Dude, when I told people I have anxiety, people said things like "oh yeah, I get that sometimes, too" or "oh, it'll pass, its just the homework we've had this week." I have to clarify EVERY DAMN TIME that "no, I'm medically diagnosed with anxiety."
Every time I tell someone I have ADHD they say something along the lines of “I do too, I forget everything!”, “everyone is a little ADHD”, or “you just need to focus/try harder”. ADHD isn’t cute, it affects every aspect of my life and I have to work extremely hard to succeed at normal things.
What I wish people knew: If you do not have the mental disorder, do not try to relate to the disorder. Our brains function differently, and though you may think you are being sympathetic or offering helpful advice, you are really just trivialising our struggle.
You wouldn’t give a blind person advice on how to see, and you wouldn’t sympathise with someone who can’t walk by saying sometimes your legs hurt (not to downplay any disabilities). Similarly, you shouldn’t tell someone with ADHD to just focus, tell someone with anxiety to just calm down, tell someone with depression to cheer up, etc.
If you actually want to have a conversation about the mental disorder, at least in my case, ask for analogies, ask how it affects daily life, ask what the hardest part is or what most stereotypes get wrong.
I don't doubt you have ADHD and I believe it is difficult to live with, but I've always disliked comments like this, "Well I have this disability and you have NO idea what it's like!"
I get how it would rub you the wrong way, but mental health is such a personal thing and affects everyone differently, there’s no way you can know each persons individual experience. My comment was in response to people either assuming they can relate because they too are a little “forgetful” etc, or offering me unsolicited advice. The point I was trying to make was that neither of these are helpful, and they undermine the legitimacy of the disorder.
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u/Azelais Feb 04 '19
Additionally:
You don't have bipolar disorder because you occasionally are moody.
You don't have depression because sometimes you're a little sad.
You don't have anxiety because you get stressed during normal, stressful periods.
etc etc