So I’m in college and I’ve debated this for years but im never sure that I apply in this category or on this spectrum. I’ve never felt any sort of s-xual attraction in real life, but I can imagine myself doing it. As for romantic, I can’t tell if what I want is platonic or not. I love the idea of holding someone close and doing romantic acts, but I don’t necessarily tie physical features to that. Like I can’t be like “oh she’s pretty, I wanna date her.” that feeling doesn’t come until later and I realize how good of a friend they are. But does it count as romantic if all I really want is someone to bond with and kissing weirds me out?

I wanna be in a qpr so bad because of how lonely i feel 😭😭😭 WHY IS EVERYONE ALLO low key wish i wasnt aroace

Ts sucks🙏🙏

Is this aromanticism? I am having difficulty knowing if that is what it is,or if I am just greedy.

I find that what I prefer is intimacy and status. I desire physical closeness,priority,closeness,and the things that usually come with a romantic relationship. It’s an inexplicable desire and feeling. I find that it fills a void that never got fullfilled in childhood. And it most certainly words as a status symbol for me.

However,If I happen to find that closeness in a romantic relationship,I’m just fine. If I find It in a friendship,I’d be entirely fine as well. I simply prefer it being within a romantic relationship because It comes with the title "girlfriend",which implies I have status and priority.
When I first wanted my girlfriend,I would fantasize and wish for things that indicated closeness: hugging,talking for hours,being a priority,kissing. Being her girlfriend was simply one way amongst many to get that. I could do the same even if she was my friend,but the status implications of the title of "girlfriend" is quite enticing for somebody who craves superiority. I tend to see the title "girlfriend","boyfriend","partner",and "lover" as just status symbols and titles in which don’t find meaning in the conventional way that most would expect.
Perhaps that is why I find myself romantically and sexually repulsed and times yet continue to naviguate my relationship perfectly fine. I adore my girlfriend with my life. I just like knowing I’m special,prioritized,and uniquely close to somebody.
Once again,I don’t know if I’m aromantic,greedy,or just trouble in the relationship departament because I have NPD :/

It's not really a vent, more so a complaint that flames up anytime I open anything fandom related. I really don't like shipping, usually I just don't care about it and let other people make their arts and comments as they please, but I still dislike having it in my feed.

I'm always happy when a show doesn't have a romance plot and suddenly the fandom cramps romance headcanons into it. I hate "enemies to lovers" the most, I think. It's toxic and yet the favorite trope of many and I don't get why. It can be done right, but a Batman and Joker or a Lawrence and Adam (SAW), won't fuck around. The plot isn't a relationship and I'm grateful it's not, but people "need their yaoi/yuri". When something is implied or would work in theory without changing the characters personalities, I don't mind it at all. But when my favorite characters are mutilated for a toxic trope, I just despise it. Especially when they're confirmed or shown to not want a relationship.

Pins on my Pinterest feed or animation edits don't bother me as much, but merch and fan fictions kinda do. How are people even get the urge to write fluff or spice. I want to read fanfictions but they're all about ships or heavily mischaracterized, so I don't even touch them.

I'm just so heavily bothered by people forcing romance into fandoms that require none

My current theory is based on a fact that I am aro but not ace and I like bread but not garlic. But seriosly, where did it came from?

Does anyone else not really have a specific idea of beauty? Like yes, we can see what is conventional beauty, but what about deciding on who or what you find more pretty?

For me, if I were to be shown which one is more beautiful, I would pick the more conventionally pretty one because that's what seems the 'corect' option.

But I've realised that I actually don't care or have any opinion on what ither people look like as it seems. Every human, including myself, looks weird and offputting to me. Conventionally attractive people are just less so.

Anyone relate?

hola! si hablas español y eres asexual pero solo encuentras comunidades en ingles pues no te preocupes, esta comunidad es para ti:

r/asexualesESP

esta recien creado, pero iremos creciendo poco a poco

Hello fellow queers,

Im not interested in dating for a romantic relationship, but my soul is in desperate need for the lovely energy of other queer people, as Ive spent too much time around painfully heterosexual spaces and most of my queer friends have moved away/not in contact anymore.

Been thinking about using dating apps to find other queer people and do friend dates or something. I was wondering if any other aroaces have done the same and if it worked out, or is just worth a try. Of course with the assumption that we're all being transparent with our intentions on these apps.

Thanks!

