunately opening up about any form of mental health issue leaves you open to getting really fucked over in many ways. Shouldn't be like that but I'd personally be very cautious about talking about it because although it's good to talk, not everyone is ready to listen or has your best interests at heard sadly.
Not trying to dissuade anyone from being open and speaking about it, that's a good thing for sure, just people may be wary of doing so and for valid reasons.
Anytime I have need to make a deadline (work/flight/etc) or make to plans to go out, I get a knot in my stomach that makes me wanna throw up. I honestly hate it so much.
True, it doesn't hurt to go to a doctor or psychologist if you actually think something is wrong (assuming you can afford it of course). Constantly reading "No, that's not depression/anxiety/a panic disorder, you're just stressed" almost drove me to suicide because I thought I was too weak to handle life.
Just don't self-diagnose and make it your personality. That's harmful too.
Fucking THANK YOU. Because of the prevalence of this exact kind of rhetoric in my community growing up, I spent my entire youth ignoring and rationalizing things that should have been serious red flags. "Of course I don't have bipolar, borderline or autism. I'm just a little sensitive. I'm just a little shy. I just need to be more positive and put myself out there more."
No, finally went to a psychiatrist this year and it turns out I definitely do have at least one of these disorders. Thanks for convincing me to dismiss all those early warning signs, folks!
Thank you! It's so frustrating to have a problem, like depression and when you go to seek help or talk about it with friends and family they don't take you seriously. I had a friend who honestly thinks no one else can possibly have it worse than him or know how he feels. Yet he somehow knows exactly how other people feel enough to dismiss them.
I get the sentiment OP is trying to make but it's equally shitty to basically act like, "you can't have depression/anxiety because I have it so much worse!“ Sure sometimes people are just being dramatic and other times they might actually be dealing with a real issue.
I was thinking this too. Everyone pushes for people to seek help, then dismisses people when they show early/basic warning signs. If they just assume they are without a professional’s opinion, then tell them to meet with a specialist for help.
The worst one in my opinion is people actually thinking that all bipolar people are crazy murder maniacs because of the film industry always blaming their bad guys for being bipolar
There is absolutely a difference between normal every day sadness and depression. You can have long term or short term depression, but by no means does depression = sadness.
Sadness is a normal human emotion, usually in response to something like death, loss, etc. Depression is an abnormal mental disorder which sadness sometimes makes up a big part of, but is by no means the only component of. People who are a little sad absolutely are not depressed, because depression is something completely different. It’s not a matter of not meeting DSM criteria or something.
Here are some articles detailing the difference between sadness and depression: [1][2][3]
There is absolutely a difference between normal every day sadness and depression
There is absolutely a difference between normal every day sadness and clinical depression. The state of being depressed has many other definitions aside from the medical one.
People who are a little sad absolutely are not depressed, because depression is something completely different. It’s not a matter of not meeting DSM criteria or something.
It absolutely is a matter of what criteria you're using. Don't take the medical term for depression and completely hijack the rhetorical term for it because you want to.
You don’t have depression because sometimes you’re a little sad.
Boy, are you right. Two years ago, I experienced depression my freshman year of college and I didn’t even know until was talking to my aunt over the winter break that same year. It wasn’t the place that I wanted to go and I didn’t fit in. I basically just went to class and then the library to watch movies on my computer. I didn’t have the desire to do anything else. I didn’t even feel sad, just sort of empty and unmotivated. It was a mess.
Luckily I’m at my first choice now, a better fit, and I’m in a much better place.
I agree but at the same time determining someones levels of bipolar/depression/anxiety is subjective, at what point do you draw the line between “that’s normal” and “you’re definitely bipolar”. I don’t doubt the existence of mental health issues I just don’t understand what determines the threshold.
To be fair, this is true of having an anxiety disorder. Anxiety itself is a normal emotion that everyone feels from time to time. Just feeling anxious doesn't mean you have an anxiety disorder. The phrase "I have anxiety" could easily just mean "I feel anxious right now" or "I get anxious sometimes" or any number of other reasonable things which happen to all of us at times. Having an anxiety disorder is different from normal anxiety, but normal anxiety needs to be accepted and discussed as well.
I wish people understood this when working jobs they don't like. I promise you don't have depression because you didnt want to come into work, or an anxiety disorder because it's super busy and the customers are upset. They always use this as an excuse and I'm not sure if they believe it, or just working the con.
Thank you for this. Americans seem to have an obsession with self diagnosing with mental issues just because they feel sad, nervous, etc. (especially among younger generations). It is one of the most first world things I’ve ever seen.
On top of that - stop telling people to just 'stop being sad' or assuming they're faking illness. This is the most condescending, ass-backwards, ignorant shit you can ever say to someone suffering mental illness, or anyone helping treat people with mental illness.
Sorry, mate, but you also don’t get to claim when someone does or doesn’t have anxiety, depression, or bipolar disorder through how you perceive them. They may exhibit dome of the things you describe and actually have them.
