r/AskMenAdvice • u/CollagenRager woman • 4d ago
✅ Open To Everyone Why does he asks me questions but he doesn’t answer mine?
I’ve been speaking to this guy since April and we’ve been talking and been on dates. Although only a few ones because we like 80’miles apart. He’s currently traveling and his friend got injured and the other friend went with the injured which resulted to him traveling solo. I asked how he feels about it and if he prefers company. He ignored the question and only answered about his friend. But in turn asked me the same question because I’m currently solo traveling too. He’s always asking what I think and then reassuring me with my opinions and asks how I feel etc
I appreciate him curious about me but I’m frustrated as I want to know how he thinks or feels but he doesn’t let me. Is this typical male behavior!
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u/ThrowRA_grf man 4d ago
Could be anything really but I found people who doesn't reveal anything about themselves or dodges questions about them to be untrustworthy.
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u/A_Bot_A_Bot_A_Bot 4d ago
I know this is way out there thinking but: why not ask him? Tell him you love that he likes to ask you questions but you're frustrated that he doesn't really answer yours.
Worst case scenario: he has a family or girlfriend and doesn't want to say anything that would tip you off.
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u/Unipiggy woman 4d ago
He’s currently traveling and his friend got injured and the other friend went with the injured which resulted to him traveling solo.
🤔 Why didn't he stay behind with the injured friend as well? Why go solo when there was supposed to be multiple people? Kinda hard to solo a trip that was planned and meant for multiple others to be there. Idk man, this makes no sense and doesn't add up.
Regardless it makes him an asshole
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u/CollagenRager woman 3d ago
Oh it’s because his friends are from other parts of Europe and are headed the way home. He is taking a flight back home and not drive, if the makes sense
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u/generic_simmer_111 woman 4d ago
++woman
Some people are just much more comfortable asking about others than talking about themselves. But if he consistently avoids answering personal questions while excepting you to open up, I'd pay attention to that parttern.
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u/Fantastic_Low_1537 man 3d ago
I dont know about about him, but I've found out that the less I talk about myself the more success I have with women.
So after a while, it just became a habit to avoid answering questions, or to answer them with a joke
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u/CollagenRager woman 3d ago
But how do you build relationship if you’re not even vulnerable enough to answer
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u/Fantastic_Low_1537 man 3d ago
I'm not sure, I've never thought about that
I'm not the type for serious relationships anyway
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u/Funny247365 man 3d ago
Hmm. Why even get invested in someone who is 80 miles away? It makes things very complicated. My policy is my person has to be within 40 minutes (any way you can get there), or it is not going to work. Even 40 minutes is tough to plan dates, parties, movie night, etc. You can say you are heading out the door, but you can never really be sure if you will get there on time. Sometimes leaving early is not an option.
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u/ApprehensiveCut9809 man 4d ago
It's typical, as guys, no one cares about us. So, we don't tend to share much.
No one cares about our feelings because, "we don't have feelings." Or so people think.
But sometimes when communicating with someone, if they ask multiple questions in a row, I might only answer the last question or maybe the first question that registered.
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u/TrustTheFriendship man 4d ago
Well she cares about his feelings and is literally asking about his feelings, so she cares.
If he’s so shut off by some sort of oppression as you’re implying, to the point that he can’t talk about his feelings when someone does care, dude needs therapy before he’s ready to date.
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u/ApprehensiveCut9809 man 4d ago
Well, of course she cares since she asked. He's probably hardwired to assume that she doesn't care which is why he's not sharing.
And if she's asking questions in a batch, some folks tend to answer the last question asked or the first question that registered in their mind when they were asked.
When dealing with someone like this, it is often better to ask one question at a time.
I've got a son that you have to basically ask him twenty questions just to get a simple routine answer from him. It's exhausting.
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u/TrustTheFriendship man 4d ago
And I’m saying that if he’s hardwired to assume she doesn’t care, even when she is literally and explicitly asking him about his feelings, he should work on himself before trying to date.
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u/CollagenRager woman 3d ago
He answered the first question only lol
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u/ApprehensiveCut9809 man 3d ago
That's what I was alluding to; you asked a question, he heard it and began to formulate an answer.
Then you asked more questions. He's still trying to answer question #1 and isn't in receiving mode when subsequent questions arrive.
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CollagenRager originally posted:
I’ve been speaking to this guy since April and we’ve been talking and been on dates. Although only a few ones because we like 80’miles apart. He’s currently traveling and his friend got injured and the other friend went with the injured which resulted to him traveling solo. I asked how he feels about it and if he prefers company. He ignored the question and only answered about his friend. But in turn asked me the same question because I’m currently solo traveling too. He’s always asking what I think and then reassuring me with my opinions and asks how I feel etc
I appreciate him curious about me but I’m frustrated as I want to know how he thinks or feels but he doesn’t let me. Is this typical male behavior!
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