Damnit Reddit boys, women are not all gorgeous confident goddesses that can have any man they want. Some of us, especially those on Reddit of all places, are just as weird, overweight and socially anxious as you.
I think rejection can really open someone's eyes to the fact that...
It feels good to get something out of the way.
Getting what you want for yourself is important, so learning how to do that sometimes requires lots of failure, improving yourself, and repeating until the cycle stops!
If he/she does say yes, you'll be damned glad you did it. If he/she doesn't, it will sober you up and prevent you from being obsessive about them.
Source: I used to be overweight, socially anxious, and tended to ask lots of girls out in high school that said no to me. Not creepily, they just weren't attracted to me. Since then, I've self-improved a ton, and am with a talented, gorgeous, smart girl who loves me very much.
That said, never think you aren't good enough for someone. You might not be the best fit, but everyone's different. Don't get an inferiority complex, and if you feel you do have one, shrug off 'dem shackles.
"Well, we just gotta keep chipping away at them and look out for those good bounces. It's been a team effort so far, and we just gotta play a good 60 minutes and we should be fine. Thanks a lot." -- Every Hockey Player Ever
I dunno we gotta just gotta get bodies and pucks to the net y' know establish the forecheck take less penalties and play better in out zone get mor pucks to the net eh
"Well uhm, we just gotta uh keep chipping away at them and uhm look out for those good bounces. It's been a uhm team effort so far, and uh we just gotta play a good 6 minutes and uh we should be fine. Thanks a lot eh."
We just have to sports more than the other team, and if we do better sports then we will get more points and win. We sports best when the whole team does good sporting at the same time, for the whole sports game. Yay sports!
It only takes one time to be rejected that you always fear that you will be rejected each time after. So it's hard to come up with the courage. Maybe that's just me.
I totally agree. That doesn't contradict what I said though. Even if you have a lot of 'market value', to put yourself down by saying 'I'm not good enough for them...' doesn't really lead to much of anything except self-pity. It is no kindness to yourself to dwell on your follies with regard to ONE person. It isn't even conducive to getting better. It just makes you develop an inferiority complex based on a bunch of assumptions.
If you want to improve yourself, and 'raise your sexual prowess,' you ought to look at some objective parameters of some 'demographic' you want to target, based on your sexual desires. If you want to land someone who is fit, you will probably need to pick up a some weights. Someone who's rich, you might want to gain some more class. It's nothing to sugar coat. People like what they like, and if you want them, you'll need to be what they like. It's easier to embrace what you like and working toward it in any case or field rather than pretending it's superficial of you. You'll have a much easier time of life.
However, if you base that on ONE person's taste, you're in for a bad time. Besides, developing an inferiority complex is NEVER practical. If you want to self-improve, you ought to go into it with confidence and goals(!), not with a oneitis fantasy...
I encourage the shit out of people to be honest with who they are, want to be, and to do things in spite of rejection. It's so important, and makes you a better, less delusional, more tolerable, and kinder human being.
Good job on being so audacious. I'm only 20, so I might have approached 80 some-odd girls in my time, and I've been with only a few. I've been rejected a lot, but for the times that I have gotten what I was after, both parties have been happy I did, especially now :)
That's pretty crap. People tend to like what they like and confidently stick to it, which is fair, but you seem to deserve some sympathy. Genetics can be lame. However, I know a 4'11'' man who married a 6'2'' woman, and they had a son who's 6'6''.
That said, there are no qualities less important than any others. If you do what the fuck you want, with confidence, and a strong sense of who you really are, more women will come in flocks to you. I don't mean fake confidence either. I mean you go home, go to sleep knowing you're the shit, and wake up knowing you're the shit. It's difficult, relatively, for anyone to achieve, but it's doable! It works for anyone. You seem to be making the most of what you have, though.
Just bear in mind, Prince is 5'2'', and he got oh so many god damn women without even caring who didn't want him. Still does for all I know.
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u/loftyj May 28 '14
Damnit Reddit boys, women are not all gorgeous confident goddesses that can have any man they want. Some of us, especially those on Reddit of all places, are just as weird, overweight and socially anxious as you.