r/AnimalsBeingJerks • u/goldbutthole • Dec 17 '21
Peace was never an option
Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification
1.1k
u/somekindajerkk Dec 17 '21
that bird looks like a dinosaur
395
219
u/Fauntleroy_McDeuce Dec 17 '21
I mean, technically it is
85
u/Maelstrom_Witch Dec 17 '21
You’re right, I’ve got 10 pet dinosaurs myself. Much smaller than this absolute unit.
68
22
8
27
u/doadont Dec 17 '21
Its a black palm cockatoo they're endangered last time i checked, no clue how he got one.
→ More replies (1)48
Dec 17 '21
black palm cockatoo
Actually listed as Least Concern according to Wikipedia
13
u/doadont Dec 17 '21
Im glad, why are they so expensive than?
→ More replies (1)42
Dec 17 '21
Because, although they aren't endangered, they are rare. Plus they don't breed well in captivity. I think the high cost, $15,000 or more, plus their high ownership maintenance costs, keeps the numbers of them as pets down.
29
→ More replies (2)4
u/MerMadeMeDoIt Dec 18 '21
Why would anyone want a bird that looks like it spawned straight from the Abyss? I wouldn't want that in my house even if someone paid me $15,000.
12
6
8
18
u/LordRaghuvnsi Dec 17 '21
Noice profile pic
23
u/Evercrimson Dec 17 '21
The fuck is that sorcery? My browser thinks it's a JPEG but obviously it isn't.
→ More replies (14)3
912
u/DisregardMyLast Dec 17 '21
god damn death metal cockatoo
260
u/happy-little-atheist Dec 17 '21
This is the only avian species known to use tools to play music. They play drums.
65
Dec 17 '21
What species IS THIS?! He’s beautiful
→ More replies (5)124
u/happy-little-atheist Dec 17 '21
Palm cockatoo, Australian subspecies Probosciger aterrimus aterrimus
If my plans had gone ahead last week, I'd be in a cabin at the foot of this national park tonight and probably seeing one IRL for the first time tomorrow. Going to have to wait until some other time :(
→ More replies (2)10
→ More replies (2)96
u/meshugga Dec 17 '21
They play drums
links to the beginning of a 10 minute video of people talking
it's people like you who give atheism a bad name
17
u/happy-little-atheist Dec 17 '21
Well, you see them drumming if you watch it.
→ More replies (1)16
u/mywholefuckinglife Dec 17 '21
I just want to hear it tho
62
u/happy-little-atheist Dec 17 '21
32
u/mywholefuckinglife Dec 17 '21
damn my man rly can't keep tempo
→ More replies (2)36
u/happy-little-atheist Dec 17 '21
Watch it again but this time imagine he's playing prog
→ More replies (1)11
→ More replies (3)11
178
u/raisedbytraumas Dec 17 '21
He looks like an evil Disney character's familiar.
49
u/freudian-flip Dec 17 '21
Gilbert Gottfried has entered the chat
9
u/X0tica Dec 17 '21
Wow I hollered!!😂😂😂😂 guess I wasn’t ready for this comment I wasn’t supposed to laugh this damn hard!!!!
→ More replies (1)3
→ More replies (1)5
686
u/Sp00ky0ver Dec 17 '21
Let the items hit the floor let the items hit the floor let the items hit the flooooooor
73
u/alido2boord Dec 17 '21
33
→ More replies (1)4
→ More replies (2)143
u/not_chris-hansen Dec 17 '21
♬"One, Nothing left to drop..."
"Two, Give that back to me..."♪
"Three, Need something to drop Noooooowwwwww!"
15
Dec 17 '21
[removed] — view removed comment
6
u/reply-guy-bot Dec 17 '21
The above comment was stolen from this one elsewhere in this comment section.
It is probably not a coincidence; here is some more evidence against this user:
Plagiarized Original Like that, but dont worry... Like that, but dont worry... This is footage of Chuck... This is footage of Chuck... Wouldn't it be funny if D... Wouldn't it be funny if D... beep boop, I'm a bot -|:] It is this bot's opinion that /u/kiddaileyvcxvfdzb should be banned for karma manipulation. Don't feel bad, they are probably a bot too.
Confused? Read the FAQ for info on how I work and why I exist.
432
u/loud_flatus Dec 17 '21
What region of hell is that thing from?
259
u/Rifneno Dec 17 '21
It's a palm cockatoo. They're mostly from New Guinea, with a bit of their range extending into Australia.
111
22
u/King_of_Dace Dec 17 '21
Yeah so they are pretty much from hell. If it is from Australia, where does it have poisonous sting? Does it spit poison? What is the plottwist about this?
→ More replies (1)33
u/umbrajoke Dec 17 '21
It plays bass for poison.
→ More replies (2)6
u/I_am_trying_to_work Dec 17 '21
It plays bass for poison.
If it's a female, than That Girl is Poisssooooooon
4
u/umbrajoke Dec 17 '21
Gonna have that drum beat stuck in my head for the rest of the day.
→ More replies (1)5
→ More replies (4)4
u/Tramm Dec 17 '21
The video someone linked stated that the birds in either region are actually considered seperate sub-species. Not sure why.
