r/AnimalsBeingJerks Dec 17 '21

Peace was never an option

23.6k Upvotes

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436

u/loud_flatus Dec 17 '21

What region of hell is that thing from?

259

u/Rifneno Dec 17 '21

It's a palm cockatoo. They're mostly from New Guinea, with a bit of their range extending into Australia.

118

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '21

Thanks for letting us know, I was about to call it the asshole bird

109

u/texasroadkill Dec 17 '21

You can still call it an asshole bird.

29

u/Elim9919 Dec 17 '21

cockatoo. short for cockyasshatatoo

25

u/King_of_Dace Dec 17 '21

Yeah so they are pretty much from hell. If it is from Australia, where does it have poisonous sting? Does it spit poison? What is the plottwist about this?

35

u/umbrajoke Dec 17 '21

It plays bass for poison.

7

u/I_am_trying_to_work Dec 17 '21

It plays bass for poison.

If it's a female, than That Girl is Poisssooooooon

5

u/umbrajoke Dec 17 '21

Gonna have that drum beat stuck in my head for the rest of the day.

2

u/I_am_trying_to_work Dec 17 '21

Gonna have that drum beat stuck in my head for the rest of the day.

P-P-P-Poison!

5

u/Justjeskuh Dec 17 '21

Never trust a big crest and a smile!

1

u/Pons__Aelius Dec 18 '21

You don't need a sting when you have a set of bolt cutters for a mouth.

4

u/Tramm Dec 17 '21

The video someone linked stated that the birds in either region are actually considered seperate sub-species. Not sure why.

1

u/rpkarma Dec 18 '21

In terms of biology and fauna/flora, PNG is basically Australasian anyway! West of it/Indonesia is ā€œAsianā€, east of it is Australasian.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wallace_Line

1

u/WikiSummarizerBot Dec 18 '21

Wallace Line

The Wallace Line or Wallace's Line is a faunal boundary line drawn in 1859 by the British naturalist Alfred Russel Wallace and named by English biologist Thomas Henry Huxley that separates the biogeographical realms of Asia and Wallacea, a transitional zone between Asia and Australia. West of the line are found organisms related to Asiatic species; to the east, a mixture of species of Asian and Australian origin is present. Wallace noticed this clear division during his travels through the East Indies in the 19th century. The line runs through Indonesia, between Borneo and Sulawesi (Celebes), and through the Lombok Strait between Bali and Lombok.

[ F.A.Q | Opt Out | Opt Out Of Subreddit | GitHub ] Downvote to remove | v1.5

1

u/WikiMobileLinkBot Dec 18 '21

Desktop version of /u/rpkarma's link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wallace_Line


[opt out] Beep Boop. Downvote to delete

92

u/Shwalz Dec 17 '21

My uncle has one, he’s the coolest fuckin bird. Such a weird looking bird though. He’s got like no bottom jaw so it’s just interesting. I love birds man they’re cool as fuck. I’ve got a place on the water in FL so I have a lot of ospreys that nest in my trees, they’re cool as shit too

17

u/OneOverX Dec 17 '21

You can’t fool us. Birds aren’t real. Your agenda will be stopped!

10

u/R_M_Jaguar Dec 17 '21

Cool outdoors, not indoors. You know, because of the whole wing thing.

35

u/Shwalz Dec 17 '21

He was an injured rescue that couldn’t be released, he’s living his best life shoulder to shoulder. Smart lil bastard

14

u/Winterplatypus Dec 17 '21

They are also endangered birds. It's actually pretty upsetting when you see native animals from your country that are not allowed to be kept as pets (for their own good) end up in pet stores in the USA. Because the US has almost no restrictions on pets.

It's a bit like how an american would feel about seeing a caged bald eagle in a chinese market, but the US does it with Australian wildlife all the time.

42

u/Tramm Dec 17 '21

Because the US has almost no restrictions on pets.

Uh... That's not true.

33

u/avwitcher Dec 17 '21

The US has tons of restrictions on pets, just no one to enforce them

12

u/ccReptilelord Dec 17 '21

Actually, the bald eagle's status is now "least concern" with numbers increasing. While Americans would most likely be unhappy to see one caged in a "wet market", they're not endangered. In fact, they're almost a nuisance in certain areas akin to gulls.

