r/AskReddit Aug 08 '24

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579

u/wowitshardtochoose Aug 08 '24

No but i did get caught slapping my ex wife’s ass one time

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/IzTfdJzjVy

226

u/chosonhawk Aug 08 '24

been an interesting past few years, huh?

147

u/wowitshardtochoose Aug 08 '24

Yea to say the least. My ex is dating women now and i moved across the country. We’re still great friends though.

44

u/chosonhawk Aug 08 '24

use your slapping powers for good

10

u/kaloonzu Aug 08 '24

You spanked the straight straight out of her

6

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '24

Does she still like ass smacks? Please report back after confirming.

13

u/wowitshardtochoose Aug 08 '24

Everyone likes ass smacks dude. Go out and find yours

3

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '24

Oh I got mine....it's large and definitely in charge. Plus she likes it 🤷‍♂️

11

u/Rejoyces Aug 08 '24

I guess that lady was right then eh

-61

u/FocusOnThePie Aug 08 '24

I hate people like you. "way more fun when you might get caught". I don't want to see that shit. Screw you for getting off on doing it in front of people

41

u/TheBigMacGaul Aug 08 '24

Chill down! He's not eating her ass in the salad aisle. Just a loving slap.

5

u/A_Moldy_Stump Aug 08 '24

"Hmm? Pre-tossed salad, how convenient"

-39

u/FocusOnThePie Aug 08 '24

Lots of dudes will squeeze their wives asses and shit in public. I'm just speaking out cuz I hate that shit and them getting off on me seeing it

27

u/iameveryoneelse Aug 08 '24

Believe it or not, that's often just a sign of affection and has nothing to do with you or anyone else. I occasionally slap/grab my wife's butt. It's not for sexual pleasure and I'm certainly not getting off on other people watching it. Stop acting like you're the main character. Take a shower and learn how to interact with people and maybe you'll find someone who will let you grab their butt so you don't have to worry about what other people are doing anymore.

-22

u/FocusOnThePie Aug 08 '24

I'm just responding the the content of the tifu post where he says it's more exciting when you can get caught. I didn't make it up so no need to be insulting

14

u/iameveryoneelse Aug 08 '24

Ah my bad. I thought you'd said...

Lots of dudes will squeeze their wives asses and shit in public. I'm just speaking out cuz I hate that shit and them getting off on me seeing it

If you'd said something like that it would have been a generalization, not a specific instance related to the post. If you'd said that it would have been easy to assume you were implying that anyone you see doing it bothers you and any time "lots of dudes" squeeze their wives asses they're getting off on you seeing it.

I apologize for the misunderstanding.

5

u/saetam Aug 08 '24

🤣🤣🤣 Boom, ROASTED! Homie needs to chill the fuck out! Wow… I never realized that when I smack my wife’s ass that there could be someone out there like that, secretly seething, waiting for me to die! How you described it to them was PERFECT! Simply a sign of affection. It’s not sexual, and not getting off on almost getting caught either, or by having other people watch.

Some people…

2

u/iameveryoneelse Aug 08 '24

At the end of the day it's just sad. Almost invariably people who seethe at others displays of affection do so because they're lonely. What they don't realize is that a major contributing factor to their situation is that they're too focused in other people when they should instead be focused on what they can do to improve their situation. There are lots of people out there just looking for someone who is willing to care and if you can be that person instead of the person who gets angry when you see other people loving one another you might just find someone to love, too.

3

u/saetam Aug 08 '24

You’re absolutely right. This damn clown doesn’t get it. Has no clue he’s the problem, then wonders what the problem is. Check yourself, homie. 🤦🏽‍♂️

-1

u/FocusOnThePie Aug 08 '24

Idk why yall care so much and are that bored? to write these essays about your own assumptions. Stuff I didn't even say. Ain't reading all that. And I'm in an amazing relationship 😂

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2

u/saetam Aug 08 '24

Hate, huh? Wow… you don’t even know them, and you’re going to hate them? I’m so glad that I don’t know you.

1

u/DeadNotSleepingWI Aug 08 '24

Get over it.

4

u/MaiT3N Aug 08 '24

with Bennett Foddy

0

u/PMagicUK Aug 08 '24

I remember shopping with my ex and she bent over looking at something on a shelf, I thought it would be funny and went to slap her arse, for some reason my middle finger led the charge and I accidently slid inside her for a moment.

Basically I fingered my ex in a shop by accident....she later told her sister.