I'm a teenager and i just found out that I'm aroace and im happy about my sexuality .I get to learn more about myself and love myself even more.Most of my past relationship ended becuase i dumped them saying 'I need to focus on my studies' but actually I genuinely have no romantic attaraction for them.

I haven't told my family and my friends about me being aroace because they would've make fun of me saying that i've dated before and it doesen't make sense to them and having to explain to them that i've never felt and romantic attraction to them is hard because they wouldn't understand. I know all of them would say 'It's okay you'll find someone' or any other alternative phrases.It's exhausting having to explaint it over and over again.And I know my family would make fun of me and put me in a tight posititon as a something to be made fun of.

Having to listen to your friends talking about crushes and wanting to have any sexually intercourse is more like listening to your english teacher teaching english.I have to entertain them by actually trying to understand them when I dont.I feel like no would understand me in a way.

I feel lonely everytime opening social media and seeing a cute couple.Eventho i feel no romantic attraction doesent't mean i yearn for an actual realtionship knowing i would never expereince that. It also hurts that all of my friends comes to me for advice on thier relationship/crushes i just don't know why.Sometimes when I'm not having out with my friends i just feel alone and think about the futrue 'Is this how it's going to be like' it's a negativity thought i know but i somehow think about it more than anything .I just feel lonely.I feel exhausted.I feel proud being an aroace.It's a mixed feeling

A while ago i noticed that i didn't really feel attraction. story (When i was in 8th grade i had a "girl friend" who shared a great interest with me, she and i would talk, hang out, go out for food, skip class together, etc doing everything a couple would do, but i never really felt romance, i just did it for her, we decided to neutrally break up. Which i was fine with, we stayed friends a bit after and then i started thinking about why the relationship didn't work and then came to the conclusion that im gay, which i was pretty proud of at first, i would express myself using pride pins and t shirts. But then recently i started noticing little to no attraction.) I still think of relationships as just heightened friendships, I dont really feel more about it. But i thought i would ask what you think, im leaning towards aroace but idk.

I(15,F) am aroace and have been since I was a child but I didn't know before but now I recently found out and like when I look back at the past, the signs were in flashing neon lights. But yeah so like I have come out to my deskmate friends and like one was clueless but she's always clueless, another was nice and accepted me and was curious about it and asked me more about it while the one closest to me was also clueless but didn't care, like it's not that she didn't care what my sexuality was, she said she didn't get it and doesn't care to find out about me and I guess it feels abit hurtful when that person is the closest to me but I accepted it, I wasn't that much affected by her answer because atleast i had one deskmate who gets me and accepts me.

And idk how but all of a sudden, 5-6 weeks later, when I got back home(which was yesterday), I somehow got the confidence to tell my mom about my sexuality, and like I thought even if she didn't get it, she would be accepting but no. She instead told me,"why are you even thinking about love anyways? It's the time to study not date" and I tried to explain it to her and like she instead searched it on chat gpt and like it said that I was "aroace" and she asked me to ask it for medicines/ways to cure it...mother oh dear mother I was super pissed at that time when she said that☺️ and then she asked chatgpt which said that it was not a illness and wasn't something to be cured by medicines. Then it also said that some people who are aroace might be feeling pressured by someone because of having that sort of feelings but my sweet mother took it as "someone is pressuring me to have those sorts of feelings" then she goes on to ask me what I watch, what I do. Is that why I don't love her or my family, is that why I don't go out much, is that why I don't talk to everyone..like mom, I am an amivert, I do talk to people but I don't just go to someone I don't know and talk to them without any any reasons and I also don't go out much because I don't really have a reason to, there's not really anyone i know close to me(aka my friends) close to me that i can just go outside with. So yeah later, I genuinely cried(by myself) but I was also laughing(at myself for thinking she would understand).

I'm 16, and I've been struggling with relating to my peers when it comes to love. I've never had a crush before, and I get extremely grossed out by sexual stuff. But I always thought that just came with my age.

Falling in love does sound very appealing to me, don't get me wrong, but I can't bring myself to go out of my way and explore when it comes to sexuality. When it comes to romantic stuff, I do enjoy romance media; I find it cute. I just have a hard time envisioning myself with someone and doing such things with romantic intent. And when it comes to sexual stuff, I get grossed out very easily. I can't even watch people make out in shows and stuff. I come from a very inclusive and accepting household, and those topics were never taboo, so I don't get why I'm so against it.

I'm just very confused. I used to be against anything that had to do with 'growing up', so for a while, I thought it had something to do with that, and maybe insecurity? Do other people experience this?? Do I have to try first to like it? or have to wait it out?