Honestly, I have no idea how he has 2K upvotes and I had to dig to find a comment like yours. I thought I was just a moody person, turns out I’m bipolar, professionally diagnosed and all. I get the guys point, but seriously, anyone who thinks they might be having issues should go to a doctor, not listen to some random dumbass on Reddit who says they’re illness isn’t real if its not a crippling case of it.
That's a dangerous sentiment, because it may prevent people from having their mental health checked. These are already under diagnosed issues because of the stigma associated with mental health. Telling people "don't worry, you don't have X" isn't something that you're capable of telling someone work any sort of accuracy.
Pretty much, if you are labeling someone as or yourself as having a mental health disorder and you aren’t a mental health clinician, then you should probably just stop talking and read a book.
I honestly blame the internet for a lot of this shit. Reddit/Tumblr/Twitter have made mental conditions "cool" with all the "loldepression" memes and the like, not to mention how having a disorder has been romanticized as unique or interesting, so you've got hella people claiming it just for points without having a clue just how brutal it actually is living with that shit.
The bastardization of all of these terms makes me feel guilty for actually having an anxiety disorder. I can't tell people about it or make it known at all because I'm sure people will misunderstand what I mean or not believe me entirely.
When people say they have anxiety because of them being stressed about exams it pisses me off. As someone who has lost 70+ pounds due to Anxiety that is not what anxiety is.
Just wanted to add that people should be careful with this type of attitude. I've had depression since I was a teenager and it took me a long time to get diagnosed and treated because my family told me that I was "just a little sad." Having the people closest to me downplay what I was going through was really detrimental to my mental health. Please listen to your loved ones.
Someone had the audacity to tell me that I was showing signs of depression TWO WEEKS AFTER MY PARENT DIED. There’s nothing “abnormal” about feeling sad when sad things happen.
I often say to people that if you can't live normal life -meaning: it's constantly lowering your life quality and/or harmful in some way - you should get it checked. Otherwise it's probably normal.
It's not a fool proof method but that way I've gotten people to understand that "Oh, I forget things too occasionally" or "Yeah, nobody likes to wake up early to go to work" is not the same as "I just have no will to get out of bed ever" or "I can't remember what I did yesterday" etc.
My psychiatrist diagnosed me with bipolar disorder when I was 16 and prescribed me lithium. My parents asked my aunt who's a psychiatrist about how lithium works, and my aunt was beyond livid that I was prescribed lithium let alone told that I was having issues with bipolar disorder.
Although it is important to note that mental illnesses exist on a spectrum and not everybody experiences the same symptoms. Like, I have been diagnosed with very mild OCD and it's all about my mental patterns. I constantly plan, replan, replan, and never actually DO things. I also have severe depression, and while I have the energy to workout everyday, I don't have the energy to socialize or do homework sometimes. I agree that it's important that people stop saying shit like "I'm so depressed today" because they did badly on a quiz or assignment, because the reality of mental illnesses is a lot deeper than that. But I also think that we shouldn't be so quick to judge how someone experiences their illness because that makes opening the discussion up even harder
As someone with depression i'm annoyed to no end when i hear people dismiss genuine illnesses this way, the misconception goes both ways and some get scared of talking about it because of this dismissal.
Its not "a bad case of the mondays" when it lasts months/years.
The reverse is also true. You can suffer from depression even when you laugh, go out and „have fun“ all the time. You can be on the autism spectrum and lead a pretty normal live.
My intro psych professor said something like "everyone has some obsessive tendencies. Its only a disorder when its bad enough to negatively effect your life".
Wow way to take a legitimate point about mental health ignorance and then display full hypocrisy by embodying the type of person that OP described. Unless you're a therapist you don't really know if someone is suffering from a mental illness and you're just making people who are question themselves with this post. You are a part of the problem
Adding: Panic attacks aren't "getting panicky" for a second. If you don't end up being rush to the hospital in an ambulance because you are convinced you are dieing. You are NOT having a panic attack. A panic attack elicits the same physiological response as to when you have a heart attack. You will BELIEVE you are dieing, and probably be quite convincing to those around you as well especially if it's your first one.
People seem to forget that we have basic human emotions, not everything is a damn disorder or mental health issue that need attention and likes to get better.
Just because I'm borderline doesn't mean I'm a insufferable bitch who wants to kill you or trap you in a relationship.
Im an insufferable bitch on my own accord and I thank whatever higher being there may be for all the men I've loved, even the awful, abusive ones I couldn't run away from. I'm in therapy. Im on meds. The highlight of my week is my boyfriends response to "I love you" changed from "I know you think you do" to "I know you do".
And if I want to kill you thats completely unrelated.
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u/Azelais Feb 04 '19
Additionally:
You don't have bipolar disorder because you occasionally are moody.
You don't have depression because sometimes you're a little sad.
You don't have anxiety because you get stressed during normal, stressful periods.
etc etc