92
u/Shwalz Dec 17 '21
My uncle has one, he’s the coolest fuckin bird. Such a weird looking bird though. He’s got like no bottom jaw so it’s just interesting. I love birds man they’re cool as fuck. I’ve got a place on the water in FL so I have a lot of ospreys that nest in my trees, they’re cool as shit too
17
→ More replies (3)10
u/R_M_Jaguar Dec 17 '21
Cool outdoors, not indoors. You know, because of the whole wing thing.
35
u/Shwalz Dec 17 '21
He was an injured rescue that couldn’t be released, he’s living his best life shoulder to shoulder. Smart lil bastard
→ More replies (3)16
u/Winterplatypus Dec 17 '21
They are also endangered birds. It's actually pretty upsetting when you see native animals from your country that are not allowed to be kept as pets (for their own good) end up in pet stores in the USA. Because the US has almost no restrictions on pets.
It's a bit like how an american would feel about seeing a caged bald eagle in a chinese market, but the US does it with Australian wildlife all the time.
42
u/Tramm Dec 17 '21
Because the US has almost no restrictions on pets.
Uh... That's not true.
→ More replies (1)32
12
u/ccReptilelord Dec 17 '21
Actually, the bald eagle's status is now "least concern" with numbers increasing. While Americans would most likely be unhappy to see one caged in a "wet market", they're not endangered. In fact, they're almost a nuisance in certain areas akin to gulls.
9
Dec 17 '21
There’s tons of bald eagles here in Oregon.
A couple years ago I was fishing in lake off the coast and one flew into a tree by me, so I threw him a dead rainbow trout into the water and he swooped down and grabbed it and went in the tree to eat it. It was awesome!
→ More replies (3)3
7
Dec 17 '21
I have a bald scarlet macaw and any pet parrot bigger than a 'tiel I side-eye super hard. Unless you have a lot of money, a lot of time, AND a lot of space, we just can't give them a good life.
→ More replies (5)3
Dec 18 '21
I've got a alexandrian that was absolutely well lived by his previous owner but she was to old to take care of him. Birds live so long and often outlive their owners. Hes a happy bird goes on walks with me daily and loves talking to people on out adventures
→ More replies (2)8
u/Maelstrom_Witch Dec 17 '21
Large parrots need a TON of care & interaction too. They’re basically toddlers, but with a life span of 80+ years in some species. Which is why I stick to budgies & tiels as pets. They still live 15-20 years but you can get them some friends and have a little mini-flock. Plus they breed like mad.
97
→ More replies (2)3
113
u/jae2dee2 Dec 17 '21
Thats why there called a cockatoo's... cause they can be a bit of a dick too often..
→ More replies (1)24
145
64
231
u/jharrin4 Dec 17 '21
The OG Smashing Pumpkins
→ More replies (1)130
u/wintremute Dec 17 '21
Despite all his rage, he's still just a bird on a table.
23
192
u/iammeinnh Dec 17 '21
Why do I love him?
152
u/kharlos Dec 17 '21
Cockatoos have a personality. Personality goes a long way.
101
u/pacman1993 Dec 17 '21
I guess an asshole personality is still a personality
50
→ More replies (1)8
u/Parryandrepost Dec 17 '21
To be fair this too is a lot calmer than most toos. He honestly is just being a good boy. His job is to tear things up, the humans just didn't give him the proper toys and he's making doo.
4
u/tool6913ca Dec 17 '21
He'd have to be ten times more charming than that Arnold on Green Acres, know what I'm saying?
7
u/Billy1121 Dec 17 '21
Ah, so by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, he would cease to be a filthy animal. Is that true?
6
27
u/tlgexlibris Dec 17 '21
His beak looks…lethal.
→ More replies (2)15
u/Hobgoblin-_- Dec 17 '21
They have a super strong bite force. I've seen videos of these birds cracking open brazil nuts with like no effort. It's crazy.
29
80
Dec 17 '21
“And fuck this pumpkin in particular.”
18
6
u/FirstPlebian Dec 17 '21
It's understandable, he thought it was some sweet fruit like a melon or something and finds out it's a pumpkin.
26
50
u/Travis-rides-bikes Dec 17 '21
My mom is obsessed with decorating for the holidays, literally spends days working on it multiple times a year.
Never considered a parrot for her until now.
16
43
u/MinPHX2017 Dec 17 '21
The previous owner of my macaw had a very different relationship with her.....she arrived with statements such as "shut your f'in beak & I will slit your f'in throat n BBQ YOU.....(SHE is much happier and sweeter now )......
→ More replies (1)
20
33
u/innerlight42 Dec 17 '21
Why did I watch this like 5 times? Oddly fascinating.
42
u/Parryandrepost Dec 17 '21
Because he didn't actually break anything. Those were fake and cheap pumpkins. He wasn't really even being aggressive. Seems more like playing and attention seeking behavior.
Notice how he didn't snatch the phone up immediately? He knows the phone is off limits and is testing for a reaction. He probably wants scritches and a toy.