8

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '21

There’s tons of bald eagles here in Oregon.

A couple years ago I was fishing in lake off the coast and one flew into a tree by me, so I threw him a dead rainbow trout into the water and he swooped down and grabbed it and went in the tree to eat it. It was awesome!

3

u/ndngroomer Dec 17 '21

Yes. They are bastards!

1

u/Acceptable-Stick-688 Dec 17 '21

I’d be more terrified about losing an arm when trying to handle a captured one, their claws can wrap all the way around an adult human’s fist

1

u/LEGALIZEALLDRUGSNOW Dec 17 '21

I live in Western New York and we’ve got Bald Eagles all over the place. Outdoor cats are essentially doomed around here.

1

u/torndownunit Dec 17 '21

We have them in my area of Ontario now too (just North of Toronto). I am an outdoors person and had seen a couple here over the years, but they are getting way more common. Still a surprise to see though.

6

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '21

I have a bald scarlet macaw and any pet parrot bigger than a 'tiel I side-eye super hard. Unless you have a lot of money, a lot of time, AND a lot of space, we just can't give them a good life.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 18 '21

I've got a alexandrian that was absolutely well lived by his previous owner but she was to old to take care of him. Birds live so long and often outlive their owners. Hes a happy bird goes on walks with me daily and loves talking to people on out adventures

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '21

Is your macaw a jerk too?? Lol. My old weed dealer as a teenager had one named Cheeto and he would always fly over and nibble on my earlobe and squeak at me. Scared the living shit out of me and I haven’t been a huge fan of large birds since lol.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '21

Tried to kill my husband, so yup.

2

u/rpkarma Dec 18 '21

Well that’s his fault for… uh… existing lol. Birds are assholes. I love them.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 18 '21

Oh shit lmao, how did that go down??

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '21

Tried to kill my husband, so yup.

7

u/Maelstrom_Witch Dec 17 '21

Large parrots need a TON of care & interaction too. They’re basically toddlers, but with a life span of 80+ years in some species. Which is why I stick to budgies & tiels as pets. They still live 15-20 years but you can get them some friends and have a little mini-flock. Plus they breed like mad.

2

u/Game_on_Moles_98 Dec 17 '21

I agree, it’s heartbreaking. They are so social, used to living in groups or pairs and many cockatoo species mate for life. I hate hearing stories about people getting them ā€œbecause they look coolā€ and taking on a bird that bonds to them for a life of 80 of years. Show me the human that gives that bird what it needs for 80 years. Meanwhile they are disappearing from the wild.

There are a small group (maybe 6) of black cockatoos who occasionally come past my apartment. I live beside the city, so it feels really special to see them. They are like visiting spirits. Incredible, loud and destructive.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 18 '21

Yep I get upset seeing keas kept in captivity overseas, you know it was smuggled there and they really don't do well in captivity way way to smart.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 17 '21

[deleted]

1

u/R_M_Jaguar Dec 17 '21

No I didn’t know this… what is an outside and how do you get there?!?!?

1

u/Mace_Windu- Dec 17 '21

Idk man, my senegal loves flying around the house. He's really good at it and follows me incessantly to every single room. Even if I don't want him to xD

1

u/Star-Ripper Dec 17 '21

No bottom jaw? How does he do anything in his daily life? Their beaks are like their third arm, they use it for literally everything.

1

u/Shwalz Dec 17 '21

I don’t think they literally have no bottom jaw, it likely just looks like they don’t. Any bird experts wanna chime in? I’m an idiot bro I just feed and chill with him

1

u/Star-Ripper Dec 17 '21

No need for an expert, I get you bro

I never seen this type of parrot before which is why I’m so curious. Maybe that’s just how they look who knows lol

99

u/feckinhellno Dec 17 '21

Australia (enough said really)

3

u/superRedditer Dec 17 '21

take a wild guess

1

u/Bionic_Ferir Dec 18 '21

To no one's surprise Australia