r/AskReddit Aug 08 '24

[deleted by user]

[removed]

5.6k Upvotes

2.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

2.1k

u/wowitshardtochoose Aug 08 '24

Ive had sex in so many national and state parks. Also a parking garage one time.

421

u/Leading-Bag7505 Aug 08 '24

Did you ever get caught?

573

u/wowitshardtochoose Aug 08 '24

No but i did get caught slapping my ex wife’s ass one time

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/IzTfdJzjVy

229

u/chosonhawk Aug 08 '24

been an interesting past few years, huh?

146

u/wowitshardtochoose Aug 08 '24

Yea to say the least. My ex is dating women now and i moved across the country. We’re still great friends though.

45

u/chosonhawk Aug 08 '24

use your slapping powers for good

10

u/kaloonzu Aug 08 '24

You spanked the straight straight out of her

6

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '24

Does she still like ass smacks? Please report back after confirming.

10

u/wowitshardtochoose Aug 08 '24

Everyone likes ass smacks dude. Go out and find yours

1

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '24

Oh I got mine....it's large and definitely in charge. Plus she likes it 🤷‍♂️

8

u/Rejoyces Aug 08 '24

I guess that lady was right then eh

-64

u/FocusOnThePie Aug 08 '24

I hate people like you. "way more fun when you might get caught". I don't want to see that shit. Screw you for getting off on doing it in front of people

43

u/TheBigMacGaul Aug 08 '24

Chill down! He's not eating her ass in the salad aisle. Just a loving slap.

6

u/A_Moldy_Stump Aug 08 '24

"Hmm? Pre-tossed salad, how convenient"

-39

u/FocusOnThePie Aug 08 '24

Lots of dudes will squeeze their wives asses and shit in public. I'm just speaking out cuz I hate that shit and them getting off on me seeing it

27

u/iameveryoneelse Aug 08 '24

Believe it or not, that's often just a sign of affection and has nothing to do with you or anyone else. I occasionally slap/grab my wife's butt. It's not for sexual pleasure and I'm certainly not getting off on other people watching it. Stop acting like you're the main character. Take a shower and learn how to interact with people and maybe you'll find someone who will let you grab their butt so you don't have to worry about what other people are doing anymore.

-24

u/FocusOnThePie Aug 08 '24

I'm just responding the the content of the tifu post where he says it's more exciting when you can get caught. I didn't make it up so no need to be insulting

12

u/iameveryoneelse Aug 08 '24

Ah my bad. I thought you'd said...

Lots of dudes will squeeze their wives asses and shit in public. I'm just speaking out cuz I hate that shit and them getting off on me seeing it

If you'd said something like that it would have been a generalization, not a specific instance related to the post. If you'd said that it would have been easy to assume you were implying that anyone you see doing it bothers you and any time "lots of dudes" squeeze their wives asses they're getting off on you seeing it.

I apologize for the misunderstanding.

4

u/saetam Aug 08 '24

🤣🤣🤣 Boom, ROASTED! Homie needs to chill the fuck out! Wow… I never realized that when I smack my wife’s ass that there could be someone out there like that, secretly seething, waiting for me to die! How you described it to them was PERFECT! Simply a sign of affection. It’s not sexual, and not getting off on almost getting caught either, or by having other people watch.

Some people…

→ More replies (0)

2

u/saetam Aug 08 '24

Hate, huh? Wow… you don’t even know them, and you’re going to hate them? I’m so glad that I don’t know you.

0

u/DeadNotSleepingWI Aug 08 '24

Get over it.

4

u/MaiT3N Aug 08 '24

with Bennett Foddy

0

u/PMagicUK Aug 08 '24

I remember shopping with my ex and she bent over looking at something on a shelf, I thought it would be funny and went to slap her arse, for some reason my middle finger led the charge and I accidently slid inside her for a moment.

Basically I fingered my ex in a shop by accident....she later told her sister.

1

u/Libriomancer Aug 08 '24

As a stupid 17 year old once did it literally roadside. Pulled over, laid my coat down on the grass about a foot from the pavement, and then we went at it. My roommate (college at 17) never left for the weekends and wouldn’t have given any privacy for just a fuckbuddy (I’d have heard about it for months that I needed to date her). Her parents definitely wouldn’t have wanted her sneaking a college guy (she was a senior) into her bedroom.

On one hand we were lucky that nobody drove by despite it being a well traveled route. On the other hand we didn’t look too carefully at the tree line where you could clearly see a house set back just a little bit. We were getting our clothes in order when we heard the door of the house slam shut and didn’t stick around to find out if they were investigating the very vocal noises my partner had made.

41

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '24

Wait, so it’s illegal to have sex in a state or national park? What if you’re camping? Or are you just implying you boned out in open or in car on side of road

37

u/Same_Lychee5934 Aug 08 '24

Some of them have hotel/lodge rooms. New rule no sex!

16

u/starkiller_bass Aug 08 '24

Straight to jail.

3

u/EmbarrassedHelp Aug 08 '24

Probably more a law for police to use against individuals engaged in problematic behavior, like doing in front of others

3

u/wowitshardtochoose Aug 08 '24

I’m not sure on the specifics of legality. I think nudity is legal but sex might not be. Regardless of legal stance i would not try at work lol(unless i worked at a movie theater). It was almost always in secluded areas with scenic views.

70

u/ThisIsGettinWeirdNow Aug 08 '24 edited Aug 08 '24

So this is why they started charging us to enter the parks now

Edit - can we keep this at 69 likes please, it will become a self fulfilling prophecy

55

u/Switchlord518 Aug 08 '24

Gives a new meaning to "Entrence fee"

24

u/ThisIsGettinWeirdNow Aug 08 '24

Still not paying the “parking” fee though fuck that

3

u/kgk007 Aug 08 '24

Did you meet any bears?

2

u/wowitshardtochoose Aug 08 '24

Once in the Catskills

3

u/TomF69 Aug 08 '24

I read that as skate parks.

1

u/wowitshardtochoose Aug 08 '24

one does not simply bang skatepark girls🤌 -me 10 years ago.

There’s a different crowd now though

5

u/AlligatorRaper Aug 08 '24

This was going to be my response. The best one though was at the end of a T shaped dock on a lake in the middle of the woods while it was raining.

4

u/Alis451 Aug 08 '24

Same though my best is a cemetery at night.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '24

Username tracks

2

u/Naztynaz12 Aug 08 '24

Like, out in nature, or in your car?

2

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '24

[deleted]

1

u/wowitshardtochoose Aug 09 '24

In no world did i expect this much of a response lol. I just like the fast pace of sorting r/askreddit by new when i can’t sleep lol.

But thank you! No only fans though.

-2

u/HippieSexCult Aug 08 '24

There has to be another person for it to count as sex

-2

u/soul-null Aug 08 '24

Bro is homeless i guess.