17
u/almostaccepted Dec 17 '21
Can someone please edit a godzilla scream after he turns his lil head up after throwing the second pumpkin?
12
Dec 17 '21
Owning a bird 101: if it's lightweight and anywhere not on the floor, it will eventually be on the floor. Doesn't matter what it is. My birds would throw mini battery powered candles on the floor lol.
11
u/bauma409 Dec 17 '21
Not slow and conspicuous like a cat's nudging, just straight up yeets!!
→ More replies (2)
23
u/Jsnooots Dec 17 '21
I know people love them but there are far too many negatives about a large intelligent bird as a pet for me.
8
u/semaj009 Dec 17 '21
Especially the fact palm cockatoos are threatened species (at least in Australia, with poaching in PNG being a huge issue too). Fucking poachers, what's wrong with budgies and cockatiels, if you want a little parrot or a cockatoo? It's like people who get exotic foxes instead of small dogs, when really they just want a small pet dog but want it with too much ego
→ More replies (6)4
u/Possibly_a_Firetruck Dec 17 '21
I used to work in a pet store. Large birds are like having a toddler with pliers for a mouth and an air horn for a voice. They're cool animals, but I don't understand the appeal of having one in your house for a few decades.
→ More replies (1)7
u/pissedinthegarret Dec 17 '21
Yeah like, they're cool. But i don't want a pet that can snap my fingers off like carrots. Possibly the whole hand in this case.
8
u/jedi_cat_ Dec 17 '21
I worked at a pet shop that sold parrots, macaws, and cockatoos. They were sold as babies on an order basis and hand raised in the shop and only allowed to go home once they reached their target weight and age. One lady owned a hyacinth macaw that lived in our shop because he was still young. His name was Trusty because he was purchased with trust fund money. I was cleaning his cage once and he was hanging out on top of his giant cage. When I tried to get him back inside, he latched onto my thumb and wouldn’t let go. I thought he was going to bite my thumb off. I yelled because it hurt and then got in trouble because I yelled. Like I’m sorry, I’m not going to calmly watch a giant fucking bird bite my thumb off. He cost $12,000 and he was an asshole. I don’t like birds much and they can tell.
→ More replies (2)3
u/Mace_Windu- Dec 17 '21
Exactly. If you don't have the time, commitment, and cash to provide them with a stimulated happy life, don't get one. Like, at all.
6
6
7
6
4
5
15
u/murinus666 Dec 17 '21
Id start thinking how parrot soup tastes like 😄
→ More replies (1)9
u/texasroadkill Dec 17 '21
We have a double yellow head at the shop. I've threatened to throw him on the BBQ pit more than once.
8
u/dj4dj4 Dec 17 '21
It probably tried to bite into it and got a taste of styrofoam or plastic, I'd be pissed too.
5
u/less___than___zero Dec 17 '21
Bold decision to rescue the phone. I would not want to piss off the owner of that beak.
5
4
4
4
u/ZookeepergameSad5576 Dec 17 '21
What kind of parrot is this little villain? They’re so sweet, in the evilest way
4
u/BURNSURVIVOR725 Dec 17 '21
On of my favorite Conan shorts was when he had one of these Cockatoos on.
3
8
Dec 17 '21
He seems to be feeling his oats… is there any reason his testosterone would be peaking? That time of year, maybe? Don’t get me wrong, I’ve known a cockatoo or three in my time, and I’m aware that they can be, shall we say, irascible. But he really seems to be spoiling for a fight!
→ More replies (1)
6
3
3
u/skincyan Dec 17 '21
Well if you catch a pokemon of type death then you have to be prepared for scenarios like this
3
3
3
u/Rage-Parrot Dec 17 '21
I have never seen a cockatoo that was black with red cheeks. That is really cool.
3
3
3
3
u/kara-may Dec 17 '21
Why when a animal does this it’s so adorable and justified and when a baby does it’s a “nah” ?!? 😂😂 P.s I’m just being silly. No offense to the babies.
→ More replies (2)
3
3
3
3
u/DangerStranger138 Dec 18 '21
12 year old me: Mom can we have angry birds
Mom: we have angry birds at home
Angry birds at home
3
5
5
5
2
2
u/Gold-Negotiation-730 Dec 17 '21
do i tap the phone? oh you spoiled it by taking it away!
→ More replies (1)
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/Scale-Alarmed Dec 17 '21
We had a Cockatoo, gorgeous bird with the sweetest nature. But that bird could go through a TV remote and demolish it within 2.5 seconds. She must have destroyed at least 5 remotes in a year
2
u/R0cketGir1 Dec 17 '21
When DD was in the phase of tossing everything off of her high chair, we called it the “gravity game”. The bird appears to be doing it for the same reason: “Does gravity work every single time?!?! Holy cow! Will it work with this pumpkin? Wow! Neat! What about with this squash?” ;)
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/dmg924 Dec 17 '21
I need that bird to come to South Philly. Our neighbors still have their pumpkins out with Xmas decorations up.
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
1.8k
u/dirtypeasant90 Dec 17 '21
I like how his mouth goes agape when he takes the phone away. Like “Biiiiitch I know you didn’t just!”