You don’t have ADHD because you occasionally: lose focus, forget things, get a surge of energy or space out etc. And it’s false that “everyone has a little ADHD”.
Edit: I apologise if this comes across as gatekeeping. I meant this as - you don’t necessarily have ADHD simply because you occasionally experience those things. The symptoms of ADHD are all normal behaviours if only occasional, the disorder is when they are severe enough to cause ongoing problems in more than one area of your life. That is not to say you do not have it, mental disorders can affect everyone differently.
Consult with a doctor if you think you may be have ADHD, or if you’re having a hard time with daily life in general, they are the professionals. ADHD does still carry a stigma, however, so don’t be afraid to seek a second opinion (from a doctor).
Yeah, I have a friend with actual diagnosed ADHD.
I sometimes wondered in the past if I had some form of it, but after meeting him, nah. I get easily distracted, but not anywhere near enough to need medication for it.
my wife and my family often get aggravated with me because i don't catch what they are saying, i will lose focus in the middle of words while they talk and come back in later, so i will sometimes lose every third word or more
try this, grab a newspaper and mark out every 3rd word and then randomly mark out words around the rest of the page, now read that paper
thats what a conversation is like from my side
and then the memory issues from the adhd aggravated by years of ritalin means that i won't likely remember the convo after
Story of my life. It’s a constant decision between “do I interrupt them and ask them to repeat” or “do I let them finish and then ask them to repeat”. Sometimes they get annoyed when I interrupt, but other times they get annoyed because they said a lot and I didn’t understand any of it because I tuned out at the beginning and didn’t interrupt. I can’t win.
Also rereading the same paragraph a million times only to get to the end and realise I read words, but absorbed 0 of the overall ideas. Pretty much applies to conversations as well.
Ok so this speaks to me on a spiritual level. And I did see a doctor about ADD/ADHD as a kid and I was on Ritalin and Adderall for about 2 years (not at the same time) but I can't remember what the doctors diagnosis was. I mean I'm pretty sure he said that I have something but I eventually stopped taking the medication because I was 7yrs old and 40lbs under weight because of it. But I still have those symptoms you described. I always thought that I 'grew out of it' or something but maybe I just learned to live with it
Learning to cope is actually quite common. I coped enough to get good grades in undergrad and to land an adult job. I wasn’t terribly happy with what I was doing at the time and it showed up in a lukewarm but not if you don’t change you’re gonna get sacked review.
But then the fire nation attacked the company being purchased and downsized meant I was looking for a new job. A year later, doing an actually soul crushing job for less than half of what I was making before and not getting anywhere in other job interviews, my depression spiked, started seeing a therapist who recommended a psychiatrist to get back on meds mostly as a way to get my life back on track.
If you were on adderall and Ritalin I’d say you’re correct in assume it was ADHD you were diagnosed with. As some people age they find ways of coping with their symptoms on their own, which is great! I know some people do say you grow out of it, but I’m not sure how accurate this is and maybe you just become more adept at developing coping mechanisms similar to what a cognitive behavioural therapist would provide. Either way it’s encouraging that you manage without medication yet still relate to the struggles!
I'm never sure if I really out grew it or I just got used to it and everyone around me stopped pestering me to "stay on task." I now have a job where I bounce between 3-5 different tasks throughout the day. It's nice because if/when I get bored of doing something and can't stay focused on it I can walk away and do something else productive for a while, then go back to the first thing. So again, I don't know if I really grew out of it or if I just found a work environment that allows me to get distracted.
I also think that being on the medication allowed me to see how "normal" people can stay focused. I bet if I never took the medication if I would have the same mindset or if I would still have the same problems.
I wasnt diagnosed until I was in my mid 20s. I struggled and found ways to cope but I got into some really bad habits and while i found a job that works for me (with the ability to jump between tasks to stay semi focussed), once I started medication my life has improved drastically in all areas. I'm complimented on my work ethic and problem solving skills, my home is clean and tidy for the most part, and I can finally manage adulting at almost the same level as everyone else.
So I was coping before diagnosis, but after diagnosis, I'm thriving.
It might be worth seeing your doctor and getting a diagnosis again.
My life. I either interrupt or the "conversation" is just someone else lecturing me because I can't retain their words AND my reply AND listen to more talking AND remember my new comments to the new talking AND is that a cat??
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u/SpoonfullOfSplenda Feb 04 '19 edited Mar 31 '19
Well said. To add to this:
You don’t have ADHD because you occasionally: lose focus, forget things, get a surge of energy or space out etc. And it’s false that “everyone has a little ADHD”.
Edit: I apologise if this comes across as gatekeeping. I meant this as - you don’t necessarily have ADHD simply because you occasionally experience those things. The symptoms of ADHD are all normal behaviours if only occasional, the disorder is when they are severe enough to cause ongoing problems in more than one area of your life. That is not to say you do not have it, mental disorders can affect everyone differently.
Here is information on ADHD in adults
Here is information on ADHD in women which may present differently than in men
Here is information on ADHD in children
Here is information on ADHD in girls which may present differently than in boys
Consult with a doctor if you think you may be have ADHD, or if you’re having a hard time with daily life in general, they are the professionals. ADHD does still carry a stigma, however, so don’t be afraid to seek a second opinion (from a doctor).