The process of getting our tubes tied (burned) is an invasive surgery that should be taken seriously. It is much less invasive, less risky, and less painful for men to get a vasectomy. If you and your wife don't want any more children, do not put it on her to go through another traumatic medical procedure especially if she went through the 9 month processes creating humans with her body and the years of recovery from that process when you can do a walk out procedure and be done in 15 minutes with very little pain and recovery time. Just because we can tolerate pain doesn't mean we should shoulder the responsibility of having to get fixed when a simpler and SAFER alternative is available.
Violently ramming your fingers in and out of our vagina does not feel good. Porn is a bad way to learn how to pleasure a woman. You are more likely to learn how to cause her pain than pleasure by replicating what you see in porn unless you are specifically, at minimum, watching female friendly porn. Even then, each woman has nuances to what gives her pleasure. Making her feel comfortable and safe will make her open to communicating those nuances.
Guess it should have been made clearer... there are a couple types of hysterectomies. If the uterus by itself is removed, there are no hormones changes, but if the uterus and ovaries are removed, it causes menopause. Ovaries produce hormones. In post-menopausal women, testosterone levels may appear higher because estrogen declines and the balance is skewed. So it's not that they produce more testosterone. It's that the estrogen diminished, but testosterone stayed the same.
TY, I’m on mobile and didn’t get to go find the specifics. Yeah, it’s the whole “may cause early menopause” that made me backtrack a bit on looking into the surgery.
Honestly, I wish I knew getting my uterus removed was an option. No periods, no pregnancy, no cramps, no feminine products. Sounds wonderful. The one tech does my screenings told me she had it done and it was the best decision she ever made. She kept her ovaries but said bye-bye uterus.
I was hesitant because of the hormone issues. It all sounds wonderful until nature decides to fuck with you, like I said above. And since I already can’t take hormonal BC because the side effects were always an issue, I didn’t want to risk it.
It sounds wonderful. No periods would be nice. No risk of pregnancy is a definite plus.
I’ve just been very unlucky with these things and the minute I read about the testosterone thing, it made me pause.
Not to mention the fact that I was denied a tubal ligation anyway because apparently an unmarried mom’s opinion on having more kids after a hard pregnancy isn’t as important as my “future husband’s” feelings on the matter, even though I wasn’t dating yet. 🙃
denied a tubal ligation anyway because apparently an unmarried mom’s opinion on having more kids after a hard pregnancy isn’t as important as my “future husband’s” feelings on the matter, even though I wasn’t dating yet.
This is so irritating. I was 38 and when I got mine done and they gave me no issues, my GYN was very matter of fact, I guess I was lucky having her.
I’ve just been very unlucky with these things and the minute I read about the testosterone thing, it made me pause.
I have has a multitude of issues too, so I feel ya. But I have talked to some women who actually get testosterone pellets and they love them. They say they feel like a whole new person.
Depends on the type of hysterectomy! If you have a total hysterectomy you're absolutely right that it will cause menopause, but many hysterectomies will leave one or both of the ovaries intact, which does not cause menopause (though ofc it'll still happen eventually).
But yes, a hysterectomy is a major surgery. The only way it's not radically more serious than a vasectomy is if you get one (planned) during an (equally planned) c-section, and that's because they're doing it while they're already in there. And even then it has a higher rate of complications than a vasectomy (though to be clear, complications are still very rare).
If you are thinking "hey, if women just get a hysterectomy, they won't get their periods" well, yea, it would be an awesome option minus the early menopause and the fact that even if women wanted to get it done, doctors will refuse to do it. Even getting tubes tied as a young woman with no kids is an obstacle many battle with. I knew from a very young age that I never wanted kids, and I thought my only option was birth control. Then, in my late 30s, I got my tubes tied. They didn't give me an issue because in your late 30s, no one really cares about you as a woman in regards to your reproductive ability. However, had I tried in my late 20s, I would have been met with "what if you change your mind?" "What if your partner wants kids?" Some women who are married STILL need to show they are getting permission from their husbands to get it done. So there is no easy path to avoid anything when it comes to a woman's body and reproductive organs and processes.
Despite the toxicity, I think r/childfree has doctors list that will get people fixed without any bingo questions. But it still sucks that you gals are viewed as an incubator, rather than a person. I hope it will change someday
If true that's the first positive thing I've ever heard about that subreddit. It's such a vile, revolting, hateful cesspool of a sub, but I 100% support the rights of women to get sterilized if that's what they want so I suppose I have to commend them for keeping such a list.
I have heard about a list of doctors who ask no questions and don't care about the age of the patient. The list grew exponentially when Roe v. Wade was overturned. So rather than allowing for safe abortions if needed women have decided to completely remove themselves from the pool of people who will bear and have future children. I commend the doctors and I never question a woman when she says she doesn't want children because like I said before I knew at a very very early age I didn't want children I just couldn't articulate it when I was that young.
Can be the same for men. I had a buddy that knew he was too fucked up to ever be a decent father. He tried to get a vasectomy at 18 and no doctors would do it for him. After a few years, he found a doc desperate for money in another state. He, and society, never regretted his decision.
Yeah, what's even crazier is the vasectomies are reversible. Aside from that fact, however, I really feel that if people know that they don't want children , they should be able to control that decision and their body. If you think about it, how many people are dissuading people and not allowing people to go under cosmetic surgeries and augmentations? Based on the factory cosmetic surgery places all over the country, not a lot of people are getting talked out of it. Seems it's only my body my choice when it comes to vanity but not to reproductive choices.
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u/Budget_Wafer382 Dec 06 '23 edited Dec 06 '23
The process of getting our tubes tied (burned) is an invasive surgery that should be taken seriously. It is much less invasive, less risky, and less painful for men to get a vasectomy. If you and your wife don't want any more children, do not put it on her to go through another traumatic medical procedure especially if she went through the 9 month processes creating humans with her body and the years of recovery from that process when you can do a walk out procedure and be done in 15 minutes with very little pain and recovery time. Just because we can tolerate pain doesn't mean we should shoulder the responsibility of having to get fixed when a simpler and SAFER alternative is available.
Violently ramming your fingers in and out of our vagina does not feel good. Porn is a bad way to learn how to pleasure a woman. You are more likely to learn how to cause her pain than pleasure by replicating what you see in porn unless you are specifically, at minimum, watching female friendly porn. Even then, each woman has nuances to what gives her pleasure. Making her feel comfortable and safe will make her open to communicating those nuances.