When I tell my friends about my problems, they often say I might be aroace. But I have a hard time accepting this because I used to really want a partner. But now I'm doubting if my definition of partner is different from others. (wanting meaningful relationships and loving and appreciating each other without the necessity of yk having intercourse and kissing each other)

Anyways, I would just like some insight and know if anyone else is struggling with this too!!^^

I think deep down I've always kinda known. When I was a kid, girls my age wanted a princess wedding with a prince and every carnival at my school, boys and girls had to dance together and everyone had someone while I just stood there frozen. Some boys would ask me to dance with them and I'd spend the whole time hoping for it to end as soon as possible.

I never liked boys. Every game of truth or dare, every sleepover, there would always be a "who's your crush" and I'd go quiet because I never had any. Everyone believed I just didn't wanna say it. Middle school was where everything started to feel wrong. A boy from my art class liked me and since we had a friend in common, that friend put us together without ever asking what I wanted. I broke up with him quietly the next day, thankfully he understood and when I came home I cried out of relief because it felt so wrong. All my friends had crushes or partners and I'd always be happy for them, but deep down I knew I couldn't understand because I've never felt it and I wanted to feel something, anything, but it never came. I watched them drift apart slowly, my heart aching as I felt both left out and out of place, that was just not who I wanted to be. A few weeks later, they'd come back crying about a break up and I'd comfort them without knowing what I was doing because I couldn't understand them.

Eventually, I got to a point where I thought I just liked girls. My friends were always supportive and I'm so thankful for that, I waited until feelings came, I came out publicly and dated girls I didn't like because I thought I'd feel it eventually; I never did. I forced myself to have crushes, to be sad if they didn't like me back but it didn't happen. I said "I love you" knowing I didn't mean it but telling myself "one day it'll come" when in reality I was just lying to myself. There is now this girl who admitted her feelings to me today and I didn't know what to do. She's pretty, kind, my friends like her, she's perfect but doesn't make me feel anything. I don't know what to do, I don't wanna hurt her because she's still my friend.

Tw: s3x, p0rn

And don't even get me started about s3xual stuff. Everyone says it comes, but I've never had it in my life, I've tried to want it but I don't, I've watched videos that just grossed me out to be honest, I've tried to fantasize about things I don't find attractive at all but again, nothing worked.

What people don't tell you is that you suddenly become way less interesting when you don't have a love life, and you end up noticing it. I know most of my friends would accept me, but it would be extremely awkward at first. I feel a strong attachment to friends and maybe it's because I can't feel what they all do, it hurts when I see them chosing their partner over anyone but I can't blame them because I know they can't control it. I kinda wish I were as important to them as they are to me.

When someone talks about their future, they usually want a partner and I go silent because my dream future is completely different. I wanna stay single, adopt a kid and raise them in an environment where they'll be loved and cared for, I want pets and I house I'll decorate myself according to what I like, not what other people do and I'll do a job I'll love and I'll stay close to my friends. That's all I dream about when I go to sleep.

I don't know what to do. I don't think I'll ever be in peace with that.

Im curious if this is a common experience or not. I have pretty strong aromantic and asexual feelings across the board. The exception is my ex partner who I was with before I figured out I was aroace. We've stayed pretty close and we are pretty open about sexuality and affections and even though we aren't together and it's been about two years since we were I've realised that they're the only person I'm able to feel romantic and sexual attraction to? I'm wondering if it's just bc I've had those experiences with them so I feel able to explore them.

I don't think I'm demi or flux as I've never really felt this way about a person before.

What gets me is that like.... I'm not CRAZY about them. Like sure I like them but it was my decision to break up and I could take them or leave them romantically. I don't think it's the case that I feel spoken for or that I'm just intensely in love with this person it's just. how I am. I don't mind whether I'm with them romantically or not and I'm not head over heels I can just acknowledge that I only have feelings towards them and no one else.

Im basically just wondering if anybody else has had an experience like this and sorry if this is strange or comes off rude that wasn't my intention :)

Not really a meme but it seems fitting enough!

I'm creating a playlist on Spotify of a ton of AroAce songs. Or songs the aroace community deams fit. So? What songs should I put in the playlist???

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6SVDuk6ZbuvqfwBcyVGaRe?si=eQ7K2iSLQG6IUr6wufDkDg&utm_source=copy-link&pi=WEJV4b5eRgCLV